Here’s why you’re the empath and not the narcissist — quiz

3D, 5D, abuse, ascension, ego, empath, intuition, mind-body, narcissism, relationships, stress

Empathic people come to me with questions in Energy Readings. Which path should they take? What does this thing in their life mean? Were they correct in their assessment? Did they do the right thing? Is what they think they experienced really what they experienced? These kinds of queries will leave a person feeling defeated, confused, and directionless if left unanswered.

But one of the biggest questions I receive from empathic clients, by and large, is this: “am I the narcissist?” In a world where “narcissism” is a buzzword, it leaves an energetically sensitive person questioning their every intention: “I’m not perfect. Do I like to hurt people? Do I like to be the center of attention? What if I am not the empath?”

One of the unfortunate symptoms of narcissistic abuse is the abuser using emotional or mental manipulation in order to force the victim into thinking they themselves are the problem. They may outright tell you this, tell this to others, or they may insinuate you have some terrible personality flaw/disorder, which gives them permission to treat you as they do.

Please hear me when I say this: this tactic is a hallmark symptom of narcissistic abuse 99% of the time. It is rare to endure this sort of abuse and not be labeled as the problem. This serves many functions: 1. reinforcing the 3D karmic system, 2. giving the perpetrator more power and control through social dynamics and “flying monkey” abuse by proxy, 3. preventing you from ascending to your highest potential, and 4. prevents them from having any accountability for their actions. In other words, no one will believe a victim if everyone has been told the victim is not the victim.

In order to free yourself of the cognitive dissonance associated with wondering if you are in fact the narcissist in the situation, you must ask yourself these questions. Only you can answer them and the veracity is between you and your higher power. If you are 100% positive in your assessment of yourself, then you can be assured your conscience is clear.

  1. Do I secretly like to hurt people?
  2. Do I enjoy conflict?
  3. Do I always 100% of the time feel confident enough to speak my mind to people?
  4. Do I assess what could be the driving force behind someone’s behavior (ie: personal wounding)?
  5. Do I try to put myself in the other person’s shoes?
  6. Do I easily see how all things are connected by cause and effect?
  7. Do I rely on groupthink in order to help me determine my actions are correct?
  8. Do I feel I must abide by a higher power or set of higher expectations for myself, such as peace, justice, equality, honesty, and compassion?
  9. Do I enjoy making other people feel bad about themselves?
  10. Do I look forward to drama?
  11. Do I rally people in a group in order to put one person down?
  12. Do I like to remind other people of their inadequacies?
  13. Do I feel I will be judged by my higher self or higher power for my actions in this lifetime?
  14. Do I prefer there be no underlying conflict in relationships?
  15. Do I forgive once I understand why someone made the choice they did, or after they ask for my forgiveness?
  16. Do I know there is enough room for everyone to be successful?
  17. Do I like to see others shine, in addition to myself?
  18. Do I enjoy gossip or feel it provides the truth in a situation?
  19. Do I have to put others down to make myself feel better?
  20. Can I envision a world in which there is no hatred?
  21. Do I feel a need to hide my indiscretions?
  22. Do I feel the need to prove to people, coerce people, or convince people that I am not a narcissist?
  23. Do I constantly blameshift or hurt others first before anyone “finds me out”?
  24. Do I assess and re-assess a situation in order to see which information I could have missed that would lead me to the truth so that I do not make assumptions?
  25. Do I feel the pain of others so deeply that it begins to affect my physical or emotional health?
  26. Do I externalize my pain onto others in hopes that will get rid of it?

Questions 1, 2, 3, 7, 9, 10, 11, 12, 18, 19, 21, 22, 23 and 26 are narcissistic tendencies. Questions 4, 5, 6, 8, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 20, 24 and 25 are empathic tendencies that narcissists will never inherently possess — they will only project these qualities outwardly for others to see.

In these trying times, you must remember that sometimes the truth will only reside inside of your soul. There is no need to prove who you are — you are who you are. The judgment of your soul lies between you and your higher power or higher self. So long as you can go into the world confident that you do not enjoy harming others, you can be assured you are not the narcissist. This is a time of smoke and mirrors — remember this. The term narcissist will get thrown at people who are genuinely not narcissistic in order for others to elevate themselves. Say this to yourself in the mirror until it feels like truth: “I am that I am”.


Redefining what it means to be an empath

3D, 5D, abuse, ascension, ego, empath, intuition, narcissism

Weak, quiet, meek. Used, abused. A lone wolf, a stray puppy. A wanderer without a tribe. A soul that has been drained. A spark that has dimmed. A basketcase. Too emotional. Look into the face of an empath who has never known their power or remembered where they come from and this might be all you see. This is all society has been taught to see. “Some people are strong and some people are weak.” — true monkey brain survival of the fittest mentality.

Real power is what is not said or spoken. It is the soul vibration of a person still fighting for life in a world that has made a point to tell it it should just lie down and surrender already. Still, empaths try to do good. Still, they try to help others. Still, they search for real love.

