When the empath becomes the alpha

As I’ve said in other blog posts, including Narcissists Believe Themselves to be the Ruling Class, empaths have been demoted to a status underneath their narc “handlers.” You as the empath are to obey, not question their authority, and always — even if subconsciously — put yourself in a position of subservience and submission. On the surface it may appear as though you wear the pants in the relationship (or you share them equally) but once you push back a little, you begin to perceive the glass ceiling by which you are allowed to assert yourself and your personal autonomy. This is why it is such a challenge to become your higher self once more: those deeply rooted in the ego will not like you challenging them. Once you become that ascended higher self you will be above them in your spiritual abilities once and for all.

Here’s what I’ve seen from female clients over the years: empathic women naturally fall into a role of submission despite their great intellect and emotional intelligence, despite their unique skills and talents, and despite their superpower to heal others with their words, ear, art, or presence alone. Some of the most beautiful creatures have considered themselves the worst, the ugliest, and the least successful. It’s like that quotation that’s credited to Sigmund Freud: “Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.”

If an empathic person is living in a world in which the majority of other people are not empathic, that means you are surrounded by those who operate from an ego-centric personality and not divine providence or guidance. In other words, you are probably surrounded by assholes. They don’t know or believe they are, of course, but you are surrounded by people who still operate from the outdated monkey brain and therefore, will use any means necessary to squash the competition. If that means sabotaging your self-esteem, career, and relationships, they will.

It’s very difficult for an empathic person (a woman especially) to overcome the power of manipulation she has experienced at the hands of other women. “Aren’t we all supposed to be fighting for the same things?” you will wonder. But monkeys are constantly jockeying for position. You may have noticed the narc queen in your circle of friends, family, or at your job. She considers herself the alpha, as do the other female primates. The others suck up to her, kiss her ass, and offer their power to her. Some do her bidding, some pretend to believe everything she tells them. They compliment her and want to get in her good graces. They know she not only has power but she has resources they can use to their advantage.

Then in walks a divine feminine, completely unaware of this primate dynamic (until, that is, she becomes intuitive enough to see it clearly). She sparkles with each step. Her grace and beauty are unmatched. She may not be the most physically beautiful but a natural beauty emanates from her that sets her above the others. She gives and enjoys giving. Sometimes it is a gift to one in need. Sometimes it is a smile and conversation. She is loyal to a fault and overlooks the attention she has drawn. The females take note. She had no idea she was in a competition. It floats over her head, flows off her back; she remains completely unaware that the queen is threatened by her.

The queen starts getting angry and frustrated; her power is being drained by one who can generate her own power. The battle between good and evil begins. The queen and her minions plot against the divine feminine: “We must take her down. We will use any means necessary,” she says. They devise plans to take down this empathic woman, and they are successful. They find a way to steal her internal power source by dimming it once and for all. “She will never shine again,” they say. But little do they know that it brings this woman to tears when she cannot generate her own energy, when she is dependent upon others and depleted. She will never steal the energy source from another but she must learn how to get hers back. So she relearns how to shine. In the process, she becomes the alpha female she always was, apart from the wounding. She becomes her higher self even if the monkey brains don’t like it.

If it sounds like a fairy tale, that’s because it is. Empathic people have always used the arts to communicate this essential truth: divine feminines are broken by the monkey tactics and must learn to rebuild their own energy source (from evil witches, evil queens, and the like). In the process, they ascend. It’s that complicated and that simple. You always were an alpha and that’s why they were threatened by you to begin with. If they used sabotage tactics on you, it’s because they were threatened. When you began asserting your personal power, they saw you were willing to jockey for position. You were ganged up on. The silent bystanders watched in awe as you made that move to claim your seat at the head of the table. They knew it would happen if they did not do something drastic. They hurt you on purpose. They forced you back into the beta position. You would be less threatening to their resources and power that way.

This also has to do with the divine masculine.

