The shame of feeling deeply

Most of the blog posts I write are directed at people on the empathic spectrum and this one is no different. Empathic people have, by and large, based on my observations through being one myself and working with them, feel an internal conflict or distance between who they are on the inside and who they are being asked to be for the external world. Namely, they feel greatly ashamed for the depth of emotion they experience. This is largely because you are connected to other dimensions of reality that cannot be seen with the naked eye — only felt — while you are having to survive in the tangible world (aka: 5D versus 3D).

I’ve alluded to the discrepancies between the 3D and 5D worlds before, but I’ll break it down again. I think of the 3D world much like the 1950s. It’s the “you need to press your shirt and brush your hair because the neighbors are watching”, or “you need to land that well-paying job even if you hate it because without it, you won’t be respected”, or “we don’t discuss feelings in this family; put on your big boy pants and happy face and pretend there are no problems.” It’s playing a role that was assigned to you by others so that you can meet external demands and keep others happy at the expense of your soul. It’s also the smiles and poses on social media that create a false storyline in which your life is magnificent despite going to bed lonely every night, or having serious issues with self-worth, or despite walking on eggshells in your home. The 3D world consumes your thoughts and asks you to focus on pop culture, television, celebrities, finances, clothing, entertainment, sports games, and societal norms that just don’t feel right.

The 5D world is much like the societal awakenings that came after the 50s: change, revolution, expression, bucking the norms and mores, and indulging those parts of you that want to feel — even if the Jones’ are appalled (though secretly, they peer through their blinds and wish they could be like you even if they judge and gossip about your decisions). It is the reckoning that comes after you realize how miserable the 3D world has made you and after you begin to honor that which your soul desires. Your soul wants to feel, it is made to feel, and without the function of feeling, you are a robot.

In the 3D world, empathic people (and, well, all people) have experienced the shame that comes with being a person who feels deeply. You love too much and you are obsessive. You care too much and you are grandstanding. You express emotions and you are hysterical. You put your foot down and acknowledge abuse and you are exaggerating (or, you react to abuse and you yourself are abusive). If history has taught us anything (women and hysteria diagnoses, other Bulverisms, gay and transgender beatings and killings, the broke poets and artists), it is that you can’t get anywhere as a feeling being in the 3D; it is simply not acceptable.

In order to overcome the shame associated with feeling deeply, you have to understand the system. You see, the shame was never about you — it is about upholding systems of control. When you can no longer be controlled, you become a threat and all threats gets neutralized to some degree. In other words, as your soul emerges from the black and white television set to some G-rated sitcom, you begin to face shame from others because you couldn’t be the “good girl” (or good boy) and fit in with everyone else. It isn’t about the expression of your soul — it is about them still needing and craving external forms of validation. The more you get in touch with your 5D self or soul, the less external validation you need. Suddenly you have uprooted the system of control. Suddenly others are having to face their own egos that have helped them thrive in the 3D world which makes them feel very uncomfortable.

The main function of empathy is feeling. This is simply who you are and it cannot be changed. Yes it can be glossed over and hidden. It can be ignored. But with time your physical and emotional health will suffer so much you will begin to see that hiding just isn’t worth it. The next time you are faced with a decision between being true to your soul and glossing over it so others are not uncomfortable remember this: feeling uproots the control system and the only way the world will change is by people like you and I taking a stand and admitting we feel deeply. Any shame that arises is old programming that keeps the 3D system in power. As always, the choice is yours.

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