Your karmic partners are the people with whom you share the most challenging relationships. These are the relationships in which you are not allowed to be your true self, there are always strings attached, there are constant checks and balances, there is no unconditional love, and there is little to no support. Chances are you will try time and again to make things healthy with these people but realistically there is just no way it can be done — because both parties must want healthy change. Most often, only one person will desire this and have the strength and courage to do so. In that case, staying in these relationships will start to drain your soul, suck your life force, and bring you pain, misery, and poor health because you are unable to self-actualize.
If you attempt to resolve your karma with these people through the principle of the opposite, it will be very difficult to get away from their grip. They will throw every tactic at you to try to pull you back in, so you cannot see a way forward without them — whether it is because they pull you into further false love and attachment, because they make you question yourself and how you truly feel, or because they threaten you in some way. Once you see their tactics for what they are, you will be able to see reality much more clearly and make decisions that are healthy for you and you alone.
Here are the ways a karmic partner will try to pull you back in:
They offer you fake love: lust or sexual relationships, money, fun outings or socializing, “good/bad” cycles (hurting you then giving you a gift, or hurting you then being nice and kind for a little while only for the cycle to start all over again). This is where you get some of your needs met for a short time, only for things to get unhealthy again. Because you get some needs met sometimes, you wonder if you are in fact the problem rather than the nature of the relationship. You wonder if you should settle.
Brainwashing: This sounds heavy and it is but it happens with karmics. This is where karmic partners purposefully implant false ideas, false realities, doubts, and fear so that you think you are stupid for wanting to leave. It is where you feel out of touch with reality because this person is working so hard to make life seem different than what it really is. Religion, spirituality, legal proceedings, and more can be used here to force a false reality on you. I’ve experienced and had women tell me a partner started quoting the Bible, using tarot cards, the law, and conspiracy videos to appeal to “authority” to convince you that you are wrong in your desire to leave.
Emotional manipulation: Guilt, fear, anger, resentment, belittling, shame, and more will be used by a karmic to try to get you to settle in the relationship. “You’re a bitch”, “you’re emotionally manipulative”, “no one else will ever want you”, “I’ve been so good to you”, “I’ll break you”, “how could you do this to me?”, “you’re unstable”, “you’re crazy”, “you need professional help”, etc. will be thrown at you once this person knows you deserve better.
Taking away your resources: if a karmic has any connection or control over your finances, job, home, or car, they will try to take it from you so you cannot start over without them. Suing you for all of your money, closing bank accounts, trying to coerce you to sign legal documents, trying to coerce you to make them promises that give them power and control, etc. will all be used against you.
Social pressures: If the karmic can’t get to you, they will use others to do this. This means gossiping to their friends and family about your “terrible” decision you made to choose yourself, to try to be healthy, to leave them. In doing so, the social group will often side with the karmic to make you feel bad for wanting to leave. You may feel you cannot leave because if you do, you risk losing your whole social circle. And you also risk blemishing your reputation because they will not stop the defamation until they get what they want.
They throw your deepest fears at you: If none of these things listed above are enough, just know whatever your deepest fears are will be brought to the surface. This is where your core wounds come up and you will be forced to face them (abandonment, rejection, loss of pride, etc). They know if they can use your weaknesses against you, there is a good chance you will stay. Feel the pain and do it anyway.
Getting away is possible. But keep in mind it will not be easy. It will be the hardest thing you have ever done because you are having to overcome seriously strong negative energy and intentions, but also you are having to overcome every past lifetime cycle that was not resolved. Utilize the principle of the opposite, get help from someone who is not connected to the situation, and tune into your intuition to see the correct path you should take. It will be so worth it in the end.
