I’ve had a blog post in my draft queue for nearly two years. It’s called “The shame of being female and unvouched for”. It’s a amalgamation of the realizations I had after leaving several abusive situations, and how by and large victims lose all personal and professional credibility in becoming an “untouchable” “abused woman”; in becoming a truth teller. Whistle-blowing isn’t like what you think. No whistle-blower is ever praised until well after the fact. But first, they’re targeted. If we’ve learned anything since October 2017 when the shit hit the fan globally for celebrities and public figures, it’s this: karma always exposes itself and people always find ways to cover it up so that no one has to confront it or be seen for who and what they really are (abusers).
In my own examinations, I’ve come to find that society only allows one to be a victim in a very strict set of predetermined expectations. 1). Be utterly sad. 2). Be utterly powerless. 3). Have marks and bruises all over your body (and you better have video footage). 4). Never fight back. 5). Don’t tell anyone except professionals that you’ve been abused. If you don’t fall into each and every one of those categories, and if those around you have sometimes seen you deviate from these predetermined behaviors by exhibiting some sort of authentic personality, you’re “not” a victim. You’re a deranged exaggerator who lives for attention; you’re negative; you’re trying to bring people down; you’re mistaken. Over and over again, in conversations with my empathic clients, this has always been a common denominator: any time they have told the truth about the abuses they’ve experienced, they were told they were wrong in their assessment. The pain of the abuse isn’t all these people have to endure — they also have to live with the pain of the cognitive dissonance about what they have been through.
See, no one can vouch for a victim after she’s told the truth because she’s committed the most unforgivable sin: shaking up egos. So victims go out into the world alone with no clout or benefits and no one to say, “yeah I know her. You can trust her. She’s great. Yes, she sees the world correctly.” The cognitive dissonance she’s instilled in others makes her a bad girl. The groupthink she’s shat on makes her unstable. If she doesn’t agree with the crowd, there must be something wrong with her since everyone else has come to the same conclusion. Victims have to rebuild their perceived trustworthiness themselves and there is great shame involved in being a truly free woman. Free women are too witchy. A free woman doesn’t care whose feelings are hurt when she tells the truth because the truth stands on its own. A free woman doesn’t need the “mob“.
Of course there are many fallacies at play here. See, the ego only understands point A to point B logic. It allows for no unique situations, empathy, or discernment. “If you were abused, then you would act like this”, “if you are a victim, you should be lifeless and in the hospital”, “if you were targeted, you should do nothing in response or you’re no better than your perpetrators”, “If you were abused then why are you trying to get help from your friends? You need to call the police and see a counselor. Don’t have police reports? Then it didn’t happen”. When too many unique scenarios and details are involved in the mix, people’s brains start shutting down. They can’t handle too many variables at once. They can’t put themselves in someone else’s shoes. Even if a victim tries to connect the dots for others, how their life has been affected as a result, how they are in a worse position than before the abuse, the egos around them will not allow for new input. They will not allow themselves to connect the dots in order to learn empathy. System overload, back to ego mode. Victims who do not play along with these unrealistic, apathetic societal expectations become the problem themselves. They become disobedient.
We must ask ourselves why someone who has been victimized would not receive immediate care, support, trust, resources, and understanding. Why the systems or people who abused in the first place are not immediately corrected. The answer is simple and sad: society operates on the underlying assumption that you can not be authentic in this world and once you are, you open yourself up to loss of credibility. In other words, you must live and project the 3D paradigm and once you stop doing that, you become disobedient and deserving of punishment.
From there, we must further ask ourselves: why does the 3D system need to be upheld and what would happen if we stopped playing along? If it needs to be upheld, does that mean it is not real to begin with? Which system would we naturally fall into (aka: the truth) once the 3D collapses? What would happen if we all became disobedient? And this is where it gets juicy.
The 3 dimensional world is real, yes, but it is also little more than one big projection. It is a projection of hopes, and dreams, and wishes. But it is also a projection of an idealized world that does not actually exist. It is the 1950s cocktail party version of life where we dress in our very best, adopt a personality to entertain, lift martinis and clink glasses like there’s no tomorrow, and never ever speak about problems because what will the neighbors think?
By hiding the problems, sweeping them under the rug, and punishing the truth tellers, the 3D system is upheld. By acknowledging the problems, karma, and abuses, the 3D system collapses. And that is the war between good and evil that has been in the works for so long. Some people (narcissists) are on the side of lies and falsehoods to maintain control. Some people (empaths) are on the side of truth in order to bring about a new world paradigm. Only when we admit to the problems and fix them do we indulge truth, peace, love, acceptance, justice, equality and understanding. You will know who you are by which side you choose. You will know who others are by which side they choose.
The world is changing. If you have been treated like a disobedient victim and could never wrap your head around why no one cared or believed you, this is your answer. The subconscious belief systems at play are why. The people who implied you were disobedient are working to prevent the new world from coming about. The people who are working to support victims and change the system are bringing about a new way of living. When your karma confronts you by way of an abuse victim needing your help and support, you have the choice to dig your heels in the ground and stop progress, or you have the ability to help burgeon a new planetary system. The people who never shed their egos will not have a place in the new higher vibrational world. The choice is yours. Of course, I would encourage you to continue to be a disobedient victim.