Why empaths can’t organize the way narcissists can (and why we need to learn to)

The dichotomy between empathic people and narcissistic people transcends space and time. If you’ve woken up to the spiritual undercurrent, the soul in the mundane, the sacred in the profane, the 5D hiding behind the oh-so obvious 3D you know that we are here to do more than pay bills, work a job, pursue a “good enough” relationship, and try to be a decent person until we die. We’re here to engage in a spiritual battle, one as old as time itself. The battle between good and evil, in order to cultivate change on this planet once and for all. Problem is, empaths have by and large been relegated to the position of a proverbial servant, and narcissists have taken the proverbial role of king.

Narcissists are in charge because they not only know how to take power and control with no care for checks and balances (aka: concern for others by way of empathy); they also know how to organize. By “organize”, I don’t mean straighten a drawer, fold clothes, and place bills in color-coordinated binders (or apps). I mean community organizing: coordinating cooperative efforts and campaigning carried out to promote specific interests. They know how to get other people to engage in their cause. They know how to get what they want. And because they lack the empathy to care about how their desires will affect other people, they will do anything to get their way — and usually do.

I’ve said this before and it may come as a surprise to you but empathic people need to learn from narcissists. Not only learn to identify the spectrum of narcissism to understand who to trust; not only to learn their tactics so you can keep yourself healthy in a world full of narcissism — but to learn their methods so we can replicate them in new, caring ways.

You see, our high degree of empathy has caused us to forgo everything we believe to be righteous, true, and worthwhile. We have put our own intuitive inklings, messages from the divine, and soul missions on hold so other people can be happy. So other people can remain comfortable. So other people will like us — at the expense of progress and peace. We have to understand we can still be empathic and kind people without tolerating evil, injustice, abuse, and general selfish bullshit.

In doing so, you will begin to feel selfish yourself. You will begin to question, “If I am also utterly driven, does that make me a narcissist? If I’ll follow my cause without abandon does that make me any better than them?”. Here is the answer to those queries: if you genuinely are acting with good intentions under the direction of your higher self or higher power with no ego involved, you are doing the right thing by finally — finally — taking the reigns and putting your foot down to stop and reverse evil. Evil people will have their ego bruised in the process. They will hate you. In the end, you will see they were only ever using you and never really liked or loved you to begin with.

Still, the guilt an empath internalizes when they have to take the lead and go against the groupthink can become all-consuming. It causes us to distance ourselves from others and disconnect instead of generating community and creating new functional systems. It is easier to play along and fly under the radar because 1). you won’t upset anyone and 2). you won’t be targeted. Do you think this is the kind of life your higher self or higher power would want for you? Living so plainly that you never ever upset people, thinking this is kindness and love? No, it is martyrdom and lifelessness. It is slavery and servitude. It is not true living or creating change for the greater good. Going to our graves as push overs and saints isn’t worth it because we will have done nothing for the world but make other people happy.

My goal when working with any empathic person is to remind them of their spiritual authority, how it has been usurped, what it feels like to reclaim it, and how to finally act on it. In fact, we have already been given all of the authority we need from the divine to fight the good fight and stand up to narcissist and evil in all forms. It is simply up to us to remember and take grip of it:

“I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.”

Here’s what narcissists instinctively know that empaths need to learn:

  1. How to get people to believe in their ideas and cause. Narcs use all forms of cognitive dissonance and brainwashing to make their point accepted, but this can also be done in a healthy way. Explanation, enthusiasm, connectivity to the cause, understanding the effect of each other’s efforts, positive affirmations, and more.
  2. How to bring people together. Narcissists are great at generating groupthink and using people to appear connected, popular, and community-oriented. They use other brainwashed community members to convince the nay-sayers. As natural lovers, empathic people can also bring people together to generate a positive, single-minded mindset (rather than controlling groupthink) due to our high-vibe energy. Empaths — people want to be around you because you share your soul, even if this is still hard for you to believe because of what you have been told about yourself.
  3. How to use resources towards their cause. Because empathic people have been placed in roles of subservience and therefore codependency, we often feel stressed when it comes to generating resources such as money. Releasing this subconscious belief system will bring you more of what you need and much less stress. Be fearless in your desires — your vibe will attract what you need.
  4. Taking the lead. Empathic people I have met and worked with generally like to observe and play the backseat role rather than be the leader. Sometimes we are put in positions where we have to take the lead but this probably isn’t your comfort zone. We have to flip this dynamic on its head and stand up fearlessly to take the lead when evil is leading the group or cause. Anyone can upset the balance of power — us included. Stop feeling guilty for it — it’s not a manifestation of ego if you aren’t doing it for self-glorification.
  5. Playing up their abilities. Empaths downplay their talents and narcs play them up. We have to stop hiding, communicate what we are capable of and our past experiences so people learn to trust the empaths rather than dominate them. You deserve respect for what you have learned and done in life. You posses natural wisdom that narcs do not.
  6. Communicate. Narcissists do not communicate clearly, no, but they do know how to convince people of their ideas to win people over. Empaths often feel so much that communication becomes a huge barrier. You don’t know how to express the rich, complex inner intelligence to the outside world. The more you work on opening up your throat chakra, the more you can learn to communicate to the ego of others so they understand what you mean without having to go into lengthy explanations that many will not understand.

Empathic people, it is time to rise up. Now is the time. The battle is already half-way over. Stay strong and take your rightful seat at the table.

Your ego is your monkey brain

The cornerstone of any spiritual awakening process involves shedding of one’s ego in order to reach new levels of personal awareness. Releasing the egoic mind involves a lengthy — and I do mean lengthy — process of identifying and eliminating the false realities we have been told are real, the illusions we have come to accept as normal, and the thought and behavioral patterns that keep us selfish and un-enlightened about the greater connectivity between the universe and our personal decisions (and those of others). It is a process of re-awakening to your own divinity, accepting your higher self or higher power, and acting from the prefrontal cortex rather than the stress-driven parts of the brain. It requires accepting personal responsibility for everything you have done, and developing the empathy to see how your decisions will affect you and those around you in the long run.

I have written before about the “lizard brain”, aka: the Amygdalae, which are two almond-shaped structures within the brain that remind you of the danger that could lurk ahead. The lizard brain keeps a close tally of every stressful situation you have been in, so that you can prevent stressors from affecting you in the future. Unfortunately, this also means people become locked in states of chronic stress because the lizard brain reminds you that the world is utterly unsafe, you are a terrible person, and no one can be trusted. Additionally, because we have all had numerous stressful past lives, our subconscious mind will also dictate these reminders to the Amygdalae, causing us to be triggered at things that have never hurt us in this lifetime. Overcoming these repeating thoughts is a necessary step in shedding the ego.

As I have said before:

Here’s what you need to know for your health: because of trauma you are operating out of your “lizard” brain or Amygdala. Amygdalae are part of the limbic system which is responsible for emotions, survival, instincts, mood, sexuality, addictions, and memory. It’s function has been linked to neuropsychiatric disorders that involve anxiety and fears.

You will have dominant Amygdala function whether your trauma has been acknowledged thus far, or whether it still remains in the subconscious corners of your mind. The Amygdala is the fight-or-flight, reactivity, fear center of the brain. It remembers most every misdeed others have done to us so that we can constantly be on the defense in order to protect ourselves. It is a coping mechanism and survival tactic that, while once essential, has overstayed it’s welcome. In large part, we’re not hunter-gatherers needing to protect ourselves from apex predators or starvation. It’s making us sick from the stress. 

There is another structure of the brain we also must overcome, though, in order to reach enlightenment: the monkey brain. While the lizard brain protects us from having to process or re-endure trauma, the monkey brain is the facade that gets established to help us overlook the trauma — or defend ourselves against the trauma. In other words, the lizard brain tells your subconscious mind, nervous system, and hormones something is not safe, while the monkey brain says “I will act bigger and better so that the problem does not present itself again.” Puff out your chest, beat your fists, and act larger than you really are, so to speak.

The monkey brain and its according behavioral patterns are the root of the true ego and in order to understand how to overcome it, we must understand how non-human primates function. Most primates, including us as human beings, spend their lives in large social groups or communities and this, along with primary needs (food, water, air, territory), become the driving force behind all that we do. Being secured within a community means more than socializing, of course. To a primate, there are constant threats, again, to food and water supply, territory, and most importantly, sex/reproduction and social standing.

