Empath sabotage type 6: flipping and foggy mirroring

Being empathic, intuitive, or highly sensitive means you can read the subconscious mind, plain and simple — whether you realize it or not — because the subconscious is always where the truth lies and you have spent your entire life working hard to find the truth on a planet full of illusions, projections, and distractions. As such, you are able to read subconscious patterns of thought and behavior on others through body language, tone of voice or specific intonation, word choice, energy, behavior, and more nuanced cues others don’t pick up on.

If you have not recognized your ability to perform this skill, you may end up drained by it. That’s because the narcissistic personalities and the non-empaths around you operate on the underlying assumption that the ego is the truth while you believe the subconsciousness to be truth. This results in great forms of denial or cognitive dissonance that you internalize into your body as stress. Over time, this will make you very sick. 

Think of the ego and your empathy/intuition at far opposite sides on the same spectrum. Empathy and intuition exists on the far left side of this spectrum because that is how we all start out as babies. We operate solely on our intuitive nature — we feel hungry, we cry; we feel gassy, we cry; we feel joyful, we babble and smile; we want to understand something so we touch it or put it in our mouths. Young children do not question their natural feelings and responses — they just do it. As time goes on, however, parents and caregivers teach children that their feelings make them too needy, too annoying, too defiant, and children become products of the demands of their parent’s ego. They do what the parent wants or they get punished — sometimes in small ways (a parent says “no” angrily or makes a disapproving look), and sometimes in big ways (spankings, shaming, isolation, or neglect). In order to tap back into empathy and intuition, we have to become childlike again and ditch the ego. We have to get back in touch with that child-like innocence in order to surrender to the magic and live from the soul not the mind.

The ego, on the other hand, exists on the far right side of the spectrum. Like I say above, as we go on in life, pain piled on top of more pain can cause us to become hateful, react in toxic ways, and stunt our spiritual evolution. If we don’t choose wisely, we start to act out these pains on other people. Again, whether you call it narcissism or the ego, it’s almost one in the same: purposely inflicting pain to try to make ourselves look good, feel good and protect the subconscious feelings from surfacing (and therefore, never resolve our karma).

The ego is generally what is projected and believed as the “truth” in our groupthink world because the ego is oh-so obvious. But you, as an intuitive person, inherently believe the subconscious. This can leave you feeling crazy, wrong, and not in touch with reality because it appears as if no one else sees the truth. You have to learn to trust the subconscious — the underpinnings — instead of the ego’s obvious story in order to see the truth but also not drive your health into the ground. 

It is interesting to note, however, that empaths and highly sensitive people posses our own unique way of dealing with the ego. It’s the way we hide our subconscious mind on purpose because we instinctively know who we really are may not be accepted, welcomed, or wanted. Whereas narcissists are operating from their ego 24/7 because it gives them power, empaths are operating from their subconscious mind most often but because we want to blend in, we learn to hide our true nature on purpose — not to harm anyone but to protect ourselves. It’s what I call “flipping” and it is where an empath purposefully flips their ego and their subconscious mind in order to blend in. It’s where we act more like our narcissistic culture than our true empathic nature because we believe that is what is expected of us, despite it causing us great pain. 

When I come in contact with other highly intuitive people, I see they do this often. We tell white lies, we pretend like everything is fine, we nod in agreement, we go along with what others tell us even when we know in our hearts it is wrong. It is silently acknowledging the truth but appeasing the egoic demands of others based on fear or cognitive dissonance (not trusting yourself). Again, we understand how to literally flip the subconscious and the ego in order to blend in to not appear “different” because empaths naturally operate from their subconscious mind unlike others and that can be a liability. We want to hide in order to protect. I believe that many who have had past lives as both slaves and royalty understand how to do this because it works as an adaptation skill that is useful in abusive and/or diplomatic situations.

There are also people who flip their subconscious and ego for more devious purposes. This includes telling you what you want to hear in order to falsely earn your trust, deceive you, and get their way. Some narcissists are good at doing this because they have learned how to prey on empathic people — making them feel important and telling them what they have desperately wanted to hear their whole lives: “You’re so special”, “We are so similar”, “You are important”. We have to learn to feel a person’s intention and watch their behavior in order to discern the truth. Are they flipping their subconscious and ego because they want something from you, they want to hide their bad behavior, or hurt someone? These are all indications that they flip for power and control, not self protection.