In a world of cheap, available sex, men have forgotten what it means to win over a true alpha female. Not a controlling alpha, or an alpha who she herself has not yet earned it (only been given it). I mean an alpha female who has been to hell and back and stepped out still shining. She knows how the system works and she understands how to overcome anything. She’s not easily impressed though people try. “Show me something I myself have not done,” she asks them. They have nothing to offer. So she sits in her quiet tower until someone risks his life proving himself to her. “See how I can climb this castle wall?,” See how I will take a sword for you?,” “See how I will put you first even when it is not convenient for me?” he asks her. In him, she sees the first man she can respect because he has proven she can trust him. He is the only one who is braver than her. (Think of the biological/reproductive importance of this. If he dies, there are more sperm donors but if she dies, there is one less mother to completely care for her children).

Until now, she has never met a man she can respect but he can do things she cannot do herself. She sees him for who he really is and he sees his own reflection in her eyes. For the first time in his life, he sees his real value. The things everyone else told his made him valuable his entire life were things he had to physically possess — tangible, immediate things that had nothing to do with his soul. He finally respects himself. No one else can offer this to this divine couple. And that connection can never be broken.

This is the process the empathic collective has been undergoing for the last few years. For many, it will culminate soon. For others, there is still work to do. Either way, whether you call it stepping into your alpha nature or ascending, it is one and the same.

Religions, cults, and their narcissistic playbooks

Like I mention in my book How to Become Intuitive, growing up in the Southern Baptist Church, I was equally fascinated and appalled by religion. Apart from the indoctrination I received in the church, including rote memorization of the books of the Bible and its verses, I also chose to take in-depth Judaic studies in college. I wanted to collect as much data as possible so I could maybe, one day, come to some sort of conclusion about what was real or simply figure out why and how human beliefs diverged so damn much. I absorbed what I was taught but also questioned or rejected it in some way, side eyeing the stock translations we were taught, as well as the unique cultures that pop up and the methods by which religious dogma is enforced.

My family comes from an area of Pennsylvania flanked by Amish communities and even the city I grew up in Florida has a large Amish sect who’s called it home for many years. As a child, I remember driving past areas of my hometown watching to see the women in their bonnets, the men with their long beards, bicycling alongside cars and fast food joints. I was curious about the people, as well as the rumors we heard as outsiders, and wondered what life was like for those in the sect. This, along with my experience in the Southern Baptist Church, was my first “case study” in religion as well as attempting to understand groupthink.

In college, I took mental notes, and penned some poetry and prose about the strange cultural dynamics at play in the church I was heavily involved in. I figured out how to fit in and gain acceptance and trust but deep down knew I didn’t belong there. I secretly watched documentaries like Jesus Camp and took out my frustrations with the push for young couples to get married on paper for my college courses. For one, I went undercover as a soon-to-be-bride in order to learn how virginal women were treated as they approached their wedding day at a mere 19 years old. I had figured out how to appear to be a perfect Christian lady in waiting. Problem was, I didn’t want to get married and was certain I didn’t want to have kids.

Later, when I lived in Brooklyn in New York City, I studied the Hasidic Jewish communities just a few bus stops away. I wanted to immerse myself, as much as an outsider could, to learn about their traditions, beliefs, and modus operandi. I was an outsider by all means, but I appreciated the unity of the community and how convicted and engaged the followers of this faith tradition appeared. Then a few years ago, I watched the documentary One of Us, a film that follows main character, Etty, as she escapes torture from a husband and community working hard to protect their secrets. She comes up against all forms of abuse and as a single mother, jumps through hoops to keep custody of her children despite incessant intimidation and threats. At the time, this deeply resonated.

Because of my fascination with religion, I later bought and read a book called Escape, written by a former plural wife of a leader of the FLDS (Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints) and became fascinated with her story, which turned out to be a watershed moment for me as I was just entering an abusive relationship with a covert narcissist. Of course I didn’t know that at the time and even sent him the book to read! Years later, I would think back to the harrowing escape of this woman in the book and have to do the same to save myself one night under a veil of darkness and in extreme fear.

