It’s no surprise that an empath “shuts down” in the presence of people who abused then. Maybe you get quiet. Maybe you feel anxious. Maybe you avoid them. Maybe you dissasociate and daydream. Or maybe you can’t be present because you have incessant flashbacks of trauma. Raising my hand to all of those.
But if we dig deeper to the energetic level we can also discover metaphysical reasons you shut down in the presence of your perpetrators. See, an empath’s natural frequency is high. It is because love and joy are super high frequencies, buzzing about with giddy expectation in each and every one of your cells.
This is how you want to feel and perhaps do allow yourself to feel when you are all alone. When you’re alone, it is safe. But when an energetic threat encroaches on your personal territory (aka your body and energetic field), you begin dimming it. Gradually at first (as a child or whenever the trauma first began), then altogether flipping the off switch as your response becomes more automatic. Over time, as a trauma survivor, you learn not to turn it on at all.
In other words, you’re used to opening up your energy to receive expected, real, unconditional love back from the vibration of love you are giving to someone. You learn that love feels bad coming from them but you’ve been told it’s normal or you are already programmed to accept this “love.” So you gradually stop sending out the frequency of real love since what you get in return is so painful and cannot match it. You accept the fake love and play along like it is real or normal.
Eventually you stop opening your heart Chakra altogether and assume something is wrong with you for not getting the authentic vibration of love returned to you. In other words, you are subconsciously trying to prevent additional trauma bonding with this person(s). In order to do so, you have to lower your vibration every time you are around them. So you end up tired, drained, depressed or listless as a result of protecting yourself by putting yourself into a “sleep” state (think of a computer). You have learned to prevent this other person from feeling your genuinely high vibe because it either is rejected or because whatever they reciprocate with feels really bad, or because you end up feeling used which makes you feel powerless (again, think of the computer).
Now imagine, if you’re one of the “super empaths” as I call them, who is 100% energetically and emotionally sensitive and very in touch with their mind-body connection as well as their subconscious mind and that of others, how often you will be lowering your vibration to protect yourself on a daily basis. Probably most of the time. And you probably won’t like that version of yourself at all. She will probably leave you very disappointed in yourself because you know how much potential and how many gifts you have to share with the world which you can’t realize if you’re in self-protection mode all of the time. When you feel this way, you have to remember that it’s not your fault. If you’re a trauma survivor, it’s a normal and expected response.
But also, keep in mind that there legitimately is no way to stop being assaulted by other people’s egos or energy draining ways. There is no way to stop abuse in order to protect yourself. Being a good person won’t do it. Being nicer won’t help. Projecting love and light certainly won’t help — it will only attract more external egos seeking a fight against the truth about themselves they see in your eyes.
This leaves you in a real predicament because you want to blind people with the light within yourself that you share when it is safe. It feels good to you. But realistically you can’t safely shine this without it attracting non-stop lower vibrations who expect you to give up your energy or transmute theirs for them.
I don’t yet have a great answer here. But I do remember this and an trying to learn it myself:
“Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.”
As a human collective, we’re about to hit a turning point. On a planet that denies the existence of absolute universal truth, you’ll begin to see an even greater division between those who choose one ego manifestation over another. In other words, because we are living in a time in which the truth is being forced out of the shadows, people believe that by choosing sides they can perceive the truth. But they are wrong.
Growing up on a polarizing planet, one is taught to form an opinion based on faulty reasoning and that their opinion is correct above all. They’re taught to defend this opinion at all costs, even if their opinion is deluded by their own ego that has never been examined and dismantled. So people choose opinions to believe that do not disrupt their well-constructed shield, aka the ego. In fact, the opinion adds to the ego role because it generates a false identity for you to define yourself.
As a political analogy, in the senate and White House, we see democrats believing they are correct and blameless. We also see Republicans believing they blameless and correct. We are told to choose a side. We are told our counterparts are wrong and that we should mock their beliefs since ours are so superior. You see their ego flaws and they see yours. Families clash, friends stop speaking, and we believe ourselves to be superior based on belief, all the while subconsciously ignoring red flags because they are not convenient. It is what the ego forces one to do. It is what talks us out of the truth.
Unless you are brave enough to admit you are fully open to the possibility that both could be wrong and are not perfect in action or intention, you’ll be blinded by the ego side that feels most comfortable to you, and you will completely over look the truth. The truth exists beyond the side that feels comfortable or beyond the side of wounding that caused us to identify with its people it in the first place.
What we will shortly begin seeing is an even greater warfare between the sides who choose ego “truth” as their only option. They are not just defending a belief. They are defending their own ego persona, which prevents them from having to face their own wounds in order to perceive the truth. These two sides will never stop fighting and it will only intensify because they are trying to find truth through a narrow lens where there is none to be found.
