Your intuition is your power. It is knowing without knowing why (though later on, with careful observation, you do learn why). It is trusting your gut, your first instinct, despite the many ways you are talked out of it. When honored and honed, it is also speaking off the cuff, acting from the hip, and not giving a damn about what anyone else demands. It is following your natural internal cycles and rhythms and indulging them rather than being overtaken with shame, guilt, or fear. It is recognizing the cognitive dissonance around you and accepting it for what it is: a lie.
Perhaps you are at a point in your life where you have seen how suppressing this truth has made you sick time and time again. Perhaps you are at a place where you want to regain the power that was taken from you. As you work to regain your intuitive abilities, your health will improve, plain and simple. Suppressing it for years and years has landed you in a bad place. It steals your joy, zaps your energy, blocks chakra activation, and creates physical and emotional blockages. It makes you a robot, or zombie, living a life you never chose (one that others chose for you), unable to self-actualize to your greatest good and purpose here. It keeps you stressed and down, drifting through life rather than facing it head on.
Without a robust intuition, you are at the mercy of others. You are a pawn in their game because they know they can get you to do whatever it is they please with a simple shame game, nasty look, and word of discord. They know your wounds and the wound of blocked intuition tells a woman she is powerless, cannot make her own decisions, cannot trust herself, and can only ever receive external validation based on the expectations of those around her. “Look this way” it tells you. “Act this way” it demands. “Do this for me” it says. How wrong they all are.
If you want to tap into your intuition to begin living an authentic life you must overcome great — huge — societal hurdles. The kind of hurdles that are the scariest things for you. The things that will take you to your lowest places. The kind of challenges that require you stop accepting any form of external validation and finally go it alone, with only yourself as your compass: “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”
Here’s the thing: we have all been born into a masculine system. It assigns men or more masculine personalities certain inherent rights at birth. Rights that give them permission while the feminine’s are taken or hidden. Rights that make a man feel worthy, because he has someone to always subjugate. It is the man who forces his way past you and expects you to move out of his way. The man who calls you a child (or treats you like one) despite the many strong things you have done in your time on earth. The man who expects of you without giving in return. The thing is, this system is but a facade on stilts. And the only things keeping it upright are secrets and power plays.
For a feminine to access her intuition, she has to uproot the system. It is not enough to trust herself, she must also act on it. She has to tell the truth (aka: spill the secrets she has buried in her blood and bones and pretended not to know) and she has to own her birthright power. In doing so, she will make enemies. You cannot be afraid of making enemies. It is better to make enemies for righteous causes than have friends for sake of falsehoods. Your true intuitive nature was suppressed to make it easier for others. Stop making it easy for them. After all, all they have are secrets and ambition keeping them in power. You were born to uproot this fake system with the truth.
Here’s what keeps the feminine’s intuition suppressed:
“Be a good girl” mentality. Being a good girl is imposed on women from the earliest age. Societal expectations have told you who you are to be, not the other way around. Chances are, no one has ever asked you who you are and sought to understand you. It has always been you working hard to meet someone else’s expectations of who you should be. Many women are told to “keep sweet”, aren’t allowed to indulge their sexuality without public humiliation and punishment, run on a never-ending hamster wheel of self-deprecation and self-woe over their physical appearance, and are kept distracted by the demands of judgment from others for decades at a time.
Maybe you haven’t had experiences so dramatic, or maybe you have despite thinking you lead a “normal” or “progressive” life. When a woman is told to “keep sweet”, “be a good girl”, whether verbally or through implication, she cannot tap into her intuitive abilities because the yearnings of the soul will never be in complete alignment with a religious text or societal expectation. It is a box that keeps her trapped because to break free would require not caring about who she has been told to be — the scariest thing ever. She’s never seen anyone else escape so she thinks, “I must be the only one” — every other woman is so good at being good.
