How to uncover your soul’s blueprint

abuse, energy, holistic, intuition, karma, mind-body, past lives, stress

I tell this to every single one of my clients: anything you are in pain about is something you are being asked to change, work through, get out of, get rid of, or resolve. Pain is the signal for our greater good, our health, our intuition, and our purpose here. Many people view physical and emotional pain as something utterly unavoidable — a necessary evil to accept while we are alive on this planet. My own personal experiences, and those of my clients over the last 8 years tell me differently, though: there is always a solution to overcome the pain — always — but only if we actually are brave and insightful enough to admit to the pain and work to change it.

How many times have we been in a difficult or devastating situation, only to tell our closest friends and family to garner support, and be told “it’s not that bad”, “some people have it worse”, “I have problems too, you know”, “you should be thankful”, “just get over it”. If you have been through painful experiences, or if you suffer from health complications, you can’t just “get over it” or ignore the pain because it will keep persisting and make you miserable. But this reality doesn’t stop others from trying to talk us out of it, or from talking ourselves out of the pain: “I should just move on”, “I feel guilty for feeling bad about this”, “It’s just genetic, there is nothing I can do to improve it”. After hearing these things for years or decades, we can begin to believe it ourselves: “Maybe they’re right; maybe I should stop trying to change it.” And that is how the signal towards becoming healthy and intuitive gets weaker and weaker. We doubt ourselves and our truth and stop trying to make things better. 

We must learn to honor the pain. This doesn’t mean we have to dwell on it forever. You deserve a healing process in which you own the pain and begin processing it. You can no longer deny how much pain you are in, where you are in pain, how long you have been in pain, or when the pain began. It means you must recognize these things honestly and then, begin reversing it. This can include literal physical pain such as headaches, joint pain, back problems, digestive troubles, hormonal imbalances, and so on, or an emotional pain such as anger, frustration, shame, and guilt. The goal is to trace the pain back to where it first began and restructure it. And sometimes the pain goes back to far that you will find it didn’t originate in this life.

Sure, maybe the physical pain stems from a car accident or other injury you vividly remember. In this case, begin forgiving the situation and all parties involved — including yourself. Work at this until there is no longer an emotional charge. You would also want to start pursuing alternative therapies that can help relieve the actual physical pain. If the pain is purely emotional, trace it back to the time it first began (for example, the way your mother treated you as a child).

But what if you can’t trace it back to any of your experiences in this lifetime? What if the pain you are in makes absolutely no sense based on your life experiences? What if the pain connects to something beyond this existence? What if there really is life or energy after death and what if we keep coming back to learn the lessons we put off previously — in order to finally stop the pain, yet no one told you to do this? What if some people are able to read your past incarnations to help you find ultimate healing? What if you can truly connect the dots of your soul, not just your life? This is the unraveling I have witnessed but kept silent about until now. 

I have held off on the topic of past lives because I see how it incites or excludes people. People want proof, not causal association and intuitive insight. You can’t believe in both science and “unproven” spirituality, can you? Aren’t they at oppositional odds? If you posses beliefs science cannot yet prove, aren’t you mentally insane? I do not believe so. I see that there is plenty of room for both and the time we are coming into requires a balancing of the masculine (solid proof) and feminine (intuitive insights). They can work together to better humanity, not divide it. I don’t have all the answers, but I have enough and I have seen people heal in ways they previously could not once they acknowledge these things. 

I see that many prefer the ritualistic comfort of religious dogma or popular science over queries and open-ended questions. It is hard to admit we don’t have all the answers, but only bits, pieces, and questions. It is hard to only have a few pieces of what is real, while waiting for the rest of the story to present itself. Although the idea of past lives is rather ancient, in order to entertain the idea of reincarnation, you must have an open mind and sometimes, because of our modern climate, those are hard to come by.

In sharing this information, I know full well what I risk and I have tried to suppress this so I do not offend or alienate anyone and so that the healing work I have done over the last eight years (including helping people with serious illnesses go into remission with natural tools) will not be maligned or in vain. When people don’t understand your message, they defame you, and I know this intimately (remember the three stages truth has to go through before it is accepted as fact). In the past it broke me because it prevented me from helping more people (the ultimate blow to a healer). However, I see how many people could be helped with these truths and suppressing this information will only prevent healing, no matter what is done to me or said about me. I believe information should be shared freely because without it, we don’t learn and grow and become better. What good is it for me to protect myself against the reactionary cognitive dissonance of the group if this information can help the few?

