How to open your heart chakra

Every single person alive on the planet is seeking love in their own unique way. Some have confused love for validation, acceptance, or grand displays of affection. Others have confused love with pain, heartache, and rejection based on their past experiences and in anticipation of future painful events. Some avoid love even when it looks them in the eye.

As I have said before, real love is unconditional, whether it comes from a romantic partner, parent, friend, or family member. Unfortunately, real love is also very hard to come by. You see, we have been taught to only give love to certain people and only receive it from others. We have been taught if want love, we must have something to give first. We have constantly opened and closed our hearts in the presence of others because we thought they deserved it or they didn’t — or because we were punished or judged for offering it in the first place (“there must be a string attached; they must be slutty/players/egotistical”).

In contrast, a peaceful world would look like humans giving and receiving love always, to anyone, simply because it is another soul. The level of love would not need to vary, but perhaps the expression would. You wouldn’t love the gas station clerk the same way you love your child, but you can still exude love, empathy, and respect nonetheless. You can still look them in the eye and smile and care, regardless of not appreciating how they did or did not treat you. It’s separating love from roles, karma, and shitty behavior.  

It’s not enough to just open your heart chakra. You have to figure out why it was blocked to begin with, and you also have to figure out why you are rejecting love at this very moment. Yes, you are — we all are. It is not enough to want to get love or give love. Unless you are actually open to receiving it, there is nothing you or anyone else can do to make you feel loved. Often, we choose partners who we subconsciously feel are unable to reciprocate love because it is easier to be slowly rejected or not truly seen. 

Not being able to receive love comes from a fear of being unworthy. Unworthy because of your past mistakes, unworthy because of what you lack, unworthy because few others have ever offered it to you in its pure form, unworthy because of how you have been treated. “It must be because I am inadequate” you may believe. 

If you are energetically sensitive or want to be, start with this visualization: locate your heart inside of your body. How does it feel? Tune into it deeply. You may be surprised to feel there is literal pain inside the organ itself, not just surrounding it, and not just emotional pain but literal physical pain that has embedded itself into the structure. Identify one tiny speck of pain — separate the individual pains from the overall pain — and acknowledge it, ask where it came from, then consciously release it. You should feel lighter instantly. Do this until your heart doesn’t ache. 

I have noticed many people have a literal energetic split in their hearts — a line down the middle separating the left and right ventricles (at the pulmonary valve), as though there is a chasm indicating a separation between masculine and feminine love and the ability to integrate the two. I’m not just talking about those with literal heart problems (though heart disease is a severe manifestation of a broken heart when we’re talking metaphysics). I mean we have craved feminine love (openness, receptiveness and whether you are a male or female doesn’t matter) but have been forced into more masculine displays of love because we have lived in a masculine system thus far. We have accepted the masculine love because we didn’t know there was another option, an option in which your soul can take the lead, rather than your physical body, superficial gifts, or desire to hide how you really feel because it was “childish”.

Many also have lodged their heart deep into their throat chakras. You have learned not to say the words you really want to say because of how you have been hurt or rejected in the past; because of how you were told love is naive, needy, silly and will cause you problems — or that the kind of love you want just doesn’t exist; how only children open their hearts and adults must learn to hide them because that’s what it means to age. A blocked throat chakra isn’t just about fear of speaking, being heard or seen, or finding the right words as to not risk rejection; it is about holding back your expressions of love.

The heart chakra is also called the fourth chakra. Understand that generally depictions of the chakras involve the front of the body — energy centers moving up from the base of the pelvis to the top of the head. But the energy isn’t intended to come in without exiting. It must be able to flow through or pass through the entire human structure without getting blocked. In this case, because the heart chakra is in the chest, you may notice upper back problems or thickening of the fascia between your shoulder blades. A blocked heart chakra can also cause breathing problems (which can lead to anxiety, allergies, poor sleep, and more), chest pains, and other chest restrictions as if you were wearing a very tight girdle around the area. It can also cause you to have very tight or restricted movement in your left shoulder blade (because, of course, the heart sits in the front left chamber of the chest). So don’t just look for fascial adhesions on the front of your chest (an indication you were blocking love from entering), also look to the upper back (to see if you were preventing it from truly touching your soul, or were trying to prevent it from leaving for fear of abandonment). Sometimes I see people (both men and women) who have such tight, thick skin (fascial adhesions) on their chest or upper back, I feel a huge density and wonder how they’re still breathing. It’s not a myth that you can die from a broken heart; fascia restricts blood flow, nutrients, and more to those areas. 

