The short circuiting empath

Until you deconstruct the abuses you have endured, you will not be able to perceive the truth. In my book, How to Become Intuitive, I dedicate an entire section to abuse and how it sabotages your perception and third eye activity due to punishment for seeing the truth and/or cognitive dissonance where you cannot trust yourself because only your abuser “knows the truth.”

In the case of abuse, your perpetrator has trained your brain, hormones, and nervous system to react according to what they wish you to do, to become, and to believe. Every time you take a step away from them, they reinforce a negative feedback cycle of pain. If your trigger is physical pain, they will trigger you this way back towards compliance. If your trigger is emotional pain, they will trigger you that way in order to lead you back towards them. Every time you attempt to take a step away, you get that buzz of pain. Think of it like an electric dog collar. You step your foot outside the gate and you may not be affected. The owner might give you a little zing to teach you to obey. But leap over the fence to freedom and you’ll get a non-stop high-pitched buzzing straight to your neck and what kind of an animal can function optimally with stinging nerves and high pitched tones in their ears?

Abused empaths have been trained to respond to their abuser’s cues as well as their punishments. But human beings are mammals after all and therefore, can be trained much like any other mammal. Until we know how it is happening — or why — we won’t be able to reverse engineer the problem. In this case, responses to abuse. Even if you’ve left abuse, you will still have trauma responses. Perhaps it is fear, anger, aggression, anxiety, or depression. Perhaps you reach for your vice of choice every few hours in order to take the edge off. Either way, your entire day, or perhaps, most of it, is consumed with the subconscious desire to get rid of the trauma. The kicker is you could still actively be engaging in it.

What I mean is that since your nervous system and brain, particularly, were trained in a way so that you obey, not only is that likely still your pattern or rhythm, but it is also likely something you do without thinking. If every two hours your abuser called or texted you to check in, reassert their power, and shame you, your body still expects this. You may no longer be near your abuser, but trauma isn’t easily forgotten by your body. Chances are you are still engaging in the energy suck-energy drain pattern that your abuser(s) instilled in you.

Not only does this mean you will still be sending them your energy thanks to their training, but you will also be unable to live out your life’s purpose (dharma) in order to complete your life’s work. Think of your day as a long line dotted with moments you were taken back to the trauma. Connect the dots and you’ll see all the zig zags they took you through that day (or week). You can’t function in an optimal way if you are always taking breaks to reward your abuser. Energetically, it’s like short circuits sending a jolt of energy directly back to the person who trained you that you cannot energize yourself.

As I say in my book, please understand that abuse is not your fault. Additionally, how you respond to abuse (aka torture) is also not your fault. But what I am saying is that until I recognized how much energy I was sending back to my abuser by way of my own “short circuiting”, I didn’t realize how much they were still controlling me. Learning a new functional way of being is hard work. It requires you put yourself first, apart from their pain programming. It means you don’t think about what they want, you think about how you want to create your day. We can fix those shorts in our electrical energetic field so that our entire day is not built around a false construct that an abusive personality set forth for us.

How to recognize Christ Consciousness in others

Over the years I’ve worked with all brands of empaths (and now just write for them), but there is a special kind of empathic person who I consider a high processor. That is, extremely emotionally intelligent, damn near all-knowing because of how much they perceive and feel, and extremely intuitive. They also have the hallmark of open fourth and sixth chakra activity — or the desire and ability to open them — despite their own wounding blocking these energy centers due to karma. These are the people that possess a Christ Consciousness (CC).

For some, even these people themselves, this term is a turn-off because of how religion and the message of Jesus Christ have both been distorted and been used to distort and harm others. But one can possess a Christ Consciousness without adhering to a religion, even a formal method of spirituality, and without any set standard dogma to cloud their vision. In fact, many of these people have been severely harmed by the teachings of the church.

Despite this, some empaths possess a natural intuition that, though driven deep into their subconscious mind, has never truly gone away. These people have an innate third eye activity though they tend to doubt it and have been driven into states of cognitive dissonance due to abuse and ego. While anyone can possess an intuition or develop one, it is the hallmark of a true Christ Consciousness empath to seem to have a higher perspective on life, pain, and the emotional state of themselves and others even if they are consciously unaware of it.

