Some call it a dark night of the soul. Others call it ego death. Whatever the term, the empaths are being called to shed their egoic mind and ascend to higher planes of emotional and spiritual awareness. Plain and simple, the world needs it right now as we shift out of trauma and fear and into love and peace. Specifically, the energies from December 12-21 are demanding it of us and it is heavy. We need it on a personal level and we need it on a collective level.
Ego death is when you are forced to reconcile your karma, when you are forced to see your blind spots, your problems, your complicity, the way you hurt others and the way others have continually hurt you. Think of the ego like prison bars around your brain. It keeps your emotional, spiritual, and mental health inside barriers, not allowing you to grow and expand, not allowing you to see beyond the circumstantial, the ways you have always thought about things and always done things. It keeps you in a low vibration and prevents your true life path and genius from rising.
Think of this process like this: there lies a huge block of ice in front of you, which represents your ego. You take an ice pick to the block and begin hitting it, smashing pieces to the ground. It’s freezing outside so there is no chance of it melting on its own. A few shards hit the ground and you ask your higher self or higher power questions about why those shards froze into the block to begin with. You get answers and see your blind spots and wounds for what they really are; why you made those decisions or passively allowed them to transpire. It can take weeks, months, or years to slowly but surely chip away at the ice and you can’t except it to do the work itself and you can’t overlook the tiny shard on the ground. They all mean something and they all lead you to the truth and without examining each one, your ego stays put. Only when you take care of each individual ice crystal with the heat of friction will you allow it to dissolve in the cold weather.
Once you begin this “icy” process, it shifts into something more like a tornado. It’s like a proverbial opening of Pandora’s box and all of the things you suppressed and hid or pretended weren’t there come rushing out. You can’t control it, you have to just ride the waves. Imagine you are observing a tornado close-up from the side of the road and suddenly find yourself caught in the eye. You’ll get blown to the left, blown to the right, blown up, down, and sideways inside of it. It controls and suspends you and you can’t get out. As you pick away at that ice block, you may lower down into the storm system, feeling like you’re making progress about exiting and feel exuberant about it. The next moment, a huge chunk of ice falls off the block and you get drawn up higher into the storm system — one step forward, two steps backwards. You thought you were making progress but suddenly realize how far you have to go to climb your way out. So too is the shedding of the ego. One step forward, a few steps backwards, always lowering into the cone, then getting drawn back into the eye. It’s not your fault, it is normal.
Stages of ego death:
- Spiritual awakening (some kind of impetus wakes you up out of the amnesia. Awareness of the disconnect from your soul — all of the ways you have compromised yourself for other people’s benefit)
- Seeking (delving deeper into your religion, spirituality, or esoteric and metaphysical matters that you vibe with)
- Trying to explain or bring others into your process because you desire true connection
- Isolation (when you begin to ascend on your own path and realize others, even your closest loved ones, are no longer on the same wavelength as you because you were wearing a mask when you bonded with them and so were they)
- Grief (life isn’t what I want it to be/thought it would be)
- Avoidance (trying to avoid the ego problems that led you to this point; blocking spiritual ascension)
- Denial (“things aren’t as bad as they seem; I can live with my ego — everyone else does. I don’t have any problems.”)
- Acceptance (“I need to do something to change this situation”)
- Change (recognizing major life changes you need to make in order to ascend and doing it despite the hardship)
- Deconstruction (identifying every bad/low energy in your body and soul, identifying problems and picking them apart to see what the cause of it was and what led you there — identification of core wounds and life lessons)
- Detaching from karmic partners (letting go of toxic relationships that keep you in your ego. This can happen quickly if you are headstrong, or you may go back to them time and again because you worry about the consequences of leaving them — there is typically punishment involved. It’s not called karma for nothing.)
- Figure out who you actually are on a soul level and pursue that
- Regret over what you have done to others
- Seeking friendships and partnerships with people on your new wavelength
- Resentment and frustration, or sadness, anger and bitterness (at those who have wounded you time and time again, or cyclical situations you always find yourself in; re-triggering. This can happen many times throughout the process)
- Release of the triggers by finding new ways to look at them (ex: this person did that to me because of this thing that happened to them, they didn’t realize what they were doing; I wanted love and acceptance so I made this compromise which caused this consequence, etc)
- Peace and acceptance (finding your true life path, releasing karma, accepting yourself and your choices or lessons, healing your core wounds)
- Good fortune (getting what you deserve — good things — because you shed your ego)
If you are going through this or know others who are, please please please use kid gloves with these people. They may act out, or withdrawal. They’re not depressed, weird, or bipolar. They’re having an existential crisis. Don’t talk about them/gossip, take advantage of them, or backstab while they are down and confused. (If you have true mental health problems, please seek professional support, but I am only speaking about transient life issues based on a spiritual awakening here).
You or others also need understanding, support, and connection during this time. Typically, someone shedding their ego doesn’t want or need advice. Telling these people what you think is best for them won’t help or work because everyone is on their own unique journey and so your words of wisdom can do more damage than good since this person needs to tune into their intuition and higher power in order to find their way out. Your life experiences will not help someone who has had vastly unique experiences that you cannot understand (this is why I offer Energy Readings — so I can be a blank slate for you and lead you to your higher truth). This means listen and absorb or accept what they are going through without pressuring for answers or resolution. This means sitting with them to absorb their energy instead of expecting something from them. In life, we have often had Maslow’s hierarchy of needs withheld from us. During this time, those awakening desperately need higher-level emotional support in order to self-actualize.