Part of the spiritual ascension process (in which you absolve your karmic debt, right the wrongs in your life, shed the ego, choose the principle of the opposite to heal your core wounds and learn your life lessons, and begin a path towards your true life purpose) involves questioning the nature of reality. We are indoctrinated from day one in our earthly existence: believe this, ignore that, pretend that isn’t happening, look here, this is good, this is bad, do what I tell you. “This is the only truth” we are told, and anyone who is curious or dissatisfied enough to question this indoctrination will begin a lengthy process of shedding the old self, dying to the flesh, and understanding their true divine nature.
Once you embark on your life lessons (aka: stop pretending the problems aren’t there, stop sweeping them under the rug, and finally confront them), you will receive a big rude awakening that life is not what we have been told. In fact, it is nothing like what we have been told. “Go to school, get a good job, find someone to love, try to live a good life in which other people like and respect you” is no longer acceptable. “If you are a good person, you can have a good life”, “Problems happen to other people, not to me” and all other forms of blindness swiftly get removed. It is as if you have been living life with rose-colored glasses on and suddenly the lenses break. You see things for what they really are — not what you hope they are, or what you have been told they are.
Planet Earth is a place full of mystery and intrigue. Unrelated civilizations have “shown up”, risen and fallen, accomplished great feats, and suddenly disappeared. Earth is full of non-sequiturs, delayed progress, questions, and clues for us to piece together. There is no one accepted history of this place, and in fact different peoples and places have their own stories of origin, of the divine, and of our purpose here. We have been told to accept the mystery, that no one can possibly figure this place out; that it is beyond any one of our understandings and you should simply choose a side: God or no God, religion or no religion, evolution versus creationism — then cling to it as a backdrop to your life even if you are still full of questions.
Once you have come face to face with your own karma, you will suddenly understand how little sense all of this makes. You will come face to face with the egos of everyone around you, their projections and illusions, much like a house of mirrors. You see one thing but are told another. You get nudged into the truth but are talked out of it. You lose what you once thought you could hold firmly in your hand. You see people doing one thing but saying another. You share the truth of your experiences but are ignored or told you are exaggerating. “What is even real here?” you will wonder.
As you question these things, it will become evident that few are doing so. If you are reading this or have happened upon this post, you are one of the people questioning and I commend you. We have been told in so many words that only philosophers and poets long deceased can question such ideas. That only they deserve to. That they may now be venerated and respected. But the modern sojourner who asks the same things may be told they are out of touch with reality, negative, or disconnected. They may be told they are being pessimistic by recognizing or being curious about the nature of reality. “Why aren’t you grateful?”, “what aren’t you thankful?”, “you need to be more positive”, “look how great this place is” they are told.
Here is what is considered normal in society and once you question it further, it becomes apparent it is entirely unhealthy. Once you have admitted to these things, you must then ask why they are transpiring:
You are discouraged from questioning the nature of reality or from deciding the nature of reality is different from what you have been taught. If you believe differently than the “postage stamp consensus”, you are written off.
It’s an unspoken rule that you never upset a narcissist, so you go about appeasing their ego your entire life.
Narcissists do things to gain your trust (fake love, attachment, and the old “I’m so much like you” line even when their actions truly differ) so you trust their version of reality.
Narcissists in your circle never reflect your reality back to you (your emotions, feelings, experiences) but talk you out of it.
You are forced to deny the abuse/problems in your life to appease others’ versions of reality. Only when you become utterly sick and fed up will you fight for yours.
You face judgment or punishment if you try to ascend into higher spiritual realities (peace, love, harmony). (Ie: “you’re so weird”, “you’re so different”, “you hippie”, “I don’t get you anymore”).
You are shamed for your feelings so you can’t trust yourself (ascension requires feeling because the 5th dimension is about feelings via intuition).
Parents, religion, and the educational system imposes an ego on children from a young age, leaving them unable to tap into the metaphysical world.
The ego acts like a loudspeaker in the back of the mind, reminding people how terrible they are.
People end their lives just to get away from this plane of existence.
Narcissists and the powers that be choose ways of operating that only cause more problems later (entropy = insanity), and anyone who comes up with solutions gets marginalized. (In the sectors of climate change/control, education, hunger and poverty, crime and recidivism, war, etc.)