When you sense another empath is doing this, it can feel like a mindfuck because you are feeling one truth on a person, but they are intentionally flipping it to seem like another. The difference between this and other people who hide their subconscious is that the empathic “flippers” do this intentionally for self-preservation and to keep the peace, or feel out a situation to see where they fit in, not to harm or deceive for purposes of power and control.

There is another element to this phenomenon and it’s what I call “foggy mirroring”. It’s where an empath naturally reflects back to a narcissist or non-empath what the person wants to hear or see. Imagine you just stepped out of a steamy shower. The mirror is fogged up and you can’t see yourself clearly. This is where we act like narcissists, or like narcissism is acceptable, in order to prevent someone else from having to face the harsh reality of their behavior, from having to see themselves for what they really are. It is like giving someone a free pass on their hateful actions because we don’t want to have to call them out on it and face the social consequences. So we affirm others for the sake of giving them what they want. Empaths are natural ego mirrors, so we have become accustomed to dimming this part of our energy or personality in order to not have to tell the harsh truth. If you’ve heard the words “let your light shine” or “don’t hide your light”, know that it means you must stop hiding your internal compass and high vibration for the sake of those operating from lower energies. The world is changing and we need to begin reflecting them back to themselves.

Flipping and foggy mirroring are very similar but the major differences are that flipping stems from high degrees of cognitive dissonance or the desire to hide our sacred inner world, whereas foggy mirroring is about actively trying to fit into a world where you feel you just don’t belong. Ultimately, I don’t believe either are healthy. Unfortunately, most empaths do these things without fully being aware of it and live their lives appeasing others at the expense of themselves. Over time, your physical and emotional health will begin to suffer greatly because in the end, you are living a lie and unable to self-actualize.

To overcome these dysfunctional behavioral patterns, try these things:

  • Tell the truth, the hard whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
  • Do not lower your energy to appease anyone.
  • Create boundaries so that you do not automatically affirm the ego of those around you. If they are wrong, they are wrong.
  • Say no when you need to.
  • Take time away from the world at home or in nature to re-calibrate. 
  • Reflect and connect the dots in your life.
  • Do not compromise yourself ever again.
  • Reflect back to narcissists the pain they have put you through so they learn cause and effect and so that they learn you will not be a foggy mirror for them.
  • Get rid of spiritual narcissists in your life — show them the door.
  • Find other empathic people with which to affirm your truth.
  • Trust your subconscious mind above your conscious mind.
  • Stop worrying about fitting in. If people don’t like you for who you really are, they are not your friend or ally and you should not change for their acceptance.
  • Stop people pleasing. You can be kind and loving without being a doormat.
  • Decide what you want in life and pursue it until you get it.
  • Trust yourself.
  • Do not protect someone else’s lie.
  • Stop seeking advice from people who talk you out of yourself.

Ready to reclaim your health and self? Click here to learn more about Nutrition Consultations, Energy Readings, and Body Readings. 

Astrology is helping you overcome your karma

I have to include a blog about astrology here because it ties into your karma (life lessons and core wounds) and intuition. Now, I don’t believe in the “fortune-cookie” astrology we grew up accustomed to reading — the once-monthly three sentence blurbs that illuminate your romance stars for the month, tell you how much money you will bring in, or use tired cliches to inspire you. No, instead I am talking about real astrology coming from trained or intuitive astrologers. There is a science and a methodology to astrology and while I don’t claim to know it all, what I do know is that astrological events absolutely tie into how you are feeling and what you are learning, and therefore how much subconscious baggage you can work through (if you choose to). 

When the moon, sun, and planets are in certain positions, that is, as they journey through the signs of the zodiac, it forces us to process undigested emotions and experiences from both this lifetime and past lifetimes. It forces raw emotions and karmic debts to the surface. Some of those emotions are rooted in experiences in this lifetime and some are soul memories from the far past. Either way, they are holding us back and thus, both are important to reconcile and resolve.

For example, if the moon is in Aquarius, you may feel forward thinking and gain intuitive insights in the flash of an eye. If the moon is in Pisces, you may feel introspective and have intuitive dreams and visions. Or, if the moon is in Aries, you may feel fiery and ready to take on the world because you suddenly realize you deserve it.