Please know, I never want to tell you what to believe — only to provide inspiration to consider for yourself. You are your own guru, now and always. And so, by taking a stand and saying past lives are real, I am choosing a side which will make some people feel “wrong” or uncomfortable. It will clash with existing belief systems, and it will generate cognitive dissonance that could offend. I feel I have to tell these stories anyway because I have seen it is real firsthand and because I have had supernatural experiences that confirm it as a result. You can take it seriously and understand I am telling the truth, perhaps at my own detriment, or you can believe this to be made-up “woo”. The choice is yours. If it offends you, it is okay to leave, unfollow, unsubscribe. If it interests you, stay tuned for much more fascinating information. I didn’t ever consider this could be true, or want it to be. But I got pushed down the rabbit hole without my permission and I have come back up for air, ready to tell the stories. I consider this information sacred and holy and I am stepping out in a huge leap of faith sharing it with you. Please be gentle. 

In order to understand your soul’s blueprint and therefore karma, identify overarching themes that keep presenting themselves in this lifetime. Themes, patterns, and oddities help us see the soul’s blueprint even when our vision is clouded by the present circumstances.

Let me give you a lengthy example. 

I have a degree in Education and so, years ago, I cared for a disabled man as a day job. Alexander (name changed, of course) was a 20-something who had been born with a congenital condition that left him without hands and feet but able to move himself about in an electric wheelchair with the ⅔ of upper arm he did have. I worked with him intensively all day, and some overnights, for months, attending to his every need — both physically and emotionally. He needed help going to the bathroom, getting dressed, eating, but he also needed someone to talk to. I felt our souls were meant to meet in this life because he needed serious help overcoming his karma, as did I. As I became closer with Alexander and his family, themes started presenting themselves and I saw this wasn’t just about acting as a caregiver and getting paid. It was about helping Alexander to become independent, make decisions for himself, and stand up to the family members who were abusing him and keeping him small, just because he had a disability and because they viewed him as an imbecile. In fact, we had all known each other before and while the roles were slightly different in this go round, we all needed to learn to break the pain cycles.

Alexander’s family had never allowed him to individuate/self-actualize (that is, become his true self), and used him as a wedge between two very unhappily married parents, a distraction and scapegoat if you will, from larger family dynamics no one wanted to talk about. They treated Alexander like an inconvenience and a puppy dog. They said come and he came. They said eat and he ate. If he didn’t, he was yelled and screamed at and called stupid. He already felt inadequate and dumb because of the birth defects so the family triggered this core wound any time he didn’t blindly obey. Every day like clockwork, I watched as his mother gave directives and he followed. Alexander had full mental capacity, albeit short term memory problems and OCD, but I knew he was capable of making adult decisions — he had simply never been allowed to though he desperately wanted to and thus turned to me for “spiritual advice” as he called it. (I didn’t tell him I was an intuitive until my last day there).


A card Alexander had his mother write to me. I kept it because it means a lot that he recognized what I was doing even though I didn’t tell him the details. 

I could see how his disability in this lifetime had helped create the family dynamic in which the parents avoided each other through control of Alexander. After all, he was wheelchair bound for life and could meet very few of his own needs so his parents would be “on call” forever — frustrating and taxing for any person. However, I could also see that this family had brought their karmic lessons into this lifetime and because of the immense pain involved, were very opposed to working through them. By allowing Alexander freedom to control his own life, his parents would become aware of the reality of their marriage and be forced to see their unhappy relationship for what it really was. His mother would discover how lonely she was (though she readily admitted this to me in conversations anyway), and his father would have to relinquish the stoic facade and get in touch with his real emotions. They would also have to admit to the unhealthy pattern in which they treated Alexander like he was a a piece of glass that could shatter or die at any given minute. Because of these things, Alexander would face serious punishment if he chose to act on his own accord.

I gently gave Alexander advice, asked him questions to lead him to his higher truths, engaged him in new activities he enjoyed, took him on social outings to meet people, brought him to restaurants to try new foods, read him books he actually found an interest in, encouraged him to practice public speaking (because I knew he had an amazing and inspiring story to tell) and made suggestions to his parents about things I thought would benefit him. Because I did this gradually and gently and because I made sure everything was in line with their Catholic faith, I partly succeeded, though I walked a fine line and constantly downplayed how much I was helping Alexander develop as a person. His parents had huge energetic boundaries up regarding anything new, non-traditional, or based on self-help principles. The Catholic church was the be-all-end-all in life. 

Their house was more like a castle and monastery, covered in elegant stained glass, heavy and ominous doors, stone walls and arches, with a huge gate and courtyard, decorated in hundreds of images of angels and crosses, complete with a chapel upstairs. Purple and royal blue were favorite colors for everything. Wine bottles and grape decorations draped the windows. Despite the Tuscan castle-meets-church theme, the home had odd additions of Native American bowls, dream catchers, vases, and paintings.  1600s Italy and 1700/1800s pueblo Americana — an odd combination to say the least. It’s not that it didn’t look nice, it’s that these two very distinct and seemingly unrelated styles stood out and didn’t make sense together. Did they know why they had decorated their home like this or identified with those time periods?