We are fed food and water with chemicals poisons in them.
Diversity is mocked or punished. You are put at a natural disadvantage if you cannot be standardized.
Peoples are pitted against each other for differences in beliefs and ways of living.
Abuse is ignored.
Abuse is so prevalent, it is considered normal.
Metal health problems are a global epidemic.
Metaphysics is mocked as unproven, despite every genius who has contributed something major to our society proclaiming it as their bedrock and source of inspiration.
The people who observe and report basic cause and effect are considered weird or paranoid. (Ie: “you’re making a big deal out of nothing”)
We are told no one knows why we are here.
Entertainment and stress are used as forms of distraction.
Speaking out is considered taboo and brings punishment or great shame onto any whistle-blowers.
Early adopters are often neutralized (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., etc. )
Advancement of science is continually held back. Solutions are not implemented. New research takes decades to work its way into doctors offices, businesses, government, and the people.
I want to encourage you to keep asking yourself about what this place is, its many mysteries, the cryptic half-answers ancient peoples have left behind, and why no one has figured it out yet. Why progress is stymied. Why societal change is mocked and punished. You are capable of figuring it out. But in order to do so, you must accept the truth. The truth lies behind the glass-paned house of mirrors, behind the veil, behind the curtain. Peer behind it. What does all of this lead you to believe?
I’ve written previously on the topic of twin flames. As I’ve said before:
Twin flames are the relationship(s) we are in while we work out karma that we are indebted to (aka the cause and effect that we never resolved). Twin flame relationships are the most challenging relationships you will ever have. A twin flame is like a backwards reflection of you. They bring up all of the negative qualities in yourself that are not for your greatest good. They can take what you do and say and use it against you, all while making it sound perfectly reasonable. They say one thing and do another. You feel confused and chaotic because of what they do to you. You keep trying to connect but can’t fully get through to each other, always oil and water trying to make it work but ultimately causing each other great pain and resistance. They can be jealous and co-dependent or cause that to stir within you. Sometimes you have to force the attraction to stay together.
Twin flame relationships burn hard and fast; they are all-consuming and fiery. Sometimes you see it as the couple that has been married 50 years and has no plans for divorce but genuinely do not like each other or get along, despite pretending to. Other times you see it as the young love that clouds your vision and forces you to put all red flags out of mind to pursue the person at your own expense. It can manifest as sexual or emotional addiction, addiction to anger and fighting, or a longing for something “more” that you feel you cannot get from this person.
If you are in a romantic relationship with a twin flame, it will be very challenging. It is literally as if you two speak a different language — because you do! Often twin flame relationships are comprised of one empathic person and one narcissistic person (though they can also be made up of one empath and one emotionally apathetic person who is not necessarily narcissistic). They are polar opposites (despite perhaps agreeing on some things that initially excited you) and it feels impossible to come to agreements about anything or truly trust each other. You inherently feel at odds with this person and even if you try your best to make the relationship work (counseling, honest conversations, date nights, etc), you will never feel fulfilled or truly happy in the relationship (sadly, many discount this as “normal”).
One reason for this is that, again, twin flames are constantly triggering each other into their core wounds, and while this is a good thing in the long run if you choose to learn from it, the common expectations we have for relationships are never met. Compassion, time spent together, caring, single-mindedness and vision for the relationship, compromise, communication, emotional and sexual intimacy become impossible to achieve with a twin flame. They are not meant to fulfill you — they are meant to help you recognize the parts of yourself that need work so you can fulfill yourself. That doesn’t mean you don’t want to try to make the relationship work. In fact, the whole goal is to try — to try to find peace, compassion, understanding, love, compromise, communication. Often, though, this just won’t happen no matter how much work you put in.
I’m bringing a new perspective on this because we’re about to experience a major timeline shift in which identifying these things in your life will be necessary. In other words, the 3D physical reality will begin to seem less important and the soul or spiritual work will seem of great significance. It will be something you can no longer escape. Your soul wants to be heard and it doesn’t want to make compromises any longer.
Almost all of us have grown up in families with twin flame dynamics. As I have said before, marriage is a big contributing factor (keeping people together who fall out of love, don’t get along, and deep down may not like each other or are unable to grow together). It may not have been obvious to you because many parents play the part, trying to be happy around the kids, keep arguments for after bedtime hours only, and avoid problems at all costs so nothing explodes into conflict.