Kundalini is a Sanskrit word originating near ancient India that speaks of the arising energy and consciousness every single one of us are born with, which has been coiled at the base of the spine since birth. In theory, it is your true life force — that which drives and motivates, excites and awakens, and keeps you going forward in life. It is easy to spot people whose kundalini has been awakened from its sleep — they are present, attentive, able to enforce healthy boundaries, love themselves and others, have a zest for life, are positive and loving. Those whose kundalini is not awake will seem half-asleep or not present, negative, unmotivated, tired, or doubtful. In short, awakening your kundalini will lead to a happy, fulfilling life — something we all want for ourselves. But you have to work hard to do this.
Problems with energy flow through the body originate both from past and present lifetimes. As I have written about before, there are many ways your healthy, life-giving energy becomes inaccessible: unlearned lessons, fascial adhesions around the chakra centers, core wounds, energy vampires, and more. For all of us as energetic beings, a primary goal while alive (no matter your religious beliefs) should be to cultivate robust kundalini energy so you can go about life in a present, positive state; where life happens for you, not to you.
Think about a child. The typical child has so much excess energy they simply don’t know what to do with it. They run, chase, jump, play to their heart’s content when allowed and rarely get tired. When they do tire, they fall asleep easily and sleep soundly. When not allowed to express their energy, they become frustrated, irritable, and resentful; they act out and get in trouble with adults because they are unable to channel it appropriately. Adults generally do not posses the same energy levels as children (because of the aforementioned reasons that have blocked their own life force), so children become frustrated with adults and adults become frustrated with children as their energy levels diverge. Because of all sorts of enculturation and indoctrination, children gradually become less and less energetic — both physically and emotionally or spiritually. They learn to dim, shut off, shine less. They see how expressing their energy gets them in trouble. Over time as they age, people become as energetic as any other adult their age — not much, to say the least.
Many adults deal with extreme amounts of fatigue, nervousness, anxiety, excessive need for sleep, and other health complaints that they just can’t seem to get under control — no matter which diet they adopt, no matter which supplements or medication the take, no matter how much they relax, vacation, or sleep. What if I told you that your lack of energy is not an energy deficit but in fact a blockage or misdirection of energy? Would you believe it?
Visualize your kundalini energy as a long, thick cord starting at the first chakra (the base of your pelvis) and working it’s way up through the center of your body to the brain. Along the way, it will hit your sex organs, digestive tract, heart, thyroid and throat, and skull or brain. Think of it as a river channel. If there are “dams” within this straight channel, energy will not be able to flow to all remaining energy centers “downstream”. A blockage in your third chakra, for example, will mean energy cannot channel its way up to your heart, thyroid, and brain. Physically, you may experience heartburn, trouble breathing, congested lungs, trouble swallowing, headaches, brain fog, and more. Emotionally, you may not be open to love or unable to receive it, be wounded from broken hearts, have trouble expressing yourself, feel ashamed of your creativity, feel confused, and more.
We have been taught to view chakra imbalances as a case by case basis. In other words, your 1st, 4th, and 5th chakras may be blocked, so you may work to address those areas, but in reality they are but a symptom of a larger problem: your kundalini is being strangled. Take a look at the picture below to see what I mean.
Targeting specific chakras is helpful, yes, but you also must think about the way all of these areas connect. Fascia is one reason for multiple chakra blockages. Fascia is the connective tissue that sits under your skin and on top of your muscles. When healthy, it aides in structural support and transports essential nutrients and even hormone fluids. When dysfunctional, however, it becomes thick, rigid, and straight up blocks transport of said nutrients, blood flow and oxygen, blocks nerve function, and causes pain.
There are many reasons we develop tight, rigid, thick fascia but a primary cause that I do not see anyone speaking about is unlearned lessons and core wounds. Let me explain. Like many of my clients, those who come to me for help with thyroid diseases have had trouble speaking, expressing themselves, indulging their voice or creativity, or facing punishment if they do speak. They are such beautiful, intelligent, highly aware people but they see themselves as stupid, inadequate, broken, and unable to be trusted. They have worked hard to keep other people’s realities afloat and in doing so, suppressed theirs so it no longer exists. You would think this is all about emotional and spiritual well-being. In fact, though, your emotions and life experiences generate a physical stress response that develops bad fascia or fascial adhesions. How is this possible, you ask?
