Whether you have narcissists, sociopaths, or those somewhere in between as a major presence in your life or not, it’s a good idea to get acquainted with the variations within these personality disorders so that you can avoid being fooled into their karmic energy games. These people are great at becoming who they need to be to get ahead, not who they actually are. So you may think only one personality type (such as an authority figure) would be prone to narcopathic tendencies, but truly, the school teacher as much as the soccer mom or elderly neighbor can be harboring deep pain that causes them to abuse others.
While sometimes narcs are chameleons of sorts, shifting and adapting into any people, group, or environment, they often too have very solid ego personality roles that seem to fit them best and that they maintain in order to diffuse any narrative about abuse.
Here are the types to look out for:
- The hippie. These people feign a liberal perspective on laws, societal and environmental change, and other crunchy shit. They distort important values and instead use any altruism or radical grassroots efforts as their own personal value meter.
- The religious figure. These people may be leaders of churches, temples, or other congregations and take advantage of their ego role as a “pure” “untouchable” whom either God has ordained, or cannot be second guessed because of the amount of spirituality they exude. This could include your Southern Baptist grandma as much as it could a Priest or a lay person who teaches Buddhism.
- The funny one. Humor is the best vehicle to coerce people into trusting you and letting their guard down. If they make you laugh, you trust them and relax. You begin to look up to them and dismiss the idea that someone who seems funny, happy, and upbeat could also be an abuser. They also use humor to constantly deflect the truth or send shame vibes to your subconscious mind. But instead of saying it outright, it’s veiled as a sarcastic or snarky joke.
- The smart one. These people expect everyone else to bow down to their Earthly knowledge on whatever subject matter they have absorbed. They sometimes feel the need to correct your grammar, word choice, or tell you why your experiences and feelings are flawed based on their breadth of knowledge in the subject. They are 100% unable to listen, feel, or observe what someone else needs. Another variation of this is a highly intelligent narc who feigns empathy but never actually learns about the state of their soul. The latter are the scariest because they have an amplified intelligence thanks to the ability to feign empathy.
- Mr./Mrs. Perfect. I think of two desperate, flirty drunk people at a black tie or cocktail party with this one. These people not only pretend to be perfect partners for a short time, but they feign an exclusive lifestyle that draws sexual attention, affirmation, and clout, which falsely earns your trust. If everyone else loves them, why shouldn’t you?
- The somatic/sensual. You’ve been looking for someone to understand and enjoy your sensual side with? You may find yourself a somatic narc. These people ooze a sensual appeal, are often in touch with emotions, understand soothing tone of voice, make promises about how satisfying you will find them, how gifted they are in the sexual arts and more. But deep within the sensual facade is a dark soul with loads of anger, waiting for its next submissive soul to control. This is a very sadistic energy.
- The petulant child. These are the people, when talking to, you step back for a moment and just look at them, perplexed. You are certain you’re speaking with a 58 year old man or woman but they act with the soul of a 3-year-old, or perhaps sassy 16-year-old. They have no understanding of consequences, they are often crass and selfish, and they do not know how to plan for the future. You’ll build up tons of karma dealing with these types because they have never learned any lessons and are in deep states of denial due to extreme trauma that they don’t want to remember.
- The authority figure. This one goes without saying. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
- The chameleon. These people are so good at shapehifting in whatever situation they find themselves in. It’s your uncle whose accent changes each time they live in a new state, or a dramatic change in clothing styles to fit into a clique, and especially adopting the beliefs and values of whatever community or tribe they find themselves in.
- The chauvinist or bigot. The only thing that these people believe they have over you is either your sex, your race, your age, or some other factor that is outside of your control. They will use these arbitrary designators to remind you they are superior. Ironic for them, their soul will one day have to come to terms with the fact that they have likely been every age, sex, and ethnicity they have discriminated against, in previous lifetimes.
- The stone cold killer. This is the highly advanced narc who is so good at predicting how you will react to what they will do to you. Because of this, they are masters at withdrawing all energy they send out. It’s as if their energetic field is frozen and dimmed, much like a predator secretly stalking its prey and conserving it’s energy before it pounces. You can’t get any information off of them like, perhaps, you normally would because they are so closed off and reserved. So when the narcopath attack comes, most victims are stunned.
- The cerebral. This one came from my good friend Michele at Bumped, Bruised, and Blessed on YouTube. She also studies and reports on narcissism and is a victim herself. She’s overcome all kinds of very significant life challenges and I enjoy commiserating with her. :) As Michele has talked about, these kinds of narcs aren’t necessarily smart but they do believe themselves to be superior based on their steadfast commitment to not engaging in physical pleasures. They are perhaps always on a diet (or telling you that you should be on one), perhaps they over-exercise because they’re addicted to the feeling of self-flagellation (metaphorically), abstain from sex even in loving committed relationships and look down on anyone else who does not.
- Googly eyes optimist. As with many of these types, one does not need be a narcissist to adopt one of these roles in order to fit in. The difference is that narcs use these tactics to hurt people on purpose or gain control. This type projects a false happiness by ignoring all problems and red flags. They’re always smiling and cheerful but it’s not because of genuine happiness. It’s because they live in a fantasy land. They take nothing seriously and when important truthful topics are brought up, they may actually stop talking to you or get angry at you for talking about something based on reality or how people are suffering. They’ll tell you you’re negative or you’re a problem for telling the truth.
- The tax collector. These people may or may not care about money but they do know every “error” (every time you stood up for yourself or thought for yourself) you’ve ever made and been keeping record. One day you will owe them, big.
- The penny pincher. These people are so adverse to spending money that they’ll punish their victim for normal, reasonable purchases. They also use money to shame or intimidate and their victims often forgo medical treatments or other necessary purchases because their abuser will not like it.
- The cool one. They’re cool so you trust them and so do others. That simple.
I’ll keep adding to this list. Hope it helps for now.