Empath sabotage type 1: energetic starvation

People who are empathic, aka: highly sensitive and able to pick up on the thoughts, feelings, and subconscious behaviors of others have distinct, complex needs.

These needs are rooted in our desire for oneness and wholeness, rather than division and scarcity. Empaths crave peace, hate conflict (though as I have said before, I do believe we need to rise to the occasion to meet conflicts head on when important), want understanding, support and compassion, and we will seek the world over to find these things — and be sorely disappointed when we don’t. 

Chances are you were not given these things in childhood. As a result, you likely what what is called an “attachment wound” whereby it becomes difficult for you to open up and trust and you vacillate between wanting to be alone so you won’t be hurt or made to feel uncomfortably vulnerable, and co-dependent, thinking you’re inadequate and someone else must save you from the pain.

Because childhood is where such core wounds originate, an unawakened empath can spend their entire life trying to recreate this wound in order to subconsciously heal it. You may choose relationships or work environments in which you are never good enough, constantly “fail”, are reminded how “terrible” you are, and never receive the positive feedback you desire. You may spend decades waiting for that promotion, or years waiting for your partner to finally appreciate you. 

Attachment wounds don’t come from nowhere — they’re created systematically by the way our caregivers treat us as children. From these people, we learn we are either “good” or “bad”, “worthy” or “unworthy”, deserving of love or not. You see, the way these people treated us sets the stage for the way we understand others the rest of our lives and the lengths we will go to get those basic empathic needs for love and peace met.

If you are empathic, there’s a good chance one or both of your parents, caregivers, or close family members were narcissistic. Empaths and narcissist are like yin and yang, oil and water — opposites always attracting each other but never quite meshing, seeking to heal something deep inside. (If we allow it). 

Recreating the wound is a good thing — but only once you recognize it! Until you recognize your subconscious patterns of behavior, you will be a slave to them and wonder why things always feel so hard, why people act shitty, or why another unfavorable situation transpired. Once you recognize them, however, you will be able to learn from them to break the cycles that are keeping you stressed and sick. 

To overcome the core wound, and therefore learn the life lessons you are here to master in order to open up your chakras, you have to identify the problems first and foremost. You have to go as deep into the attachment wound as possible. And I believe the first step is recognizing the tactics that were used against you in childhood (or later in life) that keep you feeling inadequate and craving something outside of yourself. 

There are specific strategies narcissists use against empaths in order to have us groveling for their love and attention. It’s the proverbial dangling of the carrot: “am I good enough now?” “Let me keep trying to be good enough for you so you will love me.” “Which hoops can I jump through to make you happy?” The sad truth is, you will never be good enough for these people because if you were, they would lose their control over you and the whole point of dangling the carrot in the first place is to exercise control. In the long run, this will leave you feeling like you have an inherent flaw and there is nothing you can do to get the love you seek. 

So, number one — identify which tactics were used against you in childhood. The first strategy you likely experienced was something called “energetic starvation“. This is the classic “go to your room and stay there, I don’t want to see you!” Another variation is “the silent treatment”. In classical psychology a similar term is “stonewalling” which is where a loved one rescinds communication or the relationship benefits in order to prove a point or get their way. 

I grew up in Florida where one of the largest southern Amish communities thrives. It was normal to see women in prairie dresses and bonnets bicycling up and down the main streets, while men with beards rode in horse and buggy, all set to a modern backdrop of fast food and gas stations. While the sect down there is much more liberal than some up north, we still heard stories about Amish “shunning” in which community members would completely ignore and reject certain members who somehow wronged the church or committed a sin. Their families would stop speaking to them for weeks, months or years at a time, people would walk by them like they didn’t exist, and they were not welcome at services or family meals. 