This is also true when planets go into retrograde and it feels as if we are taking one step forward and two steps backwards — you are asked to process that which you have avoided and this is all for good reason. It helps us learn instead of avoid. It also helps us trust in the perfect timing of the universe. If we use astrology as a tool to guide us as to what we might feel or experience on a given day, we can see the things we are already naturally feeling and experiencing have us on the right path. It’s a form of confirmation. Unfortunately, many use astrology to force themselves into situations or feelings that do not come naturally — and that is not a good use of this science. 

There are certain astrological phenomena we can consistently count on: new moons and full moons. These of course will happen, in general, at least twice per month as the moon cycles from waxing to waning, waning to waxing. Some months may have more or less of these, such as months that have rare additional “blue moons” or fewer because of a leap month.

New moons are always a time of new growth and change. Full moons are a time to reflect and be introspective and avoid heightened drama. Instead of operating on old storylines where, for example, a woman’s menstrual cycle makes her “PMS” and feel “crazy” emotions which can create tension in relationships, we can begin to see that whatever comes up around these moon cycles (whether you are a man or a woman) is for your greater good; it is part of your lesson that no longer can be repressed. It is a way to process undigested leftover emotional baggage that is coming to the surface and clear it for good or make it better for ourselves. Sadly, many feel shame over such emotions rising and discount it as hormonal or mental health concerns. 

Additionally, narcissistic, controlling, unstable, and toxic personalities can become more active and erratic around the time of certain astrological events. In other words, the way that our solar system operates can make the people who are in your life for the purpose of helping you fulfill your karma can temporarily act up and make your life feel worse. I have observed that narcissistic people become more cruel, domineering, and vicious during these astrological cycles. This is especially true of narcissistic family or in workplaces — I observed every time there was a full moon or big astrological event (such as a retrograde or solar flare), chaos always ensued and problems arose — with the website, phone system, interpersonal communication, and so on. No one wanted to be blamed or fired so it was a merry-go-round of scapegoating that took place. No one understood that it was largely out of our control and we were being asked to break bad habits and create healthy systems and dialogue.

You may also begin to notice that important meetings or other life events just so happen to be planned within 0-3 days of astrological changes. Important work meetings, social gathering, and contractual agreements often occur around the time of the moons, for example. It’s no coincidence — it’s a subconscious cue to overcome the karma and stressors in the situation. 

As an empath or highly sensitive person, you may also begin to experience physical symptoms when the planets, moon, and sun shift. Sometimes this is based on the sign the moon is currently in, such as when the moon is in Aries, you may experience an uptick in headaches or sinus infections — anything associated with your head region. If there is a big full or new moon coming up, you may have a sudden increase in symptoms such as nausea, fatigue, parasites acting up, dizziness, and muscle weakness. These kinds of physical complaints will be very individualized but just check in with your body during these times and know that whatever is taking place around the astrology of the moment is no mistake and is working to cleanse your system of that which does not serve you.

I have had clients come to me perplexed asking why they suddenly couldn’t sleep, felt awful, had chaos ensue around them, or felt overly emotional at certain times. Inevitably, it always connected back to the stars. Once they realized this, they gained so much understanding of themselves and their lives and felt they had much more control over their health and wellness. Going forward, they could connect the dots for themselves. At such times, life can feel very chaotic and scary. Keep in mind, however, even these situations are pushing you closer to your karma (and overcoming it) because that is the purpose of the astrological events. If you have been building up dharma, or enlightenment and “good karma”, in this lifetime, you may not be as affected. Or conversely, you may not be affected if you have chosen to completely forgo your life path in pursuit of worldly ventures that maintain the status quo through a carefully constructed facade of “everything is fine; no problems here.”

When big astrological cycles are at play, you may also notice an uptick in deaths, freak accidents, or skeletons coming tumbling out of the closet. The best examples of this are when a major solar or lunar event takes place and suddenly a string of celebrity deaths are announced, or news reports surface about people being victims of mindless accidents like freak stabbings, shootings, or other murders. Because unstable personalities’ behavior becomes heightened during these times, strange mishaps and senseless death can abound. Those who have past life karmic bonds, even if they are strangers in this lifetime, often find their way to each other and can result in such freak accidents. As I said, this can also be a time when abuses of power and people come to the surface and the truth about certain people, governments, and businesses is revealed. The #MeToo movement is a great example of this and the catalyst was Jupiter (planet of expansion and growth) moving into Scorpio (the keeper of secrets). 

