How to not give your abuser your energy forever
I want to start off this post by saying two things: abuse is never the victim’s fault — ever — and you cannot prevent abuse. Abuse happens because perpetrators choose to abuse, bottom line, plain and simple. Abusers should posses self-control just like any other person and of course, they do not. It is not the victim’s fault that someone else lacks self-control. There was nothing you could do to make them possess self-control because that has to come from within a person.
That said, I have been through enough abuse in my life that I know this: just because someone terrorizes you does not mean you have to allow yourself to give your perp your fearful, angry, resentful, frenetic, or sad energy forever. Yes, you will be a victim when someone victimizes you. But you do not need to continue to give them your power after the abuse has transpired.
See, what I have learned is that abuse is by and large about energy. One person craves a certain form of energy (be it sex, money, codependency, attention, control) and one person has theirs usurped. In the moment of abuse, there’s not much you can do. Someone overpowers you physically, someone takes your money, takes your good name — you are legitimately a victim –there’s no way to prevent this. Because one person pursues, the other person naturally runs, fights back, or freezes. One abuser, one victim; one chaser, one runner. One in power, one with no power. Abuse itself is what puts you in the role of the victim because of the dynamics between victimizer and victim. You had no choice.
But abuse doesn’t end there. Abuse is also the mindfuck and energy drain that happens for years and years and years after. It is the subconscious fears, the new phobias, the anxiety, the depression, and possibly, suicidal thoughts. Abuse is being scared to answer your door, answer your phone, go to the grocery store because everything reminds you of that terrible thing that happened. It is a mental prison that often becomes a physical prison. It is never knowing who to trust and being unable to relax and remain comfortable even in non-threatening scenarios because your brain, hormones, and nervous system have been rewired.
After abuse has transpired, continuing to think of yourself as this person’s victim is what continues to give them power even when they are no longer a threat. Continuing to think of yourself as beneath them is what makes you their eternal victim and makes them eternally powerful. This is exactly what an abuser wants. And that is ultimately why they abuse in the first place. This is one reason I wrote the blog post Understanding Abuse From A 5D Perspective, FYI. An abuser wants your energy forever and ever. They want you to think of them, think of the horrible things they’ve done to you, think of the ways they took your power, the ways you were forced to bow down to them. They live for this. They get off on it. Because when you reflect back to those moments, they are sent energetic food. This is what gives them fuel to keep going. They want you to be an energetic provider — a slave — your entire life.
The truth is that energy doesn’t just go away. And this is what leaves many victims feeling like a victim well after the abuse has transpired. See, energy changes, gets hidden, or gets manipulated. If no one teaches you to transmute the energy that was forced onto you, then you will live with that same terrifying, powerless energetic profile your entire life. And it will continue to make you sick and miserable. This isn’t something talk therapy can fix, though having a professional to speak with is of course a great idea. Healing abuse requires an understanding of energy.
Healing trauma is a lengthy process. My clients don’t heal lifelong trauma overnight. Though I will say this — after every single session, they emphatically thank me because they were given a new way of looking at what has happened to them, which led them to have new understandings about how to get over it, which allows for healing. I don’t offer the loveseat therapy sessions we’ve all come to know — I offer a 5th dimensional perspective on why it happened (this connects to karma and past life perpetrators), what happened to them as a result, how it connects to or created core wounds, how they’re still acting those wounds out, and how to release the energy to self-actualize. A therapist can’t offer the eternal lens of the divine but an Intuitive can.
If you are new to energy work or are interested in using energy to help you overcome abuse and trauma, the best advice I can give you is this: become extremely self-aware. Identify every single thing that triggers you on a daily basis, or all of your adaptive habits (aka “bad” habits that stem from trauma). Then connect it back to its origin. Where did it come from? Why does it bother you? Why do you do certain things? Once you know these answers (I tell you these things in an Energy Reading appointment), it becomes very easy to release the energetic chord or attachment that your subconscious mind has created to prevent the trauma from happening again. Energy (aka: intention) from the subconscious mind forms an invisible thread that gets lodged in certain parts of your body via association with the trauma. You can begin to logically connect the dots and understand what it all means. “When I feel this way emotionally, or have this thought, I feel this way physically. I felt this way physically when the trauma occurred. Therefore, I am living out past cycles”, or “This unrelated person/situation triggers me because it is the same boundary that was crossed when the abuse happened”, or, “I am choosing this unhealthy habit because it helps me prevent myself from thinking about the triggers”, or, “I subconsciously stew about the abuse every day and am therefore sending energy to my perpetrator whom I still feel has power over me”, etc.
There is a rhyme and reason to how you feel. Until you connect the dots, you will live with resentment, anger, frustration, and fear because it makes no sense and you still feel powerless. Understanding the energy and how to break the energy up is how to truly heal.