Kundalini is a Sanskrit word originating near ancient India that speaks of the arising energy and consciousness every single one of us are born with, which has been coiled at the base of the spine since birth. In theory, it is your true life force — that which drives and motivates, excites and awakens, and keeps you going forward in life. It is easy to spot people whose kundalini has been awakened from its sleep — they are present, attentive, able to enforce healthy boundaries, love themselves and others, have a zest for life, are positive and loving. Those whose kundalini is not awake will seem half-asleep or not present, negative, unmotivated, tired, or doubtful. In short, awakening your kundalini will lead to a happy, fulfilling life — something we all want for ourselves. But you have to work hard to do this.
Problems with energy flow through the body originate both from past and present lifetimes. As I have written about before, there are many ways your healthy, life-giving energy becomes inaccessible: unlearned lessons, fascial adhesions around the chakra centers, core wounds, energy vampires, and more. For all of us as energetic beings, a primary goal while alive (no matter your religious beliefs) should be to cultivate robust kundalini energy so you can go about life in a present, positive state; where life happens for you, not to you.
Think about a child. The typical child has so much excess energy they simply don’t know what to do with it. They run, chase, jump, play to their heart’s content when allowed and rarely get tired. When they do tire, they fall asleep easily and sleep soundly. When not allowed to express their energy, they become frustrated, irritable, and resentful; they act out and get in trouble with adults because they are unable to channel it appropriately. Adults generally do not posses the same energy levels as children (because of the aforementioned reasons that have blocked their own life force), so children become frustrated with adults and adults become frustrated with children as their energy levels diverge. Because of all sorts of enculturation and indoctrination, children gradually become less and less energetic — both physically and emotionally or spiritually. They learn to dim, shut off, shine less. They see how expressing their energy gets them in trouble. Over time as they age, people become as energetic as any other adult their age — not much, to say the least.
Many adults deal with extreme amounts of fatigue, nervousness, anxiety, excessive need for sleep, and other health complaints that they just can’t seem to get under control — no matter which diet they adopt, no matter which supplements or medication the take, no matter how much they relax, vacation, or sleep. What if I told you that your lack of energy is not an energy deficit but in fact a blockage or misdirection of energy? Would you believe it?
Visualize your kundalini energy as a long, thick cord starting at the first chakra (the base of your pelvis) and working it’s way up through the center of your body to the brain. Along the way, it will hit your sex organs, digestive tract, heart, thyroid and throat, and skull or brain. Think of it as a river channel. If there are “dams” within this straight channel, energy will not be able to flow to all remaining energy centers “downstream”. A blockage in your third chakra, for example, will mean energy cannot channel its way up to your heart, thyroid, and brain. Physically, you may experience heartburn, trouble breathing, congested lungs, trouble swallowing, headaches, brain fog, and more. Emotionally, you may not be open to love or unable to receive it, be wounded from broken hearts, have trouble expressing yourself, feel ashamed of your creativity, feel confused, and more.
We have been taught to view chakra imbalances as a case by case basis. In other words, your 1st, 4th, and 5th chakras may be blocked, so you may work to address those areas, but in reality they are but a symptom of a larger problem: your kundalini is being strangled. Take a look at the picture below to see what I mean.
Targeting specific chakras is helpful, yes, but you also must think about the way all of these areas connect. Fascia is one reason for multiple chakra blockages. Fascia is the connective tissue that sits under your skin and on top of your muscles. When healthy, it aides in structural support and transports essential nutrients and even hormone fluids. When dysfunctional, however, it becomes thick, rigid, and straight up blocks transport of said nutrients, blood flow and oxygen, blocks nerve function, and causes pain.
There are many reasons we develop tight, rigid, thick fascia but a primary cause that I do not see anyone speaking about is unlearned lessons and core wounds. Let me explain. Like many of my clients, those who come to me for help with thyroid diseases have had trouble speaking, expressing themselves, indulging their voice or creativity, or facing punishment if they do speak. They are such beautiful, intelligent, highly aware people but they see themselves as stupid, inadequate, broken, and unable to be trusted. They have worked hard to keep other people’s realities afloat and in doing so, suppressed theirs so it no longer exists. You would think this is all about emotional and spiritual well-being. In fact, though, your emotions and life experiences generate a physical stress response that develops bad fascia or fascial adhesions. How is this possible, you ask?