We cannot, however, force astrology — we can only use it as a tool and guide. If Venus is stationed to bring love into one’s life, it doesn’t mean it is necessarily going to happen for you. It may simply indicate you need more self-love, or that you may deepen existing relationships. We are all so different and at different points in the journey and we can be open to what is possible without expecting or demanding it, or forcing ourselves to act a certain way based on the astrology.

It is helpful to use astrology to give ourselves a heads up, if you will, about what could happen, or what is happening, not what should happen. Some people can get so wrapped up in what is happening astrologically and forget to have authentic life experiences that actually allow the astrology of the moment to work for them. We must set an intention to live authentically but not be surprised when the zodiac and planets dictate certain paths for our lives. It simply requires being open to the possibilities.

Again, I don’t know why and I don’t know how but our solar system is no mistake — it is not simply a teeming pool of carbon and matter; it is also a part of our internal operating system meant to help us evolve, trust, love and overcome our karmic debt. Choosing to recognize it and doing so is up to you. 

Ready to reclaim your health and self? Click here to learn more about Nutrition Consultations, Energy Readings, and Body Readings. 

You’re only as healthy as the life force of your food

Despite being told we “don’t know” why diseases happen or they only happen as a result of a shitty genetic Russian roulette, the truth is that illnesses come about for numerous external and internal reasons according to the individual’s gene mutations, experiences, core wounds, health history, chakra imbalances or karma, chemical exposure, and more. Therefore, the specific diet a person should be eating will vary according to this personalized history. It is why, although I believe there are dietary practices or theories that are in many ways superior to a standard western diet, there is truly no one-sized-fits-all approach. Who you are determines what you should be eating, not the other way around.

This is the standard I have held myself to over the last 8 years while directing clients in comprehensive nutritional plans. You are unique, your diet should be equally unique. Unfortunately, we are saturated with programs, books, classes, and internet experts telling us there is only one perfect diet (Paleo, Autoimmune Paleo, Keto, Vegan, etc etc). Will you trust your body or will you trust these money-making schemes?

Like I said, there are certain nutrition practices I think we should all to a large degree adopt (unless there is a specific contraindication for you personally). Take, for example, the fact that indigenous cultures and peoples instinctively understood things about food that our modern society overlooks and takes for granted: food should be consumed in its whole forms, it should come directly from the earth, it should be organic and unsprayed or not irradiated, and that you should consume what is local and available to you.

Another principle that transcends time and peoples worldwide is the idea that every meal should contain a raw or fermented food that is rich in enzymes. In Eastern Europe, we see this practice as the dollop of sour cream on the soup or the raw butter on toast; in Latino societies, we see it as the unpasteurized alcohol or fresh condiments consumed with food (tepache, chicha, salsas, curtido); in Asian cultures we see it as the fermented vegetables added to meals or used as side dishes (banchan, for example). These traditions are not “primitive”, they are ancient wisdom that should be respected. 

You see, enzymes aide in digestion and not only help your digestive tract to break down foods so they do not end up as inflammatory immune threats, they also help the kidneys and liver in processing foods. Enzymes can also be called life force or energy: they are living and alive and killed by cooking processes. Energy isn’t just about picking up the bad attitudes of others when you walk into a room, it is about what you intake in other ways, including what you eat.

When you eat dead foods, your body has to compensate for the lack of enzymes or water that would normally be found in unprocessed foods. Over time, this creates a deficit that forces your digestive tract, kidneys, and liver to work extra hard. Imagine the consequences of a lifetime of eating foods with no life force. Think back to how many modern meals we eat that are completely dead and devoid of any enzymes: fried potatoes, meats, pizza, pasteurized dairy, roasted vegetables, rice, bread, and on and on. While many of these foods can be healthy when sourced from quality purveyors, or when prepared in certain ways (grass-fed burgers, for example), they are still dead and force your body into an energetic deficit.