Please know, I’m not here to judge anyone’s parenting techniques or religion — this is merely for you to go back through and take an inventory of the ways you were taught being alone was punishment, that you deserved to be alone, that you deserved love to be rescinded, and that you were starved of the attention of your caregivers or community when you didn’t do what someone else wanted. I have seen and experienced shunning by both atheist intellectuals/progressives seeking “world peace” and conservatives promoting “god”. It’s the same no matter who is doing it because energetic starvation is all about control and getting people into groupthink. 

The bottom line is that all people (with the exception of narcissists who feed on pain), especially empaths need and thrive on emotionally reciprocated love as their primary fuel. It’s what gives them the energy to keep going both mentally and physically. Starving them of this leads to utter psychological and physiological chaos. Because empaths operate on the assumption good energy for good energy, starving them of good energy causes existential crisis. It’s like they don’t understand the point of being here if we all can’t just get along. They don’t see how long they can go on a planet where love is a punishment or where they have so much to give but no one will gladly receive it. 

The good news is that real love is unconditional — without any strings attached. It is not dependent upon someone else giving it first, or someone else taking it away. It just is — as a universal law; nothing can alter it. We must remember this in order to break the narcissist spell and stop living the attachment wound. Others may try to control how much good energy you receive but the true source of good energy/love does not originate outside of ourselves. It is intrinsic and we can tap into it at any time, with or without anyone’s approval. We can give it even when it has been withheld, and we can generate it even when we have been told there isn’t enough for us. 

Don’t allow anyone to starve you energetically. Do not buy into the game. You don’t deserve to be punished and you certainly are capable of feeling good energy no matter what anyone else does to you.

Read about Empath sabotage type 2: confusion, here. 

Ready to reclaim your health and self? Click here to learn more about Nutrition Consultations, Energy Readings, and Body Readings. 

How to know if your throat chakra has been opened

If you have been diagnosed with a chronic illness, you likely would agree that the mainstream definition of optimal physical health needs a reboot. What your doctor considers “optimal” and what you as a patient consider optimal are likely two vastly different things. 

For a mainstream physician, getting your lab work balanced and finding the correct dose of medication is likely the ultimate goal. Because in the mainstream world, illnesses never heal – they can only be improved (sometimes just slightly) by medication, medical procedure, or surgery. And there is big money in these rules and restrictions. 

Unfortunately, this leaves patients frustrated because they long for the health they had in their younger years — or just a few years prior — but getting a doctor to pursue this with you feels impossible at times: “Yes, you still have symptoms, but your lab work is normal; there’s nothing more I can do for you.”

Likely your ultimate health goal is to no longer need medication or to improve your symptoms to a point where you are not suffering daily under the weight of extreme fatigue, belly fat, rashes or hives, hair loss, indigestion and food sensitivities, depression or anxiety, GI distress, susceptibility to infections, and brain fog. 

The truth is: medication can’t fix a chakra problem. And this is why mainstream medicine has not been able to get to the root of your problems. 

The chakras are the seven energy centers of the body, starting at the base of your pelvis, and working their way up to the top of your head. Though many faith traditions understand the value of the chakras and have slightly different variations. Kabbalistic Judaism, for example, relies on its own interpretation of the chakras, called the Sefirot, and claims there are 10 energy centers on the body. Due to stress and physical health complaints, as well as life lessons gone neglected and unlearned, these areas become blocked or impacted with negative energy. 

Please hear me when I say this: you do not need to believe in Eastern spirituality, Hinduism, or Kabbalah, as your faith practice for the basic tenets of the chakras to work for you. It is easy to let this information go in one ear and out the other because it doesn’t fit into one’s definition of god or religion. But you don’t have to actually adopt the faith for this information to help you. Trust me, I didn’t think I would come to a place in my personal and professional life where I was preaching the word about the power of the chakras because it always felt gimmicky to me. But I have seen this info helps anyone and everyone, no matter your faith. It’s basic science but because there is a metaphysical and emotional component, it has been relegated as fringe. 

These energy centers are nothing more than areas where intense physiological activity takes place, or where we commonly tense to compensate for difficult emotions. That’s it, plain and simple. Where there is activity and intention, there is energy and thus these areas are the most active on your body. They are concentrations of metabolic processes. 