The world has never known a collective of awakened empathic people. I don’t mean a small group, or clusters here and there. I mean by the thousands and hundreds of thousands. Empaths have come to us as the solitary revolutionary. The one-of-a-kind artist. The nurturer who slaves alone in her home and is never thanked. The one who is always overlooked, spoken over, and mistaken for the wallpaper. The world is used to us only in small doses and singular missions, always rescinding our power at the slightest push back. Or sacrificing our very lives for our cause. The world has never seen who we are when we are not in solitude and servitude.

As an empath, you know you lead two lives. There is the you that you have come to play so that you are appreciated from a distance, blending in, always anticipating someone else’s next need. Always caring and listening and offering what you can while you have it. Feeling too much for any one person to bear, and perhaps, eventually avoiding things that make you feel, altogether.

But deep inside of you is another you. A you that knows her power but feels the pain of never having accessed it. The chasm between these two places is so wretchedly deep and uncomfortable that you hate to think about it. You are ashamed. You know how good you are at that thing, how adept you are to create positive change, to enact solutions, to do things in a different functional way. You have always fantasized about putting your foot down but never have. Instead, you lie awake at night thinking of the hundreds of ways your soul was overlooked and stomped on during the course of this day and how you wish you had a sharp comeback when you needed it. “How could I have let them do that to me?” you ask yourself until your body is so full of anxious static that you cannot shake it off.

But you have seen what happens when you have asserted yourself in the past. No one heard you yet they still punished you. “Such a bad girl to think you have a say in this” they told you. “Go back to the kitchen where you belong” they said. “You don’t have enough experience”, “you’re too sensitive”, “this isn’t what you’re good at”.

If we continue to allow the opposition (narcissists) to tell us who we are and who we will be, we will never access our true nature. If we allow them to define what it means to be empathic in the first place, we will always lose the battle. They will always tell you that you are a servant and they are the king. They will always demand you be selfless and scared. They will tell you that the only one who can be powerful is them. You have spent so much time trying not to be seen as a narcissist. You don’t want to be anything like them. But do you want to be yourself?

We must redefine what it means to be an empath. It is not meekness. It is no longer self-sacrifice until you are blue in the face or six feet under. It is not playing the part of a high-vibe lover of all and ignoring problems because everyone else does too. It is matching the opposition, wit for wit, head to head, eye to eye. You are their equal and so much more. You just don’t know it.

When an empathic person flips every preconceived notion of what it means to be empathic on its head, all hell will break loose. “You can’t be powerful! That must mean you’re self-absorbed.” “You can’t be seen! That must mean you’re egotistical.” “You can’t have an opinion! You’re not perfect!” “You can’t fight back! That must mean you love war over peace.” “You have no right to see my ego! Look at yours!” How long will you live their silly double standards just to avoid their judgment? They will speak ill of you anyway, and take your power while doing it.

Do you care how a narcissist will feel about you more than how you feel about yourself? Will you remain powerless forever just so they will continue to pretend to like you? Going forward, you must redefine what it means to be you, fully in your power. What an empath used to look like is no longer what we look like. At least, not once you’ve awakened.

The new empath looks like this:

  • Powerful
  • Discerning (utilizing your third eye)
  • Judging (you are allowed to make judgments about right and wrong because you operate from universal truths, unlike narcissists. Judge the behavior, not the person and do not gossip or hate)
  • A teacher of others
  • An outspoken advocate of the underdog
  • Fearless in their pursuit of good
  • Spirituality and metaphysically in touch with the divine and its messages
  • Someone who never says yes to evil — no matter the consequences
  • Someone who always puts their foot down when it comes to right and wrong
  • Someone who shines a light on evil
  • A protector of the innocent and vulnerable
  • A public figure who influences people
  • Someone with a dynamic, magnetic aura
  • Someone who openly engages in soulful conversation for the benefit of others
  • Someone who swiftly removes low vibes from their life
  • Someone who is not taken for granted or taken advantage of
  • Someone who acts rather than just thinking
  • Someone who trusts themselves explicitly
  • Someone who pursues 5th dimensional values and timelines
  • Someone with serious boundaries
  • Someone who is seen and openly shares their story in order to reflect the ascension journey back to others
  • Someone who masters the 3D realm, rather than being controlled or overwhelmed by it
  • Someone who goes into battle when necessary and is not afraid of conflict
  • Someone who purposefully creates alliances that work to support progress, equality, peace, knowledge, and justice
  • Someone who studies and understands how the opposition works in order to overcome the tactics
  • Someone who can manifest as well as alter lower vibrational energies into positive ones
  • Someone who is not ashamed of the truth
  • Someone who lives with no regrets because they always do the best they can
  • Someone who sees facades for what they really are
  • Someone who takes care of themselves first because they cannot pour from an empty cup
  • Someone who is not afraid of the ego of others and will confront them if necessary
  • Someone who understands their spiritual lineage

You are the new empath. 

