Stages of development of the female intuition part 2: the teen years

abuse, children, empath, energy, hormones, intuition, karma, mind-body, relationships, stress

If you haven’t already done so, please go back and read my first blog on this topic: Stages of development of the female intuition part 1: the early years. Once you get a good understanding for the backdrop to this post, it will all likely begin to click for you — the ways your intuition has been suppressed, why you don’t trust yourself, how to raise up a new generation of daughters (children) who aren’t in constant states of cognitive dissonance about the abuses around them, and who can take control of the energy that is being displaced onto them rather than internalizing it and becoming sick.

So here comes the second part to this series: the teen years. The teenage years are hard for most everyone — the kid, the parents, the teachers, everyone. Teenagers are not only experiencing an influx and sudden surge of hormones, they’re also smack dab in the middle of third eye development, which can and will cause a clusterfuck of problems for everyone involved. That is, unless everyone is operating in the truth (pretty freaking rare). Teen girls have a keen eye for bullshit and truly, deep down know certain people are asking or demanding they keep up lies for sake of appearances. They know their true nature will not be accepted. But because they are only just stepping into their personal power, chances are they will choose to act out or go within in order to combat the lies, rather than feeling comfortable stepping into a role of leadership in order to change the situation for the better.

A teenage girl is going through a lot. Socially, she is trying to fit it and not stand out so she can avoid mocking, bullying, and being picked on. This means she’s going out of her way to adopt a false personality of sorts that works with her circle of friends and what her caregivers expect from her, while she’s trying to attain a perfect body or certain look. External validation is all she has known and getting this from her male peers and from those in authority are number one on her list.

On top of that, she is wise beyond her years. We know that girls develop prefrontal cortex function — plan, plot, strategize — well before their male counterparts who won’t catch up until, best case scenario, their mid-twenties, worst case, their mid-forties! Cliques are a fierce force to be reckoned with and no one wants to be the odd one out at this age. So she plays along to fit in, which largely means acting younger to appease more immature male peers and adopting the social mores of her female circle. She just doesn’t know where her real self, if anywhere, fits in.

She also feels the incessant demands from her parents to perform a certain way in school and in extracurricular activities, project a good girl virginal image, and never cross the line into doing what feels good for her (the horror). In essence, her soul is being stripped by the demands of the external world. She knows she has to fit in for survival but she also knows who she is playing is not who she really is. But because she has never realized (aka: never been told or encouraged) she does not in fact need external validation, her worst fear is losing the approval of others.

The girl’s home life will also play a big role in the development of her intuitive abilities. She is keenly aware of the underlying energy in the home and relationship dynamics and while she may play along like life is fine because that is what the caregivers project, she is absolutely in touch with the problems that stick out like a sore thumb to her. Cheating parents? Check. Parents who drink too much or abuse other substances? Check. Parents who are emotionally unavailable? Check. Parents who fight in private but act like high school sweethearts in public? Check. Parents who don’t care to listen to her? Check. The way she is treated differently than her other siblings? Check, check, check.

If you remember, around age six she begins to realize there is more than one side to the coin, so to speak, and sees that duality and polarities exist. When she reaches her teen years, she not only now has a deep understanding of the polarities (people saying one thing but doing another, people acting in unethical ways, people telling her who she should be despite her not being that thing at all), but she begins to harbor a deep resentment and frustration over them. This is where things can get toxic. “Hormones” is what most people will call this stage of anger, attitude, tantrums, and resting bitch face. What they don’t understand is that the hormones are but a bit of kerosene adding fuel to an already burning fire. What they don’t understand is that she is sick of the lies.