I want to break this down so that you can see just what a child learns from twin flame parental role models in these relationship scenarios because it is a difficult, often impossible choice to forgo the relationship for greater spiritual ascension and your higher purpose here. But it is your right and choice to decide whether or not staying is truly the healthiest decision for the long term success of children’s mental and emotional well-being.
What children learn from twin flame parental relationships:
- Constant anger, resentment, and arguing is normal
- Problems never get resolved
- Love is conditional; there are always checks and balances
- Compromise is impossible
- Punishment and withholding love are normal
- There is always underlying tension
- Love means sacrificing who you are so someone else can be happy; losing yourself in a relationship
- You must be the same person you were when you met your romantic partner — you can never grow because it leads to insecurity and jealousy
- Vices are an appropriate way to cope with relationship tensions
- Hiding is an appropriate way to cope with relationship tensions
- Disconnect is normal
- Communication is impossible and always leads to arguments
- People avoid each other when things get hard
- It’s okay to pretend there are no problems
- “I am in the middle of my parents problems”
- “My parents don’t love me because if they did, they would fix this” / “I am unworthy”
- Walking on eggshells is normal, being scared of when the next problem will erupt is normal
- Abuse (if present) is normal
- It’s impossible to trust other people
- Forgiveness is impossible or conditional
- Infidelity (if present) is normal
- Staying in unhealthy karmic relationships is normal
- Lying to yourself is normal
- Pretending to be happy is normal
Being empathic, intuitive, or highly sensitive means you can read the subconscious mind, plain and simple — whether you realize it or not — because the subconscious is always where the truth lies and you have spent your entire life working hard to find the truth on a planet full of illusions, projections, and distractions. As such, you are able to read subconscious patterns of thought and behavior on others through body language, tone of voice or specific intonation, word choice, energy, behavior, and more nuanced cues others don’t pick up on.
If you have not recognized your ability to perform this skill, you may end up drained by it. That’s because the narcissistic personalities and the non-empaths around you operate on the underlying assumption that the ego is the truth while you believe the subconsciousness to be truth. This results in great forms of denial or cognitive dissonance that you internalize into your body as stress. Over time, this will make you very sick.
Think of the ego and your empathy/intuition at far opposite sides on the same spectrum. Empathy and intuition exists on the far left side of this spectrum because that is how we all start out as babies. We operate solely on our intuitive nature — we feel hungry, we cry; we feel gassy, we cry; we feel joyful, we babble and smile; we want to understand something so we touch it or put it in our mouths. Young children do not question their natural feelings and responses — they just do it. As time goes on, however, parents and caregivers teach children that their feelings make them too needy, too annoying, too defiant, and children become products of the demands of their parent’s ego. They do what the parent wants or they get punished — sometimes in small ways (a parent says “no” angrily or makes a disapproving look), and sometimes in big ways (spankings, shaming, isolation, or neglect). In order to tap back into empathy and intuition, we have to become childlike again and ditch the ego. We have to get back in touch with that child-like innocence in order to surrender to the magic and live from the soul not the mind.
The ego, on the other hand, exists on the far right side of the spectrum. Like I say above, as we go on in life, pain piled on top of more pain can cause us to become hateful, react in toxic ways, and stunt our spiritual evolution. If we don’t choose wisely, we start to act out these pains on other people. Again, whether you call it narcissism or the ego, it’s almost one in the same: purposely inflicting pain to try to make ourselves look good, feel good and protect the subconscious feelings from surfacing (and therefore, never resolve our karma).
The ego is generally what is projected and believed as the “truth” in our groupthink world because the ego is oh-so obvious. But you, as an intuitive person, inherently believe the subconscious. This can leave you feeling crazy, wrong, and not in touch with reality because it appears as if no one else sees the truth. You have to learn to trust the subconscious — the underpinnings — instead of the ego’s obvious story in order to see the truth but also not drive your health into the ground.
It is interesting to note, however, that empaths and highly sensitive people posses our own unique way of dealing with the ego. It’s the way we hide our subconscious mind on purpose because we instinctively know who we really are may not be accepted, welcomed, or wanted. Whereas narcissists are operating from their ego 24/7 because it gives them power, empaths are operating from their subconscious mind most often but because we want to blend in, we learn to hide our true nature on purpose — not to harm anyone but to protect ourselves. It’s what I call “flipping” and it is where an empath purposefully flips their ego and their subconscious mind in order to blend in. It’s where we act more like our narcissistic culture than our true empathic nature because we believe that is what is expected of us, despite it causing us great pain.
