Eve is the prototypical empath/intuitive in the Judeo-Christian religious texts and we can learn much from her experience. The Temptation of Eve, as told in Genesis, sets the tone for all intuitives and is embedded into the subconsciousness (or, collective unconscious – take your pick) of many. While some consider it fact, others allegory, and still others the product of imagination, I believe, like all religious texts or mythological stories, we can learn from it much about how to navigate the current state of affairs and why we feel, think, or act the way that we do. This is one interpretation, but know there are many.
The story begins with God outlining firm commandments for man and woman in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve obey what God has told them, including which trees to eat from — all but one in the middle of the garden. Then a serpent comes to Eve in Genesis 3:4-5 and encourages her to eat from the forbidden tree: “You will not surely die. For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” The serpent encourages Eve to think for herself and plants seeds of doubt in her mind: Why wouldn’t God allow you to eat from the tree of good and evil? Why wouldn’t God allow you to see the truth? Why would a loving god keep you blind?
Eve begins to question this herself. Why wouldn’t an all-knowing and all-loving god allow his creation to see things clearly for what they really are? Why isn’t Eve allowed to fully access her own decision making skills? Why can’t Eve be powerful? In Genesis 3:6 we see Eve’s thought process: “So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate.” Eve took a hint, questioned the higher authority and made a decision for herself because she wanted to see the truth. She wanted to learn cause and effect, she wanted to see things from a different perspective. She wanted to be free to fully embrace the experience — without rules.
Eve also gave fruit from the tree to her husband, Adam, and then he blames her for their error. It’s interesting that only Eve is required to engage in critical thinking skills, not Adam. (Remember my last blog where I spoke about the “Mother” archetypes putting up with bad behavior from the “Youth” archetypes because we’re scared to force them to grow up?). Eve knows she broke a law but if the law is unjust should one follow it? And should she be punished for allowing others to question the unjust laws? Adam surely could have said, “No, I don’t wish to break this commandment with you.” Rather, Adam blindly follows and is made out to be a bit of a dunce while Eve is painted as a premeditated temptress who should have known better. The man blames the woman’s personal decision making power (aka: intuition) and the woman blames the serpent for her desire to experience her intuition. It was truly a case of “I don’t know why I trusted my gut. I feel so ashamed for not obeying. My intuition made me do it”.
As a result of Eve’s choice to discover, explore, and learn, she is punished — quite severely with no chance of forgiveness. Genesis 3:13-19 goes on to say,
“And the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”
The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
So the Lord God said to the serpent:
“Because you have done this,
You are cursed more than all cattle,
And more than every beast of the field;
On your belly you shall go,
And you shall eat dust
All the days of your life.
And I will put enmity
Between you and the woman,
And between your seed and her Seed;
He shall bruise your head,
And you shall bruise His heel.”
To the woman He said:
“I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception;
In pain you shall bring forth children;
Your desire shall be for your husband,
And he shall rule over you.”
“Then to Adam He said, “Because you have heeded the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree of which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat of it’:
“Cursed is the ground for your sake;
In toil you shall eat of it
All the days of your life.
Both thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you,
And you shall eat the herb of the field.
In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread
Till you return to the ground,
For out of it you were taken;
For dust you are,
And to dust you shall return.”
The serpent is the representation of intuition. What God says to the serpent as he curses it is especially significant. God says that because the serpent offered Eve a choice that he should be distanced from woman. It is this distance that points to the loss of matrilineal intuition. It is no longer inherited or passed down; we must learn it ourselves despite great pain and consequential punishment.
Intuition is learned through observation, choice, and the resulting cause and effect. (If you were born empathic, there’s a good chance you’re naturally intuitive, though you can greatly refine this skill by learning your life lessons.) If we understand that we have a right to have experiences in life and learn from them, we learn the principle of cause and effect. “If I do this, that happens”, “when this happens, I feel this way”. If we don’t know we even have a choice in the matter, we don’t have experiences — or don’t have the right experiences — and therefore we don’t learn how to become intuitive. It is that simple.
Women (and men’s) natural ability to engage in this kind of learning cycle is severely thwarted by the left-brained patriarchal system. There are unspoken rules we must follow in order to be successful in life: look good, act nice, talk sweet, don’t rock the boat, don’t usurp anyone’s power, don’t get messy. For many, their lives are planned out well before they have a decision in the matter and life starts a trajectory course to become the closest thing to whatever our family, friends, peers, or colleagues deem worthy. We can choose these in order to be successful, or we can choose ourselves against the odds.
