Stages of development of the female intuition, part 1: the early years

3D, 5D, ascension, baby, children, empath, energy, intuition, mind-body, prenatal, relationships, stress

As a woman and a mother to a little girl, and a coach whose client base has been comprised of women 98% of the time over the last eight years, I can only speak to what I know: females. I know there are a good number of men who follow this blog, or who have worked with me a few times over the years and while this won’t apply to you directly, please still take a read and use it to your advantage to understand the ladies in your life. It is my firm belief that all children are born highly sensitive and highly empathic, but society talks them out of this. As such, they need you to “get” this just as much as they need to get it for themselves. Without a tag-team effort, we’ll continue to bring up girls who are sheepish, disconnected, ignorant to the abuses around them, don’t trust themselves, act out, or go through life disillusioned and distrusting. The problem isn’t them — it is what they have been told about what they observe and how much to trust their reactions to it (and how much punishment they receive as a result).

The feminine intuition is a wild beast, much like a horse, that starts out carefree, unrestrained, and observant of every movement, touch, and tone of voice. The wind moves a certain direction and she feels it. The grass shuffles a certain way and she hears it. A stranger approaches and she reads his energy to discern if he is trustworthy or not. Anything that could impede on her freedom is swiftly run from. Over time, though, this “animal” becomes trained in the ways of others for sheer survival or necessity. It doesn’t want to be tamed, but it does so because it has been tricked — roped and walked into fences and gated pastures where certain “benefits” are offered. “This will be good for you”, “look what I can give you”, it is told. It has been told it’s own spirit cannot be trusted — at least not fully — so it takes commands from those who say they know what they are doing. After a while, it believes others more than it believes the callings of its own soul. And this is, partly, what has landed us where we are now. Women have been talked out of their instinctual needs and reactions.

I was a first-time mom when my daughter was born over six years ago. I had no idea what I was doing in labor, in birth, in breastfeeding, and in caring for a new child. Everything I learned from my midwife, birthing videos, books about parenting, and even my education degree and years as a teacher could never have prepared me for the reality (and I definitely did try to prepare myself). Becoming a mother was my first initiation into intuition because, despite what any book told me, my own baby gave me every indication of what she actually needed at a moment’s notice. Her cries and their varying tones, her smiles and babbles and their causes, her likes and dislikes, her need to be at my side for damn well three years was contradictory to everything I had read in books written by professionals. I began to trust her just as much as I began to trust my reactions to her.

When she was born, I saw a wisdom behind my newborn daughters eyes; a wisdom I had never seen before. A wisdom that comes from something that had just been in touch with the divine and was yet untainted by any imposed ego. She didn’t just look at me, she looked through me and judged or questioned the things I was doing. I could see her trying to make sense of it. I could see her discerning whether she could trust. She wasn’t just fascinated by movement or speech, she was fascinated by intention. I wanted more than anything to prove to her that my intention was good.

I raised her the way I would have wanted to be raised. I exhausted myself to meet her needs, not because she demanded it, but because I knew if I broke her trust and showed her too early that the world was not a safe place, she would not consider me safe either. I wanted her to believe in her own needs and put them first, even when every book I scanned told me to put her on a schedule to meet my own. I wanted her to learn through experience and collaboration, not just because I said so.

What I have observed over the years, both from her, others, and myself, is that the female intuition largely begins developing around age six. The first six years are an amalgamation of input that the child begins processing and trying to translate: what is trustworthy and what is not? What can be expected out of life and others? Who makes her feel good? Who listens? Who believes? Who imposes or forces? Who takes her seriously? Who sacrifices of themselves to help her? She begins keeping a record though even she isn’t aware of this.

Around age six, cognitive dissonance begins to creep in which leaves the girl questioning deeper realities. Now she begins to understand there is not one side to the coin, but there are two: are they saying one thing but doing another? Are they telling the truth? Why do people treat her in certain ways? What does she deserve? No one has told her to question her sense of reality. In fact, she likely has been told what life is, what to believe, who to be, and how to act from day one. Regardless of the indoctrination, she secretly begins questioning and seeing duality or polarity. She may ask you outright questions about how things work, why things are the way that they are, and how come this or how come that. She seeks truthful answers and will quietly note any signs of falsehoods — or perhaps even delve into further lines of questioning if she feels you are sugarcoating or glossing over something important.