Imagine you are an empathic person in a family of non-empaths. Perhaps you were born highly sensitive and intuitive, though you do not know this about yourself (most of my clients fit this bill). You watch as your family shoots down ideas that do not align with their preexisting beliefs (be it religious, economic, political, etc). You watch as those who “play the 3D game” well get rewarded, liked, and adored. You see that those who do not get punished — shaming, spanking, neglect. You question your value and worth because who you are and what you desire out of life and are oppositional odds to everything in your environment. Unless you are a very strong personality, you will go within, get quiet, and choke back your voice — literally. You will tense your vocal chords, cry quietly (tensing the whole time), sneeze or cough quietly to avoid being noticed, never raise your hand or chime in because you don’t know if what you have to say will be accepted, and overall do not exercise your throat in normal ways, only tensing as, well, external tensions arise.
Or maybe you have been exposed to heinous secrets a family member is hiding. You know the truth, though they don’t know you do, and you feel conflicted about saying something to stop the immoral behavior versus not saying something because you don’t want to rock the boat. Each time the truth verges on coming out of you, or each time you are exposed to the lie, you tense up your throat and vocal chords further in anticipation of the punishment that will ensue. Over years and years, more and more bad fascia will develop over your throat. It becomes tighter and tighter, more and more restricted the less you use it. You will also become prone to throat infections or other E/N/T problems, trouble swallowing, choking on food, etc the less the area is used. It is about life lessons that keep getting put off (finally saying something, in this case), and the physical response that ensues. And to take it one step further, this is likely an age-old pattern that has presented itself in every lifetime but you never thought to resolve, and it has come back around for another look this lifetime. That is why it is such a trigger. Can you see the connection?
Now, what this has to do with kundalini is that you never had a problem with too little energy to begin with. You have always had enough energy because you were born with a full, complete, divine spark of energy. But the energy was being misdirected into tension patterns instead of healthy expressions because of the dysfunctional system you have had to play along in just to survive. All of your built up energy became tension that eventually caused physical dysfunction. The good news is that you can correct this and re-awaken your kundalini — not just individual chakra centers — for total healing and peace.
How to awaken your kundalini energy:
Let go of all societal expectations. Do not be or do what you have been told. Do what comes naturally from your soul and brings you joy.
Release all lower vibration emotions such as fear, shame, anxiety, resentment, anger, etc.
Live a big, bold life. Do not play small for anyone.
Do not hold back positive emotions such as joy, excitement, love, etc.
Get rid of energy vampires and toxic personalities who are draining your energy and causing tension.
Accept the bad things that have happened to you. Make peace.
Right the wrongs in your life. This allows you to learn the lessons.
Let go of attachments to your flaws.
Embrace your beauty and begin to only see yourself this way.
Rewrite every negative story you have ever been told about yourself.
Pursue your dreams head on. Live your life purpose.
Release past-life patterns that are playing out in the present. They are but a remnant of the distant past.
Do energy clearings, including sage, Reiki, mantras, positive alchemy, etc.
Improve your diet. Eat living foods which contain a life force all their own.
Drink alkaline water.
Eliminate parasites and other infections such as SIBO and candida.
Cook for yourself at home. Infuse your food with love.
Eat less fried and processed food.
Eat slowly and take time to enjoy and digest properly.
Do self-care rituals such as massage, exercise, sex, baths, naps, etc.
Cleanse your space (deep clean, de-clutter, organize, rearrange, sage, light candles, etc).
Do myofascial release, especially around the chakra centers, but on your body as a whole.
Your intuition is your power. It is knowing without knowing why (though later on, with careful observation, you do learn why). It is trusting your gut, your first instinct, despite the many ways you are talked out of it. When honored and honed, it is also speaking off the cuff, acting from the hip, and not giving a damn about what anyone else demands. It is following your natural internal cycles and rhythms and indulging them rather than being overtaken with shame, guilt, or fear. It is recognizing the cognitive dissonance around you and accepting it for what it is: a lie.
Perhaps you are at a point in your life where you have seen how suppressing this truth has made you sick time and time again. Perhaps you are at a place where you want to regain the power that was taken from you. As you work to regain your intuitive abilities, your health will improve, plain and simple. Suppressing it for years and years has landed you in a bad place. It steals your joy, zaps your energy, blocks chakra activation, and creates physical and emotional blockages. It makes you a robot, or zombie, living a life you never chose (one that others chose for you), unable to self-actualize to your greatest good and purpose here. It keeps you stressed and down, drifting through life rather than facing it head on.