Most primate communities are generally closed to contact with members of other communities. Most often, members stay within a certain region and rarely migrate outside of their home area. Such aloofness from other troops prevents high concentrations of individuals entering the community, which could result in rapid depletion of local resources and restructuring of social status. Communities usually avoid each other and are aggressive towards outsiders. Because of this, social interactions between members of different troops are rare, especially for females. In some primate groups, the only intentional contact between groups is in the form of defensive territorial behavior. Ie: instead of avoiding each other, groups actively converge near their common territorial border and make hostile displays to scare away competition. Sounds a bit like human displays of jealousy and insecurity, eh? It’s the classic means girls, hazing newbies, and feigned exclusivity to prevent outsider infiltration in order to retain power and control.

In order to guarantee resource availability, social hierarchies are constructed in a true survival-of-the-fittest mentality. The more dominant and aggressive one is, the more resources they have available to them. The more resources they have available, the most respect they garner. The problem is, high levels of aggression, both given or received, can lead to chronic psychological stress in addition to added energy costs and risk of injury. For primates, chronic stress can adversely affect health and reproduction. Does this sound much different than human beings?

Humans constantly vie for social position, feel inferior and therefore less valuable (socially, sexually, intellectually) if they are not connected to, or liked by, the most respected members of their community or subgroup. Of course, the “most respected” members are often not respected by virtue of character, though in some cases they are; they are often respected for their appearance and external accomplishments, ability to bullshit, wine and dine, and put on a false mask to please people and entertain — not due to personal enlightenment.

Humans deeply rooted in their egoic mind have no problem gossiping, spreading rumors, blameshifting, creating chaos, and sabotaging others so they themselves can get ahead and be perceived as superior. Humans spend most of their lives trying to be viewed as sexually desirable and go into deep depressions when members of the opposite sex (or, same sex in many cases) do not choose them as a sexual partner. We spend a majority of our time working to make money so that we can build a facade of desirability within our homes, wardrobes, with accessories (hair, nails, and other beauty treatments), our cars, etc. Every choice we make becomes about what will be perceived as the most valuable by people we both know and strangers alike (the car we drive, the school we attended — or our children attend, the company we work for, the choice of prints for the curtains, the comments/likes and followers we get on social media, etc). We can spend our entire lives chasing a facade that stems from normative primate behavior and does nothing for the soul. The monkey brain has taken over and this is why the dichotomy between empaths and narcissists exist. Some people are self-aware, and others are stuck in animal survival mode, willing to do anything (abuse included) to get what they want.

Below are some stereotypes but they do speak to the behaviors and attitudes we take on naturally through societal enculturation. In some cases, these roles can be reversed and men and women may flip flop back and forth between the two. If these stereotypes offend you, they should. Yet, they are still what many people consciously or subconsciously chase.

For male human primates, this can mean: taking as many sexual partners as possible, being perceived as “the man”, succeeding in external pursuits (finances and career) to win over the “best” partner, giving high-value gifts, providing for females or dependents (food and shelter at a basic level), putting on a macho facade (I have no feelings and am not scared of anything), I am the protector, and on and on.

For female human primates, this can mean: being unwelcoming to females who are perceived as superior in some way (sexually, intellectually, ethically, fertile or good mothers) and therefore a threat to their sexual security, shunning “sexually powerful” or desirable females, going out of their way to be sexually suggestive to their partners only to maintain their interest not because of real attraction or love, using sex as a manipulation tool, dressing in clothes to strike the attention of their desired partner, doing things to make themselves appear superior spouses, owning nice things, etc etc.

You see, in order to understand why we as human beings do what we do, and therefore recognize what is dysfunctional in order to overcome it, we must understand our origins. Whether you err on the side of evolutionism or creationism does not matter here. What matters is that our brains carry remnants or similar characteristic of other species and we must overcome those behavioral patterns in order to shed the ego because they have nothing to do with our soul’s purpose and are nothing more than a stressor and distraction.