How to open your heart chakra

Every single person alive on the planet is seeking love in their own unique way. Some have confused love for validation, acceptance, or grand displays of affection. Others have confused love with pain, heartache, and rejection based on their past experiences and in anticipation of future painful events. Some avoid love even when it looks them in the eye.

As I have said before, real love is unconditional, whether it comes from a romantic partner, parent, friend, or family member. Unfortunately, real love is also very hard to come by. You see, we have been taught to only give love to certain people and only receive it from others. We have been taught if want love, we must have something to give first. We have constantly opened and closed our hearts in the presence of others because we thought they deserved it or they didn’t — or because we were punished or judged for offering it in the first place (“there must be a string attached; they must be slutty/players/egotistical”).

In contrast, a peaceful world would look like humans giving and receiving love always, to anyone, simply because it is another soul. The level of love would not need to vary, but perhaps the expression would. You wouldn’t love the gas station clerk the same way you love your child, but you can still exude love, empathy, and respect nonetheless. You can still look them in the eye and smile and care, regardless of not appreciating how they did or did not treat you. It’s separating love from roles, karma, and shitty behavior.  

It’s not enough to just open your heart chakra. You have to figure out why it was blocked to begin with, and you also have to figure out why you are rejecting love at this very moment. Yes, you are — we all are. It is not enough to want to get love or give love. Unless you are actually open to receiving it, there is nothing you or anyone else can do to make you feel loved. Often, we choose partners who we subconsciously feel are unable to reciprocate love because it is easier to be slowly rejected or not truly seen. 

Not being able to receive love comes from a fear of being unworthy. Unworthy because of your past mistakes, unworthy because of what you lack, unworthy because few others have ever offered it to you in its pure form, unworthy because of how you have been treated. “It must be because I am inadequate” you may believe. 

If you are energetically sensitive or want to be, start with this visualization: locate your heart inside of your body. How does it feel? Tune into it deeply. You may be surprised to feel there is literal pain inside the organ itself, not just surrounding it, and not just emotional pain but literal physical pain that has embedded itself into the structure. Identify one tiny speck of pain — separate the individual pains from the overall pain — and acknowledge it, ask where it came from, then consciously release it. You should feel lighter instantly. Do this until your heart doesn’t ache. 

I have noticed many people have a literal energetic split in their hearts — a line down the middle separating the left and right ventricles (at the pulmonary valve), as though there is a chasm indicating a separation between masculine and feminine love and the ability to integrate the two. I’m not just talking about those with literal heart problems (though heart disease is a severe manifestation of a broken heart when we’re talking metaphysics). I mean we have craved feminine love (openness, receptiveness and whether you are a male or female doesn’t matter) but have been forced into more masculine displays of love because we have lived in a masculine system thus far. We have accepted the masculine love because we didn’t know there was another option, an option in which your soul can take the lead, rather than your physical body, superficial gifts, or desire to hide how you really feel because it was “childish”.

Many also have lodged their heart deep into their throat chakras. You have learned not to say the words you really want to say because of how you have been hurt or rejected in the past; because of how you were told love is naive, needy, silly and will cause you problems — or that the kind of love you want just doesn’t exist; how only children open their hearts and adults must learn to hide them because that’s what it means to age. A blocked throat chakra isn’t just about fear of speaking, being heard or seen, or finding the right words as to not risk rejection; it is about holding back your expressions of love.

The heart chakra is also called the fourth chakra. Understand that generally depictions of the chakras involve the front of the body — energy centers moving up from the base of the pelvis to the top of the head. But the energy isn’t intended to come in without exiting. It must be able to flow through or pass through the entire human structure without getting blocked. In this case, because the heart chakra is in the chest, you may notice upper back problems or thickening of the fascia between your shoulder blades. A blocked heart chakra can also cause breathing problems (which can lead to anxiety, allergies, poor sleep, and more), chest pains, and other chest restrictions as if you were wearing a very tight girdle around the area. It can also cause you to have very tight or restricted movement in your left shoulder blade (because, of course, the heart sits in the front left chamber of the chest). So don’t just look for fascial adhesions on the front of your chest (an indication you were blocking love from entering), also look to the upper back (to see if you were preventing it from truly touching your soul, or were trying to prevent it from leaving for fear of abandonment). Sometimes I see people (both men and women) who have such tight, thick skin (fascial adhesions) on their chest or upper back, I feel a huge density and wonder how they’re still breathing. It’s not a myth that you can die from a broken heart; fascia restricts blood flow, nutrients, and more to those areas. 