Though the family was Caucasian in this lifetime, Alexander’s grandmother consistently sent him little tchotchkes and tokens that were Native American themed. And the family was obsessed with the military and showing respect and reverence for the government and Catholic church. The father had even gone to seminary to become a priest before instead deciding to marry and become a craftsman in traditional Italian arts. In Alexander’s bedroom were pictures of popes and saints. 

One day, things came to a head. The day prior, caseworkers from the agency Alexander received disability benefits came visit to instate services for the new quarter. His mother asked me to sit with them and feed him while they all spoke. One caseworker offered a series of music or art classes that were proven to be therapeutic and said Alexander had the option to participate in these should he be interested. His mother said nothing (and despite being a capable adult, Alexander always deferred to his mother so he remained silent) and the caseworkers continued on. I was very surprised that Alexander nor his mother had seemed interested in such (free) services because I had intuited in my work with him that he was very bored and lonely: “I gotta get out of this house; I gotta stop driving in circles; let’s go find people to talk to” he would tell everyone. I thought engaging him in new activities with new people — especially something that would act as therapy to help him process his pent-up emotions — was an idea we would all deem valuable.

The next day when we were alone, I asked Alexander if he would be interested in those services and he emphatically said yes. I told him we should call the caseworker to get information that we could then present to his mom so she could make the decision (because no decisions were made without her knowledge and approval). After he and I called the agency to get information, Alexander began having a full-blown panic attack. He started hyperventilating and reciting The Lord’s Prayer over and over again for 45 minutes. Nothing I said would talk him down. He realized he was terrified of what his mother would say once we told her we called and gotten information “behind her back”. He was petrified of having made a decision for himself. And he was right to react in such a way because she did get upset. I tried to remain calm and composed, and I did, while we all went deep into our core wounds and life lessons. I knew encouraging him to make a decision for himself was good for him, and I felt we did this in a small and appropriate way, but it didn’t stop them both from totally losing it because they were facing age old soul patterns that had never been broken. She controlled and he was to obey, and I was to remain quiet. 

I also intuited that Alexander’s congenital birth defects, while having a legitimate origin in this lifetime (his mother once told me she believed it was from exposure to certain chemicals while she was pregnant and in the military) did follow them from a past life. Understanding your soul’s blueprint across all of your lifetimes is sometimes very obvious based on what you like, what you wear, the colors you are drawn to, how you decorate your home, your interests and talents, your job, your health problems, and your fears. It’s simply a long trail backwards of cause and effect. Your health now is no mistake. What led up to it is what we need to uncover in order to allow you to heal. 

Their patterns of behavior and interests had given me intuitive insights that they were a royal Italian military family in one lifetime, as well as a Native American family in another. In the Italian lifetime, I had been a servant in their home. In the Native American lifetime, I had been part of a neighboring tribe. In one more recent lifetime, I believe Alexander and I had been slaves in Louisiana together and I planted seeds of freedom in his mind, while his mother in this lifetime was a male slave owner from that lifetime working to keep him imprisoned. The pattern kept presenting itself, only in different scenarios. In each lifetime, there was war-like tension and in the Italian and Native American lifetimes, Alexander had lost his limbs in battle because he was headstrong and did not heed his parents warnings. He had trusted his own timing and died. In this lifetime, his parents did not trust him and treated him like a china doll that could easily break. The karmic cycle followed them physically and emotionally. He needed freedom and trust but was not able to get it because of their subconscious memories. 

In this case, they were not able to flip the karma in order to resolve the wound and complete the lesson. After the blow-up, Alexander apologized, downplayed his needs (“Sorry mom, I’m just tired. I don’t know what I was thinking”), and his mom shamed and chastised him for even trying to get into art/music therapy. While the subconscious fears of Alexander not knowing what was best for himself and the possibility of him being maimed or dying had legitimate past life ties, they couldn’t see that in the present lifetime, his chances of dying or being wounded were very slim because he was constantly being taken care of by a team of trained professionals. They couldn’t see that him taking ownership over his life and working through his problems was a positive thing — they would have less work to do and he would finally be happy! In this lifetime, he had been born without limbs so there was no chance of losing them.

Personally, I knew this was the final straw for me in the situation because no amount of karmic work I did with this family would get better after this huge blow up. I had tried so many times before and they resisted or only partially gave in. I felt I was living a lie and under constant stress in fear of losing my job simply for aiding Alexander in his personal development. That day, they continued to resist and actually got angry with me for making a suggestion. Sometimes people are incapable of learning the lessons because the pain is too great. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t “flip the script” as I say, but it does mean we need to respect their soul’s boundaries (except when you are being abused). I could have remained silent and bowed to their egos but I chose to act and speak, which was part of my fifth chakra lesson. After this, I trusted my intuition that my time with them was done. I had fulfilled my karmic duty, now it was up to them to admit to the pain and change it. But unlike previous lifetimes where I left in anger, frustration, or in secret, I learned how to become friends with these people and show them love in spite of their pain and in spite of my own.