Lies aside, the girl is also walking a fine line between adolescence and adulthood around the corner. She knows hypothetically she could assert her personal power to create some changes in the family/school dynamics. But she also knows those in authority do not easily rescind their power and will never hand it over to her without a fight. She has likely tried this before and it got her nowhere but punishment and loss of love. “Why don’t they trust me?” she wonders. “Why won’t they let me make good decisions for myself?”, “Why won’t they let me learn organically?”, “Why must I keep the secrets for everyone?”, “Why won’t they listen?” she asks herself. This is where core wounds begin to form and she resents those who are forming the wounds for her. Deeper she goes into herself, or deeper she goes into creating her own secret world in which she can act out without risking punishment.

All of this leads the teen to one horrible conclusion: she is worthless and not good enough. If she weren’t, she could be herself and have her needs met. Because her hierarchy of emotional needs is so rarely met, she understands that forgoing her intuitive reflexes is a must for sheer survival. Whatever she has observed and felt no longer matters. She becomes disconnected and no longer cares. She becomes the teen who hates family outings, vacations, dinners, and holidays. Why would she engage with people who are wounding her? She becomes the person who would rather be alone in her room on her phone because it is a form of escapism from the reality of life. Sometimes the escapism takes much larger and more drastic turns.

There is a way to change all of this, of course, but it will require a monumental effort by those around her. You see, she isn’t the problem. She is a symptom of larger dynamics no one wants to talk about. In order to make her healthy, everyone would have to come clean and few want to do this. To reverse this karmic residue, teachers, parents, and those in her life would need to overcome their ego. The ego that says there are no problems, the ego that says she needs to change to make them comfortable, the ego that doesn’t listen to her heart and mind when it is important. Their egos are blocking her intuition and she is almost ready to live in the truth.

Stay tuned for part 3 of this series.

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Empath subcategory type 2: Rainbows

5D, children, empath, energy, intuition, karma

If you read my last post Empath subcategory type 1: Indigos, you know that there is a small percentage of the empathic/highly sensitive people in the population that are warriors at heart, see through facades, and are here to break down old toxic systems. These people have a driven mind-set and are irritated by basic ways of doing things that do not lead to positive progress. “Empaths on steroids” as I lovingly referred to them.

In contrast to those kinds of empaths are another kind, Rainbows, which are much more calm, even-tempered, and naive. If Indigos are empaths on steroids, Rainbows are empaths on Xanax. Rainbow people comprise a larger percentage of the empath community and are the stereotypical peace-loving flower child. They often look like hippies, free spirits who wear the long, flowing and brightly colored clothes, pick daisies for enjoyment, and care deeply about the earth’s ecology. They may be tree huggers, environmental activists, and care about the welfare of animals. While Indigos become angry and frustrated at the plight of the world and the complacency of others, Rainbows can become emotional and sad about the state of things, wishing all beings were cared for and loved as they love. They are more likely to join in a cause, rather than start one themselves.

Rainbows are classified by a distinctive multi-colored aura that often resembles a rainbow — neon or pastel whites, blues, yellows, and pinks comprising the majority of their soul’s colors. They do not resonate with one color or the other — they are a mixture of all, hence their name. Because of their high-vibrational aura color, they can also be high energy, hyperactive, and always ready to move on to the next bit of fun. Life is always an adventure for a Rainbow and they want to experience as much as they can in their short existence here. They likely do not carry quite as much karmic residue as an Indigo and so they are able to be much more free-spirited and open to the world.

A Rainbow is easy to spot because their energy is so naive, loving, and kind that you will be blown away by their easy going nature. Rainbows are the kind of people who gravitate towards lovey-dovey spirituality and may overlook the bad energy of another because it is simply not on their radar. They love regardless of how they are loved, and they give regardless of how they are given to. A Rainbow child is the one who knows no strangers, waves hello and smiles at everyone in the grocery store, attracts the love of others wherever they go, and runs over to a friend in need to give a hug. In other words, they see the good in everyone and everything and just want the world to find peace. The love they exude is contagious and people are naturally drawn to them.

