How and why narcissists construct false outcomes
I mentioned in another blog post how victims (of any form of abuse) are almost always targeted by their abusers in ways that would sound absolutely inane to anyone who hasn’t been through it.
I gave the example of the woman who worked for Uber corporate and how, after shutting down her boss’s overt sexual advances and reporting it to HR only to be gaslighted, she suspected she was being followed. Later in DMs with her new boss, he revealed he had put a stop to those practices, thus indirectly confirming they had in fact done that — at least to someone. (Or that’s the gist as I remember her explaining it).
This woman had the truth admitted to her but usually, victims aren’t so lucky. Usually victims try to explain the insanity to others only to be called crazy themselves. “That is such a far fetched conspiracy theory, you must be schizophrenic. Geez, you really are a problem, aren’t you? It’s no wonder that person treated you like shit. You deserved it.”
Additionally, narcissists will almost always change the outcome of a situation in order to prevent you from confirming your intuitive instinct as correct. The woman above got direct confirmation. You may just have yourself and the divine to rely on.
See, a narc is trying to prevent you from connecting the dots about what they’re up to. If you saw that they didn’t have good intentions and they manufacture drama on purpose, you’d see this existence for what it really is.
The technique they use often requires causing something to go awry, or needing your attention or controlling you, in order to distract and detract from what is really going on. This means they must construct some sort of change in plans or change of course just as they’re about to possibly be exposed by your intuitive abilities.
Maybe in the moment, you don’t sense any negative outcome based on what they’re doing so you go along with it. Maybe the predator is suddenly nice instead of cruel to you so you feel ashamed that you ever doubted them in the first place. You feel that hard to come by human+divine emotions of, ahem, empathy and you think, “Why am I being so hard on them? I feel bad.” Snap, you go into a shame response of doubt/cognitive dissonance and dissociation, drop the intuitive thread completely and doubt yourself or feel ashamed for noticing any future red flags.
The false outcome is an essential part of this process because it lulls you back into doubting your intuition. You likely would have confirmed your suspicion if they had not altered their normal behavior.