If the cognitive dissonance becomes too great to bear (if she becomes confused about the truth or feels she cannot trust her caregivers), the child will begin acting out in anger, frustration or resentment. Based on the dualities of what she has observed, she is keeping too much a secret at this point and you will need to find ways to gently draw out her confusion to help her gain clarity; to help her find a way back to her soul amidst the confusion. This means creating a safe space when she is relaxed and not distracted to figure out the source of the anger or frustration. Do not ask the question you want an answer to directly; ask around the question, so to speak, and once she feels it is safe, she will lead you to the question or problem herself. The way to earn her trust is to do this gently and to make a point to do it. If no one recognizes her frustrations and tries to help, she will go deeper into anger or hiding because she will feel you are not like her; that you are not empathic or trustworthy. And if you outright ask her for the source of the problem, she may feel too ashamed to even admit to it and pretend nothing is wrong (because she will feel guilty for questioning in the first place). She is smarter than you or she realizes.

It is important to take these things seriously when she is at a young age. Without doing so, the teen years (the sequel to this blog that I’ll write soon) will become chaotic and toxic. If she has not learned anyone can be trusted to tell her the truth, she will certainly not trust you when real life problems present themselves as a confused adolescent. The resentment will keep building over the years and explode when she is hormonal and stepping into her power as a young woman. Earn her trust now by honoring her instinctive needs, her questions, and her feelings with the truth, with help, and with recognition. Teach her she is right about things and can be trusted as well as trust her caregivers.

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Planet Earth: house of mirrors

3D, 5D, abuse, ascension, baby, core wounds, empath, intuition, karma, narcissism, relationships, stress

Part of the spiritual ascension process (in which you absolve your karmic debt, right the wrongs in your life, shed the ego, choose the principle of the opposite to heal your core wounds and learn your life lessons, and begin a path towards your true life purpose) involves questioning the nature of reality. We are indoctrinated from day one in our earthly existence: believe this, ignore that, pretend that isn’t happening, look here, this is good, this is bad, do what I tell you. “This is the only truth” we are told, and anyone who is curious or dissatisfied enough to question this indoctrination will begin a lengthy process of shedding the old self, dying to the flesh, and understanding their true divine nature.

Once you embark on your life lessons (aka: stop pretending the problems aren’t there, stop sweeping them under the rug, and finally confront them), you will receive a big rude awakening that life is not what we have been told. In fact, it is nothing like what we have been told. “Go to school, get a good job, find someone to love, try to live a good life in which other people like and respect you” is no longer acceptable. “If you are a good person, you can have a good life”, “Problems happen to other people, not to me” and all other forms of blindness swiftly get removed. It is as if you have been living life with rose-colored glasses on and suddenly the lenses break. You see things for what they really are — not what you hope they are, or what you have been told they are.

Planet Earth is a place full of mystery and intrigue. Unrelated civilizations have “shown up”, risen and fallen, accomplished great feats, and suddenly disappeared. Earth is full of non-sequiturs, delayed progress, questions, and clues for us to piece together. There is no one accepted history of this place, and in fact different peoples and places have their own stories of origin, of the divine, and of our purpose here. We have been told to accept the mystery, that no one can possibly figure this place out; that it is beyond any one of our understandings and you should simply choose a side: God or no God, religion or no religion, evolution versus creationism — then cling to it as a backdrop to your life even if you are still full of questions.

Once you have come face to face with your own karma, you will suddenly understand how little sense all of this makes. You will come face to face with the egos of everyone around you, their projections and illusions, much like a house of mirrors. You see one thing but are told another. You get nudged into the truth but are talked out of it. You lose what you once thought you could hold firmly in your hand. You see people doing one thing but saying another. You share the truth of your experiences but are ignored or told you are exaggerating. “What is even real here?” you will wonder.

