The empaths who can’t emote

3D, 5D, abuse, brain, children, core wounds, ego, empath, energy, intuition, mind-body, narcissism, stress, Uncategorized

First, an announcement. I wrote a book. A book full of invaluable information for you that will be published in the next few months. It’s called How To Become Intuitive. As soon as this current editing stage is done with the publishing company, I’ll be sharing pieces of it here on my blog. The knowledge contained in it is so vast and complex but essentially, it’s a guide to trusting your first instinct, why you/humanity hasn’t thus far, and how to tap back into your logical and mystical intuition once more in order to spiritually ascend — and the reality of what happens when you do. I explain how I once was an agnostic using my intuition for “second opinion” approaches with nutrition and my client’s physical health, and how a silent vow to the sky landed me in a world full of metaphysics, chakras, past lives, and supernatural experiences. My ego was dying and I began to see the world for what it really is, beyond the veil of falsehood. Through experience, I learned the words of the great ascended masters are true and everything they tried to teach us so long ago is still applicable — integral, in fact — to our daily lives. I learned that truth is truly stranger than fiction. As I say in my book, it wasn’t something I necessarily wanted to publish — it was something I needed to publish. I will be opening up pre-orders soon. Thank you for your support in advance. <3

Now, onto the empaths who can’t emote.

I have written before about strange adaptive methods empaths adopt, including The Empaths Who Act Like Narcissists. You can think of all human beings as possessing two separate operating systems. One is the subconscious mind which houses our real selves and true vibrational operating system. The other is the ego, the false persona we are forced into — or find our way into on our own — in order to be liked, successful, and never have to confront our own wounding. Most people operate out of either the ego or a mixture of both. Empaths, however, may take on an ego but it never truly feels like home. So a person can be born an empath, have a soul vibration of empathy, and yet act entirely narcissistic because of adverse experiences. It’s like they’re hiding their scared inner child.

Recently I have come across another kind of empath adaptation that is much harder to spot. These are the empaths who can’t presently emote. In other words, the hallmark sign of an empath is the level of emotion they release as an energetic frequency. That doesn’t mean these people are always crying and sad. It means they’re adept and have the inherent skill for turning a thing (intention, feeling, experience, expectation) into an invisible energy they then project as their own. They transmute and/or they translate a thing into an energy, an energy into a meaning, a meaning into an understanding. The empaths who can’t emote, though, lack the emotional programming in order to feel such feelings at all.

Typically, an empath’s emoting is directed inwards but ends up leaking outwards because empaths (until they are aware, at least) do not know how to stop leaking energy. This means an empath’s personal emotions will be leaked, how they feel about others and external circumstances will be leaked, how others are feeling will be leaked, how they feel about others leaks, and they will leak when others flat out ask or subconsciously demand it of them. This is because an empath’s subconscious mind is their natural state and this part of the brain is where authentic feelings are housed. Simply put, they leak vibrational frequencies all day long in response to what has happened in the past, what is presently happening, or who they or others are on a soul level.

The empaths who cannot emote (let’s call them ECE’s for short), on the other hand, share some similar characteristics. First they were either neglected as children, received no love or emotional nurturing, were otherwise abused, or shut down due to another trigger as they went on in life. They stopped feeling or never learned how to in the first place. Sometimes it presents in the form of pain in the body but cluelessness regarding their own emotional pain (aka: “I’m fine. I don’t think I have any trauma” despite having tons). It can also manifest as someone who feels apathetic but wishes they didn’t. Or in some cases it’s the person who wants a better life for themselves but feels a literal blank spot in their mind like they’ve blacked out certain memories which they therefore cannot access or feel.

The difference between these people and narcissists or sociopaths is that the ECE’s still possess compassion, still give love, and still on some level desire to work through their pain. They are OPEN to the idea of personal development, change, and correcting their thoughts or behavioral patterns. They also have a fair perspective of others and do not actively work to harm. They want to change, they just don’t see how they can. They want to feel, they just don’t remember what it’s like to do so. In other words, they don’t want to be in denial but aren’t sure how or why to get out of it.