A major hangup for Rainbows is that, because they are so trusting, they will need to develop their third eye or intuition to be able to discern who is truly a healthy part of their life and who is not. While they want to believe everyone is good like them, the truth is this is not always the case. Their naivete is beautiful but can also become an issue if they never learn how to discern people’s true intentions. Additionally, they will need to find ways to channel their energy into productive matters rather than looking for the next fun activity.

How to tell if you are a Rainbow:

Love is your natural state. You have never considered withholding love or affection from the people in your life and give it freely. It doesn’t bother you if others are not able to reciprocate because it just feels so good to give.

You care deeply about environmental or animal welfare issues. The planet and the animals on it are one of your biggest priorities. You want to save the beings who can’t stand up for themselves. You may participate in non-profits and organizations that promote animal rights and environmental preservation.

You routinely get called a hippie. People assume you are a tree hugger or flower child archetype based on how you dress, speak, and your interests. You enjoy others seeing you this way.

You feel that nature is a second home to you. You love sitting in the grass, watching flowers sway in the breeze, and getting your hands and feet dirty in the ground beneath you.

You are drawn to spirituality that is feel-good in nature. You love reading books, listening to podcasts, and finding blogs that promote a “do no harm” approach to life. Your number one priority is sharing your infectious good energy with others.

You hate conflict. Because Rainbows are so naive and loving, they expect everyone shares this view. It surprises you when other people cannot meet you on that level, but it rarely upsets you — you just go about the business of being high-vibe. You simply don’t know how to participate in conflict.

You may feel restless. As I said, because of their high vibrational energy, Rainbows are always on the move. True social butterflies, they flit about from one thing to the next, always looking for the fun in life. They can become very restless when asked to sit still, focus, and get serious.

You can be prone to sadness. While 99% of your time is made up of love and happiness, you do sometimes get down when there are conflicts you can’t avoid. You just want everyone to get along and when this isn’t possible, you turn to internal sadness.

You have a hard time standing up for yourself. Because you assume everyone has good intentions, you likely have never developed self-survival skills. You simply don’t think they are necessary if you give enough love. Rainbows will eventually need to learn how to say no, how to put themselves first, and how to discern what is healthy and what is not.

Stages of development of the female intuition, part 1: the early years

3D, 5D, ascension, baby, children, empath, energy, intuition, mind-body, prenatal, relationships, stress

As a woman and a mother to a little girl, and a coach whose client base has been comprised of women 98% of the time over the last eight years, I can only speak to what I know: females. I know there are a good number of men who follow this blog, or who have worked with me a few times over the years and while this won’t apply to you directly, please still take a read and use it to your advantage to understand the ladies in your life. It is my firm belief that all children are born highly sensitive and highly empathic, but society talks them out of this. As such, they need you to “get” this just as much as they need to get it for themselves. Without a tag-team effort, we’ll continue to bring up girls who are sheepish, disconnected, ignorant to the abuses around them, don’t trust themselves, act out, or go through life disillusioned and distrusting. The problem isn’t them — it is what they have been told about what they observe and how much to trust their reactions to it (and how much punishment they receive as a result).

The feminine intuition is a wild beast, much like a horse, that starts out carefree, unrestrained, and observant of every movement, touch, and tone of voice. The wind moves a certain direction and she feels it. The grass shuffles a certain way and she hears it. A stranger approaches and she reads his energy to discern if he is trustworthy or not. Anything that could impede on her freedom is swiftly run from. Over time, though, this “animal” becomes trained in the ways of others for sheer survival or necessity. It doesn’t want to be tamed, but it does so because it has been tricked — roped and walked into fences and gated pastures where certain “benefits” are offered. “This will be good for you”, “look what I can give you”, it is told. It has been told it’s own spirit cannot be trusted — at least not fully — so it takes commands from those who say they know what they are doing. After a while, it believes others more than it believes the callings of its own soul. And this is, partly, what has landed us where we are now. Women have been talked out of their instinctual needs and reactions.