How to open your heart chakra:

  • Identify your core wounds and life lessons — these will tell you why you are rejecting or scared of love
  • Understand that real love is unconditional, without constant checks and balances, you can never get better in order to receive love, and if you mess up you can still be worthy of love
  • Get rid of fascial adhesions on your chest and upper back with myofascial release
  • Do energy work to eliminate old, toxic energies from your heart center
  • Offer love that is from the soul, rather than the 3D world
  • Accept that those who cannot love you back and in their own pain and wounds
  • Love yourself unconditionally, flaws and all
  • Figure out how your definition of love varies from true love because this will cause you pain
  • Accept what others have done to you in the past without projecting it onto the future — remain present
  • Offer love to everyone (kindness, respect, care) without expecting anything in return
  • Identify social or relationships problems and work to remedy them (complicity or being lukewarm is the antithesis of love); ie: change the karma; love is a feeling but also an action
  • Forgive yourself and others
  • Stop cycles of self-hatred or dependence on vices to feel okay
  • Breathe deeply
  • Stretch

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Stages of ego death

Some call it a dark night of the soul. Others call it ego death. Whatever the term, the empaths are being called to shed their egoic mind and ascend to higher planes of emotional and spiritual awareness. Plain and simple, the world needs it right now as we shift out of trauma and fear and into love and peace. Specifically, the energies from December 12-21 are demanding it of us and it is heavy. We need it on a personal level and we need it on a collective level. 

Ego death is when you are forced to reconcile your karma, when you are forced to see your blind spots, your problems, your complicity, the way you hurt others and the way others have continually hurt you. Think of the ego like prison bars around your brain. It keeps your emotional, spiritual, and mental health inside barriers, not allowing you to grow and expand, not allowing you to see beyond the circumstantial, the ways you have always thought about things and always done things. It keeps you in a low vibration and prevents your true life path and genius from rising.

Think of this process like this: there lies a huge block of ice in front of you, which represents your ego. You take an ice pick to the block and begin hitting it, smashing pieces to the ground. It’s freezing outside so there is no chance of it melting on its own. A few shards hit the ground and you ask your higher self or higher power questions about why those shards froze into the block to begin with. You get answers and see your blind spots and wounds for what they really are; why you made those decisions or passively allowed them to transpire. It can take weeks, months, or years to slowly but surely chip away at the ice and you can’t except it to do the work itself and you can’t overlook the tiny shard on the ground. They all mean something and they all lead you to the truth and without examining each one, your ego stays put. Only when you take care of each individual ice crystal with the heat of friction will you allow it to dissolve in the cold weather. 

Once you begin this “icy” process, it shifts into something more like a tornado. It’s like a proverbial opening of Pandora’s box and all of the things you suppressed and hid or pretended weren’t there come rushing out. You can’t control it, you have to just ride the waves. Imagine you are observing a tornado close-up from the side of the road and suddenly find yourself caught in the eye. You’ll get blown to the left, blown to the right, blown up, down, and sideways inside of it. It controls and suspends you and you can’t get out. As you pick away at that ice block, you may lower down into the storm system, feeling like you’re making progress about exiting and feel exuberant about it. The next moment, a huge chunk of ice falls off the block and you get drawn up higher into the storm system — one step forward, two steps backwards. You thought you were making progress but suddenly realize how far you have to go to climb your way out. So too is the shedding of the ego. One step forward, a few steps backwards, always lowering into the cone, then getting drawn back into the eye. It’s not your fault, it is normal. 

Stages of ego death:

  • Spiritual awakening (some kind of impetus wakes you up out of the amnesia. Awareness of the disconnect from your soul — all of the ways you have compromised yourself for other people’s benefit)
  • Seeking (delving deeper into your religion, spirituality, or esoteric and metaphysical matters that you vibe with)
  • Trying to explain or bring others into your process because you desire true connection
  • Isolation (when you begin to ascend on your own path and realize others, even your closest loved ones, are no longer on the same wavelength as you because you were wearing a mask when you bonded with them and so were they)
  • Grief (life isn’t what I want it to be/thought it would be)
  • Avoidance (trying to avoid the ego problems that led you to this point; blocking spiritual ascension)
  • Denial (“things aren’t as bad as they seem; I can live with my ego — everyone else does. I don’t have any problems.”)
  • Acceptance (“I need to do something to change this situation”)
  • Change (recognizing major life changes you need to make in order to ascend and doing it despite the hardship)
  • Deconstruction (identifying every bad/low energy in your body and soul, identifying problems and picking them apart to see what the cause of it was and what led you there — identification of core wounds and life lessons)
  • Detaching from karmic partners (letting go of toxic relationships that keep you in your ego. This can happen quickly if you are headstrong, or you may go back to them time and again because you worry about the consequences of leaving them — there is typically punishment involved. It’s not called karma for nothing.)
  • Figure out who you actually are on a soul level and pursue that
  • Regret over what you have done to others
  • Seeking friendships and partnerships with people on your new wavelength
  • Resentment and frustration, or sadness, anger and bitterness (at those who have wounded you time and time again, or cyclical situations you always find yourself in; re-triggering. This can happen many times throughout the process)
  • Release of the triggers by finding new ways to look at them (ex: this person did that to me because of this thing that happened to them, they didn’t realize what they were doing; I wanted love and acceptance so I made this compromise which caused this consequence, etc)
  • Peace and acceptance (finding your true life path, releasing karma, accepting yourself and your choices or lessons, healing your core wounds)
  • Good fortune (getting what you deserve — good things — because you shed your ego)