Another way I’ve heard “life force” interpreted when it comes to food is this: the kind of food you eat, when, how, and at which pace, affects how you feel afterwards. For example, you will feel differently eating a salad versus a bowl of pasta. One will probably leave you feeling light and energized afterwards, and one will leave you feeling stuffed, lethargic, and ready for a nap. 

In nutrition school, I also learned that coming together for a meal is about more than a social gathering; it is also an exchange of energy between the people sharing the food. Sure, you will get to talk, enjoy the people you are with, and get energized (or, perhaps, brought down) by their personal energy, but you will also end up collectively feeling the same way afterwards if you all eat the same thing. It’s one reason we congregate for meals: to get into a kind of positive groupthink with family or friends. This is in large part due to the fact that if you are sharing one big meal rather than everyone ordering something different so you will likely have similar blood sugar responses, levels of satiety, and therefore the same energy during and afterwards. On the flip side, we also know that having inhibitory responses (ie: getting stressed, nervous, holding back, being ashamed, etc) slows down the thyroid immediately and prevents thyroid hormone from being released, which aides in digestion. Food brings people together for many reasons, and energy is one of them. 

My nutrition school professor also described the energetics of food with this example: a famous and highly sensitive Japanese nutrition expert (a leader in the Macrobiotics movement) was so energetically sensitive he could always feel the energy with which the food he was eating was prepared. So once, a man tried to purposefully trick him to see what his interpretation of the food “energy” would be. This chef danced around the kitchen, clapping his hands, yelling, jumping up and down as he cooked. When the food arrived to the table, the nutrition expert took a few bites and said he was very confused with what had been done to this food. While it tasted delicious, he said the energy was chaotic and crazy and couldn’t understand what had happened while it was cooking. Despite not being in the kitchen while it was cooking, he knew something was “off”.

If you are a highly sensitive person, you may not feel the food life force quite to this degree, but your body will likely internalize it and it could stimulate or sedate you based on who prepared it and the emotion with which it was prepared. Now think about what happens when you go out to eat: the food you’re eating may be prepared by a worker who doesn’t particularly care for their job, slaps the meal together in a hurry with little love or care, and gets it to the table as quickly as possible. It’s one reason home cooked food tastes so good and we crave holiday gatherings or food from the “mother”: most likely, she put her heart and soul into it and prepared it with love.

The takeaway here is that you are an energetic being with constant energetic requirements. You must in-put good energetic sources of food, and be surrounded by positive energy while eating in order to aide the digestive tract and other vital organs. 

Ready to reclaim your health and self? Click here to learn more about Nutrition Consultations, Energy Readings, and Body Readings. 

 

 

Break your second chakra chains

fascial adhesions of the second chakra

The clients that come to me don’t only have thyroid or fifth chakra imbalances. They also carry wounds that have affected their other energy centers, much to their detriment. The second chakra isn’t spoken about too often (the fifth and sixth chakras tend to get most of the attention), but it’s equally important to your health and well being.

The the second, or sacral chakra as its called, sits a few inches under your belly button in the center of the body, at your pelvic region. It’s associated with the emotional body, pleasurable experiences, sensuality, creativity, and flexibility. If you identify as female, there is a good chance the demands and expectations of others have caused major blockages within this chakra, tightening the energetic chains and fascia around this area of your body. 

If you’re being sexually repressed, sexually abused or intimidated, or if the sexual energy in your relationship/sexual needs are not reciprocated by your partner, or you are otherwise scared to express this energy (even alone), you are scared of being sexually in control and powerful, your health will begin to suffer because it will lead to stress, tension, resentment, fear, anger, fight or flight responses, inhibitory responses, avoidance, and cognitive dissonance. 

Years ago, I worked with a nutrition client who was an Indian-American woman. Her family had immigrated from India years prior and most of them lived in the states now. Although we were working on a nutrition plan for her, inevitably she kept going back to stressors that she believed were affecting her health. In one session, she told me about her uncle’s inappropriate behavior that left her feeling victimized. Her uncle was married to her mother’s sister and a few times when no one was looking, he had pushed my client up against a wall in her home. He pressed himself into her from behind and made sexual noises into her ear, and she quietly stood there in shock and unsure of how to get out of this situation. Even though she was an adult at the time, she knew if she said something he would call her crazy and blame it on her; she would look like a harlot and the family dynamics would shift forever. When my client told her mother what had happened, her mother said, “All men do that. Please don’t tell your aunt; she would kill herself if she found out.” Talk about pressure. 