In the past I may have considered these people somewhere on the middle of the empath to narcissist spectrum; not narcissistic but not highly sensitive. Now though, I see these people are a severe manifestation of abuse. In fact, as an Intuitive, ECE’S are the hardest people for me to “read” because it’s not enough for me to listen to what a person is telling me or observe how they are acting — I also have to read their energy for the truth. Naturally, ECE’S cannot presently emote so these tend to be my most difficult cases. Even they themselves do not know how they feel.

There is hope for ECE’S, though. Reversing this phenomenon requires a person tap back into their divine feminine energy (aka subconscious mind) in order to begin expressing emotion without fear. They typically operate from a purely logical mindset in which they fit into the toxic masculine system quite well as left-brained reasoners rather than right-brained spontaneous feelers. They must admit to their suppressed emotions and actually, actively make a point to feel them whenever and wherever they arise. Balancing these two aspects of the self and no longer being ashamed of the “irrational” feeling self is essential for healing.

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Your ego is your monkey brain

3D, 5D, abuse, ascension, brain, children, ego, empath, hormones, mind-body, narcissism, past lives, relationships, sex, stress

The cornerstone of any spiritual awakening process involves shedding of one’s ego in order to reach new levels of personal awareness. Releasing the egoic mind involves a lengthy — and I do mean lengthy — process of identifying and eliminating the false realities we have been told are real, the illusions we have come to accept as normal, and the thought and behavioral patterns that keep us selfish and un-enlightened about the greater connectivity between the universe and our personal decisions (and those of others). It is a process of re-awakening to your own divinity, accepting your higher self or higher power, and acting from the prefrontal cortex rather than the stress-driven parts of the brain. It requires accepting personal responsibility for everything you have done, and developing the empathy to see how your decisions will affect you and those around you in the long run.

I have written before about the “lizard brain”, aka: the Amygdalae, which are two almond-shaped structures within the brain that remind you of the danger that could lurk ahead. The lizard brain keeps a close tally of every stressful situation you have been in, so that you can prevent stressors from affecting you in the future. Unfortunately, this also means people become locked in states of chronic stress because the lizard brain reminds you that the world is utterly unsafe, you are a terrible person, and no one can be trusted. Additionally, because we have all had numerous stressful past lives, our subconscious mind will also dictate these reminders to the Amygdalae, causing us to be triggered at things that have never hurt us in this lifetime. Overcoming these repeating thoughts is a necessary step in shedding the ego.

As I have said before:

Here’s what you need to know for your health: because of trauma you are operating out of your “lizard” brain or Amygdala. Amygdalae are part of the limbic system which is responsible for emotions, survival, instincts, mood, sexuality, addictions, and memory. It’s function has been linked to neuropsychiatric disorders that involve anxiety and fears.

You will have dominant Amygdala function whether your trauma has been acknowledged thus far, or whether it still remains in the subconscious corners of your mind. The Amygdala is the fight-or-flight, reactivity, fear center of the brain. It remembers most every misdeed others have done to us so that we can constantly be on the defense in order to protect ourselves. It is a coping mechanism and survival tactic that, while once essential, has overstayed it’s welcome. In large part, we’re not hunter-gatherers needing to protect ourselves from apex predators or starvation. It’s making us sick from the stress. 

There is another structure of the brain we also must overcome, though, in order to reach enlightenment: the monkey brain. While the lizard brain protects us from having to process or re-endure trauma, the monkey brain is the facade that gets established to help us overlook the trauma — or defend ourselves against the trauma. In other words, the lizard brain tells your subconscious mind, nervous system, and hormones something is not safe, while the monkey brain says “I will act bigger and better so that the problem does not present itself again.” Puff out your chest, beat your fists, and act larger than you really are, so to speak.