You will be given a peace that yes, you have risen above this, finally. You will be assured that yes, you are ascending and this isn’t make believe. You will find yourself removed from what the rest of society considers normal. You will see how insane it always has been. You will likely also see beyond the third dimension into the realm of spirit by way of the people who you pass on the street, in stores, and even in your family. You will look into their eyes and see their soul infected with the ego virus, fueled by intense devotion to their flawed beliefs and pain, and nothing you do or say will remind them that there is a truth beyond what they have chosen. You will know it is ultimate truth because you are no longer overlooking the red flags and holes or cover ups in the story. And also because it came to you, not the other way around. You will feel like a stranger in a strange land, no longer identifying with any side and wonder when and if you will ever find others who feels the same.
Ascension is not about being right. The ego is the one who must be right at all times. Ascension is about understanding there is a truth beyond human truth and while we may not have all the answers, we know who does and patiently wait for them to be given to us.
If you are on the ascension journey, there is no mistaking it. You have doubted and questioned it for so long. You are finally at a point where you can rest assured that yes, it is real. And yes, you have been born and reincarnated onto a planet of insanity and institutional brainwashing. That yes, there are few who also perceive this. Believe the truth that is given to you; the uncomfortable truth that exists beyond the side the ego wants you to choose. You have killed the ego virus in yourself. Your soul will soon escape this sick reality. This is your third eye Chakra power that you have reclaimed in the ascension process.
“… and his name will be on their foreheads.”
“…and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left… But understand this: if the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him… Who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom the master has put in charge of the servants in his household to give them their food at the proper time? It will be good for that servant whose master finds him doing so when he returns. Truly I tell you, he will put him in charge of all his possessions. But suppose that servant is wicked and says to himself, ‘My master is staying away a long time,’ and he then begins to beat his fellow servants and to eat and drink with drunkards. The master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he is not aware of… At that time the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any oil with them. The wise ones, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps. The bridegroom was a long time in coming, and they all became drowsy and fell asleep. At midnight the cry rang out: ‘Here’s the bridegroom! Come out to meet him!’ Then all the virgins woke up and trimmed their lamps. The foolish ones said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil; our lamps are going out.”No,’ they replied, ‘there may not be enough for both us and you. Instead, go to those who sell oil and buy some for yourselves.’ But while they were on their way to buy the oil, the bridegroom arrived. The virgins who were ready went in with him to the wedding banquet. And the door was shut.”
Imagine walking through life seeing through each person you encounter and into their soul. Imagine seeing their wounding, scars, and phobias every time you look into a person’s eyes. Imagine the pain you feel. Imagine what that pain does to your body. Imagine the fear you would feel each time their ego bullies you into corners in an attempt to gloss over their own pain. They don’t want you to see it and you have to pretend you don’t. Imagine the energy demand on your brain and body. Imagine feeling the weight of the responsibility to process, hide, secret away, or transmute what everyone around you has kept hidden for so long. Imagine having no one to talk to about this responsibility. Imagine not knowing it’s happening in the first place.
If you want to understand your own empathic nature, you must understand the subconscious factors keeping you sick and stressed. You must understand the reality of what you’re witnessing, despite it being pushed into subconscious corners by everyone around you. And you also must understand the absolute depth of what you are being asked to suppress — and why.
I like to think of life for an empath as a house of mirrors. You’re nervous and standing in the middle of a room. You hear noises echoing. The room is full of distorted mirrors and a maze that you can’t seem to find your way out of. Each time you look into another mirror, you see some horrifying distorted face. You aren’t sure why the faces seem angry, frustrated, in pain, sad, or scared. You keep trying figure it out but learn to blame yourself because you must have caused their reaction. Eventually you learn not to look anymore. Eventually you become so traumatized you avoid the mirrors altogether.
Now instead of mirrors, imagine these are the faces of everyone around you. You are picking up so much metaphysical information on everyone you encounter that you become wounded yourself. You learn that you are the problem. How else would you see so much emotion every time you look? On top of that, you have been bullied or coerced into ignoring the information you pick up on so that those with inflated egos do not have to confront their own pain. You are held responsible if you happen to allow them to see their own pain. You are the one who is punished despite carrying their pain for them.
Life does not have to be this painful forever. Awareness of these things is the first step. Accepting that you have experienced these things is second. No longer being fearful of them is the third. No longer accepting responsibility for what is not yours is the second-to-last step. Healing from all of this and becoming a powerful being in your own right is the final step towards becoming an awakened empath, rather than a traumatized one.