Things I was told as I left abuse

Victim shaming is a real phenomenon. It is whereby the perpetrator or bystanders to the abuse blame the victim for what has transpired, minimize the severity of the situation, support the perpetrator in order to hurt the victim, find things wrong with the victim in order to turn a blind eye, or shame the victim for how they reacted to the abuse. 

My work is a reflection of what I have been through in my life because I see how much I needed someone to say these things while I was going through the muck of my thyroid disease nearly 10 years ago (when a blocked throat/thyroid chakra finally caught up with me). I have seen in my work with clients over the last seven years that nutrition is one element of a healthy life but getting to the root of stress is another essential component.

I needed someone to say these things 20 or 30 years ago, and I needed someone to say them over the last couple of years. Because I didn’t get that, I pour my words of encouragement and illumination of one’s core wounds and life lessons into my clients. It’s hard to find people who see the truth and will tell you the truth you so desperately want and need to hear. I have made that my life’s work. 

It’s difficult and sometimes nearly impossible to see it when you are in it, but chances are there are some of you dealing with abuse at this very moment. (See this Power and Control Wheel to determine if you have been abused). Or chances are you grew up in abuse but no one called it that because you were middle or upper class, had no family drug history, went to church, got good grades or have a good job, made fun of the family oddities and trauma, and carried on an otherwise normal life. But deep down there was something wrong that you couldn’t — and perhaps still can’t — put your finger on. 

Your physical body will only allow you to go so many years in the facade, sleep-walking state before symptoms start to present themselves. The longer we live in states of denial or cognitive dissonance, the greater a physical reaction our bodies will have to cope with the stress. Eventually disease or illness will ensue. 

You see, abuse is a total ego annihilator — both for you and for others. And few people want their ego annihilated. Which is why victims often have to go at it alone or choose to deny it in the first place. It forces people to see the reality they have been ignoring, or choosing to ignore. It forces the truth to the surface and it forces the subconscious experiences that we have stuffed down and hidden away to come bubbling up. 

Abuse forces the victim to confront the ego of every single person around them and all the cover stories they have been living: “I’m so happy. Everything is great.” Abuse victims live their lives catering to the egos of everyone around them in hopes the abuse will end; in hopes they will no longer be a target. Unfortunately that only prolongs the amount of time you are in the abusive situation because perpetrators rarely change. Sadly, it is up to us to get out. There is likely no one coming to your rescue. We have to put our foot down and say “no more”, “not me”, and “not today”. We have to finally stand our ground. 

Once you do that, life will feel like it is falling apart. People will retract their love and support. Those you thought you could count on are suddenly nowhere to be found. Your job and home may change; your financial security, your routine, your friends, your family. And your perpetrator will have flipped the story line so they are the victims and they deserve the love and goodwill of everyone around them. 

You will be told terrible things and wonder what these people are thinking. “Why won’t they see the reality?’ you will ask yourself. The answer is because it would uproot their entire ego, belief system, and comfort if they were to sympathize with you and understand your situation. It would force ego change and only those on a soul growth journey are willing to annihilate their ego. Most want to forgo this very important life lesson. 

My work as an Intuitive is to prepare you for what may happen once you own up to your life lessons and the reality of what is happening to you. I want you to be prepared so when difficulties arise, you can think back to this information and tell yourself, “This is normal, this is what may happen, I can do this.” Without preparation and confirmation of these things, it will cause greater cognitive dissonance and physical illness. So please be prepared if you choose to say “yes” to your life lessons. It will be the hardest thing you have ever done but staying in a situation that will not get better, or pretending like past situations were healthy will never make you feel whole and you will never find true healing. 

