As the reality around us continues to implode, as the truth is exposed in record time, those on the ascension journey find more and more falsehoods to shed: the lies you have been told about yourself, the abuse you endured, the many times you questioned but were told to stop asking (or speaking). If little here has every made sense to you, that’s a good sign.
You have been born into a constructed reality. At birth, you were assigned a role to play, according to your parents’ or caregivers’ desires. Yes, you were given a name and gender, a weight and length, but also, as you grew, you were taught who you are and who you can become. You were told what you like, what to eat, how assertively or softly to speak, what to wear, how smart you are as well as your perceived aptitude or talents, whom to love or marry, which religion to choose, where to live, and on and on.
Nearly everyone else in your family, group, tribe, or community fit into these expectations so seamlessly you wondered why you’ve had trouble doing the same. There has always existed a void between these expectations and who you really are. Your true self became a dirty little secret, hidden deep within the recesses of your subconscious mind.
When you did not obey the orders you were assigned at birth, you were spanked, shamed, chastised, neglected, or isolated. You were told how wrong or terrible you are. You were reminded how unlike everyone else you are, and if you wanted love or success, you must obey the orders. For some, far worse punishment ensued as soon as they made a decision for themselves, including physical beatings, rape, extreme mental duress, and for some, even death.
You became more and more frustrated or dejected at the person you have been forced to become versus the person you feel you inherently are. Few have ever asked who you actually are deep inside of your soul, and indeed, if they knew the truth of who you secretly are, you feel they would reject or bully you altogether. It is as if there is some secret inside of your soul that makes you set apart from the rest, as if you are a stranger in a strange land. The physical body may be acclimated to this place but your soul never has.
The next big step is releasing the identities you were assigned, in both this lifetime and others. As I write about in my book, How to Become Intuitive, the soul cannot be chained by human labels. Your soul always was and your soul always will be. The ascended masters came to teach us this lesson, namely, you are not your body and you don’t die after you die; you go on. To where you go on is up to you.
Imagine being reincarnated lifetime after lifetime and bring forced to become who society, the state, and your caregivers, friends or family wanted you to be. Imagine what you were forced to do just to survive. Imagine ignoring your own soul each time in order to fly under the radar and not be punished, or to live and eat and have shelter. To fit in. Imagine how much subconscious programming you would accumulate that must be cleared. This is the job of those ascending. This is the soul roll call you received some time ago: to finally figure out who you actually are.
Think of it like an inverse reaction: as more cover ups and lies are exposed to the public, the greater insight you have about the truth. The truth of yourself, of others, and of why you are here. As one gets worse, the other gets better. As one become more chaotic, the other becomes more clear. You can utilize the principle of the opposite to finally perceive the truth.
It is safe to completely give up your false identity. The one others assigned you that has nothing to do with who you actually are; your human persona that appeased but did not fulfill you. Once you shed this, few will see your real self. They won’t be able to recognize it because they don’t even recognize it for themselves. But some will. And you will. It’s okay to become the higher self and identify as such. The you that is separate from all wounding, physical limitations, judgments from others, and instruction is who you really are. What if you stopped caring what others want you to be and started living as an infinite being within the system? You would be free of your karma and your soul will be able to go on after this constructed reality collapses.
Until you deconstruct the abuses you have endured, you will not be able to perceive the truth. In my book, How to Become Intuitive, I dedicate an entire section to abuse and how it sabotages your perception and third eye activity due to punishment for seeing the truth and/or cognitive dissonance where you cannot trust yourself because only your abuser “knows the truth.”
In the case of abuse, your perpetrator has trained your brain, hormones, and nervous system to react according to what they wish you to do, to become, and to believe. Every time you take a step away from them, they reinforce a negative feedback cycle of pain. If your trigger is physical pain, they will trigger you this way back towards compliance. If your trigger is emotional pain, they will trigger you that way in order to lead you back towards them. Every time you attempt to take a step away, you get that buzz of pain. Think of it like an electric dog collar. You step your foot outside the gate and you may not be affected. The owner might give you a little zing to teach you to obey. But leap over the fence to freedom and you’ll get a non-stop high-pitched buzzing straight to your neck and what kind of an animal can function optimally with stinging nerves and high pitched tones in their ears?