With so many people invested in and interested in spirituality and religion worldwide, it can become confusing to know who to trust, whose information to take seriously, who to align yourself with, and more. Keep in mind that everyone possesses their own soul vibration, and sometimes two: the one based on ego wounding, and the one based on their true self which often resides in them subconsciously. In other words, the hurt inner child and the socially acceptable adult. Narcissists pretend there is no hurt inner child and empaths can’t help but resonate with the wounded spirit because it feels overwhelming to them. Usually, those with a CC tend to push their true selves deep into the recesses of the subconscious mind, like a game of hide and seek, so it is not enough to observe someone for their belief or behavior. You must also feel for their true soul vibration. CC empaths are almost always seeking the truth and disappointed or dejected when they cannot find it.

Truthfully most in the spiritual or metaphysical communities do not possess this “hide and seek” energy, which tells you a lot. Not only is the spiritual community rife with covert narcissism, it’s also full of those who do not possess a true Christ Consciousness. As an energy reader, I can tell you that this means, while they are perhaps not malignant, they feel a bit more blank or grey in their auras than those whose fourth and sixth chakras come shining through their energy field like a brilliant light. When you find that brilliant light, it’s hard to forget, and it’s also difficult to not become really excited, like you finally found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. It’s a feeling of, “Yay! You’re my people! I finally found you again!” And you seem to pick up from nowhere, despite not having history in this lifetime.

Due to the trauma these empathic people incur, they may end up frustrated, angry, anxious, or depressed, secretly hating the world but choosing the higher path of kindness and love until they are forced to their breaking point by abuse. Ultimately they are their own worst judge and expect the very best of themselves and get disappointed when they do not live up to their expectations of perfection. They continually, even if only subconsciously, choose life lessons and attempt to learn from them, if only to stop their own internalized feelings of imperfection (which they tend to feel very ashamed of).

Once their wounds are identified, they are able to access heart chakra activity once more. Chances are, before this, they go through life attempting to love and share love at the capacity which they understand it, which is greater than most. However, until they recognize the fake (karmic) love they have been offered thus far, they will not be able to understand divine love, as offered from source energy because they are simply amnesic to that vibration. Think of frequencies as a library of sorts. Only when you “read” the book again can you understand the information you forgot. If the “books” are burned or suppressed, then you can’t adapt to the new vibration because you haven’t relearned it. When and if they realize how much the version of “love” that was passed down to them by karmic partners lacked, they will be able to project the true vibration of love from their fourth chakra.

If you are a person who possesses such consciousness and find yourself in the presence of another who does as well, you will find that both of your abilities are amplified when together. Not only will you realize your own healing powers, but you will recognize theirs, and you will both be able to tap into the vibration of universal truth once more. As you both heal your wounds, this feeling will intensify and you will look forward to being around each other because not only will they feel like home to you and vice versa, but they will remind you there is more as well as who you were before your incarnations on Earth.

Usually, unless karma or wounding is between you, there is an immediate trust, a feeling of home and security, and a deep understanding that while you may externally be different, you certainly operate in the same way. They may not be in the healing arts or believe in metaphysics, but deep down, their values represent these truths. They work to stop entropy, they enjoy solving problems, they hate backwards movement or stagnation, and they believe we can all get along if we tried. Your excitement about them is because you share soul resonances that have been very difficult to find up until now. You may feel a deep love for them that you cannot understand. It is because they remind you of the love of your true spiritual homeland.

“I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.”

“For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

Things to ask yourself when conversing with or around a narcissist

  • How can my words be used against me?
  • How can I state my words with enough information to get my point across but not enough for them to have additional “ammo” that they can then distort?
  • Which words are triggers for them? How can I avoid those?
  • How would this communication from my end appear, legally? How would theirs?
  • How can I communicate my intention without subconsciously projecting my wounds or reminding them that they’re triggering me?
  • Where are they trying to lead me?
  • How can I respond as succinctly as possible?
  • Which assumptions am I relying on instead of verbalizing that can cause them to obfuscate my meaning to later use against me, due to lack of specific clarity?
  • How can I draw more information out of them?
  • How can I get them to accidentally admit to their devious intention?
  • Which higher authority can I take their communication to, in order to protect myself?
  • Which logical fallacies are they attempting to use on me? How can I get them back on track or point those out?
  • In which way do they believe themselves to be smarter than me? How can I use this to my advantage?
  • How will they try to have the upper hand?
  • Which assumptions do they rely on about me (I’m stupid, not well-connected, I don’t perceive their intention, I can’t prove their intention, etc.)?
  • Does my narcissist have access to my dairy/ journal, email, texts, accounts, apps, or other data? Is this something they could use against me?
  • How can I expose them for lacking empathy?
  • How can I expose their wild accusations and conclusions?