Imagine you are an empathic person in a family of non-empaths. Perhaps you were born highly sensitive and intuitive, though you do not know this about yourself (most of my clients fit this bill). You watch as your family shoots down ideas that do not align with their preexisting beliefs (be it religious, economic, political, etc). You watch as those who “play the 3D game” well get rewarded, liked, and adored. You see that those who do not get punished — shaming, spanking, neglect. You question your value and worth because who you are and what you desire out of life and are oppositional odds to everything in your environment. Unless you are a very strong personality, you will go within, get quiet, and choke back your voice — literally. You will tense your vocal chords, cry quietly (tensing the whole time), sneeze or cough quietly to avoid being noticed, never raise your hand or chime in because you don’t know if what you have to say will be accepted, and overall do not exercise your throat in normal ways, only tensing as, well, external tensions arise.
Or maybe you have been exposed to heinous secrets a family member is hiding. You know the truth, though they don’t know you do, and you feel conflicted about saying something to stop the immoral behavior versus not saying something because you don’t want to rock the boat. Each time the truth verges on coming out of you, or each time you are exposed to the lie, you tense up your throat and vocal chords further in anticipation of the punishment that will ensue. Over years and years, more and more bad fascia will develop over your throat. It becomes tighter and tighter, more and more restricted the less you use it. You will also become prone to throat infections or other E/N/T problems, trouble swallowing, choking on food, etc the less the area is used. It is about life lessons that keep getting put off (finally saying something, in this case), and the physical response that ensues. And to take it one step further, this is likely an age-old pattern that has presented itself in every lifetime but you never thought to resolve, and it has come back around for another look this lifetime. That is why it is such a trigger. Can you see the connection?
Now, what this has to do with kundalini is that you never had a problem with too little energy to begin with. You have always had enough energy because you were born with a full, complete, divine spark of energy. But the energy was being misdirected into tension patterns instead of healthy expressions because of the dysfunctional system you have had to play along in just to survive. All of your built up energy became tension that eventually caused physical dysfunction. The good news is that you can correct this and re-awaken your kundalini — not just individual chakra centers — for total healing and peace.
How to awaken your kundalini energy:
Let go of all societal expectations. Do not be or do what you have been told. Do what comes naturally from your soul and brings you joy.
Release all lower vibration emotions such as fear, shame, anxiety, resentment, anger, etc.
Live a big, bold life. Do not play small for anyone.
Do not hold back positive emotions such as joy, excitement, love, etc.
Get rid of energy vampires and toxic personalities who are draining your energy and causing tension.
Accept the bad things that have happened to you. Make peace.
Right the wrongs in your life. This allows you to learn the lessons.
Let go of attachments to your flaws.
Embrace your beauty and begin to only see yourself this way.
Rewrite every negative story you have ever been told about yourself.
Pursue your dreams head on. Live your life purpose.
Release past-life patterns that are playing out in the present. They are but a remnant of the distant past.
Do energy clearings, including sage, Reiki, mantras, positive alchemy, etc.
Improve your diet. Eat living foods which contain a life force all their own.
Drink alkaline water.
Eliminate parasites and other infections such as SIBO and candida.
Cook for yourself at home. Infuse your food with love.
Eat less fried and processed food.
Eat slowly and take time to enjoy and digest properly.
Do self-care rituals such as massage, exercise, sex, baths, naps, etc.
Cleanse your space (deep clean, de-clutter, organize, rearrange, sage, light candles, etc).
Do myofascial release, especially around the chakra centers, but on your body as a whole.
Your intuition is your power. It is knowing without knowing why (though later on, with careful observation, you do learn why). It is trusting your gut, your first instinct, despite the many ways you are talked out of it. When honored and honed, it is also speaking off the cuff, acting from the hip, and not giving a damn about what anyone else demands. It is following your natural internal cycles and rhythms and indulging them rather than being overtaken with shame, guilt, or fear. It is recognizing the cognitive dissonance around you and accepting it for what it is: a lie.