Things I was told as I left abuse and things you will likely hear too:

  1. You should be ashamed of yourself.
  2. It’s always two people’s fault. 
  3. I hope you’re happy with how hard you have made this. 
  4. You destroyed my ego.
  5. Nothing I did was illegal. 
  6. She’s a mess. 
  7. I saw the abuse but it’s not my business, so I won’t get involved. 
  8. I never liked her to begin with. 
  9. I’m sorry you feel that [abuse] happened. 
  10. They’re not my perpetrator. 
  11. Don’t say a word about it. 
  12. Eh, you can deal with it. 
  13. She wants attention for telling her story. 
  14. I’ve definitely put my hands on someone in a relationship — I’m pretty sure that’s normal. 
  15. How many times did it happen?
  16. The perpetrator and their family are so great. 
  17. You shouldn’t have said anything. 
  18. The perpetrator told me you defended yourself/fought back so how can you be a victim?
  19. What you think happened isn’t what really happened. 
  20. You’re too sensitive. 

Remember, no matter what you are going through, you are capable of dealing with it and handling it. If one of your life lessons is to recognize and get out of abuse, or process the abuse you have already endured, it is possible to succeed. Part of healing your thyroid is about sharing your story and that is a power no one can take away from you once you start telling the truth. 

Unfortunately, you will likely have to go at this alone. Ideally you should seek community support and professional help. But remember, others not offering support is not about you and it is not about the veracity of the abuse; it’s about the strong ego holds of those around you. Reality doesn’t change because of denial so don’t internalize the things they say. Please be safe and get out while you still can. 

Ready to reclaim your health and self? Click here to learn more about Nutrition Consultations, Energy Readings, and Body Readings. 

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How to know if your throat chakra has been opened

If you have been diagnosed with a chronic illness, you likely would agree that the mainstream definition of optimal physical health needs a reboot. What your doctor considers “optimal” and what you as a patient consider optimal are likely two vastly different things. 

For a mainstream physician, getting your lab work balanced and finding the correct dose of medication is likely the ultimate goal. Because in the mainstream world, illnesses never heal – they can only be improved (sometimes just slightly) by medication, medical procedure, or surgery. And there is big money in these rules and restrictions. 

Unfortunately, this leaves patients frustrated because they long for the health they had in their younger years — or just a few years prior — but getting a doctor to pursue this with you feels impossible at times: “Yes, you still have symptoms, but your lab work is normal; there’s nothing more I can do for you.”

Likely your ultimate health goal is to no longer need medication or to improve your symptoms to a point where you are not suffering daily under the weight of extreme fatigue, belly fat, rashes or hives, hair loss, indigestion and food sensitivities, depression or anxiety, GI distress, susceptibility to infections, and brain fog. 

The truth is: medication can’t fix a chakra problem. And this is why mainstream medicine has not been able to get to the root of your problems. 

The chakras are the seven energy centers of the body, starting at the base of your pelvis, and working their way up to the top of your head. Though many faith traditions understand the value of the chakras and have slightly different variations. Kabbalistic Judaism, for example, relies on its own interpretation of the chakras, called the Sefirot, and claims there are 10 energy centers on the body. Due to stress and physical health complaints, as well as life lessons gone neglected and unlearned, these areas become blocked or impacted with negative energy. 

Please hear me when I say this: you do not need to believe in Eastern spirituality, Hinduism, or Kabbalah, as your faith practice for the basic tenets of the chakras to work for you. It is easy to let this information go in one ear and out the other because it doesn’t fit into one’s definition of god or religion. But you don’t have to actually adopt the faith for this information to help you. Trust me, I didn’t think I would come to a place in my personal and professional life where I was preaching the word about the power of the chakras because it always felt gimmicky to me. But I have seen this info helps anyone and everyone, no matter your faith. It’s basic science but because there is a metaphysical and emotional component, it has been relegated as fringe. 

These energy centers are nothing more than areas where intense physiological activity takes place, or where we commonly tense to compensate for difficult emotions. That’s it, plain and simple. Where there is activity and intention, there is energy and thus these areas are the most active on your body. They are concentrations of metabolic processes. 