In another session, this same woman told me about her marriages. She was currently married to her second husband, but had been married years prior to a man she met in college and it was her first “true love” experience. Coming from a family with traditional values, she had waited to have sexual relations until the two were married. Once they were legally married, they moved in together and she expected typical romantic and sexual encounters with her spouse. Except, to her surprise, they never once had sex. They didn’t even consummate the marriage. He suffered from impotence but did not want to talk to her about it. They never brought it up once. She went years suffering silently as her expectations for a healthy relationship went unmet and she didn’t feel she could talk to her husband about this because of the family pressures to stay married, and because she worried she would upset him. They were little more than roommates and it was the elephant in the room.

In both of these instances, this woman’s second chakra energy was being severely blocked. She knew the truth and wanted to speak it to work through the problems, but in both cases, she was under so much pressure to remain quiet and play along that it ended up causing her serious physical complaints. She had a history of miscarriage, and even though she was now happily married with a child, she could not allow herself to relax and enjoy sex. She was always stressed, had perfectionist tendencies, over-analyzed everything, and didn’t trust people enough to open up. 

Before she spoke with me, no one had ever even confirmed how wrong and terrible these experiences were. She just thought she was the difficult, bad, and crazy one. The loss of matrilineal intuition and the dominant theme of patriarchy within the family structure had allowed my client to experience injustices she shouldn’t have. Had she been taught to trust herself and her initial reaction, she wouldn’t have questioned her own sanity — she would have questioned the behavior of those around her (her perpetrators). She had been talked out of her intuition and talked into patriarchy and it hurt her deeply for years to come.

I’ve also worked with many women who desperately wanted to get pregnant but felt their partners were not receptive to this. As a result, they felt their fertility was being controlled by someone else, or they would be (or were) punished if they got pregnant. They were typically women who experienced menstrual problems and irregularities, required surgery for cysts, fibroids, heavy bleeding, irregular ovulation, and even sometimes required hysterectomy. They often sacrificed their true desires in relationships in order to keep their spouse or partner happy, which meant giving their all to a relationship in which they wanted children but knew they would never get them. Again, the “untouchable” subject, the elephant in the room. This is unfair to you and is keeping you from self-actualizing into the person you want to be. Letting go of a relationship in which you love someone but know you cannot pursue what you really want is very difficult, but it’s a choice we all have to make if not getting what we want deep down will cause us stress, resentment, or heartache in the long run. 

Anytime there is such a “threat” — whether emotional or physical — to a particular area of the body, you will learn adaptation methods in order to cope with the stress. This means muscle tension, improper use of structures and posture, and restricted blood flow and nutrients to adjoining areas. In time, you will develop fascial adhesions (thick layers of jumbled connective tissue) that are dysfunctional and prevent you from feeling and using those affected areas of your body. The “bad” fascia becomes chains that keep you imprisoned at one level of self-actualization because you will live in a state of triggering based on your past traumas due to the feedback the fascia is giving the brain, nervous system, immune system, and hormones. 

Let me go a little bit deeper here because we’re all adults and I’m pretty sure you can handle this information — it’s life changing and will free you. It’s medical, not graphic, and we have to be real and specific if we want to heal. As you can see in the picture above, all of the bad fascia/fascial adhesions are stemming from the genitals. While genital trauma (again, emotional or physical) is the root cause, the fascia branches out and grows thick layers in neighboring areas, including the hips, stomach, lower back, and legs. 

Why would this occur? Well, if you are having inhibitory sexual responses (based on trauma, guilt, shame, fear, intimidation, etc), you will tense adjoining muscle groups and use them improperly. You could also be tensing as a form of self-protection (subconsciously protecting the vaginal area at all costs), which includes keeping legs tightly crossed and closed, rotating hips inwardly (so you can control how much of you other people are seeing or attracted to), or, you may tense your stomach muscles as your orgasm, to prevent it, or in anticipation of it. 

Do you see how it’s all connected? 