Perhaps you are at a point in your life where you have seen how suppressing this truth has made you sick time and time again. Perhaps you are at a place where you want to regain the power that was taken from you. As you work to regain your intuitive abilities, your health will improve, plain and simple. Suppressing it for years and years has landed you in a bad place. It steals your joy, zaps your energy, blocks chakra activation, and creates physical and emotional blockages. It makes you a robot, or zombie, living a life you never chose (one that others chose for you), unable to self-actualize to your greatest good and purpose here. It keeps you stressed and down, drifting through life rather than facing it head on.
Without a robust intuition, you are at the mercy of others. You are a pawn in their game because they know they can get you to do whatever it is they please with a simple shame game, nasty look, and word of discord. They know your wounds and the wound of blocked intuition tells a woman she is powerless, cannot make her own decisions, cannot trust herself, and can only ever receive external validation based on the expectations of those around her. “Look this way” it tells you. “Act this way” it demands. “Do this for me” it says. How wrong they all are.
If you want to tap into your intuition to begin living an authentic life you must overcome great — huge — societal hurdles. The kind of hurdles that are the scariest things for you. The things that will take you to your lowest places. The kind of challenges that require you stop accepting any form of external validation and finally go it alone, with only yourself as your compass: “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”
Here’s the thing: we have all been born into a masculine system. It assigns men or more masculine personalities certain inherent rights at birth. Rights that give them permission while the feminine’s are taken or hidden. Rights that make a man feel worthy, because he has someone to always subjugate. It is the man who forces his way past you and expects you to move out of his way. The man who calls you a child (or treats you like one) despite the many strong things you have done in your time on earth. The man who expects of you without giving in return. The thing is, this system is but a facade on stilts. And the only things keeping it upright are secrets and power plays.
For a feminine to access her intuition, she has to uproot the system. It is not enough to trust herself, she must also act on it. She has to tell the truth (aka: spill the secrets she has buried in her blood and bones and pretended not to know) and she has to own her birthright power. In doing so, she will make enemies. You cannot be afraid of making enemies. It is better to make enemies for righteous causes than have friends for sake of falsehoods. Your true intuitive nature was suppressed to make it easier for others. Stop making it easy for them. After all, all they have are secrets and ambition keeping them in power. You were born to uproot this fake system with the truth.
Here’s what keeps the feminine’s intuition suppressed:
“Be a good girl” mentality. Being a good girl is imposed on women from the earliest age. Societal expectations have told you who you are to be, not the other way around. Chances are, no one has ever asked you who you are and sought to understand you. It has always been you working hard to meet someone else’s expectations of who you should be. Many women are told to “keep sweet”, aren’t allowed to indulge their sexuality without public humiliation and punishment, run on a never-ending hamster wheel of self-deprecation and self-woe over their physical appearance, and are kept distracted by the demands of judgment from others for decades at a time.
Maybe you haven’t had experiences so dramatic, or maybe you have despite thinking you lead a “normal” or “progressive” life. When a woman is told to “keep sweet”, “be a good girl”, whether verbally or through implication, she cannot tap into her intuitive abilities because the yearnings of the soul will never be in complete alignment with a religious text or societal expectation. It is a box that keeps her trapped because to break free would require not caring about who she has been told to be — the scariest thing ever. She’s never seen anyone else escape so she thinks, “I must be the only one” — every other woman is so good at being good.
Fear over making toxic masculines grow. Many intuitive women have been raised in homes and families in which there was very strong, heavy, and toxic masculine energy. The father was the head of the family, he controlled you and others with anger, resentment, punishment, fear, and threats. Maybe you were spanked. Maybe everyone was so emotionally unavailable that you were never able to share your feelings without fear of punishment. Nothing feminine was ever honored and in fact, it was shamed when exposed. If this is the case, chances are you have quietly accepted this behavior from others your entire life without realizing it. It has likely driven you deeper and deeper into pain because you do not believe you can trust yourself without someone becoming angry or without becoming ashamed for your true nature. In reality, this is more about a fear of forcing them to grow and change. Growth and change happen as a result of duality or polarity. If you were only ever exposed to masculine energy, while the feminine remained hidden, you couldn’t develop your intuitive abilities because you’ve only ever been indoctrinated rather than allowed to explore.