Fear over making toxic masculines grow. Many intuitive women have been raised in homes and families in which there was very strong, heavy, and toxic masculine energy. The father was the head of the family, he controlled you and others with anger, resentment, punishment, fear, and threats. Maybe you were spanked. Maybe everyone was so emotionally unavailable that you were never able to share your feelings without fear of punishment. Nothing feminine was ever honored and in fact, it was shamed when exposed. If this is the case, chances are you have quietly accepted this behavior from others your entire life without realizing it. It has likely driven you deeper and deeper into pain because you do not believe you can trust yourself without someone becoming angry or without becoming ashamed for your true nature. In reality, this is more about a fear of forcing them to grow and change. Growth and change happen as a result of duality or polarity. If you were only ever exposed to masculine energy, while the feminine remained hidden, you couldn’t develop your intuitive abilities because you’ve only ever been indoctrinated rather than allowed to explore.
The problem is, toxic masculines do not want to grow and change because that would allow the balance of power to be equal. They would have to rescind their role as dictator and allow others to have power in the relationship. They would have to be exposed to new information, to see things differently, to hear another side to the story. The feminine has been so fearful of the retaliation that could occur if she did speak her truth and therefore, force someone else to see things from her perspective. Please note that women can exhibit these behaviors as much as men, it is only the system I am referring to here.
You make people question their preconceived notions of what life should be. Go to school, get a job, get married, have kids, live happily ever after is what we have been taught will make you successful, respected, and happy. Up, up, and up like a data chart with an ascending arrow. “Buy low, sell high!” and the whole bit. The truth is that life is a series of ups and downs, zigs and zags, stops and starts, then stops again, messes and spills, blood, sweat and tears, broken glass, and full glasses. Following your intuition will result in a messy but fulfilling life. You get to choose which you prefer: neat and tidy but boring and unfulfilling and disconnected, or messy as fuck and the greatest adventure you could have ever imagined. The experiences allow you to develop your intuition, plain and simple. Without raw, life-shattering experiences you learn little to nothing. When others see you having said raw experiences, they get uncomfortable because they’re too messy. They can’t understand you and they don’t want to “catch” whatever it is you have. You can forgo their judgments and perceptions and chase that adventure down, live the journey, accept the ups and downs, and become intuitive. The choice is yours.
Dumbing yourself down. I think this is pretty self-explanatory but there is a long list of reasons feminines dumb themselves down. When they do, they believe others to be superior, know more, be more trustworthy or intelligent than themselves. This leads to more silence and self-doubt.
“My ideas are stupid”
“Everyone else knows more than me”
“I’m not skilled enough to contribute”
“Other people get rewarded and I never do; I must be wrong”
“They have more training than me”
“I don’t have book knowledge”
“I’ve always been told I was wrong”
“I’m just supposed to be a pretty face”
“My intelligence will intimidate them”
“My intelligence will threaten their egos”
“My intelligence makes me less attractive”
“I will face consequences if I speak up”
“I can be pretty or smart, but not both”
Keep in mind your intuitive inkling may be different than others’ ideas and opinions, but that doesn’t make it wrong. It only means you are escaping from the box while they aren’t aware they are in it.
The “you fought back” abuse fallacy. Like I said, it is not enough to trust your intuition, you also must put it into action. When you do, the messages you receive will be so contradictory to everything around you, it will launch you into action. You will begin to see the injustices, the unfairness, the abuse. You will want to do something about it. When you do, you will be called a problem for acknowledging the problems in the first place. You will be blamed. You will be put on trial. Your every mannerism, smile, word, will be cross examined and dissected. They will find reasons not to like you. They will find reasons why the joy in your soul is dark rather than light. They will take a flashlight to your skin to find the “moles”. “It was her intuition’s fault” they will say. Don’t let this blameshifting stop you — trust yourself and do the things anyway. It is a sign you are on the right track.
And finally — when I think of intuition and the feminine experience, I think of this quote from one of my favorite books. Keep it in your heart. Refer to it often. The feminine intuition is that mythical creature. You only know it when you feel it — somewhere in the wild, unexpectedly and for better or worse, it changes you forever. Most people have forgotten it exists. But if you’ve caught a glimpse, you know it is real. “I am the only Unicorn there is? The last? That cannot be. Why would I be the last? What do men know? Because they have seen no unicorns for a while does not mean we have all vanished. We do not vanish. There has never been a time without unicorns. We live forever! We are as old as the sky, old as the moon! We can be hunted, trapped; we can even be killed if we leave our forests, but we do not vanish.”