We tend to become very ashamed when we explore, experiment, live freely, or trust ourselves and it goes wrong. We can be blamed, scapegoated, mocked and shamed. “I told you that would never work out”, “I knew that was a pipe dream” we will be told. Then, if we have an experience that ends up being traumatic and we choose to speak out, we are often dissected and analyzed as though we cannot be trusted — as though we are guilty for having the experience. What we are seeing with the #MeToo movement is a reflection of this original Eve wound. If you think for yourself, you risk punishment. If your experience goes terribly wrong, it’s all your fault. If you choose to speak up against injustice, you will be punished.
In the story of the Temptation of Eve, God is saying that Eve does not have permission to live an experiential life. He did not approve of her unintentional power play. As a result, Eve is punished with pain — literal physical pain in the form of childbirth — but also spiritual pain in that she will seek good energy from her spouse but not be able to see it reciprocated, and she will not be able to access the greater knowledge even though she is now aware it exists. Her punishment for questioning and experiencing is servitude, pain, and disconnect. It will be a life of pretending despite the knowing.
Yes it sounds archaic, but how many women would describe their marital relationships like this to this day? Many of the women I know and have worked with secretly feel this way even if they pretend things are fine or fair. Women seek the affirmation and desire of their spouses within the patriarchal system even if they are feminists. It is because we have been told, “if you do this and don’t do that, you will be happy.” “If you work to please me and ignore the real stirrings of your soul, you will be happy.” It is only when we question why we are in this system to begin with that we can see the system will never bring us peace or joy.
The woman withdrawals because her spouse cannot intuit her needs, perhaps even though she can intuit his — or vice versa. She gets jealous when she sees him looking at other women and it is as though he is seeking someone or something that she will never be. Why does he see through me, she wonders. She quiets her intuitive abilities altogether because she seeks to get her husband’s love through the loops of patriarchy. She becomes more soft, more or less opinionated, more “done up”, and takes an interest in things she doesn’t really enjoy — or on the other extreme, she becomes withdrawn and resentful to try to get her needs met. Either way she works within this system, she cannot seem to quantify what she wants, why she misses it, or why she cannot get it no matter how “acceptable” she becomes.
She may seek the counsel of older women in her life only to have the same tired talking points reflected back to her: “what were you wearing?”, “why did you make him mad?”, “you shouldn’t have been there to begin with”, “but you’re not perfect so how can you be a victim?” Or perhaps you turn to a loved one to reveal abuse. They may choose the easy road and ignore your cries for help in lieu of upholding the family structure they don’t want to see fall apart. “They would never do such a thing; you are lying” you may be told.
I will say it again: just because someone is older or more accomplished does not mean they have undergone the life lessons which gives them character and a strong intuitive sense for right and wrong. It is why we are seeing friends and family turn against each other as problems arise in life and in the global political sphere. All that matters is how much soul work you have done and the masks are being lifted so everyone can get a glimpse.
The most important thing to remember is we cannot win within the toxic masculine system. There is no real way to get emotional needs met, have truly liberating experiences, learn what we want to, become who we want to, or make things fair while the system is still present. It only perpetuates victim blaming and shaming and a loss of feminine intuitive abilities. If you naturally feel guilty or have a shame complex, please know it is not you — it is the system. This is a deep wound many carry that originates long ago but is still societally acted out to this day. The only way to beat it is to not participate in the system. You are not Eve and you don’t deserve to be punished.
In all honesty, I have been putting off this topic for quite some time. It’s not that it’s unimportant — in fact, I know we are living in a time where it is of great importance. The uptick in interest of narcissism is truly a sign of the times.
Everywhere you look, people are waking up to the fact that they have been abused, that they are empaths who have attracted toxic people over and over again to their detriment, and by and large, humanity does not want to continue the cycles of abuse of power or manipulation and control for the next generation. Humans of planet earth are crying out for peace and harmony and there are real societal changes working to get us there.