The disobedient victims are bringing about the new world

3D, 5D, abuse, ascension, ego, empath, karma, narcissism, relationships, stress

I’ve had a blog post in my draft queue for nearly two years. It’s called “The shame of being female and unvouched for”. It’s a amalgamation of the realizations I had after leaving several abusive situations, and how by and large victims lose all personal and professional credibility in becoming an “untouchable” “abused woman”; in becoming a truth teller. Whistle-blowing isn’t like what you think. No whistle-blower is ever praised until well after the fact. But first, they’re targeted. If we’ve learned anything since October 2017 when the shit hit the fan globally for celebrities and public figures, it’s this: karma always exposes itself and people always find ways to cover it up so that no one has to confront it or be seen for who and what they really are (abusers).  

In my own examinations, I’ve come to find that society only allows one to be a victim in a very strict set of predetermined expectations. 1). Be utterly sad. 2). Be utterly powerless. 3). Have marks and bruises all over your body (and you better have video footage). 4). Never fight back. 5). Don’t tell anyone except professionals that you’ve been abused. If you don’t fall into each and every one of those categories, and if those around you have sometimes seen you deviate from these predetermined behaviors by exhibiting some sort of authentic personality, you’re “not” a victim. You’re a deranged exaggerator who lives for attention; you’re negative; you’re trying to bring people down; you’re mistaken. Over and over again, in conversations with my empathic clients, this has always been a common denominator: any time they have told the truth about the abuses they’ve experienced, they were told they were wrong in their assessment. The pain of the abuse isn’t all these people have to endure — they also have to live with the pain of the cognitive dissonance about what they have been through. 

See, no one can vouch for a victim after she’s told the truth because she’s committed the most unforgivable sin: shaking up egos. So victims go out into the world alone with no clout or benefits and no one to say, “yeah I know her. You can trust her. She’s great. Yes, she sees the world correctly.” The cognitive dissonance she’s instilled in others makes her a bad girl. The groupthink she’s shat on makes her unstable. If she doesn’t agree with the crowd, there must be something wrong with her since everyone else has come to the same conclusion. Victims have to rebuild their perceived trustworthiness themselves and there is great shame involved in being a truly free woman. Free women are too witchy. A free woman doesn’t care whose feelings are hurt when she tells the truth because the truth stands on its own. A free woman doesn’t need the “mob“. 

Of course there are many fallacies at play here. See, the ego only understands point A to point B logic. It allows for no unique situations, empathy, or discernment. “If you were abused, then you would act like this”, “if you are a victim, you should be lifeless and in the hospital”, “if you were targeted, you should do nothing in response or you’re no better than your perpetrators”, “If you were abused then why are you trying to get help from your friends? You need to call the police and see a counselor. Don’t have police reports? Then it didn’t happen”. When too many unique scenarios and details are involved in the mix, people’s brains start shutting down. They can’t handle too many variables at once. They can’t put themselves in someone else’s shoes. Even if a victim tries to connect the dots for others, how their life has been affected as a result, how they are in a worse position than before the abuse, the egos around them will not allow for new input. They will not allow themselves to connect the dots in order to learn empathy. System overload, back to ego mode. Victims who do not play along with these unrealistic, apathetic societal expectations become the problem themselves. They become disobedient. 

We must ask ourselves why someone who has been victimized would not receive immediate care, support, trust, resources, and understanding. Why the systems or people who abused in the first place are not immediately corrected. The answer is simple and sad: society operates on the underlying assumption that you can not be authentic in this world and once you are, you open yourself up to loss of credibility. In other words, you must live and project the 3D paradigm and once you stop doing that, you become disobedient and deserving of punishment. 

From there, we must further ask ourselves: why does the 3D system need to be upheld and what would happen if we stopped playing along? If it needs to be upheld, does that mean it is not real to begin with? Which system would we naturally fall into (aka: the truth) once the 3D collapses? What would happen if we all became disobedient? And this is where it gets juicy. 

The 3 dimensional world is real, yes, but it is also little more than one big projection. It is a projection of hopes, and dreams, and wishes. But it is also a projection of an idealized world that does not actually exist. It is the 1950s cocktail party version of life where we dress in our very best, adopt a personality to entertain, lift martinis and clink glasses like there’s no tomorrow, and never ever speak about problems because what will the neighbors think?

By hiding the problems, sweeping them under the rug, and punishing the truth tellers, the 3D system is upheld. By acknowledging the problems, karma, and abuses, the 3D system collapses. And that is the war between good and evil that has been in the works for so long. Some people (narcissists) are on the side of lies and falsehoods to maintain control. Some people (empaths) are on the side of truth in order to bring about a new world paradigm. Only when we admit to the problems and fix them do we indulge truth, peace, love, acceptance, justice, equality and understanding. You will know who you are by which side you choose. You will know who others are by which side they choose. 

The world is changing. If you have been treated like a disobedient victim and could never wrap your head around why no one cared or believed you, this is your answer. The subconscious belief systems at play are why. The people who implied you were disobedient are working to prevent the new world from coming about. The people who are working to support victims and change the system are bringing about a new way of living. When your karma confronts you by way of an abuse victim needing your help and support, you have the choice to dig your heels in the ground and stop progress, or you have the ability to help burgeon a new planetary system. The people who never shed their egos will not have a place in the new higher vibrational world. The choice is yours. Of course, I would encourage you to continue to be a disobedient victim.