How to open your heart chakra:

  • Identify your core wounds and life lessons — these will tell you why you are rejecting or scared of love
  • Understand that real love is unconditional, without constant checks and balances, you can never get better in order to receive love, and if you mess up you can still be worthy of love
  • Get rid of fascial adhesions on your chest and upper back with myofascial release
  • Do energy work to eliminate old, toxic energies from your heart center
  • Offer love that is from the soul, rather than the 3D world
  • Accept that those who cannot love you back and in their own pain and wounds
  • Love yourself unconditionally, flaws and all
  • Figure out how your definition of love varies from true love because this will cause you pain
  • Accept what others have done to you in the past without projecting it onto the future — remain present
  • Offer love to everyone (kindness, respect, care) without expecting anything in return
  • Identify social or relationships problems and work to remedy them (complicity or being lukewarm is the antithesis of love); ie: change the karma; love is a feeling but also an action
  • Forgive yourself and others
  • Stop cycles of self-hatred or dependence on vices to feel okay
  • Breathe deeply
  • Stretch

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Stages of ego death

Some call it a dark night of the soul. Others call it ego death. Whatever the term, the empaths are being called to shed their egoic mind and ascend to higher planes of emotional and spiritual awareness. Plain and simple, the world needs it right now as we shift out of trauma and fear and into love and peace. Specifically, the energies from December 12-21 are demanding it of us and it is heavy. We need it on a personal level and we need it on a collective level. 

Ego death is when you are forced to reconcile your karma, when you are forced to see your blind spots, your problems, your complicity, the way you hurt others and the way others have continually hurt you. Think of the ego like prison bars around your brain. It keeps your emotional, spiritual, and mental health inside barriers, not allowing you to grow and expand, not allowing you to see beyond the circumstantial, the ways you have always thought about things and always done things. It keeps you in a low vibration and prevents your true life path and genius from rising.

Think of this process like this: there lies a huge block of ice in front of you, which represents your ego. You take an ice pick to the block and begin hitting it, smashing pieces to the ground. It’s freezing outside so there is no chance of it melting on its own. A few shards hit the ground and you ask your higher self or higher power questions about why those shards froze into the block to begin with. You get answers and see your blind spots and wounds for what they really are; why you made those decisions or passively allowed them to transpire. It can take weeks, months, or years to slowly but surely chip away at the ice and you can’t except it to do the work itself and you can’t overlook the tiny shard on the ground. They all mean something and they all lead you to the truth and without examining each one, your ego stays put. Only when you take care of each individual ice crystal with the heat of friction will you allow it to dissolve in the cold weather. 

Once you begin this “icy” process, it shifts into something more like a tornado. It’s like a proverbial opening of Pandora’s box and all of the things you suppressed and hid or pretended weren’t there come rushing out. You can’t control it, you have to just ride the waves. Imagine you are observing a tornado close-up from the side of the road and suddenly find yourself caught in the eye. You’ll get blown to the left, blown to the right, blown up, down, and sideways inside of it. It controls and suspends you and you can’t get out. As you pick away at that ice block, you may lower down into the storm system, feeling like you’re making progress about exiting and feel exuberant about it. The next moment, a huge chunk of ice falls off the block and you get drawn up higher into the storm system — one step forward, two steps backwards. You thought you were making progress but suddenly realize how far you have to go to climb your way out. So too is the shedding of the ego. One step forward, a few steps backwards, always lowering into the cone, then getting drawn back into the eye. It’s not your fault, it is normal. 

Stages of ego death:

