How to tell if you are in karmic relationships

abuse, chakras, chronic illness, core wounds, empath, energy, intuition, karma, mind-body, narcissism, past lives, relationships, sex, stress

We are all here on Earth to learn lessons. In the past we had the ability to overlook this option and live in lower 3D vibrations where we distracted ourselves with entertainment, illusions, and projections. We’ve pursued comfort, luxury, and pleasure at the expense of the lessons our souls signed up for so long ago. But 5D ascension has arrived and we are being asked to finally choose between the two. Many believe we are here by chance, for no reason, beings stuck on a ball floating in the ether by pure luck. Because of this, seeing signs, synchronicities, and purpose becomes nearly impossible through the contrarian ego. Once you begin to understand who you are on a soul level, your life path, and therefore what you are here to do you can see the bigger picture and how it is all connected and orchestrated.

The biggest part of learning our life lessons involves engaging with other people we have known so many times before. These are the most challenging relationships you will ever have, whether you are close to these people or not because they are karmic partners intent on teaching us the lessons. Without karmic relationships, resolving your karma would be damn near impossible. It is the struggle within the relationships that forces us to reflect, grow, see the interconnectedness, and activate your chakras through the principle of the opposite.

I can’t tell you how many times you have been here before and how many go-rounds you have had at this thing called life. I cannot even gauge that for myself though I have had past life recall of several difficult lifetimes I have had to relive this go round and can read this on others as well in Energy Readings. That said, imagine you have been here hundreds of times in various incarnations. Because of this, the chances you are in relationships with people you have never known before are very slim. This explains why some people are repelled or attracted to each other; why there are longstanding feuds and resentments that seem to stem from nowhere, and why we get triggered when the same pattern repeats itself in the here and now. It also explains why someone can abuse you or display narcissistic tendencies, while they treat others well and others look to them like a god. It just doesn’t add up otherwise.

I want you to know — while you may be blood related to some of these people in this lifetime, anyone who is unable to grow with you or holds you back from personal growth is but a karmic attachment. I’m not advocating dropping friends or family left and right, but I am advocating putting your health above other’s expectations and bad behavior. Instead of feeling obligated to people, remember that you are obligated to yourself and your life’s purpose. Until that clicks for you, you won’t resolve your karmic debt and find mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual peace. From here, you have two options: grow with them (ideally, try at this until you can’t try any longer — until you are lead to see it is a dead end), or grow without them (this will come about once you have exhausted all options and see they are holding back your ascension). As always, the choice is yours.

Also know that it is possible to resolve karma between people but it requires all parties to be on board to change the habits and cycles into healthy, functional relationships. More times than not, however, that doesn’t happen. However, don’t let that keep you from trying. Empaths have been trying for so long and my point here is that you cannot keep putting your happiness on hold because you don’t want to give up on people you love. You can love them but not love the behavior. If they truly love you, they will actively work to resolve the karma. It is possible, it is just not common.

You may wonder the differences between healthy relationships and karmic relationships. Here’s how to know who in your life is a true teacher, no matter how negative the relationship, or no matter how happy it sometimes is:

The relationship has never had true stability; it is constant cycles of happy/sad, make-up/break-up type thing.

You have never felt at ease in the relationship.

You cannot be your true self; you have to change yourself or hold back.

They don’t have your back. They throw you under the bus.

They think of themselves before you or others involved. (Note: this can be done in a healthy way — you should put yourself first, but from a place of boundaries, not selfishness).

They gossip about you to others instead of resolving problems.

You cannot communicate — it is as if you are speaking a different language. Trying to resolve problems always ends in arguments and nothing gets accomplished.

When you want to grow and change for the better, they hold you back. They become insecure, jealous, and needy or purposefully sabotage your efforts.

They withhold love or connection to keep you small.

You have a hard time getting away from these people. They always draw you back in (with money, sex, make-up/break-up cycles, and other forms of manipulation).

They treat you like you are less than them, you will never be good enough, you are always having to earn their approval despite you being worthy in your own right.

They will not address problems with you — there is an amnesia in the relationship in which things are glossed over, never spoken about, and swept under the rug. This is because if problems were acknowledged, it would open Pandora’s box (aka: karma).

Deep down, you don’t trust them or they don’t trust you.

They make you second guess or talk you out of your intuition.

They hide and keep secrets that are detrimental to the relationship. Or they force you to do this for fear of losing their approval.

There are unspoken expectations in the relationship that you have to live up to or there is punishment involved.

They keep you low vibrational — you don’t feel well around them. Your health may have also been severely affected.

You live out very obvious archetypes that have nothing to do with the here and now (ex: slave/slave master, king/queen/peasant, parent/child, brother/sister, lovers, teacher/student, etc.).


