Though there had been many men like him before, in one generation came a man who had more karma than anyone else before. The man was a beast who possessed no empathy for anyone. This led him to lie, cheat, and steal his way to the top. He even hurt his own family because he did not actually care about them. He took and never gave in return. He cared for no one but himself.
He never did a righteous thing in his life. He never felt love, happiness, joy, or understanding. He thought people who felt these things were fools and he enjoyed proving it to them.
Those who wanted a piece of his clout laughed off his sins. They thought it was funny, endearing, and “just who he was.” Others let him get away with the lies because he said he had a lot of money and power to hurt them.
One day this man was elevated to a very high position. He was in charge of many many people. His win was a false win that he earned through loopholes and putting others at a disadvantage so he could get ahead.
This man was not a real leader. With each decision he made, the people grew weaker and weaker, more and more terrified of the beast’s inability to tell the truth. But he was so convincing, it seemed as if he never did not know what to say to reassure them they would be fine under his direction.
They thought to themselves, “We were told to trust him because he has a lot of money, but he does not know how to lead.” Some began to question the ladder of success that they had put their faith in. “He snuck his way to the top, while I worked hard and legally within the system. This is unfair.” They began to realize he had never confronted a hardship because he always made someone else do it for him. He had never learned one lesson. He had such a great amount of karma it was unreal.
People began watching this man’s karma play out right before their eyes. It seemed like no one could, with certainty, say where this man was going because his direction navigating his karma changed so frequently. He went into battle with as many people as he could because that is all he had ever done. A war of deflection was all he knew.
Every unpaid debt suddenly began manifesting. The people could see his eyes wander into memories of the past he was trying to avoid when he spoke. Often he could not even complete a full thought because his mind was so preoccupied with maintaining the lie.
The subconscious memories, the past life remnants, the hidden energy that the soul remembers… it all started coming up at once because it could no longer be deferred or hidden. It was time for everyone to pay up, including him. And his debts were very great because he had never paid fairly.
The people felt it was all too surreal. “What are we watching happen?” they wondered. They questioned themselves and their sanity. They came up with new ways to survive.
They were watching the man with the most karma in the world try to defer his payment once more.
Love is two souls meeting at a middle meeting point vibration that is good for both people. It is possible to do but it is hard work in this dimension because you must overcome yourself and the pain that was inflicted on you unfairly in order to maintain divine love. It is natural to your soul but it is foreign to your conscious mind. A burned book (aka frequency), if you will.
Conversely, heartbreak is when one person waits in the middle and no one shows on the other end. At least not in the way they could have, should have, promised, or were expected to. Heartbreak is you stepping out in faith or trust and the other party unable to release their personal motivations and see how to value you and protect you because you value and protect them, and back and forth. Because of this, heartbreak happens in circumstances not always related to romance (though it happens there too we all know).
The heartbreak chips away at the expectant and naive child inside (aka soul who doesn’t consciously remember pain). It reinforces negative memories where you learn that being hopeful and trusting only gets you hurt in the end. People remind you that you shouldn’t have been so silly as to trust. So you become less hopeful and trusting (aka: loving). The soul learns any association with love is a bad thing and it will protect itself from this love thing.
Often, this soul is left with a burden to carry on its own. And this is what breaks a person. We are in the midst of a heart chakra pandemic. Lung problems are but the most superficial indication of grief that has not been processed. Heart break will hurt a physical heart in other terrible ways as well. You can guess what those are. It feels like someone is sitting on your chest. It feels like every breath in hurts. It feels like your heart center electrical system might malfunction for good. It feels like fear of the other side or the process of getting there.
You will know you have carried pain from a situation that should have or could have been remedied by two or more people coming together to resolve something. If you as the empathic person were the only one to try to resolve things, which landed you in trouble (tale as old as time), you carry the burden of this heartbreak all by yourself. The other party will not let any of the pain in, to take some of the burden off of you. It breaks your heart that you are not “good” enough for them to carry some of this load. Your chest will be in pain. You will feel a bowling ball in your heart center or your middle back. You will wonder how you can move this all alone.
Now imagine you are one of the empathic people who has been thrown into karmic situation after karmic situation these last 1-10 years. Imagine you met nothing but karmic partners who would not stop harming you. Would you still be able to forgive if the list of people you must forgive was lengthy? It is a major challenge to do it alone.
It is why Christ reminded those he healed that it was by their faith that they were miraculously healed. He could not heal someone without their help: his energy meeting theirs because they trusted enough to vibrationally match his energy and create a more powerful and high vibration. That kind of energy meeting is transformational. Healing is a process of mutual effort and mutual benefit. Right now, especially if you are energetically sensitive, your heart may be in real pain. As with any health complaint, if you get this problem looked over by your doctor but it cannot be explained, you must dive into the subconscious energy associated with the feeling of pain.