“How to spot a narcissist” lists are out there everywhere on the internet. I’ve read many and been sorely disappointed. I also see people diagnosing each other at the drop of a hat: they somehow “wrong” you and suddenly they’re a narcissist. I have had close relationships with people who had an elementary understanding of psychology or have a Bachelor’s degree in psychology which, they believe, gives them permission to diagnose anyone and everyone — and then gossip about their “findings”. It is divisive and creates divided energy which is not conducive to creating inner or outer peace. And this is the very reason I have held back on this topic: I do not believe in diagnosing other people unless you are a licensed mental health professional.
Please know, I am not telling you these things as a mental health professional. I am telling you these things as an Intuitive and empath. I am telling you these things so you can stop looking for signs like “who takes the most selfies” and “who posts pictures of themselves on Facebook all day long” — because that won’t help empaths overcome the issues that keep them stressed and sick. It is the energy that you need to look for and no tome of a psychological evaluation guide can teach you that.
And that’s why those “How to spot a narcissist in 4 easy steps” blogs are just not helpful. Basic narcissism may be easier to spot and in fact, can describe a lot of people who are not narcissistic – they are good looking, they’re charming, they’re outgoing, they’re successful. Okay, what’s the harm in that? Don’t we all promote body-positivism, social interaction, and climbing the ladder to success? Don’t we all want to feel good about ourselves?
Yet, here we are. The facades are tumbling worldwide. We now know that P.R. campaigns are no longer just for companies advertising products, preventing profit loss, or socialites trying to overcome bad press. Stories have been layered and strategically fed to the public to hide bad behavior from those at the higher levels of government, education, finance, and more. It’s a great awakening.
Here’s what you have to know: the degree of narcissism that you experience from others as an empath will be in direct correlation with your level of empathy, or the degree of empathy you are cultivating through your life lessons. If you are a higher-level empath who was born highly sensitive and has chosen very difficult lessons in your life and actually wanted to work through them, you will attract higher-level narcissistic energy. Bottom line, plain and simple. The lessons increase in intensity the more you work through them. It’s not fair, but it’s the truth. “To whom much is given, much is expected”.
You deserve to know the truth because until you identify these people or circumstances in your life, you will stay sick. This is why I offer Energy Readings to clients — I illuminate these things to the individuals I work with. This information is healing.
Again, please don’t use this information to diagnose people or gossip about them — that’s not the intention. This is the spiritual perspective I am offering you. It is the energy you have always felt but couldn’t put your finger on. If no one speaks it, you will continue to live in states of stress and cognitive dissonance, which lead to physical disease. Please use this so you can take back your own personal power to understand for yourself what is going on around you. Once you can stop being a victim to things you didn’t know were happening, you can stop the sickness cycles.
The ultimate ways to spot covert, higher-level narcissism:
- They enjoy the “hunt”. Narcissists have a predator mentality, always looking for the next victim, or how to prey on their current victims. You always feel like the “prey” in their presence.
- They make you feel sick in their presence. As an empath, your body is a big ol’ lie detector. This person may seem pleasant on the outside but your inner signals are going haywire — that is your red flag.
- They always have ulterior motives. Remember, there is always a story beneath the story. Go into every situation like a detective seeking the real axe they are trying to grind and why. It will be self-serving.
- They never apologize. It’s your fault, always. If they do apologize, which is rare, it was only so the abuse cycle could continue all over again. (Ex: Your spouse berates you then buys you flowers, only for it to happen again a few days later and on and on.)
- They travel in packs – We’re told that narcissists are people who like to be by themselves at the top. That’s not true. Narcissists often have a pack mentality. This is a way for them to control the social setting to instill confidence, trust, and authority where there would otherwise be none. It is also a way for them to surely have others come to their defense if something were to be exposed.
- They victim blame, shame, and guilt. If they hurt you, you’ll be left feeling like you were the wrong one, the bad one, and you should be ashamed.
- They are drawn to pure souls. Do you expect the best from people, look on the positive side of life, feel the emotions of others very deeply, feel sorrow over the world’s pain, and want good things for yourself and others? You are prime narcissist prey because they feed on the energy produced by your mitochondria, called ATP (adenosine triphosphate). Pure empathic souls also often have “open book” energy and were never taught to stand up for themselves. Often empathic people only know how to hide or get quiet (much like real prey in the wild). It’s like a buffet for a narcissist.
- They ambush you. They won’t give you warning or allow you to be adequately educated or prepared. They may not give you any warning about what will happen next, what they expect, or how to do something.