Why it’s hard for victims to forgive

Forgiveness isn’t just a reflection of the state of your heart chakra and ability to love. Some people built walls of stuff around them to keep people out. Some people build energetic walls around their heart to keep themselves from feeling anything because life has not served them much in the way of real love. Either way, it become difficult to forgive. But forgiveness is also a reflection of the state of your highest chakra, the 7th, which sits atop your head.

The 7th chakra is the energy center representing the mystical, the ethereal, and all of the knowledge you had once forgotten but received once more (if you’ve done the personal work to heal yourself and become intuitive) in your current incarnation regarding the meaning of life. This is the most difficult chakra center to unlock due to the spiritual amnesia we are subjected to while our parents, caregivers, and society reinforce the ego programming of our prescribed persona and perpetual wounding based on the wounding they carry within themselves. Unlocking this chakra means you become an ascended master, “enlightened” just like the greats (my personal favorites being Jesus Christ and the Buddha).

If you have been a victim of abuse (and really, as I ask in my book, who hasn’t on planet Earth?), it will often feel impossible to forgive. For an empathic person, this will tear at you and eat you up because it keeps you in a state of hatred, fear, betrayal, isolation, or cognitive dissonance which is not your normal frequency. Perhaps you avoid the geographical location you were first abused. Or you worry about running into your abusers while you are out and about so you seclude yourself. Or perhaps you remain locked in a mental prison, reliving the trauma through a series of never-ending flashbacks which leaves you reaching for vices to take the edge off.

Either way, it is difficult for a victim to forgive for several reasons. First, you didn’t deserve what they did to you and there is no explanation you can come to to excuse their behavior any longer. You desperately want to understand why and often there are no real answers. (Of course, as I explain in my book, abuse at its core, can only be explained and understood energetically, so understanding the metaphysical translation of your pain is essential since it makes little sense otherwise). Secondly, forgiveness means you no longer close yourself off to certain people. For a victim, this is scary because it potentially means you might offer yourself to someone who destroyed you.

This isn’t just difficult because your abuser probably doesn’t deserve your kindness, but also because it means you will have to let your guard down and they may take advantage of you again. They may do it to you all over. Your nervous system is working to prevent this from happening at all costs. Your anxiety, depression, fears and phobias are all a reflection of your body’s attempt to prevent future abuse. In order to forgive, you have to overcome your body’s own programming. This is not easy.

This doesn’t mean you should ignore red flags, let abusers back in, or offer yourself to them for more cat and mouse games. It means you create a peace within yourself to let go of the energetic walls they forced you to build, and that are holding you back. It means seeing this place for what it really is (an energetic and elitist prison system) and understanding you are not your body, and that your soul extends beyond what they have done to you. It means remembering who you were before your incarnations on Earth, before the adverse experiences, and forgiving the system that enabled the abuse to occur in the first place. It doesn’t mean forgetting, it means remembering.

Forgiveness does not mean you excuse or condone what happened to you or the person who exercised a devious or deranged power against you. It means you understand and accept the sick system we have all been unwitting participants in. It means you recognize your divinity once more in order to ascend out of the hell of the third dimensional reality in which pain is a constant. In doing so, you reclaim the power of your 7th chakra and perceive the truth about reality.

When the empath becomes the alpha

As I’ve said in other blog posts, including Narcissists Believe Themselves to be the Ruling Class, empaths have been demoted to a status underneath their narc “handlers.” You as the empath are to obey, not question their authority, and always — even if subconsciously — put yourself in a position of subservience and submission. On the surface it may appear as though you wear the pants in the relationship (or you share them equally) but once you push back a little, you begin to perceive the glass ceiling by which you are allowed to assert yourself and your personal autonomy. This is why it is such a challenge to become your higher self once more: those deeply rooted in the ego will not like you challenging them. Once you become that ascended higher self you will be above them in your spiritual abilities once and for all.

Here’s what I’ve seen from female clients over the years: empathic women naturally fall into a role of submission despite their great intellect and emotional intelligence, despite their unique skills and talents, and despite their superpower to heal others with their words, ear, art, or presence alone. Some of the most beautiful creatures have considered themselves the worst, the ugliest, and the least successful. It’s like that quotation that’s credited to Sigmund Freud: “Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.”