I then went on to read several more firsthand accounts by other former-FLDS members, including The Witness Wore Red, who also wanted to share their stories of escaping religious abuse which resulted in their physical, emotional, and mental safety being put in extreme peril. I was amazed at the bravery of these women. And this was well before the #metoo movement which has allowed victims to feel a tad safer, or perhaps more supported, when coming forward.

This past year, my interest in religions and cults has shifted to the Church of Scientology and like all the others, I’ve consumed as many articles, books, and media as possible in order to learn how this institution thinks, operates, and treats its followers and outsiders alike. I have learned that whether the group is considered a cult or religion often does not matter. No matter the group, the patterns of though and behavior directed at “disobedient” truth seers and tellers remains the same; they all often operate under the same narcissistic (perhaps sociopathic) directives in order to retain power and control.

I believe it is important for empaths and abuse survivors to understand the implications of adhering to a specific groupthink (even those “ordained” by God) because the abuse one endures in their personal life is often no different from what powerful institutions or traditions inflict on their followers. By understanding that all narcissism operates in very similar ways — especially in large group settings — you will be able to identify these tactics more easily and quickly, and therefore be able to extricate yourself should you find yourself in the midst of mental, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse even when you are told it is for “the greater good.” Also, by recognizing that abuse starts at the top and trickles down, you can more easily perceive the health of a supposed religious group by simply examining the health of its leadership.

The religion/cult narcissistic playbook:

  1. Make followers feel special (“You are one of us,” “You are so lucky to be here,” “We are an exclusive group”)
  2. Indoctrinate followers (“We have all the answers,” “Our way is the right way.”)
  3. Make followers cut ties with real friends or family that are not in the group
  4. Dehumanize outsiders (“They are not like us. They are beneath us. They are ungodly”)
  5. Teach people to not believe what they instinctively feel or observe about the group
  6. Make followers feel guilty for thinking for themselves or questioning
  7. Threaten those who question (“We won’t like you,” “You know what will happen to you”)
  8. Take away rights from those who question (job, friends, finances)
  9. Take away basic needs from those who question (ability to buy food, have shelter)
  10. Send a hoard of flying monkeys at those who sense the problems (stalk, harass, collect information, spread rumors)
  11. Shun those who question (cut off one’s entire social network)
  12. Defame those who question
  13. Make an example out of “suppressive people” to followers of the group (“This is what will happen if you do not obey. You don’t want to be like them, do you?”)
  14. Find new followers who believe the official story line
  15. Tell new followers how terrible the old followers were (aka: karma transferance/shifting)
  16. Repeat.

Many victims of interpersonal abuse already understand how devastating it is to start your life over as an adult with nothing. It is as if you have no history, no resources, no clout or favors to call in, and yet you must find a way to survive in this world. It is like being born again as an adult and having to rebuild everything from scratch. It takes tons of time, effort, money, grace with yourself and patience. It can also, possibly, heal you because you are releasing everything that harmed you. The same is true for those ousted by the religion they engaged in, whether by choice or no choice of their own. Either way, this is how these groups operate and they almost perfectly mimic how an abuser treats a victim in a one-on-one setting.

This is when you begin to spiritually ascend, too, by the way because you are choosing the truth over the lies and trusting your intuition once and for all, no matter the brainwashing employed. Not to mention, you’re overcoming very toxic past life people and patterns who have kept you energetically imprisoned nearly every lifetime. After the pain and turmoil, you will have been reborn and you will finally be free.

Channeled Messages for the 2020 New Year

Forgiveness & the 7th chakra

Forgiveness feels really good. It is the essential healing component that is the final key in the lock. It is the essence of the 7th chakra that many have a hard time mastering. Once you forgive, there is no need to judge because there is no reason to keep another at a disadvantage. You know that no one or no thing can hurt you. You are above it all and you always overcome it all.

You have to forgive yourself for feeling ashamed, stupid, and disappointed in yourself for not seeing the truth and being fooled. You hated who you were. That’s because who you were was a false pain suit; of course you hated yourself. You have to forget who you were programmed to be and how much you dislike that person in order to remember who you are.