If you are going through this or know others who are, please please please use kid gloves with these people. They may act out, or withdrawal. They’re not depressed, weird, or bipolar. They’re having an existential crisis. Don’t talk about them/gossip, take advantage of them, or backstab while they are down and confused. (If you have true mental health problems, please seek professional support, but I am only speaking about transient life issues based on a spiritual awakening here). 

You or others also need understanding, support, and connection during this time. Typically, someone shedding their ego doesn’t want or need advice. Telling these people what you think is best for them won’t help or work because everyone is on their own unique journey and so your words of wisdom can do more damage than good since this person needs to tune into their intuition and higher power in order to find their way out. Your life experiences will not help someone who has had vastly unique experiences that you cannot understand (this is why I offer Energy Readings — so I can be a blank slate for you and lead you to your higher truth). This means listen and absorb or accept what they are going through without pressuring for answers or resolution. This means sitting with them to absorb their energy instead of expecting something from them. In life, we have often had Maslow’s hierarchy of needs withheld from us. During this time, those awakening desperately need higher-level emotional support in order to self-actualize. 

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The point of remembering your past lives is to forget them

I want to tell you some more truth today and let you in on some personal details; how I ended up in this place because it speaks to the heart of why I do what I do as a coach and how it can help you. The very startling supernatural experiences I have had have led me down a road I never thought I would trek: into past lives, chakras, and energy work. I didn’t want to go here. I didn’t know it was real. I avoided it for as long as I could. I shoved my intuition so far down my throat it got lodged there. Every time I read someone’s ego without realizing it, I tried to hide it by internalizing it as a stress response. I tried to pretend it wasn’t there for their sake. Then I realized it was a gift I could use to help people, instead of make myself sickened by its strength. It’s weird, it’s different, sometimes off-putting, and very few believe it. Not exactly a money-making scheme. I wish I could come up with twenty Paleo recipes each week and make that my shtick. It’s just not my path and I’ve carried a great deal of shame (the lowest vibration) because of it. I’ve finally made peace with it.

Every word I write comes from an intention of the heart and every piece of advice I share comes from living these things myself — not regurgitating words from a book — and from asking my intuition or higher power what it all means, then channeling the results for you. I say the things that need to be said, not because it is popular or cool but because it is the deepest truth I have been able to find and because I have wished for someone to share such insights with me. I want you to be prepared in ways I was not. 

The backstory is this: I only operate in the “light” side of things. I have never dabbled in any black arts, shamanism, or witchcraft (I know I can get crucified for calling these out because many believe in “good” spells but I don’t mess around with intention after what I have witnessed). I have never “tried” to conjure anything or speak with the dead. I was never allowed to use a Ouija board (even writing that word gives me the creeps). The law of attraction bores me because it is wishing for things we think are good for us when the Universe may have other plans. In all honesty I don’t even pray in the traditional hands-folded sense but I believe in the final authority of a higher power (though I don’t think it is what we have been told it is) and ask I questions which always seem to be answered which has aided in my spiritual ascension and weakening of the ego. I was shown my blind spots then I changed. I learned how things connected, the cause and effect. I saw what I had to do in order to “flip the karmic script” and self-actualize. Often I get forced into it because not following this path is harder than just giving into it. I ask for help and I always receive it thought I don’t speak with angels, saints, deceased love ones. Simply put, I know that both good and evil are real and that’s why I work hard to fight against the latter when other human beings present in that abusive form. It’s like the line from that movie: “The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.” He exists in us when we choose it.

