How you define life, it’s meaning, and the reasons you are ultimately here is entirely up to you. Some take a nihilistic approach and believe there is no fated meaning but perhaps we can derive one. Others believe in predestination, or free will within that predestination. Your upbringing, religious or spiritual beliefs, and life experiences will lead you to what is true for you. As always, I want to share a new perspective for you to consider.
Here’s what you need to know in order to be successful and healthy: life is an energy game. Who can gain the most, who can be stolen from, who can generate it themselves and who cannot, and who can let go of harmful energies in order to overcome the traumas of the past and self-actualize.
As I have said before, we all have at least 7 energy centers on our bodies, called the chakras (though other faith traditions say there are more). These centers are nothing more than pinpoints on the body where complex physiological activity occurs 24/7: the brain, the thyroid, the heart, the stomach, the intestines, and the sex organs. For those interested in metaphysics, the chakras also store or generate spiritual energy. Because of one’s core wounds (aka vulnerabilities), which drain your energy and put you at a disadvantage, this energy has to be intentionally rebuilt over time and with hard work.
Think of the chakras like seven distinct deposit centers that amount to a sum total of bottom line energy (called kundalini). Kundalini is present in its pure form at birth, it is said, though it gets suppressed and blocked by the ways the ego of others are imposed onto us, creating core wounds or “debts”. In other words, if you are wounded in one chakra center, your overall “bank sum” will be low, despite deposits being made in other chakras. Ideally, you want a hefty energy “bank account” where no energy center is ever in the red, and in fact has plenty to withdraw at a moments notice, should you need it. Total self-actualization or enlightenment comes when you posses full kundalini power.
We have been taught to pursue physical possessions and paper money. The truth is that we must pursue the energetic currency of the soul in order to find success.
For example, your thoughts, voice, feelings, perceptions, and creativity has been suppressed since childhood, or since a specific trigger. Perhaps you have also been diagnosed with a thyroid disease. When the time comes to defend yourself, speak up, or “sell yourself” within a job/relationship, you will end up fearful, anxious, quiet, and regretful because you feel you are unable to rise to the occasion. Unless you use it, you will lose it. And if you have never truly used your fifth chakra skills before, you will not have enough in your bank account to withdrawal during these necessary moments. Ultimately, not rising to the occasion will leave you feeling bad about yourself, inadequate, and small. In this case, your bank card withdrawal limit means nothing if you live in a cyclical state of unworthiness.
The next time such a challenge comes around, you may react in the same way and rescind to a hiding or shame place, or you may be overcome with grief and regret. Round and round you go on the hamster wheel because you are unsure of how to get what you desire, yet stepping out in bravery to re-activate this energy center feels too daunting. You resign yourself to a smaller, more diminutive version of who you really are and you accept that you will never be as big as you want to be — or as big as you want your relationships, job, or other pursuits to be.
This is why I illuminate your core wounds and life lessons in Energy Readings — your health and life depend on you activating these energy centers and building up deposits so big, so grand that you have more than enough to help yourself to when you decide to take the road less traveled; when you decide to forgo the repetition and choose the hard road towards self-actualization. You can change, and you deserve to.
Building up your energy centers yourself is but one piece to this game we call life. If you are an empath, you are capable of generating you own energy. But know that not everyone can. This is the primary reason narcissists prey on empaths: it’s not just fun to these people to bring you down, it is a currency. It is how they feed, how they fuel, and how they get a “paycheck” despite having no personal source of “income”. As Dr. Christiane Northrup says, narcissistic individuals feed off your ATP (the fuel your mitochondria use to produce energy), and they also elicit stress responses from others, which get them high on feel good peptides (proteins) their bodies release at the thought of drama or conflict.
Narcissists cannot generate their own energy because they cannot and will not allow for an equal balance of energy in relationships and transactions; they remain on top, in power, and in control. Sharing is what generates energy and narcissists are incapable of this. So instead, they steal what is not theirs by being in charge — whether in big or small ways.
As an empath or highly sensitive person, you already know that when you give, you feel good. Good energy for good energy is your subconscious motto. When you listen, care, and help, you feel great. You feel energized. It may or may not get you anything in return, but you feel good doing it because you know it is the right thing to do. When you generate good energy yourself, you feel it in your bones and it makes you want to keep doing it. The sad reality is, narcissists have never felt this and envy the shit out of you. They wish they could generate their own energy. But letting down the wall and allowing for an equal exchange of currency could put them at a disadvantage (sometimes people don’t return the good energy even when you are compassionate) so they choose not to. They can’t afford to lose any energetic currency because they think it is in short supply and worry they will one day run out. Then what would keep them going?
A common scenario I have seen is how empathic women are targeted by “mean girls” when an empath openly shares their good energy with men, children, or other empathic females. In the case of empathic women sharing positive non-sexual energy with men, narcissistic women get so worked up and interpret this as a form of seduction rather than kindness. You see, narcissistic women are especially terrified of their controlling energy being usurped by true chakra energy (the kind you build yourself, not the kind you steal — that is a rarity after all and men and children take notice).
It may sound ironic, but they have learned to control men within the system of patriarchy itself by means of passive aggression, groupthink, subconscious suggestion, intellectual prowess (“she’s too emotional, she’s not smart like me, you can’t trust her”), shunning and shaming, name calling of other women (whore, slut, take your pick), withholding sex, and nasty body language. It is ironic that the very system they are slaves to is also the system they use to their advantage to block any threat to their food supply.
On the flip side, within this same second chakra example, narcissistic men also dominate empathic women through subconscious suggestion or imparting a “less than” mindset — keeping you at a distance until they decide you are worthy. You are less pretty than her, you are less erotic than her, you need this to keep him aroused, you need to act like her to keep him interested. Who you are, your true nature in which you can actually generate chakra energy, becomes dismissed and treated as if it were a dirty little secret you must keep away in order for him to get it up (yes, I just said that. I have to speak in specifics in order for people to connect the dots in their lives). And if he can’t, it’s your fault. How many years can you go internalizing this?
These mind games serve you no purpose here. Life is about generating good energy through sharing of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These mind games are in fact strategies narcissist use in this energy game we call life. We must learn not to indulge their strategies and maneuvering. In doing so, you build up your own chakra energy and stop it from being usurped, and find true health and happiness. Play the game to win.
In order to win at the energy game we call life, do these things:
- Affirm yourself: you are beautiful, intelligent, emotionally in touch, deep, sexual, friendly, open, and kind. You are allowed to be these things and you are allowed to build up these energies within you, without anyone else’s permission. It is okay to get “too big” for others.
- Get rid of narcissistic personalities in your life.
- See narcissist for what they really are: energy vampires.
- Stop giving narcissists a food supply; cut them off, say no, stand up to them, change the power dynamics.
- Purse what you want in your life, without getting permission from anyone.
- Work through your core wounds and life lessons to rebuild your kundalini.
- Fix your fascial adhesions, which create a density that blocks chakra activity and the physiological equilibrium within your brain and other organs or glands.
- Stop caring about what other people think. It will keep you small and trapped.
- Stand up to the energy vampires and stop letting them have power over you and others.
- Do not accept gifts from narcissists as they are a form of indebtedness.
- Say no when you need to.
- Say yes when you want to.
- Call out systems that put empaths at a disadvantage. Then actively work to change them.
- Let go of past traumas and find a way to process, then resolve them. They are keeping your account in the red.
- Find 50 solutions for every curve ball that is thrown your way; never give up.
- Don’t turn your energy off for anyone or anything — live a turned on life in which each chakra center is able to buzz with vibrant energy and remains that way despite energetic challenges.
- Generate good energy by helping others.