Without a robust intuition, you are at the mercy of others. You are a pawn in their game because they know they can get you to do whatever it is they please with a simple shame game, nasty look, and word of discord. They know your wounds and the wound of blocked intuition tells a woman she is powerless, cannot make her own decisions, cannot trust herself, and can only ever receive external validation based on the expectations of those around her. “Look this way” it tells you. “Act this way” it demands. “Do this for me” it says. How wrong they all are.
If you want to tap into your intuition to begin living an authentic life you must overcome great — huge — societal hurdles. The kind of hurdles that are the scariest things for you. The things that will take you to your lowest places. The kind of challenges that require you stop accepting any form of external validation and finally go it alone, with only yourself as your compass: “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”
Here’s the thing: we have all been born into a masculine system. It assigns men or more masculine personalities certain inherent rights at birth. Rights that give them permission while the feminine’s are taken or hidden. Rights that make a man feel worthy, because he has someone to always subjugate. It is the man who forces his way past you and expects you to move out of his way. The man who calls you a child (or treats you like one) despite the many strong things you have done in your time on earth. The man who expects of you without giving in return. The thing is, this system is but a facade on stilts. And the only things keeping it upright are secrets and power plays.
For a feminine to access her intuition, she has to uproot the system. It is not enough to trust herself, she must also act on it. She has to tell the truth (aka: spill the secrets she has buried in her blood and bones and pretended not to know) and she has to own her birthright power. In doing so, she will make enemies. You cannot be afraid of making enemies. It is better to make enemies for righteous causes than have friends for sake of falsehoods. Your true intuitive nature was suppressed to make it easier for others. Stop making it easy for them. After all, all they have are secrets and ambition keeping them in power. You were born to uproot this fake system with the truth.
Here’s what keeps the feminine’s intuition suppressed:
“Be a good girl” mentality. Being a good girl is imposed on women from the earliest age. Societal expectations have told you who you are to be, not the other way around. Chances are, no one has ever asked you who you are and sought to understand you. It has always been you working hard to meet someone else’s expectations of who you should be. Many women are told to “keep sweet”, aren’t allowed to indulge their sexuality without public humiliation and punishment, run on a never-ending hamster wheel of self-deprecation and self-woe over their physical appearance, and are kept distracted by the demands of judgment from others for decades at a time.
Maybe you haven’t had experiences so dramatic, or maybe you have despite thinking you lead a “normal” or “progressive” life. When a woman is told to “keep sweet”, “be a good girl”, whether verbally or through implication, she cannot tap into her intuitive abilities because the yearnings of the soul will never be in complete alignment with a religious text or societal expectation. It is a box that keeps her trapped because to break free would require not caring about who she has been told to be — the scariest thing ever. She’s never seen anyone else escape so she thinks, “I must be the only one” — every other woman is so good at being good.
Fear over making toxic masculines grow. Many intuitive women have been raised in homes and families in which there was very strong, heavy, and toxic masculine energy. The father was the head of the family, he controlled you and others with anger, resentment, punishment, fear, and threats. Maybe you were spanked. Maybe everyone was so emotionally unavailable that you were never able to share your feelings without fear of punishment. Nothing feminine was ever honored and in fact, it was shamed when exposed. If this is the case, chances are you have quietly accepted this behavior from others your entire life without realizing it. It has likely driven you deeper and deeper into pain because you do not believe you can trust yourself without someone becoming angry or without becoming ashamed for your true nature. In reality, this is more about a fear of forcing them to grow and change. Growth and change happen as a result of duality or polarity. If you were only ever exposed to masculine energy, while the feminine remained hidden, you couldn’t develop your intuitive abilities because you’ve only ever been indoctrinated rather than allowed to explore.
The problem is, toxic masculines do not want to grow and change because that would allow the balance of power to be equal. They would have to rescind their role as dictator and allow others to have power in the relationship. They would have to be exposed to new information, to see things differently, to hear another side to the story. The feminine has been so fearful of the retaliation that could occur if she did speak her truth and therefore, force someone else to see things from her perspective. Please note that women can exhibit these behaviors as much as men, it is only the system I am referring to here.