The problem is, toxic masculines do not want to grow and change because that would allow the balance of power to be equal. They would have to rescind their role as dictator and allow others to have power in the relationship. They would have to be exposed to new information, to see things differently, to hear another side to the story. The feminine has been so fearful of the retaliation that could occur if she did speak her truth and therefore, force someone else to see things from her perspective. Please note that women can exhibit these behaviors as much as men, it is only the system I am referring to here.
You make people question their preconceived notions of what life should be. Go to school, get a job, get married, have kids, live happily ever after is what we have been taught will make you successful, respected, and happy. Up, up, and up like a data chart with an ascending arrow. “Buy low, sell high!” and the whole bit. The truth is that life is a series of ups and downs, zigs and zags, stops and starts, then stops again, messes and spills, blood, sweat and tears, broken glass, and full glasses. Following your intuition will result in a messy but fulfilling life. You get to choose which you prefer: neat and tidy but boring and unfulfilling and disconnected, or messy as fuck and the greatest adventure you could have ever imagined. The experiences allow you to develop your intuition, plain and simple. Without raw, life-shattering experiences you learn little to nothing. When others see you having said raw experiences, they get uncomfortable because they’re too messy. They can’t understand you and they don’t want to “catch” whatever it is you have. You can forgo their judgments and perceptions and chase that adventure down, live the journey, accept the ups and downs, and become intuitive. The choice is yours.
Dumbing yourself down. I think this is pretty self-explanatory but there is a long list of reasons feminines dumb themselves down. When they do, they believe others to be superior, know more, be more trustworthy or intelligent than themselves. This leads to more silence and self-doubt.
“My ideas are stupid”
“Everyone else knows more than me”
“I’m not skilled enough to contribute”
“Other people get rewarded and I never do; I must be wrong”
“They have more training than me”
“I don’t have book knowledge”
“I’ve always been told I was wrong”
“I’m just supposed to be a pretty face”
“My intelligence will intimidate them”
“My intelligence will threaten their egos”
“My intelligence makes me less attractive”
“I will face consequences if I speak up”
“I can be pretty or smart, but not both”
Keep in mind your intuitive inkling may be different than others’ ideas and opinions, but that doesn’t make it wrong. It only means you are escaping from the box while they aren’t aware they are in it.
The “you fought back” abuse fallacy. Like I said, it is not enough to trust your intuition, you also must put it into action. When you do, the messages you receive will be so contradictory to everything around you, it will launch you into action. You will begin to see the injustices, the unfairness, the abuse. You will want to do something about it. When you do, you will be called a problem for acknowledging the problems in the first place. You will be blamed. You will be put on trial. Your every mannerism, smile, word, will be cross examined and dissected. They will find reasons not to like you. They will find reasons why the joy in your soul is dark rather than light. They will take a flashlight to your skin to find the “moles”. “It was her intuition’s fault” they will say. Don’t let this blameshifting stop you — trust yourself and do the things anyway. It is a sign you are on the right track.
And finally — when I think of intuition and the feminine experience, I think of this quote from one of my favorite books. Keep it in your heart.Refer to it often. The feminine intuition is that mythical creature. You only know it when you feel it — somewhere in the wild, unexpectedly and for better or worse, it changes you forever. Most people have forgotten it exists. But if you’ve caught a glimpse, you know it is real. “I am the only Unicorn there is? The last? That cannot be. Why would I be the last? What do men know? Because they have seen no unicorns for a while does not mean we have all vanished. We do not vanish. There has never been a time without unicorns. We live forever! We are as old as the sky, old as the moon! We can be hunted, trapped; we can even be killed if we leave our forests, but we do not vanish.”