- They purposefully withhold information so they have the upper hand. See above. Or they may only give you partial information and open-ended expectations. This gives them the upper hand and allows them to victim blame when you didn’t magically do or know what they wanted.
- It is hard for you to explain the mind games they play. Figuring out what they are doing to you feels like a game of mental chess when you never learned the rules of chess. Explaining this “game” to others comes out nonsensical and few understand the severity of the situation.
- You are always in a position of subordination with them. Master-servant dynamic here always. Even if they feign you are their equal, they will find small ways to remind you of how inadequate you are “why did you format an email this way?” “You need more education, like I have”.
- They rarely get nervous. They have strong, solid, unyielding energy. If you can sense energy on people, just know this — you’re likely to be the nervous one and they are likely to be the fixed energy.
- They do not feel anxious over their “flaws” because they have none. Have you worked hard to like yourself? Empaths feel they are intrinsically flawed and we have to work hard to get out of this mindset. Narcissists have never felt this way because they have a strong internal confidence that is not easily broken.
- They naturally rig everything in their favor. They understand systems of control and make sure to always stack the odds against others. Keep in mind, I do suggest stacking the odds in your favor in life — but that doesn’t mean stacking the odds against other people so you can succeed. There is a difference.
- They know how to lie to get out of consequences. They flip whatever and whenever they can. Sadly, they rarely get caught but this is soon changing.
- They keep you out of your subconscious mind. They don’t want to hear about your real experiences and feelings. They want to keep you in the conscious mind or cover story so they can control your reality. (Ex: “I know you think I was wrong, but I bought you flowers, don’t you realize how lucky you are?”)
- They make you keep secrets for them. They are scared sh*tless of the truth coming out and will use every tactic to keep you quiet: scapegoating, coercion, threats, intimidation, lawsuits, social bullying, isolation, etc.
- They find ways to drain you: sex, money, stress. Sex isn’t just sex with a narcissist – it is a way to drain the energy centers. This is why sexual predators often predate children — it’s not just about the perversion of enjoying a certain youthful appearance — it is about finding pure, vibrant chakras to steal from. It’s the most vile form of abuse because it literally sucks the life out of people and leaves them powerless. (If you have been sexually abused, please know, you can rebuild your energy centers and integrate the part of your soul that was stolen). The same is true for those who purposefully threaten to take away your financial security, or purposefully inflict stress. It gives them power, plain and simple because it drains your chakras and keeps you in a “lizard brain” response. They get high on the adrenaline, ATP, and “feel good” peptides.
If all else fails, just remember this: not everyone can see through them, and many people will in fact enjoy them. That is because many choose not to do the soul work or take the “narcissism lesson”. It is a very difficult lesson and it is easier to bypass it to stay complacent and pretend like there are no problems.
But inevitably, narcissists, like all predators, leave a trail. So keep this in mind: “you will know them by their fruits”.
Every single one of us has been a recipient of the trauma someone else imposed on us — every single one, whether you realize it or not.
Often, clients come to me with so much grief and negative energy affecting their every move, every thought, every decision about life. They want to feel happy, but they actually feel quite sad. They want to feel motivated but they instead feel fatigued beyond belief and don’t think their efforts will amount to much. They want to like themselves but they can’t stop the self-deprecating tape playing in their mind: “you aren’t good enough”, “you’ll never be pretty enough”, “you’re dirty”, “you’re not smart enough”, “you need to atone for the sin that is you”, “things will never work out in your favor”. Or they feel they are going at life alone because no one is on the same page as them.
They don’t understand why they are feeling this way because they’ve had a “good” life, or they have a “good” spouse, or they are doing their best to change their diet for the better.
Here’s the thing: it’s not your fault.
We are players in a bigger system that we have not had control over until this moment in time. Our current reality is the sum total of what has happened to others before us and how the cycle has repeated to this day. Last October was a huge “breaking of the dam” watershed moment in time and we are being given the option to stop the secrets and the culture of silent pain. It is an unraveling and undoing of the way things have always been done and it is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to confront the problems so they no longer make your body and spirit sick.
Unhealthy cycles are not broken until someone consciously chooses to break them. Until someone says something about the problems, or until someone does something radically different from what was done to them, the toxic cycle will continue.