You make people question their preconceived notions of what life should be. Go to school, get a job, get married, have kids, live happily ever after is what we have been taught will make you successful, respected, and happy. Up, up, and up like a data chart with an ascending arrow. “Buy low, sell high!” and the whole bit. The truth is that life is a series of ups and downs, zigs and zags, stops and starts, then stops again, messes and spills, blood, sweat and tears, broken glass, and full glasses. Following your intuition will result in a messy but fulfilling life. You get to choose which you prefer: neat and tidy but boring and unfulfilling and disconnected, or messy as fuck and the greatest adventure you could have ever imagined. The experiences allow you to develop your intuition, plain and simple. Without raw, life-shattering experiences you learn little to nothing. When others see you having said raw experiences, they get uncomfortable because they’re too messy. They can’t understand you and they don’t want to “catch” whatever it is you have. You can forgo their judgments and perceptions and chase that adventure down, live the journey, accept the ups and downs, and become intuitive. The choice is yours.
Dumbing yourself down. I think this is pretty self-explanatory but there is a long list of reasons feminines dumb themselves down. When they do, they believe others to be superior, know more, be more trustworthy or intelligent than themselves. This leads to more silence and self-doubt.
“My ideas are stupid”
“Everyone else knows more than me”
“I’m not skilled enough to contribute”
“Other people get rewarded and I never do; I must be wrong”
“They have more training than me”
“I don’t have book knowledge”
“I’ve always been told I was wrong”
“I’m just supposed to be a pretty face”
“My intelligence will intimidate them”
“My intelligence will threaten their egos”
“My intelligence makes me less attractive”
“I will face consequences if I speak up”
“I can be pretty or smart, but not both”
Keep in mind your intuitive inkling may be different than others’ ideas and opinions, but that doesn’t make it wrong. It only means you are escaping from the box while they aren’t aware they are in it.
The “you fought back” abuse fallacy. Like I said, it is not enough to trust your intuition, you also must put it into action. When you do, the messages you receive will be so contradictory to everything around you, it will launch you into action. You will begin to see the injustices, the unfairness, the abuse. You will want to do something about it. When you do, you will be called a problem for acknowledging the problems in the first place. You will be blamed. You will be put on trial. Your every mannerism, smile, word, will be cross examined and dissected. They will find reasons not to like you. They will find reasons why the joy in your soul is dark rather than light. They will take a flashlight to your skin to find the “moles”. “It was her intuition’s fault” they will say. Don’t let this blameshifting stop you — trust yourself and do the things anyway. It is a sign you are on the right track.
And finally — when I think of intuition and the feminine experience, I think of this quote from one of my favorite books. Keep it in your heart. Refer to it often. The feminine intuition is that mythical creature. You only know it when you feel it — somewhere in the wild, unexpectedly and for better or worse, it changes you forever. Most people have forgotten it exists. But if you’ve caught a glimpse, you know it is real. “I am the only Unicorn there is? The last? That cannot be. Why would I be the last? What do men know? Because they have seen no unicorns for a while does not mean we have all vanished. We do not vanish. There has never been a time without unicorns. We live forever! We are as old as the sky, old as the moon! We can be hunted, trapped; we can even be killed if we leave our forests, but we do not vanish.”
We are all here on Earth to learn lessons. In the past we had the ability to overlook this option and live in lower 3D vibrations where we distracted ourselves with entertainment, illusions, and projections. We’ve pursued comfort, luxury, and pleasure at the expense of the lessons our souls signed up for so long ago. But 5D ascension has arrived and we are being asked to finally choose between the two. Many believe we are here by chance, for no reason, beings stuck on a ball floating in the ether by pure luck. Because of this, seeing signs, synchronicities, and purpose becomes nearly impossible through the contrarian ego. Once you begin to understand who you are on a soul level, your life path, and therefore what you are here to do you can see the bigger picture and how it is all connected and orchestrated.
The biggest part of learning our life lessons involves engaging with other people we have known so many times before. These are the most challenging relationships you will ever have, whether you are close to these people or not because they are karmic partners intent on teaching us the lessons. Without karmic relationships, resolving your karma would be damn near impossible. It is the struggle within the relationships that forces us to reflect, grow, see the interconnectedness, and activate your chakras through the principle of the opposite.
I can’t tell you how many times you have been here before and how many go-rounds you have had at this thing called life. I cannot even gauge that for myself though I have had past life recall of several difficult lifetimes I have had to relive this go round and can read this on others as well in Energy Readings. That said, imagine you have been here hundreds of times in various incarnations. Because of this, the chances you are in relationships with people you have never known before are very slim. This explains why some people are repelled or attracted to each other; why there are longstanding feuds and resentments that seem to stem from nowhere, and why we get triggered when the same pattern repeats itself in the here and now. It also explains why someone can abuse you or display narcissistic tendencies, while they treat others well and others look to them like a god. It just doesn’t add up otherwise.