To break your second chakra chains, you must:

  • Identify where your fascial adhesions are located, then use myofascial release to restore healthy fascial function and appearance
  • Restore the balance of power in your sexual relationships where you have a say and your needs are equally met
  • Stand up for yourself when you need to and tell predators no
  • Embrace your kink (it’s a way to tap into your subconscious mind and work through stressors in a safe way)
  • Get in touch with what you actually enjoy sexually and pursue it
  • Let go of guilt, shame, and fear around sex or your sexual responses
  • Find fun, creative things to do with your time to free up stagnant energy
  • Don’t be afraid of being sexually powerful, just because you fear judgment or punishment from others (sexually powerful women are often perceived as a threat)
  • Let go of perfectionist tendencies, embrace the beauty of who you are, not who you “should” be
  • Find ways to calm your nervous system
  • Feel life, don’t just intellectually experience it
  • Practice being present

Ready to reclaim your health and self? Click here to learn more about Nutrition Consultations, Energy Readings, and Body Readings. 

 

Understanding “healthy” versus “malignant” intuition

I believe we are all born with the ability to be and to become intuitive. When I speak of a healthy intuition, I’m not referring to magic, witchcraft, or the dark arts. I simply mean that intuition is your natural ability to discern the truth. That’s all intuition is and it does not need to contain a spiritual element if you prefer it didn’t. (Though, if you are religious, the holy spirit is a form of intuition, or if you are spiritual, your intuition can be a way to channel angels, ancestors, guides, and the collective unconscious — the choice is yours).

Intuition can also be classified as your gut instincts, your first reaction, and your truth. Humans are mammals, after all, and so we possess the same kinds of instincts that other animals use to their advantage to alert them to danger, help them get out of tough situations, find sustenance, spot predators, and survive. Other mammals trust their first reaction; why don’t we?

Having a well-developed intuition is, in my opinion, essential to your survival here. Without it, you’ll blindly trust the groupthink at your own expense — and at the expense of people who need your help. You won’t individuate because you’ll be following and believing what others tell you, what they force you into, or what they choose to convey for their own benefit. You’ll be talked out of things you know are true and that are in fact beneficial for your purpose here. 

It’s hard to convey just how much of what we take for granted as “real” is in fact contrived unless you have been through the brutal initiation into intuition but I will try my best here. It’s the proverbial taking the scales off the eyes, setting down the rose-colored glasses, and diving deep down the rabbit hole into what is real, whether we like it or not.

It’s like the family holidays and gatherings we attend a few times a year. Everyone comes to dinner, pretends to be close, makes small talk, dresses up, and plays the happy family role. But deep down you know the longstanding family feuds have never been resolved — your parents struggle to stay happily married and constantly nit pick each other and get passive aggressive; everyone secretly rolls their eyes at how much your grandmother talks about her health problems; your uncle gives you the creeps and you’re not sure why; your cousin drinks too much but everyone pretends he has no problem; no one has talked to your brother in 10 years. We play the part and pretend, despite what is unspoken being pushed down until a “better” time. Will you acknowledge these things and work to improve them? We all get to choose. 

You don’t realize just how much was fake until you get to the other side of it. Working on a marketing team help me recognize this. Abuse — a total ego annihilator (the ego being your blind spots) — helped me see this. Getting behind the scenes within organizations, watching people say one thing publicly but do another privately greatly helps us realize this. The cognitive dissonance that arises in each situation helps us to become progressively more intuitive because we can see where our blind spots are and then worked to overcome them. Are you trusting the wrong people, believing others always have good intentions; have you assumed everyone wants positivity and growth, or think you can talk about the problems and resolve them? Truthfully, not every will agree with you on these things. Admitting where we went wrong is what helps us become highly intuitive. It’s not enough to be an idealist. We also have to be realists. 

Only when I became utterly physically sick did I stand up and say “no more — we all need to face reality.” If others weren’t going to join me, I was going to go at it alone. This is why my clients come to me — they are in the exact same boat: they know what is true yet they have been talked out of it time and time again for the benefit of others. And it is making people sick. 

Becoming intuitive is a process, a bit like peeling back the layers of an onion. We have to “peel back” things that prevent us from tapping into our gut instincts. If we go into this process understanding that there are many layers that require being stripped away, it won’t feel quite so laborious. That’s not to say it will feel easy, but we can’t expect it to happen overnight. Whatever has been done to us, to humanity as a whole, or that we have done to others must be repaired. We can only peel one layer at a time and shouldn’t be hard on ourselves if that peeling takes a few weeks, a few months, or a few years. It takes as long as it needs to take.

