How karmic partners pull you back in

abuse, ascension, chronic illness, core wounds, empath, energy, intuition, karma, narcissism, past lives, relationships, sex, stress

Your karmic partners are the people with whom you share the most challenging relationships. These are the relationships in which you are not allowed to be your true self, there are always strings attached, there are constant checks and balances, there is no unconditional love, and there is little to no support. Chances are you will try time and again to make things healthy with these people but realistically there is just no way it can be done — because both parties must want healthy change. Most often, only one person will desire this and have the strength and courage to do so. In that case, staying in these relationships will start to drain your soul, suck your life force, and bring you pain, misery, and poor health because you are unable to self-actualize.

If you attempt to resolve your karma with these people through the principle of the opposite, it will be very difficult to get away from their grip. They will throw every tactic at you to try to pull you back in, so you cannot see a way forward without them — whether it is because they pull you into further false love and attachment, because they make you question yourself and how you truly feel, or because they threaten you in some way. Once you see their tactics for what they are, you will be able to see reality much more clearly and make decisions that are healthy for you and you alone.

Here are the ways a karmic partner will try to pull you back in:

They offer you fake love: lust or sexual relationships, money, fun outings or socializing, “good/bad” cycles (hurting you then giving you a gift, or hurting you then being nice and kind for a little while only for the cycle to start all over again). This is where you get some of your needs met for a short time, only for things to get unhealthy again. Because you get some needs met sometimes, you wonder if you are in fact the problem rather than the nature of the relationship. You wonder if you should settle.

Brainwashing: This sounds heavy and it is but it happens with karmics. This is where karmic partners purposefully implant false ideas, false realities, doubts, and fear so that you think you are stupid for wanting to leave. It is where you feel out of touch with reality because this person is working so hard to make life seem different than what it really is. Religion, spirituality, legal proceedings, and more can be used here to force a false reality on you. I’ve experienced and had women tell me a partner started quoting the Bible, using tarot cards, the law, and conspiracy videos to appeal to “authority” to convince you that you are wrong in your desire to leave.

Emotional manipulation: Guilt, fear, anger, resentment, belittling, shame, and more will be used by a karmic to try to get you to settle in the relationship. “You’re a bitch”, “you’re emotionally manipulative”, “no one else will ever want you”, “I’ve been so good to you”, “I’ll break you”, “how could you do this to me?”, “you’re unstable”, “you’re crazy”, “you need professional help”, etc. will be thrown at you once this person knows you deserve better.

Taking away your resources: if a karmic has any connection or control over your finances, job, home, or car, they will try to take it from you so you cannot start over without them. Suing you for all of your money, closing bank accounts, trying to coerce you to sign legal documents, trying to coerce you to make them promises that give them power and control, etc. will all be used against you.

Social pressures: If the karmic can’t get to you, they will use others to do this. This means gossiping to their friends and family about your “terrible” decision you made to choose yourself, to try to be healthy, to leave them. In doing so, the social group will often side with the karmic to make you feel bad for wanting to leave. You may feel you cannot leave because if you do, you risk losing your whole social circle. And you also risk blemishing your reputation because they will not stop the defamation until they get what they want.

They throw your deepest fears at you: If none of these things listed above are enough, just know whatever your deepest fears are will be brought to the surface. This is where your core wounds come up and you will be forced to face them (abandonment, rejection, loss of pride, etc). They know if they can use your weaknesses against you, there is a good chance you will stay. Feel the pain and do it anyway.

Getting away is possible. But keep in mind it will not be easy. It will be the hardest thing you have ever done because you are having to overcome seriously strong negative energy and intentions, but also you are having to overcome every past lifetime cycle that was not resolved. Utilize the principle of the opposite, get help from someone who is not connected to the situation, and tune into your intuition to see the correct path you should take. It will be so worth it in the end.