Intro to the basics of energy reading (plus memory clearing for the Super Blood Full Wolf Moon Eclipse)

abuse, astrology, chakras, core wounds, empath, energy, karma, mind-body, past lives, relationships, stress

Sometimes when people throw around the term “energy” it can feel too esoteric, lofty, indistinguishable, and well, fake. People who are not tapped into their empathic abilities may not even believe energy to be real. It is unseen, after all, so how can it be real? First, I want to explain how to interpret and discern which energies you’re feeling in order to translate them and process them. Intuitives like me aren’t guessing or telling you what you want to hear. We are feeling energetic residue from the emotions and intentions you and others have about life. We not only observe intonation and word choice, behavior, subconscious errors, and mannerisms, we also feel for the truth in a given situation because your thoughts generate emotions which generate feelings which empathic people pick up on. 

I will start by saying these things: I went to university to get a degree in writing and before that, was a French major. I love language and playing around with words because meanings can suddenly change based on how you piece words together and because words are powerful and cause people to see things in a new light or feel things they haven’t felt before. Twice in my life I’ve had formal, extensive educational evaluations done due to some serious mathematical learning disabilities and each time the outcome was the same: I can’t do math and my brain overlooks mathematical sequences as if there were a blank spot (like I am blind to equations) but despite this, I can decode in other ways, including language and emotion (math lacks emotion, after all, so as an empath it is like a foreign language I never learned).

The most recent evaluation I had was in 2017 by a psychologist and while I  was doing the translation part of the test (turning shapes into letters to generate a code), he said, “I’ve never seen anyone decode as fast as you.” I was surprised but it also made sense. We all have unique gifts to share with the world and I don’t call myself an Intuitive lightly. It means something to me because I have been decoding energy my whole life out of necessity (being raised in abuse and having no one to confirm your reality will do that to a person) and I enjoy teaching others to do the same. Energy is a language unto itself, much like English or French, but energy is universal and can be spoken by anyone, anywhere, no matter their origins or level of education — even by babies or those unable to talk — and energetic “sentences” are much more complex than spoken or written word. Let me explain.

Imagine you are sitting in front of your computer. You are familiar with the menu tab at the top of the screen and look to it when you need to perform certain functions on your device. From the basic menu are drop down tabs that allow you to perform more specific functions if you hover your mouse over it. It may look like this: menu>edit>copy>paste. You know what I mean. You choose what to click on based on what your intention is and the more specific function you need, the more hovering you do. 

Here’s where energy comes in. Now imagine a similar drop down menu in your mind that signifies meanings from within your soul. For example, if I tell you to visualize a tree, a tree will pop in your head according to what you consider to be the most basic kind of tree. What you consider to be a basic tree will vary, depending on where you were raised, which kinds of trees are in your current environment, etc. So hypothetically you click the menu bar and click “tree”. Now a basic tree comes to your attention. You probably don’t have many emotions or memories tied to the idea of this tree because it’s so generic. But if you want to be more specific, you may visualize a pine tree, for example. If you think back to the menu, you clicked “tree” then made a more specific selection from the options that appeared on the menu like this: tree>pine tree.

While you are imagining this tree, you are very likely to also imbue the visualization with some meaning through nostalgia, feelings and emotions, or other recall because suddenly this tree means something familiar: the holidays, perhaps, or cold weather, family, hot cocoa, sledding, etc. One energy reminded you of another, despite a pine tree actually having nothing to do with your life, which created a layered effect. Suddenly they are all connected and create one bundled energy.  It would look like this: tree>pine tree>snow>holiday memories>family. Each idea represents an individual energy but together it creates a whole, a new energy. And these combinations are infinite and totally unique to you. 

This is what an Intuitive feels on you and this is how we know things we otherwise shouldn’t: we decode the layered energy or meaning. We are decoding the “bundle” of feelings that you are giving off. Again it is because you have created emotions that create a feeling which represents a very specific story that an empathic person can pick up on, especially when they have honed their abilities. It’s kind of like Jeopardy — you present us with an answer then we have to ask the questions. You give us the bundle, then we have to decode each individual strand of energy and ask why you are presenting with it. 

Now that you understand the basics of energy reading, I want to offer you a visualization for this powerful Super Blood Wolf Moon Eclipse January 20-21st, 2019. It is a powerful time of change. The masculine is undergoing ego death and the feminine who have ascended are being upgraded into true self-love and self-worth. It is a force that causes us to revisit the past and look forward to the future. 

Many who have been working through their karma the last few years have had a very rough go of it. You have been dealing with trigger after trigger, impossible situation after impossible situation. You’ve lost, you’ve been exposed, you’ve been back-stabbed, abandoned, and tortured. I trust that many reading this have already begun the processing of transmuting this pain into something useful (chakra activation through learning the lessons once and for all), however, you may still feel anger, resentment, frustration, or sadness about all you have been through and despite your work may be unclear how to let go of it. 