This is why Christ says you have to believe by faith that you are healed. It requires your faith as you shed the egoic energies: no one else can see them and no one else can release them. Only you can feel them. Only you know when you are healed. You will not receive confirmation or validation in such an extreme groupthink setting.

Your divine nature, ego, and fascia

Returning to your god nature is no different than your chakras being aligned once again. Think of them as “censors.” The right side controls your conscious mind and ego. You begin to have imbalances between the left and right hemispheres of the brain because the right side is constantly rewarded and reinforced.

The left side of your body connects to the part of the brain that understands emotions, which the chakras are dependent upon. You have to understand emotions in order to understand the messages of the divine; they can only be felt in order to be translated.

So, many empaths strain to compensate for the chakra imbalance caused by the presence of the right-sided ego. Often, the left side of the body presents much worse physically and pain-wise because of the straining to listen to the emotions you receive and overcome the heavy incessant energetic weight of the ego. That’s why you see dysfunctional fascia predominantly on the left side of the body (the feminine wound).

The karmic separation of the divine masculine and divine feminine

Men are being hypnotized by cheap, available sex. It keeps them in a primal state, unable to shed the ego and ascend. They cannot help it because it is a biological response, but it is their obligation to recognize and overcome it (which is possible). It drives everything they do. And since men control the patriarchal system which governs all, fake love and sex controls the men and women of the system alike. This is why up until the great societal changes we have seen in the last few years, the sexes were forever imbalanced in their ability to shed the ego. Women have always done the hard work because they’re more capable of empathy (due to biology and reproduction potential for ensuring young survive).

It took the uprising of women to shame men in order to scare them into submission to the higher self. The only thing that would stop them is the literal shrinking of the ego — because man was forced into it to in order to avoid societal shame (which biologically means fewer resources, respect, and potential female partners — which are his biological imperatives). It is the slow undoing of the ego and patriarchal system by melting it or forcing it, rather than doing it voluntarily, which is a female biological trait. Biologically, the female expects no help from others (or very little help) because she is the sole biological provider (the teacher, shelter, food, protector) for a baby after birth.

Think of the males’ hypnotic state not so much as┬ásomething sexual but as brainwashing and you’ll have less anger or resentment towards them. Eventually you will think of sex as something similar to two goats bleating: an annoying biological characteristic that is driven by your flesh suit, that cannot light up your energy centers forever. You were taught to associate getting “lit up” energetically with lusts that can’t sustain you and can never be satisfied so you chase them forever which completely detracts from your spiritual growth.

Is laughable that humans want to be treated as a species higher than animals. You don’t behave as such just because you possess intellect. Your intellect doesn’t make you higher than the monkeys. You still behave like them until you shed the ego.

The twins will join soon. Forgive now so you are not at odds with yourself. Otherwise you will always be at odds with yourself and change the vibration of everyone around you which will change the frequency at which we operate, which is the frequency of perfection. That is why this place is so painful for you: you are constantly reminded of and hurt for your imperfection under the false construct that was imposed onto you by the ego.

You are scared to admit this reality to each other because of the fear you will be judged. You have to share an “insane” idea that is completely contradictory to everything you have ever been taught or brainwashed into believing: that your soul is not from here.

Judgment by “God”

You’re still scared of God. “God” is nothing to be feared. He is like a scarecrow. He exists only to scare souls into believing he is the final judge, that you do not clearly know what his expectations are, and that you can never meet them. You have been programmed to believe you will be rejected by this “God” you fear so much, so you choose to keep returning to the karmic prison system incarnation after incarnation.

On escaping the matrix

Notice the reaction of those around you once you start waking up to the reality that you live on an insane, unfair, and unhealthy planet. As you begin escaping the programming, those around you start pretending. They ignore your essential truth and findings. They tell you you are wrong. They put a blank spot in their minds so the truth is not energetically reflected back to you. They punish or re-train you. Or they distort the truth so you are utterly confused.