  • Spiritual awakening (some kind of impetus wakes you up out of the amnesia. Awareness of the disconnect from your soul — all of the ways you have compromised yourself for other people’s benefit)
  • Seeking (delving deeper into your religion, spirituality, or esoteric and metaphysical matters that you vibe with)
  • Trying to explain or bring others into your process because you desire true connection
  • Isolation (when you begin to ascend on your own path and realize others, even your closest loved ones, are no longer on the same wavelength as you because you were wearing a mask when you bonded with them and so were they)
  • Grief (life isn’t what I want it to be/thought it would be)
  • Avoidance (trying to avoid the ego problems that led you to this point; blocking spiritual ascension)
  • Denial (“things aren’t as bad as they seem; I can live with my ego — everyone else does. I don’t have any problems.”)
  • Acceptance (“I need to do something to change this situation”)
  • Change (recognizing major life changes you need to make in order to ascend and doing it despite the hardship)
  • Deconstruction (identifying every bad/low energy in your body and soul, identifying problems and picking them apart to see what the cause of it was and what led you there — identification of core wounds and life lessons)
  • Detaching from karmic partners (letting go of toxic relationships that keep you in your ego. This can happen quickly if you are headstrong, or you may go back to them time and again because you worry about the consequences of leaving them — there is typically punishment involved. It’s not called karma for nothing.)
  • Figure out who you actually are on a soul level and pursue that
  • Regret over what you have done to others
  • Seeking friendships and partnerships with people on your new wavelength
  • Resentment and frustration, or sadness, anger and bitterness (at those who have wounded you time and time again, or cyclical situations you always find yourself in; re-triggering. This can happen many times throughout the process)
  • Release of the triggers by finding new ways to look at them (ex: this person did that to me because of this thing that happened to them, they didn’t realize what they were doing; I wanted love and acceptance so I made this compromise which caused this consequence, etc)
  • Peace and acceptance (finding your true life path, releasing karma, accepting yourself and your choices or lessons, healing your core wounds)
  • Good fortune (getting what you deserve — good things — because you shed your ego)

If you are going through this or know others who are, please please please use kid gloves with these people. They may act out, or withdrawal. They’re not depressed, weird, or bipolar. They’re having an existential crisis. Don’t talk about them/gossip, take advantage of them, or backstab while they are down and confused. (If you have true mental health problems, please seek professional support, but I am only speaking about transient life issues based on a spiritual awakening here). 

You or others also need understanding, support, and connection during this time. Typically, someone shedding their ego doesn’t want or need advice. Telling these people what you think is best for them won’t help or work because everyone is on their own unique journey and so your words of wisdom can do more damage than good since this person needs to tune into their intuition and higher power in order to find their way out. Your life experiences will not help someone who has had vastly unique experiences that you cannot understand (this is why I offer Energy Readings — so I can be a blank slate for you and lead you to your higher truth). This means listen and absorb or accept what they are going through without pressuring for answers or resolution. This means sitting with them to absorb their energy instead of expecting something from them. In life, we have often had Maslow’s hierarchy of needs withheld from us. During this time, those awakening desperately need higher-level emotional support in order to self-actualize. 

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Empath sabotage type 8: karma shifting

This is a heavy topic. I’ve not only been through it myself but I have witnessed it happening to my clients. It’s miserable and it sucks, in all honesty. I’ve written seven (possibly eight) other blog posts on the topic of empath sabotage and this is one of the biggies. If you are highly sensitive or empathic, this has likely been happening to you your entire life, whether you have realized it thus far or not. 

Let me explain this phenomenon to you. 

We live in a world or duality. Up and down, day and night, sleeping and awake. We also live in a world of many different types of people. I am not speaking about external identifiers in this case (sex, religion, ethnicity, etc). I am speaking about matters of the soul: empathy versus narcissism. In this world exist three types of people: empaths, narcissists, and those somewhere in the middle. Also note that empaths can exhibit many traits of narcissists if they have been surrounded by them or otherwise influenced by them. Narcissists can play the empath part. It gets confusing. Only by feeling a person’s energy and intention can you differentiate. 

We all also have our own individual and collective karma. That is, the problems we need to work through in the here and now in order to spiritually ascend. Without resolving these things, you will come back lifetime after lifetime, or you will experience in this lifetime, the same problems, hassles, triggers, and pains. 

Empaths by and large carry a greater burden of karma because 1). you have been here so many times and hold the burdens of those lifetimes within your subconscious mind and body, and 2). others have shifted their own karmic consequences onto you to purposefully avoid the consequences of their actions, or to not be found out as egoic and you have accepted it. It’s the classic “shoot the messenger” archetype — it is easier for others to blameshift rather than accept the karma. It’s also like being thrown to the wolves while the proverbial mob cheers at the bloodshed because no one else wanted to be the sacrificial lamb. Empaths have always been the sacrificial lamb. 

Point blank, here’s how to stop that shit:

Undoing your own karma and that others have forced on you is the best course of action because then you will be free and find peace. You will no longer be sick, stressed, and indebted. It’s not fair and it is abusive when others do this to you, but you can make it better yourself — I have seen it and done it. 

If all else fails, remember this — judgment day will come. It may not be now. It may not be soon. They may keep getting away with the transplaced pain. But everyone will have to answer for what they have done. They will only get away with this for so long. And unfortunately for them, the groupthink will mean nothing when it comes to the scales of justice. 

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