The inherent fallacies of abuse

As I’ve said before, my career started out in nutrition and it is still work that I love to do: coaching clients towards much better health and getting to the root of their illness with specific, functional foods. However, over the last 8 years with clients, we inevitably always needed to address mind-body issues that were keeping their health in a poor state. Namely, empathic people were coming to me wondering why they were so sick and unable to make diet alone work for them. It wasn’t until we deconstructed the stressful energy in their lives and the stressful relationship dynamics that they were able to break the cycles. Enter abuse, or, that is, hidden and unspoken abuse.

Abuse is a buzzword at the moment, and with so many people sharing their stories, you may assume that you haven’t experienced any because your story may not be as dramatic as someone else’s. Simply put — this is just not true. Abuse exists on a spectrum and while some people have experienced extreme variations, others have experienced much more nuanced forms and neither is “better” or “worse” — all are valid and need to be recognized and processed.

I don’t operate as a therapist, so if you have been abused, please seek professional help. That said, my role is to help you identify the nuanced, subconscious energies that are present in your life and body and in order to heal, you have to break these cycles once and for all. That means abuse thrives in unspoken, subconscious fallacies that the victim is forced to accept as truth. Once you see the fallacies in the unspoken assumptions, you can break the pattern of feeling less than, unworthy, and sick. For some, these words have actually been said to you. For others, it is implied. See if the below could be true for you.

The inherent fallacies of abuse:

“You are imperfect so I deserve to abuse you”

“You react to my abuse so you yourself are abusive”

“If you could be better, I wouldn’t have to abuse you”

“You are incapable of doing anything for yourself, so you need me”

“You are so ugly/stupid/undesirable you will never find anyone else to love you; you need me”

“Everyone else sees how imperfect you are too and when I speak with friends/family, they reaffirm this for me”

“I deserve to control you because of how incompetent you are”

“You will never get the affirmation you seek from anyone, so I don’t need to give it to you either”

“I am allowed to be emotionally unavailable with you because you are so lacking” / “I deserve to have my needs met elsewhere”

“You cause nothing but problems”

“Your desire for reciprocation makes you needy”

Once you begin to recognize these implications in your relationships (whether it be work, family, friendship, or romance), start to see how false and misleading these statements are. Even if these things have not been said to you directly, but a person’s behavior implies these things, that too is abusive. You deserve love, reciprocation, trust, and desire from all relationships. If the flow of energy is one-sided and one-directional, you deserve to free yourself from such karmic bonds.

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