They will always pretend this reality is normal or ideal, and like you are insane for waking up to the reality that contradicts this. There’s so many more of those who believe they are living in a heaven on Earth, or trying to purposefully overlook the problems. You will always come up against groupthink that talks you out of your convictions.

That’s what the ego does. It’s like being brain dead, repeating the same things that were trained to them. Or doing those things. They spread the energetic virus of compliance and groupthink and you stand out like a sore thumb because you question.

The ego virus

Like any other “virus”, the ego has an innate desire to reproduce and live forever and ever. The problem for a divine soul is that you have to become infected with the ego in the process of life, and then recognize it and reverse engineer it on yourself (as well as others) all while being in a spiritually amnesic state until you receive full chakra power once more. No easy task.

Do Aspies make better intuitives?

In the foreword of my book How to Become Intuitive, I talk about the main driving force behind my interest in becoming intuitive was feeling like a fish out of water my whole life. It was like everyone else in the world was privy to some big secret, except me. Every time I walked into a room, their secret (whatever that was), stared me down and I wanted more than anything to figure out this mystery that had not been given to me — and why it had been given to them. Why did they fit in so well? Why did they instinctively know what to do? How did they know what they all wanted to hear? Because I didn’t know the secret, I distanced myself and became a bystander, a quiet observer who noticed, questioned, and reflected upon it all.

From a young age, I didn’t understand people, I didn’t get why they did certain things (like lie), I didn’t understand their humor, I didn’t get why humans talk about “fluffy” insignificant things when they could be exploring the mysteries of the world, didn’t understand how or why people use passive aggression as a tool to get their way, didn’t perceive how they felt versus what they were communicating (and why those two often diverge), and I blindly trusted everyone I came into contact with — only to later be disappointed when they ended up hurting me. There was always a discrepancy between what I felt and observed and what others told me was true. It created a great deal of cognitive dissonance within me and I doubted myself, my value, and my version of events for well over thirty-two years.

When I became a health coach, I was scared. I wanted to help people, but also, I had to promote myself, I had to talk to people, I had to meet with them, and I had to come up with things to say — spontaneously. Every day since my graduation from nutrition school in 2011 has been a struggle to get better at this (and I have), but more curiously, I got to see behind the scenes of my clients lives and minds for the first time. I came to find they too felt different on a basic level and didn’t seem to understand the reality we had been born into. They had questions they had hidden from everyone, even their closest loved ones, that they just couldn’t seem to reconcile. I learned that my talent was not just identifying pattern after pattern within their diet and long list of symptoms and physical health complaints, but also, affirming their experiences. The things they felt were also things I had felt, but there had never been a safe place for them to express them. I enjoyed telling them they were right, and showing them the many ways they had been talked out of their truth. I only knew this because it had also happened to me. I liked watching them get stronger and stronger in their perceptions and be more easily able to recognize when someone was lying or when there was a facade in the way. As they got stronger, I got stronger.

I’m inching closer and closer to an official Asperger’s diagnosis for myself with the help of some great professionals. Being an empath explained a lot. Being a trauma survivor explained a lot. Dyscalculia and reading comprehension problems (the learning disabilities I mention in my book) explained a lot as well. But even after deconstructing these things about myself, there has remained something inside of me that is still too “different.” It’s like living in a world in which the operating system is 100% in opposition to yours, so every day is a fight for survival. Nothing around me makes sense and yet I have to continually adopt strategies to be able to function within a reality that makes no sense to me. I end up looking clumsy, disinterested, stupid, and quiet. It’s either because I’m working so hard to block out stress-producing sensory input, because I’m trying not to annoy people with my questions, because I don’t know where I fit in or who I will bother, or because I feel inadequate for not knowing the “secret.”

