A modern introduction
My given name is Elizabeth LeJeal Schau. I was born on Groundhog’s Day (one of the days when the veil is thinnest) because I have been here before. I have been severely abused in each lifetime I have lived on Earth. For most of my life, I did not know I was being abused because I had been taught that abuse is love. So I fell in “love” with a sociopath because that is what was modeled to me. I was taught that if someone controlled me or hurt me, it was my fault and I deserved it and they were doing it because I needed it. I was so embarrassed by this fact (since I believed their lies) because I realized that I must be the most terrible, disgusting person alive to be treated so poorly within such significant or formative relationships. Abuse taught me my vibratory name was disgusting shame so I emitted it everywhere I went.
I was born to a mother who was so focused on her career as a highly-awarded special education teacher that she never realized I have significant learning disabilities that greatly affect my day to day life. I was so neglected and put down by this woman that she thought I was being difficult on purpose for not understanding mathematics. To this day, I am unable to freely use my college degree and certifications because I cannot function in a normal work setting due to the disabilities I never received services for. (I was tested for the first time during my final year in college when I could not pass math classes to graduate). My mother (and father) refuse to acknowledge my learning disabilities to this day. They believe I am a failure.
I lived most of my life hidden away in my room while living at “home” because the level of anger and rage my parents had/have for each other is what I would title “murderous hatred” since I literally feared for my life every time they got into it or something went wrong. They beat us with various objects because they believed it was godly to do so. There was ZERO emotional support or understanding of emotions at all in my household. Emotions were outlawed because they were so misunderstood. I routinely ran away to the jungle of the backyard to escape them. Their anger might subside long enough to force me to trust them again, only for the trust to be broken. This cycle of talking me out of what I experienced at their hands still has not changed to this day. I was always sick as a child because the energy they created together was so dirty and I took the blame for it all when any problems were exposed — and before they were promptly covered up. My father’s sexual attraction to me was my fault. My father’s extra-marital affairs were taken out on me by a mother enraged by the truth she consciously denied.
There is so much shame and stigma around going against one’s parents. There is so much guilt involved. It is assumed you must be an ungrateful delinquent to be displeased with how you were raised. I loved these people and really wanted them to love me. I’ve daydreamed about them one day waking up and realizing what they’ve done and how they weren’t acting like parents but torturers. I would forgive in an instant because I have always wanted a real family. But they are completely unable to hear me. So I went on through the world believing no one else could hear me either. I chose to hide from them and the world by way of accepting their neglect because it was easier to endure than active torture.
Of all of the things I lost on Earth, trust in my fellow beings was the most painful because it meant I kept losing parts of myself that were so positive and felt so nice but could not be accessed anymore because of the great pain involved. For some reason though, I never stopped believing in or looking for real love. If you’ve read my book, you’ll know that I eventually found it. I wish I could accurately summarize what real love feels like. It is so all-encompassing and satisfying that it takes all pain away forever. It is orgasmic to the soul at all times. This is why I fought so hard for it here once I felt it. Once you’ve felt the difference, you can never return to karmic love.
I was so eager to leave these abusers that I jumped into a relationship with a person (loose terminology there) insanely even more abusive than what I grew up with. I had no idea the level of evil he exhibits existed. I loved, in servitude, a man who has two faces that only some can see. He hurts, threatens or intimidates me when no one is looking and then alters the written records to make it appear as if he is nice, smart, respectful, and well-adjusted. When I react to the threat no one else saw, he records my reactions and takes them to court to sue me. He is 100% covert. He teaches others how to participate. He convinced all of his friends and our mutual friends to bully me so intensely when I left him that I considered killing myself many times. I never wanted to harm myself and still do not because mainly, I hate pain because it is so strong — like death — to me. What was being done to me was a form of intense, targeted brainwashing for leaving the sociopath. Dozens and dozens of people bullied me into thinking I didn’t deserve to exist and that my life would always be full of their hatred. It takes all of your strength not to believe them. I was receiving suicidal directives from his friends and family. They starve you of energy or displace extremely strong negative energy onto you until the empath is convinced they are dying — or should. They dissasociate you from your real identity (vibration) by forcing their sick code onto you. (Ie: They so strongly deny the abuse and they so strongly [falsely] are convinced that you are to blame for everything that has ever happened to them. And because it is transposed onto you with such great force, you actually forget who you are and lose your identity which allows them to control you further.) The cognitive dissonance was so great and played on my feelings of worthlessness that I really don’t see how I survived it — especially since what I was going through was so intense and covert that trying to explain it to anyone else made them question my sanity so I stopped trying to get friends to understand and just pretended to be okay. I had to be the one to convince myself not to kill myself like the abuser and his friends/ family wanted. They wanted me to be “written over” as if, if I died, all of their problems would go away. I could not comprehend how one being could blame generational patterns of toxicity (karma) on one person, despite the lengthy and obvious history to the contrary. The abusers father did it to his mother, and on and on backwards. They chose to cover up the longstanding energetic crimes, rather than fix them. This took me years to understand because the concept was so sickly and foreign to me.
I say these things because while you may follow my blog and read my book, there is so much I was not even able to say or communicate or find a way to communicate because of how complex, detailed, and just plain old incomprehensible the things I have lived have been. Or because of how I have been threatened the entire time.