If an empathic person is living in a world in which the majority of other people are not empathic, that means you are surrounded by those who operate from an ego-centric personality and not divine providence or guidance. In other words, you are probably surrounded by assholes. They don’t know or believe they are, of course, but you are surrounded by people who still operate from the outdated monkey brain and therefore, will use any means necessary to squash the competition. If that means sabotaging your self-esteem, career, and relationships, they will.

It’s very difficult for an empathic person (a woman especially) to overcome the power of manipulation she has experienced at the hands of other women. “Aren’t we all supposed to be fighting for the same things?” you will wonder. But monkeys are constantly jockeying for position. You may have noticed the narc queen in your circle of friends, family, or at your job. She considers herself the alpha, as do the other female primates. The others suck up to her, kiss her ass, and offer their power to her. Some do her bidding, some pretend to believe everything she tells them. They compliment her and want to get in her good graces. They know she not only has power but she has resources they can use to their advantage.

Then in walks a divine feminine, completely unaware of this primate dynamic (until, that is, she becomes intuitive enough to see it clearly). She sparkles with each step. Her grace and beauty are unmatched. She may not be the most physically beautiful but a natural beauty emanates from her that sets her above the others. She gives and enjoys giving. Sometimes it is a gift to one in need. Sometimes it is a smile and conversation. She is loyal to a fault and overlooks the attention she has drawn. The females take note. She had no idea she was in a competition. It floats over her head, flows off her back; she remains completely unaware that the queen is threatened by her.

The queen starts getting angry and frustrated; her power is being drained by one who can generate her own power. The battle between good and evil begins. The queen and her minions plot against the divine feminine: “We must take her down. We will use any means necessary,” she says. They devise plans to take down this empathic woman, and they are successful. They find a way to steal her internal power source by dimming it once and for all. “She will never shine again,” they say. But little do they know that it brings this woman to tears when she cannot generate her own energy, when she is dependent upon others and depleted. She will never steal the energy source from another but she must learn how to get hers back. So she relearns how to shine. In the process, she becomes the alpha female she always was, apart from the wounding. She becomes her higher self even if the monkey brains don’t like it.

If it sounds like a fairy tale, that’s because it is. Empathic people have always used the arts to communicate this essential truth: divine feminines are broken by the monkey tactics and must learn to rebuild their own energy source (from evil witches, evil queens, and the like). In the process, they ascend. It’s that complicated and that simple. You always were an alpha and that’s why they were threatened by you to begin with. If they used sabotage tactics on you, it’s because they were threatened. When you began asserting your personal power, they saw you were willing to jockey for position. You were ganged up on. The silent bystanders watched in awe as you made that move to claim your seat at the head of the table. They knew it would happen if they did not do something drastic. They hurt you on purpose. They forced you back into the beta position. You would be less threatening to their resources and power that way.

This also has to do with the divine masculine.

In a world of cheap, available sex, men have forgotten what it means to win over a true alpha female. Not a controlling alpha, or an alpha who she herself has not yet earned it (only been given it). I mean an alpha female who has been to hell and back and stepped out still shining. She knows how the system works and she understands how to overcome anything. She’s not easily impressed though people try. “Show me something I myself have not done,” she asks them. They have nothing to offer. So she sits in her quiet tower until someone risks his life proving himself to her. “See how I can climb this castle wall?,” See how I will take a sword for you?,” “See how I will put you first even when it is not convenient for me?” he asks her. In him, she sees the first man she can respect because he has proven she can trust him. He is the only one who is braver than her. (Think of the biological/reproductive importance of this. If he dies, there are more sperm donors but if she dies, there is one less mother to completely care for her children).

Until now, she has never met a man she can respect but he can do things she cannot do herself. She sees him for who he really is and he sees his own reflection in her eyes. For the first time in his life, he sees his real value. The things everyone else told his made him valuable his entire life were things he had to physically possess — tangible, immediate things that had nothing to do with his soul. He finally respects himself. No one else can offer this to this divine couple. And that connection can never be broken.

This is the process the empathic collective has been undergoing for the last few years. For many, it will culminate soon. For others, there is still work to do. Either way, whether you call it stepping into your alpha nature or ascending, it is one and the same.