Abused empaths have been trained to respond to their abuser’s cues as well as their punishments. But human beings are mammals after all and therefore, can be trained much like any other mammal. Until we know how it is happening — or why — we won’t be able to reverse engineer the problem. In this case, responses to abuse. Even if you’ve left abuse, you will still have trauma responses. Perhaps it is fear, anger, aggression, anxiety, or depression. Perhaps you reach for your vice of choice every few hours in order to take the edge off. Either way, your entire day, or perhaps, most of it, is consumed with the subconscious desire to get rid of the trauma. The kicker is you could still actively be engaging in it.
What I mean is that since your nervous system and brain, particularly, were trained in a way so that you obey, not only is that likely still your pattern or rhythm, but it is also likely something you do without thinking. If every two hours your abuser called or texted you to check in, reassert their power, and shame you, your body still expects this. You may no longer be near your abuser, but trauma isn’t easily forgotten by your body. Chances are you are still engaging in the energy suck-energy drain pattern that your abuser(s) instilled in you.
Not only does this mean you will still be sending them your energy thanks to their training, but you will also be unable to live out your life’s purpose (dharma) in order to complete your life’s work. Think of your day as a long line dotted with moments you were taken back to the trauma. Connect the dots and you’ll see all the zig zags they took you through that day (or week). You can’t function in an optimal way if you are always taking breaks to reward your abuser. Energetically, it’s like short circuits sending a jolt of energy directly back to the person who trained you that you cannot energize yourself.
As I say in my book, please understand that abuse is not your fault. Additionally, how you respond to abuse (aka torture) is also not your fault. But what I am saying is that until I recognized how much energy I was sending back to my abuser by way of my own “short circuiting”, I didn’t realize how much they were still controlling me. Learning a new functional way of being is hard work. It requires you put yourself first, apart from their pain programming. It means you don’t think about what they want, you think about how you want to create your day. We can fix those shorts in our electrical energetic field so that our entire day is not built around a false construct that an abusive personality set forth for us.
Forgiveness isn’t just a reflection of the state of your heart chakra and ability to love. Some people built walls of stuff around them to keep people out. Some people build energetic walls around their heart to keep themselves from feeling anything because life has not served them much in the way of real love. Either way, it become difficult to forgive. But forgiveness is also a reflection of the state of your highest chakra, the 7th, which sits atop your head.
The 7th chakra is the energy center representing the mystical, the ethereal, and all of the knowledge you had once forgotten but received once more (if you’ve done the personal work to heal yourself and become intuitive) in your current incarnation regarding the meaning of life. This is the most difficult chakra center to unlock due to the spiritual amnesia we are subjected to while our parents, caregivers, and society reinforce the ego programming of our prescribed persona and perpetual wounding based on the wounding they carry within themselves. Unlocking this chakra means you become an ascended master, “enlightened” just like the greats (my personal favorites being Jesus Christ and the Buddha).
If you have been a victim of abuse (and really, as I ask in my book, who hasn’t on planet Earth?), it will often feel impossible to forgive. For an empathic person, this will tear at you and eat you up because it keeps you in a state of hatred, fear, betrayal, isolation, or cognitive dissonance which is not your normal frequency. Perhaps you avoid the geographical location you were first abused. Or you worry about running into your abusers while you are out and about so you seclude yourself. Or perhaps you remain locked in a mental prison, reliving the trauma through a series of never-ending flashbacks which leaves you reaching for vices to take the edge off.
Either way, it is difficult for a victim to forgive for several reasons. First, you didn’t deserve what they did to you and there is no explanation you can come to to excuse their behavior any longer. You desperately want to understand why and often there are no real answers. (Of course, as I explain in my book, abuse at its core, can only be explained and understood energetically, so understanding the metaphysical translation of your pain is essential since it makes little sense otherwise). Secondly, forgiveness means you no longer close yourself off to certain people. For a victim, this is scary because it potentially means you might offer yourself to someone who destroyed you.
This isn’t just difficult because your abuser probably doesn’t deserve your kindness, but also because it means you will have to let your guard down and they may take advantage of you again. They may do it to you all over. Your nervous system is working to prevent this from happening at all costs. Your anxiety, depression, fears and phobias are all a reflection of your body’s attempt to prevent future abuse. In order to forgive, you have to overcome your body’s own programming. This is not easy.