As you question these things, it will become evident that few are doing so. If you are reading this or have happened upon this post, you are one of the people questioning and I commend you. We have been told in so many words that only philosophers and poets long deceased can question such ideas. That only they deserve to. That they may now be venerated and respected. But the modern sojourner who asks the same things may be told they are out of touch with reality, negative, or disconnected. They may be told they are being pessimistic by recognizing or being curious about the nature of reality. “Why aren’t you grateful?”, “what aren’t you thankful?”, “you need to be more positive”, “look how great this place is” they are told.

Here is what is considered normal in society and once you question it further, it becomes apparent it is entirely unhealthy. Once you have admitted to these things, you must then ask why they are transpiring:

You are discouraged from questioning the nature of reality or from deciding the nature of reality is different from what you have been taught. If you believe differently than the “postage stamp consensus”, you are written off.

It’s an unspoken rule that you never upset a narcissist, so you go about appeasing their ego your entire life.

Narcissists do things to gain your trust (fake love, attachment, and the old “I’m so much like you” line even when their actions truly differ) so you trust their version of reality.

Narcissists in your circle never reflect your reality back to you (your emotions, feelings, experiences) but talk you out of it.

You are forced to deny the abuse/problems in your life to appease others’ versions of reality. Only when you become utterly sick and fed up will you fight for yours.

You face judgment or punishment if you try to ascend into higher spiritual realities (peace, love, harmony). (Ie: “you’re so weird”, “you’re so different”, “you hippie”, “I don’t get you anymore”).

You are shamed for your feelings so you can’t trust yourself (ascension requires feeling because the 5th dimension is about feelings via intuition).

Parents, religion, and the educational system imposes an ego on children from a young age, leaving them unable to tap into the metaphysical world.

The ego acts like a loudspeaker in the back of the mind, reminding people how terrible they are.

People end their lives just to get away from this plane of existence.

Narcissists and the powers that be choose ways of operating that only cause more problems later (entropy = insanity), and anyone who comes up with solutions gets marginalized. (In the sectors of climate change/control, education, hunger and poverty, crime and recidivism, war, etc.)

We are fed food and water with chemicals poisons in them.

Diversity is mocked or punished. You are put at a natural disadvantage if you cannot be standardized.

Peoples are pitted against each other for differences in beliefs and ways of living.

Abuse is ignored.

Abuse is so prevalent, it is considered normal.

Metal health problems are a global epidemic.

Metaphysics is mocked as unproven, despite every genius who has contributed something major to our society proclaiming it as their bedrock and source of inspiration.

The people who observe and report basic cause and effect are considered weird or paranoid. (Ie: “you’re making a big deal out of nothing”)

We are told no one knows why we are here.

Entertainment and stress are used as forms of distraction.

Speaking out is considered taboo and brings punishment or great shame onto any whistle-blowers.

Early adopters are often neutralized (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., etc. )

Advancement of science is continually held back. Solutions are not implemented. New research takes decades to work its way into doctors offices, businesses, government, and the people.

I want to encourage you to keep asking yourself about what this place is, its many mysteries, the cryptic half-answers ancient peoples have left behind, and why no one has figured it out yet. Why progress is stymied. Why societal change is mocked and punished. You are capable of figuring it out. But in order to do so, you must accept the truth. The truth lies behind the glass-paned house of mirrors, behind the veil, behind the curtain. Peer behind it. What does all of this lead you to believe?

The effects of twin flame relationships on children

abuse, baby, empath, energy, intuition, karma, mind-body, narcissism, past lives, relationships, sex, stress

I’ve written previously on the topic of twin flames. As I’ve said before:

Twin flames are the relationship(s) we are in while we work out karma that we are indebted to (aka the cause and effect that we never resolved). Twin flame relationships are the most challenging relationships you will ever have. A twin flame is like a backwards reflection of you. They bring up all of the negative qualities in yourself that are not for your greatest good. They can take what you do and say and use it against you, all while making it sound perfectly reasonable. They say one thing and do another. You feel confused and chaotic because of what they do to you. You keep trying to connect but can’t fully get through to each other, always oil and water trying to make it work but ultimately causing each other great pain and resistance. They can be jealous and co-dependent or cause that to stir within you. Sometimes you have to force the attraction to stay together.

