Empathic people come to me with questions in Energy Readings. Which path should they take? What does this thing in their life mean? Were they correct in their assessment? Did they do the right thing? Is what they think they experienced really what they experienced? These kinds of queries will leave a person feeling defeated, confused, and directionless if left unanswered.
But one of the biggest questions I receive from empathic clients, by and large, is this: “am I the narcissist?” In a world where “narcissism” is a buzzword, it leaves an energetically sensitive person questioning their every intention: “I’m not perfect. Do I like to hurt people? Do I like to be the center of attention? What if I am not the empath?”
One of the unfortunate symptoms of narcissistic abuse is the abuser using emotional or mental manipulation in order to force the victim into thinking they themselves are the problem. They may outright tell you this, tell this to others, or they may insinuate you have some terrible personality flaw/disorder, which gives them permission to treat you as they do.
Please hear me when I say this: this tactic is a hallmark symptom of narcissistic abuse 99% of the time. It is rare to endure this sort of abuse and not be labeled as the problem. This serves many functions: 1. reinforcing the 3D karmic system, 2. giving the perpetrator more power and control through social dynamics and “flying monkey” abuse by proxy, 3. preventing you from ascending to your highest potential, and 4. prevents them from having any accountability for their actions. In other words, no one will believe a victim if everyone has been told the victim is not the victim.
In order to free yourself of the cognitive dissonance associated with wondering if you are in fact the narcissist in the situation, you must ask yourself these questions. Only you can answer them and the veracity is between you and your higher power. If you are 100% positive in your assessment of yourself, then you can be assured your conscience is clear.
- Do I secretly like to hurt people?
- Do I enjoy conflict?
- Do I always 100% of the time feel confident enough to speak my mind to people?
- Do I assess what could be the driving force behind someone’s behavior (ie: personal wounding)?
- Do I try to put myself in the other person’s shoes?
- Do I easily see how all things are connected by cause and effect?
- Do I rely on groupthink in order to help me determine my actions are correct?
- Do I feel I must abide by a higher power or set of higher expectations for myself, such as peace, justice, equality, honesty, and compassion?
- Do I enjoy making other people feel bad about themselves?
- Do I look forward to drama?
- Do I rally people in a group in order to put one person down?
- Do I like to remind other people of their inadequacies?
- Do I feel I will be judged by my higher self or higher power for my actions in this lifetime?
- Do I prefer there be no underlying conflict in relationships?
- Do I forgive once I understand why someone made the choice they did, or after they ask for my forgiveness?
- Do I know there is enough room for everyone to be successful?
- Do I like to see others shine, in addition to myself?
- Do I enjoy gossip or feel it provides the truth in a situation?
- Do I have to put others down to make myself feel better?
- Can I envision a world in which there is no hatred?
- Do I feel a need to hide my indiscretions?
- Do I feel the need to prove to people, coerce people, or convince people that I am not a narcissist?
- Do I constantly blameshift or hurt others first before anyone “finds me out”?
- Do I assess and re-assess a situation in order to see which information I could have missed that would lead me to the truth so that I do not make assumptions?
- Do I feel the pain of others so deeply that it begins to affect my physical or emotional health?
- Do I externalize my pain onto others in hopes that will get rid of it?
Questions 1, 2, 3, 7, 9, 10, 11, 12, 18, 19, 21, 22, 23 and 26 are narcissistic tendencies. Questions 4, 5, 6, 8, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 20, 24 and 25 are empathic tendencies that narcissists will never inherently possess — they will only project these qualities outwardly for others to see.
In these trying times, you must remember that sometimes the truth will only reside inside of your soul. There is no need to prove who you are — you are who you are. The judgment of your soul lies between you and your higher power or higher self. So long as you can go into the world confident that you do not enjoy harming others, you can be assured you are not the narcissist. This is a time of smoke and mirrors — remember this. The term narcissist will get thrown at people who are genuinely not narcissistic in order for others to elevate themselves. Say this to yourself in the mirror until it feels like truth: “I am that I am”.