I want you to know — while you may be blood related to some of these people in this lifetime, anyone who is unable to grow with you or holds you back from personal growth is but a karmic attachment. I’m not advocating dropping friends or family left and right, but I am advocating putting your health above other’s expectations and bad behavior. Instead of feeling obligated to people, remember that you are obligated to yourself and your life’s purpose. Until that clicks for you, you won’t resolve your karmic debt and find mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual peace. From here, you have two options: grow with them (ideally, try at this until you can’t try any longer — until you are lead to see it is a dead end), or grow without them (this will come about once you have exhausted all options and see they are holding back your ascension). As always, the choice is yours.
Also know that it is possible to resolve karma between people but it requires all parties to be on board to change the habits and cycles into healthy, functional relationships. More times than not, however, that doesn’t happen. However, don’t let that keep you from trying. Empaths have been trying for so long and my point here is that you cannot keep putting your happiness on hold because you don’t want to give up on people you love. You can love them but not love the behavior. If they truly love you, they will actively work to resolve the karma. It is possible, it is just not common.
You may wonder the differences between healthy relationships and karmic relationships. Here’s how to know who in your life is a true teacher, no matter how negative the relationship, or no matter how happy it sometimes is:
The relationship has never had true stability; it is constant cycles of happy/sad, make-up/break-up type thing.
You have never felt at ease in the relationship.
You cannot be your true self; you have to change yourself or hold back.
They don’t have your back. They throw you under the bus.
They think of themselves before you or others involved. (Note: this can be done in a healthy way — you should put yourself first, but from a place of boundaries, not selfishness).
They gossip about you to others instead of resolving problems.
You cannot communicate — it is as if you are speaking a different language. Trying to resolve problems always ends in arguments and nothing gets accomplished.
When you want to grow and change for the better, they hold you back. They become insecure, jealous, and needy or purposefully sabotage your efforts.
They withhold love or connection to keep you small.
You have a hard time getting away from these people. They always draw you back in (with money, sex, make-up/break-up cycles, and other forms of manipulation).
They treat you like you are less than them, you will never be good enough, you are always having to earn their approval despite you being worthy in your own right.
They will not address problems with you — there is an amnesia in the relationship in which things are glossed over, never spoken about, and swept under the rug. This is because if problems were acknowledged, it would open Pandora’s box (aka: karma).
Deep down, you don’t trust them or they don’t trust you.
They make you second guess or talk you out of your intuition.
They hide and keep secrets that are detrimental to the relationship. Or they force you to do this for fear of losing their approval.
There are unspoken expectations in the relationship that you have to live up to or there is punishment involved.
They keep you low vibrational — you don’t feel well around them. Your health may have also been severely affected.
You live out very obvious archetypes that have nothing to do with the here and now (ex: slave/slave master, king/queen/peasant, parent/child, brother/sister, lovers, teacher/student, etc.).
I’m going to keep this one short and sweet. The time we’ve come into requires discernment and courage. It requires us to hone our spiritual abilities in order to succeed. The undoing of karma we have been witnessing in it’s sped-up form over the last year + is causing many highly sensitive people to go inward in order to understand who they are, why they are here, and how to self-actualize in the midst of external chaos. Your problems are coming to the surface for a reason. Things seem hard for a reason. You can no longer ignore them and call it “living”. You need to do the soul work to resolve them now.
The term “spiritual ascension” gets thrown around a lot but ultimately it is the process of undoing that which is dysfunctional, righting the wrongs, learning to trust yourself and your intuition or higher power, elevating to new levels of mental and emotional awareness, and becoming who you really are — against all odds. It is so hard — as I’ve said before — and it can feel like it could kill you. I promise you it will not. I promise you on the other side of it is peace. On the other side is an understanding of just what you are doing here to begin with. It is a way to exit the 3D reality (only understanding and believing that which you can clearly see or have been told to see) and into 4 and 5D realms in which the soul takes the lead rather than the physical needs and senses.
I have written extensively about these topics in isolation but I believe putting them all together, in one place, can help many. This is what all of the great prophets, saviors, and “masters” have taught us. I have learned their words to be true through life experiences. Likely you have as well. Sadly interpretations of their words do not always lead us back to their original intent. So here is a checklist for you.
