Why it’s hard for victims to forgive

Forgiveness isn’t just a reflection of the state of your heart chakra and ability to love. Some people built walls of stuff around them to keep people out. Some people build energetic walls around their heart to keep themselves from feeling anything because life has not served them much in the way of real love. Either way, it become difficult to forgive. But forgiveness is also a reflection of the state of your highest chakra, the 7th, which sits atop your head.

The 7th chakra is the energy center representing the mystical, the ethereal, and all of the knowledge you had once forgotten but received once more (if you’ve done the personal work to heal yourself and become intuitive) in your current incarnation regarding the meaning of life. This is the most difficult chakra center to unlock due to the spiritual amnesia we are subjected to while our parents, caregivers, and society reinforce the ego programming of our prescribed persona and perpetual wounding based on the wounding they carry within themselves. Unlocking this chakra means you become an ascended master, “enlightened” just like the greats (my personal favorites being Jesus Christ and the Buddha).

If you have been a victim of abuse (and really, as I ask in my book, who hasn’t on planet Earth?), it will often feel impossible to forgive. For an empathic person, this will tear at you and eat you up because it keeps you in a state of hatred, fear, betrayal, isolation, or cognitive dissonance which is not your normal frequency. Perhaps you avoid the geographical location you were first abused. Or you worry about running into your abusers while you are out and about so you seclude yourself. Or perhaps you remain locked in a mental prison, reliving the trauma through a series of never-ending flashbacks which leaves you reaching for vices to take the edge off.

Either way, it is difficult for a victim to forgive for several reasons. First, you didn’t deserve what they did to you and there is no explanation you can come to to excuse their behavior any longer. You desperately want to understand why and often there are no real answers. (Of course, as I explain in my book, abuse at its core, can only be explained and understood energetically, so understanding the metaphysical translation of your pain is essential since it makes little sense otherwise). Secondly, forgiveness means you no longer close yourself off to certain people. For a victim, this is scary because it potentially means you might offer yourself to someone who destroyed you.

This isn’t just difficult because your abuser probably doesn’t deserve your kindness, but also because it means you will have to let your guard down and they may take advantage of you again. They may do it to you all over. Your nervous system is working to prevent this from happening at all costs. Your anxiety, depression, fears and phobias are all a reflection of your body’s attempt to prevent future abuse. In order to forgive, you have to overcome your body’s own programming. This is not easy.

This doesn’t mean you should ignore red flags, let abusers back in, or offer yourself to them for more cat and mouse games. It means you create a peace within yourself to let go of the energetic walls they forced you to build, and that are holding you back. It means seeing this place for what it really is (an energetic and elitist prison system) and understanding you are not your body, and that your soul extends beyond what they have done to you. It means remembering who you were before your incarnations on Earth, before the adverse experiences, and forgiving the system that enabled the abuse to occur in the first place. It doesn’t mean forgetting, it means remembering.

Forgiveness does not mean you excuse or condone what happened to you or the person who exercised a devious or deranged power against you. It means you understand and accept the sick system we have all been unwitting participants in. It means you recognize your divinity once more in order to ascend out of the hell of the third dimensional reality in which pain is a constant. In doing so, you reclaim the power of your 7th chakra and perceive the truth about reality.