Your twin flames are your karmic road map

3D, 5D, ascension, chakras, core wounds, empath, energy, intuition, karma, mind-body, narcissism, past lives, relationships, stress

In case no one has told you: we are all here to resolve our karmic debt. To absolve it, to work through it, to right the wrongs, to change the age-old script — to finally fucking do something new and healthy. The karmic system is crumbling, as we have witnessed over the last few years. Skeletons are coming out of closets, victims are spilling the secrets, and small steps towards societal change are coming about. “Yes, finally!” you may think. But before the world can step into 5D awareness, the greater empathic collective must resolve our own personal karma. It is a monumental feat but we are up for it.

Navigating your own karma can feel impossible at times because it is the old “can’t see the forest for the trees” scenario. When life is throwing you all sorts of curve balls, you wonder which direction to take, what is true, and how to see the reality in a world of projections and distractions. I can read your karma based on the situations you are in. It’s not hard to find, to a trained eye. Karma presents itself in the form of triggers, wounds, conflict, worst fears, anxieties, and, well, other people. Twin flames are our biggest source of karma.

If you want to figure out what your karma is in order to resolve it, begin by identifying the people who are surrounding you. Truly, they are your best road map. There will be people you know whom you have no past life karma with and that is great. These relationships will feel easy, light, and you will be allowed to be your true self (and vice versa). However, there will be many others whom you have known before in incarnation after incarnation, with whom you shared varying roles but the underlying energy was always the same. In fact, the underlying energy gets worse as lifetimes of unresolved conflict build up on your soul.

What that means is that any karmic partners you are currently in relationship with (or those with whom you have gone your separate ways) are a big red bullseye as to your karmic debt. Ding, ding, ding. They’re giving you the way out of the karmic system in order to get into your true soul’s path and purpose without the indebtedness and constant drama. But because they tend to trigger us so much, we get caught in stress cycles instead of doing something about it. Despite the hurt they inflict, despite the wounding, they are giving you the way home. Listen, watch, and feel for the clues.

Here’s how to read your karmic map in relationships:

How does this person trigger you on a subconscious level? (Ie: I always feel powerless around them, I feel anxious around them, I can’t trust them, they always throw me under the bus, they are not open to me, etc). Your conscious mind may not be aware of these things but when they do something that upsets you, ask yourself why on a deeper level. It’s not just about the present circumstance (like, for example, they said something nasty to you). It is about the deeper underlying energy (they make you feel less than in their presence).

How does your body react around them? Based on unresolved wounds from past lifetimes, you will tense your body in certain ways to compensate for the stress of the relationship. Do you always feel a certain way around them (stomach aches, sweating, shakiness, etc)? This will likely get worse over time as issues remain unresolved.

What do they tell you you need to change about yourself? No one likes to hear that we are imperfect and need to change. But a twin flame or karmic partner is going to go out of their way to try to change you. This is unhealthy when they are forcing it on you or not accepting you for who you presently are. However, despite the pain they inflict, there is sometimes an element of truth in what they say. Take a deep look at yourself and ask if there is even a grain of truth in what they say. If so, don’t react to what they say but begin the personal work to cultivate your strengths and let go of any perceived weaknesses.

What would you need to do to make the relationship better? What is being swept under the rug that finally needs to be addressed? That is the karma. And the reason why it is being swept under the rug is because if it were to be addressed, it would require a huge effort to correct it. Stop ignoring what needs to come up. Face it once and for all, then try to right the wrongs.

What or whom does the group remind you of? You can have one twin flame or many. Whether you call these people twin flames or karmic partners doesn’t really matter. If you begin to see them on a soul level, who or what do they remind you of? Sure, it may be a group of people at your work you are facing challenges with but do their energy and intention, interests, or behaviors seem more like they are from another place or time? Do they seem more like a group of religious fundamentalists? Do they seem more like mothers rather than men? Do they feel like siblings? Your present roles mean very little, while their energy can tap you into who you were in past lifetimes.

When it comes to your karma, follow the clues and cues. The answers are all around you.