How to spiritually ascend:
- Identify your karma and begin correcting or reversing it. (aka: your core wounds and life lessons)
- Let go of all attachments to people, places, things, needs, and expectations. “What is yours will not go past you” so there is no need to stress about clinging to that which you desire.
- Eliminate dense, harmful energies of the past from your mind and body. (Use energy work, EFT, myofascial release, massage, stretching, etc)
- Transition from your stressed-out lizard brain into your prefrontal cortex.
- Heal your physical body with nutrition and other holistic therapies.
- Stand up for yourself and your path at the cost of everything. Stand your ground against energy vampires who lead you away from it or thrown wrenches in your path.
- Pursue truth, justice, and love. Avoid those who do not.
- Trust your intuition or higher power. Do not take advice from people who lead you away from your inner voice.
- Begin to read the energy in each situation you are in. Discern whether it is healthy or not.
- Limit external exposures to pointless groupthink stimuli (mindless entertainment, distractions, etc).
- Give up on hopes and dreams that have nothing to do with your soul. Avoid superficiality and climbing the ladder to success if it leads you nowhere real.
- Accept that ultimately you are here to go at it alone because it is your path and yours alone.
- Open your mind to new ideas. Do not accept or reject anything at face value. Give yourself time to come to conclusions no matter how obvious or outlandish.
- Question everything.
- Develop empathy, help those in need.
- Tap into your subconscious mind for direction. If you don’t feel you can readily do this, use meditation, herbs, and other relaxation methods. Or work with me in Energy Readings.
- Activate your chakras.
- Leave abuse.
- Get out of twin flame relationships.
- Uncover your past lives and put the pieces of your personality together once and for all.
- Wake up out of the spiritual amnesia.
- Do not overlook unethical deeds for someone else’s benefit.
- Let your light shine.
- Pursue what you are good at and here to accomplish.
- Love yourself and others unconditionally.
A little-known secret among highly sensitive people is that they become easily overwhelmed. This may be something you’ve worked hard to hide over the years or perhaps you are unaware it is a major source of stress. You likely become overwhelmed by the emotions, feelings or subconscious cues you pick up on others, yes, but you also become overwhelmed by the constant sensory input you receive because you are picking up more data than the average person. And until you learn what to do with this information, you’ll be stressed by it.
As a highly sensitive person you are like a computer constantly receiving information that you begin to process, internalize, store, and try to make sense of despite it contrasting with your internal operating system. Additionally, you are surrounded by many people who are either narcissistic or not empathic which means you’ll be the only one noticing the data to begin with. This generates cognitive dissonance which adds to your burden and stress level.
In fact, if you are empathic there’s a good chance you slipped through the educational or medical cracks and were never given an appropriate diagnosis or support for how your brain and senses work differently. That’s not to say that every empath needs or requires a diagnosis (sometimes it can be counterproductive), but to say that we do operate differently and often are unable to fit into the left-brained groupthink which costs us relationships, educational or career goals, and more. Some such diagnoses includes high functioning Asperger’s or other forms of Autism, sensory processing disorders, developmental delays, auditory or visual disabilities, and more. It can also include “secondary” conditions such as anxiety, depression, OCD, hyper activity, belly aches and G.I. distress, adrenal fatigue, blood sugar imbalances, and perhaps even PTSD. By and large, we get overlooked because we try not to stand out.
These talented people often get overlooked because of their high emotional or intellectual intelligence (“if you’re smart or too sensitive, there is no need to help” is the groupthink) and because of their uncanny ability to blend in. Because of these things, your family, teachers, or medical providers probably were led to believe you possessed no neurodiversity that should be supported and encouraged, rather than ignored to your own detriment.
Like I’ve mentioned before, in addition to attending nutrition school years ago, I also have a Bachelor’s degree in Education which led me to work with children with disabilities over the years. It was frustrating for me to witness brilliant children who both had clinical diagnoses (Autism, PDD-NOS, ADD, ODD, etc) and no formal diagnosis written off as behavioral problems when in fact the behavior of the adults or other people in these children’s lives were creating the environment which caused these kids to become overwhelmed and unable to cope. While, yes I certainly understand this is not always the case because much can be traced back to genetics, heredity, chemical exposure, dietary allergens, and more, by and large, if we begin to look at children or highly sensitive adults as products of their environment, we would see there are safe and effective holistic solutions to help the whole person in challenging environments rather than only rely on heavy discipline, neglect, and brain-altering medications.