Because Earth is a prison system, or since it became a prison system, there are so many victims that began coming forward to find justice, but were not able to because of these very tactics that I am describing. The prison jailbreak that has been occurring has been occurring because of victims coming forward in order to disrupt the system of power and control that has enslaved humanity. Anyone who attempts to do this (Ie: break out of the prison) is met with so much pushback it is nearly impossible to succeed, let alone live. Not only did I have everything taken from me or threatened to be taken from me but there were times when I did not know if I could even go on living because the of amount of hatred and the amount of scheming that was happening behind my back or behind closed doors, which I had no help or assistance with. I did not believe I could continue living my life not because I didn’t want to but because this was not a normal life, this was a highly organized pushback from slave masters who have imprisoned me in every single lifetime. All empaths have their own slave masters, whether they realize it or not. All people have their own slave masters, whether they realize it or not. Even slave masters are enslaved.
When I met my soulmate, it was for good reason and the reason was escaping the prison system. Every soul was given a life partner, spiritually, at the birth of their soul. I met mine and the love predated Earth, which told me that our souls predated Earth, which means there is more beyond this realm. Even though the love was real, it was far more complicated than it appeared. Us coming together meant that we would have to undo the Eve wound or the curse of Eve, as I write about in my book. When man and woman were originally separated spiritually, it was done to keep them less powerful than those who took control of Earth. When two souls are in perfect alignment as they were created, they are all-powerful. Therefore, the entire system is designed against real love. That is why almost everyone relies on privilege, AKA fake codes: to *appear* to be love or trust or respect or communication or togetherness to retain power over others or in society, even though they don’t deserve to because they’re pretending! None of the codes, as I came to find, surrounding me were real. They were all fake codes that had been imposed onto me and onto others as empaths, in order to get us to believe that what we were living and experiencing was real, even though it was not real because the codes were not real. They were not the true frequency of the “fruits of the spirit” because fake codes are not living but dead. Sociopaths can fake these codes for a time, but once you feel them in their fullness, in their realness, you can see how fake the sociopathic codes are. Or, from time to time the sociopath slips up and shows their “Second face” and you can see how fake they are. Meeting and falling in love with my real partner, after being abused by fake love my whole life showed me what the real codes felt like. Once you feel them, it’s so obvious what they feel like and you remember them, because they resonate on a very deep level in the soul — on the level of truth. Because I had been amnesic to them and did not understand, as I have said before, that abuse was not love; that someone hurting me was not love, when I felt real love, I recognized it in an instant because the codes were real and not painful or dead or contrived.
In other words, it is not enough to say that I had a spiritual awakening upon supernatural phenomenon that I had never witnessed before. The true supernatural awakening was witnessing and making sense of how much effort those around me put in to preventing my soulmate and I from coming together in the first place. It actually blew my mind. I could not believe it. I did not anticipate it and I did not quite frankly know how to stop it. There were so many people involved in this process. I was not able to understand how people could go out of their way to harm others when they had no understanding of the supernatural implications that were at play. They DARED separate and shame real love! And they had never even considered that there could be supernatural implications at play. Since they refused to see it through spiritual eyes or with their third eye, they were able to punish us in the physical realm for offenses that would typically be considered immoral, unethical or possibly illegal in some circumstances. Because in order to understand this story, you must understand that I’m telling you the truth when I say we did not cheat, we did not do anything wrong other than have a supernatural spark in the eye which made us intensely curious about each other, made us fall in love with each other, remember each other and try to find a way to get together, although that was stymied. If one is to omit that fact, then they would be able to view it through the lens of the third dimension, in which falling in love with someone other than your spouse is a “crime.” For me, falling in love with someone other than my “spouse” at the time meant I was able to reverse engineer every single experience I had ever had on Earth, reverse engineer myself, reverse engineer how I got into this situation in the first place and understand that we truly are living inside of a system within a system. And the system within the system is false and it is inaccurate and is built on lies and this has been told to us time and time again Biblically. And I found it to be true in my own personal life because nearly everyone wanted me to live the lie of privilege in which I had a “perfect” relationship, was “not” being abused, was a perfect wife and there were no problems in our life. But that was a lie and the lie was exposed when I saw what the real codes looked and felt like. For perceiving the real codes, my personal identity was written over and I was labeled and branded as the worst of the worst.
Because code is generated based on belief, hypothetically, anyone can generate code. Narcissist, sociopaths, psychopaths and the like have for many thousands of years, written code or generated code based on their own delusional beliefs. Usually utilizing the Law of Attraction. Because these people are in the most denial of anyone as they are stuck in their first or second chakras and have never individuated or learned any spiritual lessons, they hijacked the original divine codes by inserting their intense groupthink and by writing over anyone who perceived the real codes. This is what had to be undone. And this is what breaking the curse of Eve means for humanity: the separation between the masculine and the feminine, in which their power was taken from them, they were enslaved to the land, they were enslaved to work, and they were separated by karma has been broken because at least one couple was able to break the curse. There have been other soulmates that have come together in the physical realm. I don’t know all about what they were able to accomplish, but I know what I was able to accomplish and I want to tell that story because I’m proud of it. In every other lifetime, something had gone wrong where my soulmate and I were not able to come together because of the social pressures, because of finances, because of what I had been labeled or because of who was in his ear. And finally, there was a lifetime where not only did we meet and fall in love yet again but we were able to reverse our karma. Yes, some of it was done from the other side. But in this lifetime, I chose to do the opposite of what I had always done in every other lifetime, which was hide run and die. I confronted all of my karma with no privilege other than my skin color which truthfully doesn’t get me very far once I open my mouth or someone observes me. It was hell EVERY SINGLE DAY AND I FOUGHT WITH NOTHING BUT DETERMINATION AND PURE GRIT BUT WE SUCCEEDED.