This doesn’t mean you should ignore red flags, let abusers back in, or offer yourself to them for more cat and mouse games. It means you create a peace within yourself to let go of the energetic walls they forced you to build, and that are holding you back. It means seeing this place for what it really is (an energetic and elitist prison system) and understanding you are not your body, and that your soul extends beyond what they have done to you. It means remembering who you were before your incarnations on Earth, before the adverse experiences, and forgiving the system that enabled the abuse to occur in the first place. It doesn’t mean forgetting, it means remembering.
Forgiveness does not mean you excuse or condone what happened to you or the person who exercised a devious or deranged power against you. It means you understand and accept the sick system we have all been unwitting participants in. It means you recognize your divinity once more in order to ascend out of the hell of the third dimensional reality in which pain is a constant. In doing so, you reclaim the power of your 7th chakra and perceive the truth about reality.
Do you allow life to happen to you or do you plan out life and get nervous when it doesn’t go according to plan?
The answer to this question is important.
A three-dimensional life is where you plan nearly every detail, or have expectations about what should happen in your life, then work until those plans become a reality. You don’t necessarily have to be a driven person, you just have to expect something from your life and actively seek that out, while rejecting anything that doesn’t fit into your narrative (and usually get disappointed when it doesn’t perfectly work out). I did this. Most people do.
Traditional thinking tells us to have a plan, map it out, then become frustrated or more determined when it doesn’t go according to our efforts and desires: we are told if we don’t get what we want, it’s by some error of our own: we weren’t good enough, we weren’t capable or determined enough; we must work harder, get more education, acquire more experience, and so on. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with wanting good things for yourself and working hard to achieve them. There’s nothing wrong with fighting for your cause. There’s also nothing wrong with planning for the future. The problem lies in the fact that this often causes us to miss the cues and directives from the divine about the real path we’re supposed to take. So we become frustrated when the divine redirects our paths and throws our personal plans for success and happiness out the window.
As I write about in my book How to Become Intuitive, the divine doesn’t care about the preconceived notions we have about or for ourselves. Most of those notions are ego-driven anyway and look good from the outside but do little for the soul. The 3D choices may gain us clout, acceptance, validation, success, and wealth, and you will become the ideal “persona” the karmic system expects of you, but they usually lead you away from your dharma (true life’s path) and back towards your karma (more difficult lessons to be learned based on the wounding that is controlling you).
Additionally, the divine doesn’t care about what we think should happen after we follow their directives. “If I trust my intuition, then everything will finally go right. Everything will magically work out” is flawed thinking. Trusting your intuition does not ensure everything will work out to some fantastical conclusion. It simply means you will have completed a lesson and overcome a wound. You probably won’t receive any accolades for this and no one will notice, but you will know and feel lighter and better. Still, you will continue to exist in a lower-vibrational 3D world that is imperfect and full of pain. The difference is that you yourself will be in less pain and you will be more apt to succeed in what the divine directs you towards. It is a compromise we all must decide to make: forgo the ego desires for worldly success, or follow our heart’s calling and do what we feel we are called to do despite the hardship and despite there never being a solid conclusion to the pain we are subjected to. But now you will see you don’t have to let it get to you.
In other words, it’s impossible to live a fifth-dimensional reality while controlling your experiences. If the biblical stories teach us anything, it is that the divine will direct our paths but only if we stop resisting it. Those who resisted were left with more karma to sort through (Jonah and the Whale being a prime example). Or, we can see in other stories, such as Noah and the Ark, that bucking the 3D system and all human reasoning protects you in the future, though you will not receive immediate societal benefits and face much hardship in the process.
Becoming your higher self is a matter of rejecting the chord of desire you have attached to the outcomes and experiences you have. Once you see that everything is meant to teach you something, you no longer reject the awkward, lonely or winding paths the divine sets before you — even paths no one but you, or even you yourself, do not understand. You will choose them over and over again and become more disillusioned with the true reality that surrounds you. You will see the stark discrepancy between the 5th-dimension, the realms of the soul, and the 3D physical world that is tangible, yet ever-fleeting. You will wonder why you ever played into the karmic system to begin with. You will become intuitive.