Sometimes the triggers for these kids was as simple as being rushed to put shoes on or head out the door with no warning. Other times it was loud chaotic background noise which set them off. Sometimes it was doing something out of the ordinary which caused their internal compass to start going haywire and left them feeling lost because they couldn’t anticipate what would be expected of them or how to do something that others considered “common sense” (side note: groupthink “common sense” is never “common” to a highly sensitive person; it’s viewed as completely backwards because it discounts the intuitive human experience to appease the narcissists in power). Often it was being forced to touch “strange” textures with their hands or feet, or the way their clothes rubbed on them. Other times, they were frustrated with adults and authority figures who could not perceive their needs or who directed them around like little robots with no personal freedom or choice. Ultimately, they couldn’t deal with the build up of internal energy they got from the external stimuli. It felt as if they were about to burst, which spilled over into their attitude or behavior. Outbursts were a way of releasing that which they had been unfairly given or a way for them to express that which they couldn’t put their finger on.
It was amazing to see how small simple and strategic changes made huge differences in the lives of these kids. Giving them a heads up, explaining what would transpire or what was expected of them, allowing them to choose clothing that felt comfortable to them, allowing them to move around freely, allowing them to make choices for themselves when appropriate, and more. You see, the cultural expectations were by and large the problem; not the individuals. These people couldn’t be standardized and succeed, unlike many others.
As an adult, your sensory triggers may include being in crowded spaces with lots of people, having little to no privacy, being checked in on constantly, little freedom to do things in a way which makes intuitive sense to you, being rushed, bright lights or loud noises, incessant repetitive movements, pointless soulless conversations, energetic strings or expectations from others that leave you feeling trapped, being backed into proverbial ethical corners, feeling misunderstood, or not knowing how to communicate what you actually want or need, and more.
Your triggers will be unique to you and your life experiences thus far. For example, if you always ate in a rush at family meals growing up, you may prefer to eat alone so you don’t start picking up on external sensory cues that cause you to “speed up” and feel internal tension in your gut or kidneys/adrenals which wreak havoc on your digestion and nervous system. You may hate rooms with no airflow, feel claustrophobic often, or refuse to travel by airplane. Or you may hate shopping because of the crowds or feeling like you are not trusted by employees to purchase the goods before leaving the store (you’d be surprised how many people subconsciously feel that way). You may always be looking for an “out”: the exit, the place to hide and replenish, a calm amidst the storm.
In the end, highly sensitive children and highly sensitive adults are not too dissimilar: they both take in much more stimuli (through their sight, hearing, taste, smell, touch, temperature, proprioception, facial cues and body language from others, physical pains in their bodies, emotions of others, expectations of others, clutter in home or school environments, and more). In fact, both are reading subconscious cues without realizing it. And they are unable to reconcile how they feel inside with what the external stimuli is demanding of them. In the end, we internalize such stress as physical pains, feelings of sadness, directionlessness, hopelessness, confusion, extreme fatigue, and isolation or loneliness, despite perhaps trying to hide it.
In order to overcome the sensory overload that leads to chaos, confusion, stress, and overwhelming burdens, first identify that you posses these abilities. Without recognizing them, you will end up a slave to them. You pick up on more external and internal data than the average person who is not empathic. Bottom line.
Next, change any external circumstances to make them more comfortable for you. You likely have been discouraged from doing this thus far. As an empath, your instinctual reaction is to make life easier for others, at your own expense. Do you need to find a job in which you don’t sit in an office or cubicle all day? Do you need more time to eat lunch? Do you need to find people on your wavelength to connect with, rather than changing your energy to build superficial friendships? Do you need to assign one day a week to chores or other necessary tasks so they don’t feel like a weight hanging over your head all week?
Finally, once you recognize this ability, you can begin disconnecting yourself from the stimuli you receive. Unless something pertains to you, your situation in life and relationships, or how you can help others/the world, let it go. Just because you recognize it does not mean it is your responsibility to address. Ideally, you would address anything in your life that causes you inescapable pain (such as relationship problems, unethical choices by others, and anything else that is keeping you from self-actualizing). However, sometimes you also have to learn the art of letting go and letting others stew in their own unhealthy subconscious habits. After all, it is theirs to deal with at the end of the day, not yours. You have simply assumed this burden for yourself because of your sensitive nature. And you can still be kind and loving and change yourself to make your true nature work better for you.