Twin flame relationships burn hard and fast; they are all-consuming and fiery. Sometimes you see it as the couple that has been married 50 years and has no plans for divorce but genuinely do not like each other or get along, despite pretending to. Other times you see it as the young love that clouds your vision and forces you to put all red flags out of mind to pursue the person at your own expense. It can manifest as sexual or emotional addiction, addiction to anger and fighting, or a longing for something “more” that you feel you cannot get from this person.  

If you are in a romantic relationship with a twin flame, it will be very challenging. It is literally as if you two speak a different language — because you do! Often twin flame relationships are comprised of one empathic person and one narcissistic person (though they can also be made up of one empath and one emotionally apathetic person who is not necessarily narcissistic). They are polar opposites (despite perhaps agreeing on some things that initially excited you) and it feels impossible to come to agreements about anything or truly trust each other. You inherently feel at odds with this person and even if you try your best to make the relationship work (counseling, honest conversations, date nights, etc), you will never feel fulfilled or truly happy in the relationship (sadly, many discount this as “normal”).

One reason for this is that, again, twin flames are constantly triggering each other into their core wounds, and while this is a good thing in the long run if you choose to learn from it, the common expectations we have for relationships are never met. Compassion, time spent together, caring, single-mindedness and vision for the relationship, compromise, communication, emotional and sexual intimacy become impossible to achieve with a twin flame. They are not meant to fulfill you — they are meant to help you recognize the parts of yourself that need work so you can fulfill yourselfThat doesn’t mean you don’t want to try to make the relationship work. In fact, the whole goal is to try — to try to find peace, compassion, understanding, love, compromise, communication. Often, though, this just won’t happen no matter how much work you put in. 

I’m bringing a new perspective on this because we’re about to experience a major timeline shift in which identifying these things in your life will be necessary. In other words, the 3D physical reality will begin to seem less important and the soul or spiritual work will seem of great significance. It will be something you can no longer escape. Your soul wants to be heard and it doesn’t want to make compromises any longer. 

If there are children involved, leaving twin flame relationships can seem impossible. I understand this completely — trust me. It’s the ultimate dilemma every parent seeking or toying with the idea of separation has to come to terms with: do I choose what is best for myself or best for us overall, or do I choose the norm the children have lived thus far?

Almost all of us have grown up in families with twin flame dynamics. As I have said before, marriage is a big contributing factor (keeping people together who fall out of love, don’t get along, and deep down may not like each other or are unable to grow together). It may not have been obvious to you because many parents play the part, trying to be happy around the kids, keep arguments for after bedtime hours only, and avoid problems at all costs so nothing explodes into conflict. 

Here, I speak from observation (clients, friends, family), and personal experience as a child of twin flame parents and someone who was in a twin flame relationship for nearly a decade. I want to break this down so that you can see just what a child learns from twin flame parental role models in these relationship scenarios because it is a difficult, often impossible choice to forgo the relationship for greater spiritual ascension and your higher purpose here. But it is your right and choice to decide whether or not staying is truly the healthiest decision for the long term success of children’s mental and emotional well-being. 

What children learn from twin flame parental relationships:

  • Constant anger, resentment, and arguing is normal
  • Problems never get resolved
  • Love is conditional; there are always checks and balances
  • Compromise is impossible
  • Punishment and withholding love are normal
  • There is always underlying tension
  • Love means sacrificing who you are so someone else can be happy; losing yourself in a relationship
  • You must be the same person you were when you met your romantic partner — you can never grow because it leads to insecurity and jealousy
  • Vices are an appropriate way to cope with relationship tensions
  • Hiding is an appropriate way to cope with relationship tensions
  • Disconnect is normal
  • Communication is impossible and always leads to arguments
  • People avoid each other when things get hard
  • It’s okay to pretend there are no problems
  • “I am in the middle of my parents problems”
  • “My parents don’t love me because if they did, they would fix this” / “I am unworthy”
  • Walking on eggshells is normal, being scared of when the next problem will erupt is normal
  • Abuse (if present) is normal
  • It’s impossible to trust other people
  • Forgiveness is impossible or conditional
  • Infidelity (if present) is normal
  • Staying in unhealthy karmic relationships is normal
  • Lying to yourself is normal
  • Pretending to be happy is normal

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