You can use this potent full moon eclipse to release the pain of the past. Here is a visualization to clear past negative energies so you no longer live in cyclical thought processes which trigger negative emotions. The success of it will depend on how much personal work you have done thus far and how adept you are at manifestation at this moment. If you need to hold onto the pain to finally understand it’s purpose, then you won’t be able to release these blocks. 

Imagine a paved two-lane road that travels the length of your mind. On each side of the road is green, lush grass and there are no buildings in the background. There are no cars on this road. There are also warning signs, accidents, and roadblocks lacing the path, which represent the challenges or all of your thoughts, feelings, and experiences that bring you to your lowest places. Each time you think back over your life experiences, you forget the road is even there — you only see the clutter which makes you feel bad each time you have cyclical thoughts about what went wrong. For example, you are having a great day then suddenly you remember some terrible thing that happened to you a few years ago (aka a warning sign on the road) and suddenly you forget to live in the moment and are mentally travelling down the road backwards through all of the problems. As I stated above, you may even get pulled into the “strands” of energy that have created that sensation within you — dissecting each and every little thing that went wrong and stewing over it. We’ve all been there. 

The visualization is simple. Imagine all of the warning signs, roadblocks, and accidents being cleared from the road. Suddenly the road becomes quiet and peaceful instead of chaotic and negative. You feel the sun, clouds, grass, and chirping birds. When you think back through your life experiences in your mind, those negative triggers are no longer popping up drawing you into negative cyclical thinking. You no longer feel the same frustration and resentment in your body. You feel at peace. As your consciousness travels down this road backwards, nothing is frightening you; nothing is pulling you into chaos. Now each time your brain tries to take you backwards down this road filled with chaos, accidents, litter, and signs, simply imagine the road being swiped clean and revisit the peace you feel when it is clear. Do this as many times as you need to. Eventually it will become second nature to feel the peace rather than the triggers of the past. 

Use this time wisely. Clear your karmic energy so your future can be bright. 

The inherent fallacies of abuse

abuse, core wounds, empath, energy, karma, mind-body, narcissism, relationships, stress

As I’ve said before, my career started out in nutrition and it is still work that I love to do: coaching clients towards much better health and getting to the root of their illness with specific, functional foods. However, over the last 8 years with clients, we inevitably always needed to address mind-body issues that were keeping their health in a poor state. Namely, empathic people were coming to me wondering why they were so sick and unable to make diet alone work for them. It wasn’t until we deconstructed the stressful energy in their lives and the stressful relationship dynamics that they were able to break the cycles. Enter abuse, or, that is, hidden and unspoken abuse.

Abuse is a buzzword at the moment, and with so many people sharing their stories, you may assume that you haven’t experienced any because your story may not be as dramatic as someone else’s. Simply put — this is just not true. Abuse exists on a spectrum and while some people have experienced extreme variations, others have experienced much more nuanced forms and neither is “better” or “worse” — all are valid and need to be recognized and processed.

I don’t operate as a therapist, so if you have been abused, please seek professional help. That said, my role is to help you identify the nuanced, subconscious energies that are present in your life and body and in order to heal, you have to break these cycles once and for all. That means abuse thrives in unspoken, subconscious fallacies that the victim is forced to accept as truth. Once you see the fallacies in the unspoken assumptions, you can break the pattern of feeling less than, unworthy, and sick. For some, these words have actually been said to you. For others, it is implied. See if the below could be true for you.

The inherent fallacies of abuse:

“You are imperfect so I deserve to abuse you”

“You react to my abuse so you yourself are abusive”

“If you could be better, I wouldn’t have to abuse you”

“You are incapable of doing anything for yourself, so you need me”

“You are so ugly/stupid/undesirable you will never find anyone else to love you; you need me”

“Everyone else sees how imperfect you are too and when I speak with friends/family, they reaffirm this for me”

“I deserve to control you because of how incompetent you are”

“You will never get the affirmation you seek from anyone, so I don’t need to give it to you either”

“I am allowed to be emotionally unavailable with you because you are so lacking” / “I deserve to have my needs met elsewhere”

“You cause nothing but problems”

“Your desire for reciprocation makes you needy”

Once you begin to recognize these implications in your relationships (whether it be work, family, friendship, or romance), start to see how false and misleading these statements are. Even if these things have not been said to you directly, but a person’s behavior implies these things, that too is abusive. You deserve love, reciprocation, trust, and desire from all relationships. If the flow of energy is one-sided and one-directional, you deserve to free yourself from such karmic bonds.