The monkey brain and its according behavioral patterns are the root of the true ego and in order to understand how to overcome it, we must understand how non-human primates function. Most primates, including us as human beings, spend their lives in large social groups or communities and this, along with primary needs (food, water, air, territory), become the driving force behind all that we do. Being secured within a community means more than socializing, of course. To a primate, there are constant threats, again, to food and water supply, territory, and most importantly, sex/reproduction and social standing.

Most primate communities are generally closed to contact with members of other communities. Most often, members stay within a certain region and rarely migrate outside of their home area. Such aloofness from other troops prevents high concentrations of individuals entering the community, which could result in rapid depletion of local resources and restructuring of social status. Communities usually avoid each other and are aggressive towards outsiders. Because of this, social interactions between members of different troops are rare, especially for females. In some primate groups, the only intentional contact between groups is in the form of defensive territorial behavior. Ie: instead of avoiding each other, groups actively converge near their common territorial border and make hostile displays to scare away competition. Sounds a bit like human displays of jealousy and insecurity, eh? It’s the classic means girls, hazing newbies, and feigned exclusivity to prevent outsider infiltration in order to retain power and control.

In order to guarantee resource availability, social hierarchies are constructed in a true survival-of-the-fittest mentality. The more dominant and aggressive one is, the more resources they have available to them. The more resources they have available, the most respect they garner. The problem is, high levels of aggression, both given or received, can lead to chronic psychological stress in addition to added energy costs and risk of injury. For primates, chronic stress can adversely affect health and reproduction. Does this sound much different than human beings?

Humans constantly vie for social position, feel inferior and therefore less valuable (socially, sexually, intellectually) if they are not connected to, or liked by, the most respected members of their community or subgroup. Of course, the “most respected” members are often not respected by virtue of character, though in some cases they are; they are often respected for their appearance and external accomplishments, ability to bullshit, wine and dine, and put on a false mask to please people and entertain — not due to personal enlightenment.

Humans deeply rooted in their egoic mind have no problem gossiping, spreading rumors, blameshifting, creating chaos, and sabotaging others so they themselves can get ahead and be perceived as superior. Humans spend most of their lives trying to be viewed as sexually desirable and go into deep depressions when members of the opposite sex (or, same sex in many cases) do not choose them as a sexual partner. We spend a majority of our time working to make money so that we can build a facade of desirability within our homes, wardrobes, with accessories (hair, nails, and other beauty treatments), our cars, etc. Every choice we make becomes about what will be perceived as the most valuable by people we both know and strangers alike (the car we drive, the school we attended — or our children attend, the company we work for, the choice of prints for the curtains, the comments/likes and followers we get on social media, etc). We can spend our entire lives chasing a facade that stems from normative primate behavior and does nothing for the soul. The monkey brain has taken over and this is why the dichotomy between empaths and narcissists exist. Some people are self-aware, and others are stuck in animal survival mode, willing to do anything (abuse included) to get what they want.

Below are some stereotypes but they do speak to the behaviors and attitudes we take on naturally through societal enculturation. In some cases, these roles can be reversed and men and women may flip flop back and forth between the two. If these stereotypes offend you, they should. Yet, they are still what many people consciously or subconsciously chase.

For male human primates, this can mean: taking as many sexual partners as possible, being perceived as “the man”, succeeding in external pursuits (finances and career) to win over the “best” partner, giving high-value gifts, providing for females or dependents (food and shelter at a basic level), putting on a macho facade (I have no feelings and am not scared of anything), I am the protector, and on and on.

For female human primates, this can mean: being unwelcoming to females who are perceived as superior in some way (sexually, intellectually, ethically, fertile or good mothers) and therefore a threat to their sexual security, shunning “sexually powerful” or desirable females, going out of their way to be sexually suggestive to their partners only to maintain their interest not because of real attraction or love, using sex as a manipulation tool, dressing in clothes to strike the attention of their desired partner, doing things to make themselves appear superior spouses, owning nice things, etc etc.