Breaking unhealthy cycles is one of the hardest things you will ever do because other people may actively work to prevent the change since it feels too scary to them. Pain is all they have known and it is familiar; unacknowledged pain allows them to maintain power or control; it allows them to keep pretending the choices they made were okay; it keeps them from the pain of regret or guilt. It prevents you from being able to rise into the shining being you really are. And it makes you consistently strengthen activity in certain regions of the brain that make this cycle worse over time.
Here’s what you need to know for your health: because of trauma you are operating out of your “lizard” brain or Amygdala. The Amygdalae which are so primitive, they’re often called the “lizard” remnants of the brain, are two almond-shaped sections of nervous tissue located in the temporal lobe. Amygdalae are part of the limbic system which is responsible for emotions, survival, instincts, mood, sexuality, addictions, and memory. It’s function has been linked to neuropsychiatric disorders that involve anxiety and fears.
You will have dominant Amygdala function whether your trauma has been acknowledged thus far, or whether it still remains in the subconscious corners of your mind. The Amygdala is the fight-or-flight, reactivity, fear center of the brain. It remembers most every misdeed others have done to us so that we can constantly be on the defense in order to protect ourselves. It is a coping mechanism and survival tactic that, while once essential, has overstayed it’s welcome. In large part, we’re not hunter-gatherers needing to protect ourselves from apex predators or starvation. It’s making us sick from the stress.
Sounds a bit like adrenal fatigue or hypothyroidism, right?: frazzled, stressed, broken, in states of heightened awareness, in the red, on the defense constantly because we need to protect ourselves from perceived threats. If you are operating out of the Amygdala as a fear center every day, imagine the repercussions for your hormonal health – constantly in a state of flux, constantly swinging from high to low, or just getting so burnt out that your T4, T3, TSH, cortisol, estrogen, and testosterone and completely out of whack. Imagine the repercussions for your immune health – chronically infected with yeast, bacteria, parasites, or your body may be engaged in an autoimmune response where it is attacking anything and everything that is a non-existent threat (food proteins, your own tissues, etc).
There is a solution.
The solution is learning to tap into a vastly different area of your brain that, instead of relying on old bad memories to create our future reality, it relies on problem-solving, solution-seeking, future-oriented goal setting, and personal behavioral modification. It’s called the prefrontal cortex.
The prefrontal cortex is located in the frontal lobe — right where the sixth chakra or intuitive “third eye” is located — at the front of the forehead. There is a scientific link between your will to live, personality, and the functions of the prefrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex has been implicated in planning complex cognitive behavior, personality expression, decision making, processing, updating, redirecting, and moderating social behavior. Activity in this brain region is in large part a collection of thoughts and actions in accordance with your internal goals. It also helps one differentiate between various thoughts in order to come to reasonable conclusions that will benefit you in the future and are not based in reactivity and fear. In other words, it helps us plan and seek future, positive experiences instead of constantly reacting to old problems.
Here’s how to tap into your prefrontal cortex:
- identify your subconscious triggers (I do this for clients in Energy Reading sessions)
- work through your problems/sin/karma (what you choose to call it doesn’t matter)
- learn cause and effect – how your actions affect others and how others actions affect you
- enact the laws of cause and effect in your life
- stop the negative cycles you have inherited from others
- map out and visualize the future that you want for yourself
- find solutions to get the future health and self you desire, then pursue them hardcore until you get the results you want
- strengthen your own energy through prayer, positive affirmations, meditation, Energy Readings, reiki, acupuncture, yoga or gentle forms of exercise, close friendships with people who know how to reciprocate, doing hobbies you enjoy, etc.
- figure out which diet you should be eating for your unique gene mutations and health problems
- get rid of toxic people or energy vampires in your life (relationships that drain you or in which there are strings attached for purposes of power, control, and manipulation)
- learn about or discover your true personality, apart from what others expect or demand of you
- stand your ground and do not be moved – remember that no one deserves to elicit your stress response
Remember, we are not lizards. We are mammals with a spiritual lineage and the fear center that was once essential for survival is overreacting to your detriment. It doesn’t jive with our modern world. While there may be legitimate threats to your well-being (car accidents, money troubles, relationship problems), you are more than a reptilian stalking prey or finding ways to prevent becoming the prey. You are more than that. You have to remember this essential part of your soul in order to stop the cyclical fear patterns that are making you stressed and sick. You can transition to a new thought process, it is possible. When you do, watch how your health and life improve dramatically for the better.