“Flying monkeys”: hidden hands of narcissistic abuse

abuse, core wounds, empath, energy, karma, narcissism, relationships, stress

My paternal grandmother was the kind of cliche you think about when you think of grandparents. She treated me like her prize, her first-grandchild gem after raising four boys, her princess. She didn’t like many people, but she liked me and that meant something. She snuck me treats, bought me altogether age-inappropriate fashion magazines, showed me off, and let me watch movies I shouldn’t have. Movies that scared me though I pretended to be fine; movies that my mother would never allow.

For years I had nightmares about The Wizard of Oz after we watched it together. “A classic” she called it. The Wicked Witch of the West came to me in dreams and woke me up in an anxious sweat: her shoes under the house, her hovering over a rocking chair in our living room, her cackle and monkeys who did her bidding. I knew she wasn’t real but that movie scared me for years.

Only years later did I learn packs of flying monkeys aren’t always fictional, at least when it comes to narcissistic abuse. I have no idea who coined the psychological term “flying monkey” but it is a distinct variation of narcissistic abuse, inflicted by those in the periphery of the abuse — not the actual abuser themselves. Yes, there are people who will abuse you by proxy — and enjoy it.

You see, narcissistic personalities do not like to get their hands dirty. They prefer their indiscretions to be more, well, discrete. They like when others do their bidding for them, much like the Wicked Witch. Flying monkeys are enablers of abuse, plain and simple. These are the friends, family, and acquaintances of the perpetrator who believe the false storylines the perp has sold them — that they themselves are the victim. Because of this, the monkeys will do anything they can to harm, hurt, and control the victim so the victim has no support as they leave abuse, or so that the victim questions their decision to leave. They cause doubt, insecurity, instability, and fear. They participate in the abuse by further harming the victim.

These people believe they are doing the narcissist a big favor by “getting back” at the victim for them. They pretend to be like-minded or compassionate to the victim in order to get information they can relay back to the perp: they spy and they spread rumors and participate in smear campaigns. What they do not realize is that getting back at someone for someone else’s sake will never be a good deed, no matter how you slice it. They are under the strong energetic control of the abuser who will give them certain benefits if they do their bidding, including social standing, attention, favors, etc. so they play along.

Narcissism rests on a bed of secrets and lies. In order for the lies to continue, a group of accomplices must uphold the narcissists version of reality because the victim no longer is. “He’s such a good guy”, “She’s so religious”, “He’s so funny”, “She’s such a caring person” will no longer be believed if the truth about the mental, emotional, or physical abuse were to surface. So the abuser goes out of their way to create alternative storylines and insert others into these stories so they are not exposed. Because others care for the narc or again, receive some sort of compensation, they are willing to do their bidding.

Abuse does not exist in a vacuum. As such, everyone surrounding the abuse will be touched by it. As an empath, these things can be hard to reconcile because you want to assume the best of others, believe they will have your back, think they will help you, and you see the good in them. You will not understand how someone you loved and cared for would enjoy harming someone who is already a victim. But the reality is that many people get off on hurting others. Only when you have been through it can you see the sad, sick truth.

If you are considering leaving abuse, please keep these things in mind. It is not enough to escape your abuser. You must also escape the flying monkeys who will be sent after you. They will make things feel impossible. They will throw wrench after wrench in your path. As I have said before, pick them up and tighten the screws. Do not allow them to make you trip or fall. The monkeys are only sent to prevent you from resolving your karma with the abuser. They will trigger your core wounds. They will make you ask yourself “if this really worth it?” They will show you you are about to lose everything.

Abuse is a community issue and leaving the community as well as your abuser will be the hardest thing you have ever done. Let these people go. You deserve relationships with people who will not inflict pain on you for someone else’s benefit. They had the opportunity to resolve the karma in the situation but they chose to close their minds and eyes. They had the chance to develop their intuition and read between the lines. They didn’t. Let go of your karma with them. They were never good for you anyway.

Follow me on Instagram and watch my video for more of my take on flying monkeys.