A blocked chakra in the thyroid or throat area, for example, can explain many phenomena that a thyroid disease alone cannot, such as frequent ear, nose and throat infections. Just because you have hypothyroidism doesn’t necessarily mean you should be getting throat infections multiple times per year and yet it is a common symptom. 

There are plenty of ways to work through the tension and stagnant patterns at each energy center (I blog and Facebook live about these things often), including identifying your fascial adhesion and using myofascial release to break this up, identifying your unique life lessons and core wounds, standing up for yourself and against narcissism or abuse, figuring out which diet is ideal for you, getting rid of infections, sharing your story, and more.

But if you have already begun working on your thyroid chakra, here are ways to tell it is opened or in the process of opening: 

  • You have full control over the tone of your voice. You no longer get weird fluctuations, vocal “breaking”, have to strain, have a hard time speaking loudly enough to be heard, and feel no physical pain from speech. 
  • You do not feel throat swelling.
  • You are not prone to throat infections.
  • You can swallow properly without having to “force” it.
  • You can speak without going into a hiding or shame response. 
  • You can freely share your story even if others have punished you for doing so. 
  • You are able to tell the truth even when it is hard and others will not like it. 
  • You allow yourself to feel and verbalize justified anger when there is an injustice.  
  • You have been able to reduce or eliminate your thyroid medication (only do this under your doctor’s supervision). 
  • You are not constantly thirsty. 
  • You do not feel the need to overeat or under-eat.
  • You laugh and cry freely. When you do cry, you no longer get a lump in your throat.
  • You do not feel like you will choke on food. 
  • You do not feel like there is something strangling your neck. 
  • You are no longer a “yes” person, catering to the needs of others in martyrdom of your own. 
  • Your throat doesn’t feel like it’s burning. 
  • You do not have skin “bands” around the neck or thyroid area.
  • You ask for help when you need it. 
  • You don’t cough incessantly.

Like all chakra imbalances, there are plenty of ways to clear a blocked thyroid/throat chakra. It truly depends on the person and situation. Identification of the unhealthy patterns is the first step, then process and working through them, and finally adopt new healthy habits in which you are allowed to be the authentic, powerful being you really are. 

Ready to reclaim your health and self? Click here to learn more about Nutrition Consultations, Energy Readings, and Body Readings. 

 

Liz’s interview with “The Empath Guy” Dave Markowitz

For the last seven years, I have primarily been working with women with thyroid and autoimmune conditions get to the root of their health conditions with tailored, optimized nutrition. 

However, the last couple of years, I began noticing many of my clients were dealing with so much emotional stress and this stress was actually a root cause of their physical problems. In fact, they weren’t just stressed –  they had a certain personality type and had no idea. They weren’t just stressed, depressed, anxious — they were empathic and were being controlled and left powerless in their lives. So I began offering spiritual services to help people overcome these stressors. And it worked.

I’ve become so interested and engrossed in researching this personality type and helping those who are born empathic because I see how healing it is to one’s physical health when a person understands themselves on a deeper level. 

So today I bring to you an interview I recently had with someone who has been on this empathic path for quite some time and who has also noticed how much stress affects people who are highly sensitive.

So let me introduce to you Dave Markowitz. Dave is an empath and intuitive and has been working with highly sensitive souls for many years, helping them achieve better health, vitality, and spiritual awareness.

He is the author of several books, including Healing with Source, Self-care for the self-aware: a guide for highly sensitive people, empaths, intuitives, and healers, and Empathipedia. Dave has lectured with Deepak Chopra and Gary Null and he also gets empaths and their unique struggles.

Tune in here to hear us speak about empaths, absorbing other people’s energy and problems, a victim mentality, the ego, narcissism, health challenges and their root causes, spirituality and more!

Listen here <——-

 

Ready to reclaim your health and self? Click here to learn more about Nutrition Consultations, Energy Readings, and Body Readings.