I have an entire chapter dedicated to debunking the oh-so prevalent myths surrounding twin flames and soulmates in my just-released book How to Become Intuitive. The concept of twin flames is a real hot topic right now and the internet is inundated with tarot readers, psychics, blogs, videos, and other people or content promoting a twin flame-positive narrative. Twin flames, they say, are your true other half and ideal romantic partner. Soulmates, they say, are a dime a dozen and can bring you great pain.
Neither are true, as I explain in my book, and I say this having had a firsthand supernatural experience to back me up. After I had said experience — a spark-in-the-eye moment that I detail in my book — I knew what I had experienced was a soulmate recognition, and I instantly knew that another relationship I was in previously was with a twin flame. It was direct, immediate channeled information that I could not deny. As such, I scoured the internet, trying to find others who knew what this meant or could explain it to me. While I did find others admitting to having similar experiences, as well as their high level of confusion as a result, I also discovered that many people were referring to the other half of their soul as a “twin flame” rather than a soulmate.
In all honesty, it doesn’t matter much which term you use. It’s semantics, really. What matters is the meaning and intention behind the words. The reason I keep trying to convey the differences is because it is very easy to assume someone is your twin flame according to the standard definition and pursue or stay with them forever, despite the red flags. And this is a major hindrance to your spiritual growth and personal evolution because you are pursuing your own trauma and calling it love.
See, a twin flame is a representation of your personal wounding. The ages at which your chakra centers were first “stunted” or blocked become the manifestation of the ego. The more wounding, the greater the ego. This doesn’t necessarily mean you have a big ego in the traditional sense. In fact, you can have a ton of ego based on wounding but in fact think very little of yourself and have low self esteem. Or the ego can manifest as denial, doubt, fear, other insecurity, vices, and toxic thoughts about yourself or others. That means the more trauma you incur, the more your chakras will be blocked, and therefore the greater ego you will have which will keep you from seeing the truth about the dynamics of your relationships.
Your twin flame most often will posses “oppositional” wounding to yours. A “backwards reflection” as I like to call it. So, for example, an empathic man who was raised with a domineering mother may choose a domineering spouse as a result of the chakra wound (heart, third eye, sacral or others). In that case, he is in a way keeping himself safe from having to confront the wound because he is choosing the same pattern. If he were to choose a sensitive, understanding spouse, he would have to confront the mother wounding because he would not know how to accept or give love to a caring person; he only understands what love feels like when he is controlled and when he obeys via a system of judgment and punishment.
This is true for all twin flame dynamics, heterosexual or same sex, gender-regardless. See, pursuing a twin flame is akin to staying stuck in an energetic prison in which you cannot self-actualize, cannot individuate, and cannot perceive the truth. It is an ego-based relationship, even if, again, you do not have an inflated sense of self-worth. You remain stuck in your own wounding because as soon as you try to grow spiritually or personally, you irritate your twin’s wounding, which only causes more dysfunction (or abuse) within the relationship. Usually both partners are not able to grow together — or only grow in superficial ways — which means the warning to not be “unequally yoked” is accurate. Staying with a twin flame means you are choosing your own wounding and ego.