When I come in contact with other highly intuitive people, I see they do this often. We tell white lies, we pretend like everything is fine, we nod in agreement, we go along with what others tell us even when we know in our hearts it is wrong. It is silently acknowledging the truth but appeasing the egoic demands of others based on fear or cognitive dissonance (not trusting yourself). Again, we understand how to literally flip the subconscious and the ego in order to blend in to not appear “different” because empaths naturally operate from their subconscious mind unlike others and that can be a liability. We want to hide in order to protect. I believe that many who have had past lives as both slaves and royalty understand how to do this because it works as an adaptation skill that is useful in abusive and/or diplomatic situations.
There are also people who flip their subconscious and ego for more devious purposes. This includes telling you what you want to hear in order to falsely earn your trust, deceive you, and get their way. Some narcissists are good at doing this because they have learned how to prey on empathic people — making them feel important and telling them what they have desperately wanted to hear their whole lives: “You’re so special”, “We are so similar”, “You are important”. We have to learn to feel a person’s intention and watch their behavior in order to discern the truth. Are they flipping their subconscious and ego because they want something from you, they want to hide their bad behavior, or hurt someone? These are all indications that they flip for power and control, not self protection.
When you sense another empath is doing this, it can feel like a mindfuck because you are feeling one truth on a person, but they are intentionally flipping it to seem like another. The difference between this and other people who hide their subconscious is that the empathic “flippers” do this intentionally for self-preservation and to keep the peace, or feel out a situation to see where they fit in, not to harm or deceive for purposes of power and control.
There is another element to this phenomenon and it’s what I call “foggy mirroring”. It’s where an empath naturally reflects back to a narcissist or non-empath what the person wants to hear or see. Imagine you just stepped out of a steamy shower. The mirror is fogged up and you can’t see yourself clearly. This is where we act like narcissists, or like narcissism is acceptable, in order to prevent someone else from having to face the harsh reality of their behavior, from having to see themselves for what they really are. It is like giving someone a free pass on their hateful actions because we don’t want to have to call them out on it and face the social consequences. So we affirm others for the sake of giving them what they want. Empaths are natural ego mirrors, so we have become accustomed to dimming this part of our energy or personality in order to not have to tell the harsh truth. If you’ve heard the words “let your light shine” or “don’t hide your light”, know that it means you must stop hiding your internal compass and high vibration for the sake of those operating from lower energies. The world is changing and we need to begin reflecting them back to themselves.
Flipping and foggy mirroring are very similar but the major differences are that flipping stems from high degrees of cognitive dissonance or the desire to hide our sacred inner world, whereas foggy mirroring is about actively trying to fit into a world where you feel you just don’t belong. Ultimately, I don’t believe either are healthy. Unfortunately, most empaths do these things without fully being aware of it and live their lives appeasing others at the expense of themselves. Over time, your physical and emotional health will begin to suffer greatly because in the end, you are living a lie and unable to self-actualize.
To overcome these dysfunctional behavioral patterns, try these things:
- Tell the truth, the hard whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
- Do not lower your energy to appease anyone.
- Create boundaries so that you do not automatically affirm the ego of those around you. If they are wrong, they are wrong.
- Say no when you need to.
- Take time away from the world at home or in nature to re-calibrate.
- Reflect and connect the dots in your life.
- Do not compromise yourself ever again.
- Reflect back to narcissists the pain they have put you through so they learn cause and effect and so that they learn you will not be a foggy mirror for them.
- Get rid of spiritual narcissists in your life — show them the door.
- Find other empathic people with which to affirm your truth.
- Trust your subconscious mind above your conscious mind.
- Stop worrying about fitting in. If people don’t like you for who you really are, they are not your friend or ally and you should not change for their acceptance.
- Stop people pleasing. You can be kind and loving without being a doormat.
- Decide what you want in life and pursue it until you get it.
- Trust yourself.
- Do not protect someone else’s lie.
- Stop seeking advice from people who talk you out of yourself.