You see, in order to understand why we as human beings do what we do, and therefore recognize what is dysfunctional in order to overcome it, we must understand our origins. Whether you err on the side of evolutionism or creationism does not matter here. What matters is that our brains carry remnants or similar characteristic of other species and we must overcome those behavioral patterns in order to shed the ego because they have nothing to do with our soul’s purpose and are nothing more than a stressor and distraction.

The art of fighting back

3D, abuse, ascension, children, core wounds, empath, life lessons, mind-body, narcissism, relationships, stress

Empaths, you have been sold one big lie. This lie has immobilized you your entire life. It has caused anxiety, anger, resentment and life long stress. It has made you stew and stew in a pressure cooker of internal angst and it has silenced you when you should have been able to speak. It has made you doubt and second guess yourself. And it has caused you to be a victim, a target, a lesser version of yourself. It is the wound of passivity in the face of evil and it needs to be rectified.

I’m the mother to a super empathic six-year-old. Today I watched her fend off a group of older boy bullies — the kind of kids who gang up on others because it makes them feel cool and important. She’s emotionally intelligent enough to know when someone is being mean on purpose and for no good reason, though she easily forgives those who are mean on accident.

A few years ago she would run to me with arms crossed or a pout on her face when someone was unnecessarily mean. I’d help explain to her the what, where, when, why and how of their choices and how to strengthen up so she wasn’t affected. With a hug, she would get over it and get back to playing.

Today she took a new approach and stepped into her power. Instead of rescinding her autonomy to any one bully, she spoke back. One little girl against six older and privileged private school boys. She got attitude. She told them they were being mean. And she meant it. It sounds like a small step but as a parent and coach, I know these skills need to be imparted from a young age. You see, chances are as an empath, you were taught to turn the other cheek, not say anything, and certainly not fight back.

It’s a fine line — at what point does your engagement contribute to more drama and how far do you need to go to get your point across? A few years ago I would have always turned the other cheek myself. I wouldn’t have had the desire or courage to speak. But that was before I saw abuse for what it really is: a pointless ego demonstration that benefits only one person — the perpetrator — and stresses the victim beyond belief… Because it just keeps happening no matter how nice you are. The nicer you become, the more they enjoy the game. And the more you feel complicit in it and stripped of your dignity. It’s time for us to take a new approach.

99% of the spiritual advice you will find on the internet takes an airy fairy approach to life. In other words, they recommend in order to be a good person and embrace your spirituality, you never fight back. That you send love and light to everyone. That you never acknowledge problems imposed on you by others because that’s too “low vibe” and you’ll just attract more of it. Ignore, smile, ignore, then magically manifest some happy ending. This puts victims (aka empaths) squarely in the position of a sitting duck. Do you think your higher power would want you to be a sitting duck, a punching bag for the anger of others? Do you think it benefits you when you put up with injustices for the sake of false peace?

My favorite biblical story is when Jesus fought back, bruised egos, and got angry. The empaths understood his righteous anger; the narcissists questioned his authenticity. The famous activists I look up to all stared evil down and spoke out against it vehemently. Then they were blamed for the problems and targeted further. Crucified literally or figuratively. Still, they kept fighting for what they knew was right.

After I watched my daughter stand up for herself fearlessly, one of my own bullies joined the playground scene. A fellow mom, a nice-to-people-who-benefit-her-appearance kind of person, a completely nondescript woman who you’d never guess could harm a soul — unless she’s done it to you. In the past, when she was cruel, I still smiled at her and asked how she was doing. I still wanted to care about her. In all truth, I was wrong. I should have assaulted her ego right then and there and ask her why and told her to stop. It wouldn’t have solved the problem but it would have let her know I wasn’t a sitting duck. That she would need to find a new victim.

All I know is that good and evil do exist. Ignoring evil doesn’t solve any problems. Acknowledging it is a start. Changing the whole goddamn system is what’s required. You deserve to no longer be a sitting duck. Imagine what would happen if all empaths rose up and learned the art of fighting back.