One of the primary purposes of accessing your intuition is developing empathy and compassion. It is what we are all here to learn. If you are interested in becoming intuitive, chances are you are also a naturally empathic person who has encountered many narcissistic personalities on your journey. In essence, if you are being controlled by narcissists, you can’t be intuitive because you will be working so hard to keep their false realities afloat for their benefit.

There are a bunch of titles floating around here so let me clarify: 

Empath = someone who is highly sensitive, in touch with their emotions and the emotions of others. Someone who feels the underlying energy in each situation, whether you realize it or not. Someone who takes on the feelings and attitudes of others because they are “spongy”. Someone who desperately wants to let go of their egoic habits and stop the pain cycles for the greater good. Someone who is an old soul and carries a lot of karmic baggage, both theirs and others’.

Narcissist = someone who will never be able to get out of their ego because that would require they relinquish control. Relinquishing control would make them face the pain they have endured and inflicted onto others. It would make the balance of power equal in their relationships. They control the groupthink, social setting, and story lines. They prey on “weak” empaths and use us for their own gain. They project and deflect in order to get ahead and not face their own karma. 

Intuitive = someone who perceives the truth in a given situation, whether or not it has been verbally spoken. They observe the cause and effect, behavior, subconscious cues, and energy in a situation to perceive the truth. They look for nuances and non-verbal communication to discern. There are two kinds of intuition/intuitives — “healthy” and “malignant”.

The difference between the healthy intuition of an empath and the malignant intuition of a narcissist is that, a narcissistic individual’s intuitive insights are processed through a terribly negative and controlling lens. And these are people who will do anything to never have to clean the lens because of how painful the smudges are. It’s as if narcissists have a way of sniffing out your weaknesses and preying on them. They perceive your weaknesses to be the truth. They are unable to filter their perceptions through a lens of empathy: “What caused this person to do this in the first place?”, “What was going on in their life that they felt this way?”, “How can I give this person grace?”, “What kind of help do they need?”, etc.

While an empath would recognize someone’s weaknesses and ignore them for everyone’s benefit or to encourage that person, narcissists know when things are going wrong and find great pleasure in blaming you for the problems. (Please know, in the case of abuse, all this shit goes out the window and you as an empath can and should speak up about the ways narcissists are preying on you and show it to them outright).

They also anticipate problems and get a high off of chaos and confusion; they live for things to go wrong so the blame game and punishment can ensue. They love gossip, assumptions, worst case scenarios, and problems. The nervous system and neurotransmitters of such people have been trained from an early age that self-protection is how to receive positive chemical feedback in the form of peptides (compounded amino acids that are released in response to emotions) to feel “good”. Hurt before being hurt, so to speak. They feed off of your stress response. This is malignant intuition. It’s truly all about intention.

Some narcissists are so advanced in their projection skills, they adopt “do good” personas to fool everyone around them. This is why we always have to trust our initial reactions to a person. Do they have an energy about them that yields to others? Do they reciprocate? Do they ask permission — not just verbally but also with their eyes, body language, and speech pattern or word choice? Or, are they trying to subtly, maybe even kindly, talk you into something or insinuate you are somehow inferior?

The sad truth, if you want is, is that narcissists can even disguise themselves as empaths and “lightworkers”.  We must learn to differentiate an empath from a narcissist — even the so-called covert narcissists — otherwise you’ll be relying on their perception of the world at the cost of your own. You’ll be relying on malignant intuition rather than a healthy one and you’ll end up miserable and not self-actualized. 

Trusting your intuition is not all rainbows and butterflies. Empaths who choose to trust themselves and their initial reactions may have to face some harsh realities we didn’t know were present. We may need to speak up and speak out about what is truly transpiring, which others will not like. The difference between this form of healthy, yet not always positive intuition and malignant intuition is that as an empath you want to stop the pain cycles. Narcissists with malignant intuition want to perpetuate pain cycles so they have the power. That is the difference. 

Ready to reclaim your health and self? Click here to learn more about Nutrition Consultations, Energy Readings, and Body Readings.