A blocked chakra in the thyroid or throat area, for example, can explain many phenomena that a thyroid disease alone cannot, such as frequent ear, nose and throat infections. Just because you have hypothyroidism doesn’t necessarily mean you should be getting throat infections multiple times per year and yet it is a common symptom. 

There are plenty of ways to work through the tension and stagnant patterns at each energy center (I blog and Facebook live about these things often), including identifying your fascial adhesion and using myofascial release to break this up, identifying your unique life lessons and core wounds, standing up for yourself and against narcissism or abuse, figuring out which diet is ideal for you, getting rid of infections, sharing your story, and more.

But if you have already begun working on your thyroid chakra, here are ways to tell it is opened or in the process of opening: 

  • You have full control over the tone of your voice. You no longer get weird fluctuations, vocal “breaking”, have to strain, have a hard time speaking loudly enough to be heard, and feel no physical pain from speech. 
  • You do not feel throat swelling.
  • You are not prone to throat infections.
  • You can swallow properly without having to “force” it.
  • You can speak without going into a hiding or shame response. 
  • You can freely share your story even if others have punished you for doing so. 
  • You are able to tell the truth even when it is hard and others will not like it. 
  • You allow yourself to feel and verbalize justified anger when there is an injustice.  
  • You have been able to reduce or eliminate your thyroid medication (only do this under your doctor’s supervision). 
  • You are not constantly thirsty. 
  • You do not feel the need to overeat or under-eat.
  • You laugh and cry freely. When you do cry, you no longer get a lump in your throat.
  • You do not feel like you will choke on food. 
  • You do not feel like there is something strangling your neck. 
  • You are no longer a “yes” person, catering to the needs of others in martyrdom of your own. 
  • Your throat doesn’t feel like it’s burning. 
  • You do not have skin “bands” around the neck or thyroid area.
  • You ask for help when you need it. 
  • You don’t cough incessantly.

Like all chakra imbalances, there are plenty of ways to clear a blocked thyroid/throat chakra. It truly depends on the person and situation. Identification of the unhealthy patterns is the first step, then process and working through them, and finally adopt new healthy habits in which you are allowed to be the authentic, powerful being you really are. 

Ready to reclaim your health and self? Click here to learn more about Nutrition Consultations, Energy Readings, and Body Readings. 

 

Liz’s interview with “The Empath Guy” Dave Markowitz

For the last seven years, I have primarily been working with women with thyroid and autoimmune conditions get to the root of their health conditions with tailored, optimized nutrition. 

However, the last couple of years, I began noticing many of my clients were dealing with so much emotional stress and this stress was actually a root cause of their physical problems. In fact, they weren’t just stressed –  they had a certain personality type and had no idea. They weren’t just stressed, depressed, anxious — they were empathic and were being controlled and left powerless in their lives. So I began offering spiritual services to help people overcome these stressors. And it worked.

I’ve become so interested and engrossed in researching this personality type and helping those who are born empathic because I see how healing it is to one’s physical health when a person understands themselves on a deeper level. 

So today I bring to you an interview I recently had with someone who has been on this empathic path for quite some time and who has also noticed how much stress affects people who are highly sensitive.

So let me introduce to you Dave Markowitz. Dave is an empath and intuitive and has been working with highly sensitive souls for many years, helping them achieve better health, vitality, and spiritual awareness.

He is the author of several books, including Healing with Source, Self-care for the self-aware: a guide for highly sensitive people, empaths, intuitives, and healers, and Empathipedia. Dave has lectured with Deepak Chopra and Gary Null and he also gets empaths and their unique struggles.

Tune in here to hear us speak about empaths, absorbing other people’s energy and problems, a victim mentality, the ego, narcissism, health challenges and their root causes, spirituality and more!

Listen here <——-

 

Ready to reclaim your health and self? Click here to learn more about Nutrition Consultations, Energy Readings, and Body Readings.