I was a first-time mom when my daughter was born over six years ago. I had no idea what I was doing in labor, in birth, in breastfeeding, and in caring for a new child. Everything I learned from my midwife, birthing videos, books about parenting, and even my education degree and years as a teacher could never have prepared me for the reality (and I definitely did try to prepare myself). Becoming a mother was my first initiation into intuition because, despite what any book told me, my own baby gave me every indication of what she actually needed at a moment’s notice. Her cries and their varying tones, her smiles and babbles and their causes, her likes and dislikes, her need to be at my side for damn well three years was contradictory to everything I had read in books written by professionals. I began to trust her just as much as I began to trust my reactions to her.

When she was born, I saw a wisdom behind my newborn daughters eyes; a wisdom I had never seen before. A wisdom that comes from something that had just been in touch with the divine and was yet untainted by any imposed ego. She didn’t just look at me, she looked through me and judged or questioned the things I was doing. I could see her trying to make sense of it. I could see her discerning whether she could trust. She wasn’t just fascinated by movement or speech, she was fascinated by intention. I wanted more than anything to prove to her that my intention was good.

I raised her the way I would have wanted to be raised. I exhausted myself to meet her needs, not because she demanded it, but because I knew if I broke her trust and showed her too early that the world was not a safe place, she would not consider me safe either. I wanted her to believe in her own needs and put them first, even when every book I scanned told me to put her on a schedule to meet my own. I wanted her to learn through experience and collaboration, not just because I said so.

What I have observed over the years, both from her, others, and myself, is that the female intuition largely begins developing around age six. The first six years are an amalgamation of input that the child begins processing and trying to translate: what is trustworthy and what is not? What can be expected out of life and others? Who makes her feel good? Who listens? Who believes? Who imposes or forces? Who takes her seriously? Who sacrifices of themselves to help her? She begins keeping a record though even she isn’t aware of this.

Around age six, cognitive dissonance begins to creep in which leaves the girl questioning deeper realities. Now she begins to understand there is not one side to the coin, but there are two: are they saying one thing but doing another? Are they telling the truth? Why do people treat her in certain ways? What does she deserve? No one has told her to question her sense of reality. In fact, she likely has been told what life is, what to believe, who to be, and how to act from day one. Regardless of the indoctrination, she secretly begins questioning and seeing duality or polarity. She may ask you outright questions about how things work, why things are the way that they are, and how come this or how come that. She seeks truthful answers and will quietly note any signs of falsehoods — or perhaps even delve into further lines of questioning if she feels you are sugarcoating or glossing over something important.

If the cognitive dissonance becomes too great to bear (if she becomes confused about the truth or feels she cannot trust her caregivers), the child will begin acting out in anger, frustration or resentment. Based on the dualities of what she has observed, she is keeping too much a secret at this point and you will need to find ways to gently draw out her confusion to help her gain clarity; to help her find a way back to her soul amidst the confusion. This means creating a safe space when she is relaxed and not distracted to figure out the source of the anger or frustration. Do not ask the question you want an answer to directly; ask around the question, so to speak, and once she feels it is safe, she will lead you to the question or problem herself. The way to earn her trust is to do this gently and to make a point to do it. If no one recognizes her frustrations and tries to help, she will go deeper into anger or hiding because she will feel you are not like her; that you are not empathic or trustworthy. And if you outright ask her for the source of the problem, she may feel too ashamed to even admit to it and pretend nothing is wrong (because she will feel guilty for questioning in the first place). She is smarter than you or she realizes.

It is important to take these things seriously when she is at a young age. Without doing so, the teen years (the sequel to this blog that I’ll write soon) will become chaotic and toxic. If she has not learned anyone can be trusted to tell her the truth, she will certainly not trust you when real life problems present themselves as a confused adolescent. The resentment will keep building over the years and explode when she is hormonal and stepping into her power as a young woman. Earn her trust now by honoring her instinctive needs, her questions, and her feelings with the truth, with help, and with recognition. Teach her she is right about things and can be trusted as well as trust her caregivers.