If we live in a dumbed-down groupthink state in which we live for the holidays, Facebook interactions, sitcoms, etc. we are distracted into believing that bad things only happen from time to time; or to other people, and there’s nothing you can do about it. We think if we are good people bad things won’t happen. The truth is, once you choose to self-actualize at all costs and no longer sell your soul for 3D acceptance, you will be tested by dark forces be it narcissists, karmic debt, or your Biblical interpretation of Satan. Bad things don’t happen randomly, they happen as a result of karma, or as a result of choosing the light. I have had people test me, tear me down, and throw wrenches in my path for pursuing my healing work. I have had to prove myself time and again and at the end of it, they got scared because of how accurately I saw their intentional misdeeds for who, what, why, when, and how they really occurred. Details, people, and they were spot on. 

I have almost never shared my personal beliefs on these things because well, I thought it was a distraction from what my clients believed. My main goal is to support you in what you believe, not talk you out of it; to strengthen you so you cannot be f*cked with any longer. I put my personal beliefs aside so that you can shine and I can lead you to your higher truth. But when it comes to past lives, I cannot stress enough that they are real, we have all been here before many times, your fears and phobias don’t come from nowhere, your health problems don’t come from nowhere, your attraction or repulsion to certain people is not for no reason, and until you resolve your karma you will be stuck in a prison system. Past-life karma is energetic bars of indebtedness, after all, keeping you at one plane of self-realization.

I give you this background info today because I want you to see that I once too did not believe. I had no reason to and was happily agnostic. God was a question I saw no rush to answer. I wanted my atheist friends to accept me. I didn’t want to upset my Christian friends. My spirituality was yoga and writing and trying to be kind. It wasn’t until I saw flashes of light come from multiple people’s eyes (both friend and foes), saw good omens, repeated very obvious past lives in this incarnation, experienced inexplicable synchronicity, had telepathic connections, saw auras, saw angels, and more did I believe it. It’s easy to say these things, but it’s harder to believe them. One person can’t confirm this but two people can, if they are honest. Some of us are here to tell others this place isn’t what we have been told. The interpretations I learned in Sunday school were vastly misleading. 

Supernatural occurrences do not happen for no reason; they are a call to action, a form of confirmation, or an answer to prayer. However, seeing them requires a process of tearing down one’s ego because the ego blocks all sorts of supernatural phenomena from being seen. The ego is the skeptic. The skeptic keeps you seeing what it wants you to. Also, these things cannot be seen or felt by those who do not trust or are not open to them. As an empath, you are open. It’s a catch 22 because you must have a trusting, inquisitive energy first in order to be able to see the magic second. You do not have to believe it is real in order to find it. You simply have to be open, ask, and trust that in due time, or with necessity it will appear. 

Now, onto past lives. 

Think back to almost every piece of literature ever created. The commonality is that the protagonist is generally always faced with a choice: do I choose the head over heart, or heart over head? Does the king choose the peasant, or does he choose the royal lady in waiting? In his heart he knows what he wants, but the external pressures to maintain appearances may get the best of him. When he makes the heart over head decision, the audience loves it because it’s what we all wish we could choose in life: forgo the karma (stock societal expectations) and venture into dharma (your true life path). Head over heart, head over heart, head over heart — in many lifetimes we could not choose this because of taboos. In many lifetimes, heart over head decisions were forbidden or punishable by death or severe loss.

In order to understand who you really are, why you operate the way you do, how to overcome your dysfunctions and health problems, you first have to uncover who you have been before. The longer you have been open to such things, the easier it will be to see them: the patterns that keep presenting themselves, the cycles you always find yourself in, your hidden fears and talents, your roles, your energy, your health problems, your likes and interests, and on and on and on. 

But the purpose of uncovering your past lives is not just about finally understanding yourself. It is about finally letting go of the past so you can remain in the present and be open to the future. It’s about relinquishing the power your assumed roles and the expectations of others have had on you in incarnation after incarnation. It is about choosing what your higher power/intuition/the Universe has for you at the expense of your ego. 

Once you accept who you have been, you can begin the lengthy process of transmuting the pain; the pain of what has happened to you, what others have done to you, what you have chosen to your own detriment, how you died, the cycles you’re repeating with others in this lifetime, etc. etc. The ego wants you to remain in the pain, the prison, forever. It’s what keeps the good from rising. It’s what keeps us enslaved to the evils of the past. Processing what has happened to you, trying to understand and come to terms with it, then forgiving and releasing it because you see it is no longer relevant and no longer serves you is the only way to peace. It is living a life in which you are not constantly triggered, brought down, and stressed. It is where you can make healthy, independent choices that are for your enlightenment and future. It doesn’t happen overnight and can take quite a while. It will take you to your darkest places, your core wounds. But it’s what we all need on a personal level and it’s what humanity needs at this point in its evolution in order to break free into peace. 

Ready to reclaim your health and self? Click here to learn more about Nutrition Consultations, Energy Readings, and Body Readings.