Releasing all of this pain either requires everyone involved to admit the pain to each other and apologize and change by allowing their empathy to guide them, or it requires one person to completely overcome themselves. The latter feels unfair because it is such a challenge. You would have to make peace with everything that was done to you, never hold a grudge against someone ever again, forgive, and yet still remain open to love energetically. I have certainly not mastered this yet. It does feel impossible. But when all other avenues to heal something give you detours and country roads to nowhere, you must own up to the responsibility that no one else will ever help you and you must do it yourself, once again.
When I realized I was being abused (thanks to some divine help — that’s how amnesic I was), I took careful note of every tactic that was used against me. At the time it felt like 99% of the tactics that could be used were used and it was a crippling experience. I thought someone was abused, they somehow left it, then they were fine — problem solved! Yeah, I was wrong about that. Once your perpetrators have their eyes on you for wanting to escape, they’re not done with you until you are dead — literally or metaphorically. Either way, you will be in dire straights socially, financially, with family relationships, with the court, and with any other higher powers that be. If you leave, you have to get their final payback: all of your karma thrown at you at once until you stop this “I desire freedom and I don’t deserve pain” nonsense.
But what if you never stop?
Would you resolve all of your karma?
You will encounter person after person after person who you must dodge, confront, or also escape in order to be free. They will feel so familiar to you because yes, you have known them before, and something went wrong between the two of you in past lives which you then must figure out and resolve to gain more and more freedom from that which enslaves you.
But do you think these people will magically cooperate with you? (In all fairness, I did.) Do you think they will all do the right thing in the face of a past poor choice? Hell no. But what took me by surprise the most and what perplexed me is their denial of the karmic/abusive event ever taking place.
Let me put it this way: for years I had a frenemy that I never felt comfortable around, though I never tried to explain why. We had a lot in common, shared a lot of the same ideals, and I tried my best to calm down in her presence and have a nice conversation. I had never experienced anxiety so high around one particular person. One day I realized I was terrified of her judgment. Every time I tried to insert my opinion on a topic, she corrected me and told me why I was wrong. I assumed I was wrong and believed what she told me. She was a few years older and more experienced, after all and she seemed to have created a life of freedom for herself. It looked nice, minus any red flags. Later, after I left abuse and many of these frenemies sided with my abuser, I found out this woman had helped head a smear campaign against me. Because she always seemed so logical and trustworthy, people trusted her judgment about what was happening in my life so it spread like wildfire. She was not only my “judge” in this lifetime but she had been a judge in a previous lifetime where she actually sat on the court and punished me to death for a crime that I did not commit. She did it in a previous lifetime and she did it in this lifetime. Different circumstances, same roles. Do you see how this stuff works?
She would give me dirty looks, gossip to her friends about me, reveal all the secrets she had collected about me over the years, remind people why I was terrible, and assume the worst about my character. My abuser would post photos of me online and mock me. She would like and comment on the photos, really getting a kick out of it. It was only after she realized I had been abused that she stopped being cruel to me. She had been making fun of me while I fled my home with little more in my car than my clothes and important vital documents and family memorabilia that I wouldn’t be able to replace. Even still, she didn’t trust me or my perceptions. She offered herself as a friendly ear but I could never reveal everything to her. It didn’t feel safe.
One day this woman texted me and offered me a kind gesture. I had never confronted her for spreading rumors about me — or why she didn’t reach out to talk to me instead of believing my abuser. I was still terrified of her, though I tried to be kind and gracious to her while pretending she hadn’t done what she had done. It was too awkward plus I still didn’t fully trust my perception. First, how could someone do that and secondly, it if happened why won’t anyone admit it? I was at a new point in my life, though, and I was sick of people pretending with me because it was one big energetic lie… like a bubble you couldn’t pop. It makes it hard to breathe. So I decided I would tell her how I really felt about the last few years and what she had participated in. I told her I couldn’t pretend anymore. She told me she didn’t know what I was talking about. She never asked what I was talking about or why I would feel that way because she already knew.
Pretending is a tool that all abusers use. Whether that person harms you physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, does not matter specifically. What matters is that someone believes you to be under their control enough so that they will tell you to your face that nothing happened when it did in fact happen. You will question your own beliefs and your own sanity. And that is the intention. If I hadn’t had other people secretly coming to me to tell me that the same people who they saw abuse me also abused them, I would have never been able to admit to the truth because of how many times I was told something that happened never happened. People whose perception I trusted because they had high degrees of empathy came to me telling me the same story that I knew was being hidden. I had to trust it.
Pretending induces the worst form of amnesia because a victim literally believes they are mentally insane for having witnessed something that “didn’t happen” which forces them to be ashamed of their perception so deeply and never admit to the abuse. The next time the perpetrator does something even more despicable or egregious, you won’t even realize how much worse it is. You don’t trust what you are seeing with your own eyes.