For those wondering, it is possible to be both an Aspie and an empath or intuitive. The two do not have to be at odds. I cannot generalize for all people on the spectrum, but the way I see it (and as I am now being told), I was born with the inability to understand things that come naturally to most others. This created a drive to explore, observe, and comprehend. I notice and question everything because nothing (or, very little) makes immediate sense to me. Because I can’t look at something from a standard angle, I have to use my empathic abilities to see why others feel the way they do about it — and how those opinions and perceptions vary. Then I contrast that with how I see something and try to discern whose opinion could be the most valid in a given situation with all of the data I have accumulated — or I try to perceive how much more data I need to acquire in order to see something clearly apart from my own bias. I never assume my own belief is correct because I had been told for so many years that I am always wrong. Only by collecting mounds of data and analyzing it via experience can I begin to see where my perception is correct or incorrect and therefore, what I need to do or learn to see the most clearly. Because Aspie’s are often bullied, as was true in my case, the fear of being wrong still lives deep within me, and so I never assume something — I always examine it.

The stereotype that most people with ASDs do not feel or are cold isn’t true. We can feel quite deeply, in fact, but often do not understand how to process these emotions. I saw this over and over in my work with kids with Autism over the years. For me, this meant not being able to integrate my mind and my soul until much later in life. I knew what I felt and I knew what I had observed cognitively, but I did not know how to get the two to get along. That, at least in my case, is what caused me to not be able to understand people, their words, emotions, or intentions, as is often said of those on the spectrum. My initiation into intuition, though, as I detail in my book, forced me to reconcile what I felt and what I saw. That huge divide suddenly inched closer together until they integrated into one confluent experience. I learned that the belief there was something wrong with me was incorrect — I learned that people lie!

It sounds ridiculous but I’ve heard friends and family of those with Autism explain it this way: you can tell someone on the spectrum the reasons why they should eat garbage and they might believe you. It’s not because they’re stupid; it’s because they’re so trusting. I was so naive to the fact that people lie to cover up their egos that I believed I was wrong about everything I felt and observed. Only when I began channeling information about the ego and subconscious mind did my awkwardness suddenly make sense. I didn’t understand people because what I felt emoting off of them was in opposition to what they were telling me, because that is what the ego does. That was the big secret I had been left out of. I wasn’t wrong; I was seeing too much truth and their egos didn’t like that. I suspect this is true for many on the spectrum. As I say in my book: it’s not that you’re wrong in your perception; it’s that you’re used to being told that you are wrong!

I have also observed that the deeper I went into my personal trauma, the fewer episodes of “I’m going to die” from sensory overload I experienced. Before I knew that I had trauma — or the extent of it — I felt like I was in a constant “fog” of being overstimulated — or trying to avoid becoming overstimulated by the noises, people, obligations, and chatter around me. I wanted to be around people but just couldn’t seem to make it work for longer than short stints. The raucous conversations, the steady stream of visual stimuli, and the unpredictable nature of others drove me into extreme anxiety because I didn’t know how to anticipate or process it. Once I started the lengthy process of deconstructing my trauma, that fog of confusion, disorientation, and fatigue lifted. I still get overstimulated easily and experience anxiety in circumstances others would consider easy, but now I know it won’t kill me and I can get through it so I avoid it less and less.

My point is, there are many layers to intuition. And there are many ways to be an intuitive. Some of us were driven into it because the world we were born into doesn’t make sense. Some were born without understanding the monkey brain (aka ego) and had to learn about it along the way. Some have always perceived the truth but were talked out of it. In any case, there is always more room to learn from this crazy world and become more solid in your trust of yourself, your higher self, and your higher power.

Join the How to Become Intuitive free & private Facebook group!

Hi guys, I hope you’ve had a wonderful holiday weekend!

Good news: I’ve created a F*R*E*E and private Facebook group for those who have already purchased my book and want to chat about it! Talk with me and others about where you are at on your journey towards being or becoming highly intuitive, the karmic partners in your life, the life lessons you’re mastering, and the core wounds you’re overcoming. 

Or, just use it as a resource to ask me questions about intuition, karma, twin flames, soulmates, the supernatural, channeling messages, healing the physical body, and more!

I’ll be doing giveaways from time to time in this group as well as live videos. So join us here!