To uncover your soul’s blueprint, identify:

  • Colors you like and the meaning behind them
  • Patterns you like and where the originate
  • The way you dress (aversions or preferences)
  • The way people instinctively treat you
  • The way you decorate your home and the places or time periods associated
  • Your profession
  • Your hobbies and interests (sports, books, games, television genres, outdoor activities, creative arts, volunteering)
  • Countries and cities you feel drawn to
  • Music you enjoy
  • Things that irritate you
  • History you enjoy reading about
  • Your health problems and their subconscious meanings
  • Relationship tensions
  • Energetic boundaries within yourself and those around you
  • Circumstantial patterns that keep presenting themselves to you
  • Roles you seem to fall into (ex: the motherly type, the leader, the follower, etc)

Who you are is already right in front of you. Deconstruct yourself and it all becomes more clear. Connect the dots back to the time the pain first began. You may be surprised what comes up. 

Ready to reclaim your health and self? Click here to learn more about Nutrition Consultations, Energy Readings, and Body Readings. 


The “Eve” wound is resurfacing – is it affecting you?

abuse, article, empath, energy, intuition, mind-body, narcissism, relationships, stress

Eve is the prototypical empath/intuitive in the Judeo-Christian religious texts and we can learn much from her experience. The Temptation of Eve, as told in Genesis, sets the tone for all intuitives and is embedded into the subconsciousness (or, collective unconscious – take your pick) of many. While some consider it fact, others allegory, and still others the product of imagination, I believe, like all religious texts or mythological stories, we can learn from it much about how to navigate the current state of affairs and why we feel, think, or act the way that we do. This is one interpretation, but know there are many. 

The story begins with God outlining firm commandments for man and woman in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve obey what God has told them, including which trees to eat from — all but one in the middle of the garden. Then a serpent comes to Eve in Genesis 3:4-5 and encourages her to eat from the forbidden tree: “You will not surely die. For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” The serpent encourages Eve to think for herself and plants seeds of doubt in her mind: Why wouldn’t God allow you to eat from the tree of good and evil? Why wouldn’t God allow you to see the truth? Why would a loving god keep you blind?

Eve begins to question this herself. Why wouldn’t an all-knowing and all-loving god allow his creation to see things clearly for what they really are? Why isn’t Eve allowed to fully access her own decision making skills? Why can’t Eve be powerful? In Genesis 3:6 we see Eve’s thought process: “So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate.” Eve took a hint, questioned the higher authority and made a decision for herself because she wanted to see the truth. She wanted to learn cause and effect, she wanted to see things from a different perspective. She wanted to be free to fully embrace the experience — without rules. 

Eve also gave fruit from the tree to her husband, Adam, and then he blames her for their error. It’s interesting that only Eve is required to engage in critical thinking skills, not Adam. (Remember my last blog where I spoke about the “Mother” archetypes putting up with bad behavior from the “Youth” archetypes because we’re scared to force them to grow up?). Eve knows she broke a law but if the law is unjust should one follow it? And should she be punished for allowing others to question the unjust laws? Adam surely could have said, “No, I don’t wish to break this commandment with you.” Rather, Adam blindly follows and is made out to be a bit of a dunce while Eve is painted as a premeditated temptress who should have known better. The man blames the woman’s personal decision making power (aka: intuition) and the woman blames the serpent for her desire to experience her intuition. It was truly a case of “I don’t know why I trusted my gut. I feel so ashamed for not obeying. My intuition made me do it”. 

As a result of Eve’s choice to discover, explore, and learn, she is punished — quite severely with no chance of forgiveness. Genesis 3:13-19 goes on to say,

“And the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”
The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
So the Lord God said to the serpent:
“Because you have done this,
You are cursed more than all cattle,
And more than every beast of the field;
On your belly you shall go,
And you shall eat dust
All the days of your life.
And I will put enmity
Between you and the woman,
And between your seed and her Seed;
He shall bruise your head,
And you shall bruise His heel.”
To the woman He said:
“I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception;
In pain you shall bring forth children;
Your desire shall be for your husband,
And he shall rule over you.”

“Then to Adam He said, “Because you have heeded the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree of which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat of it’:
“Cursed is the ground for your sake;
In toil you shall eat of it
All the days of your life.
Both thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you,
And you shall eat the herb of the field.
In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread
Till you return to the ground,
For out of it you were taken;
For dust you are,
And to dust you shall return.”

The serpent is the representation of intuition. What God says to the serpent as he curses it is especially significant. God says that because the serpent offered Eve a choice that he should be distanced from woman. It is this distance that points to the loss of matrilineal intuition. It is no longer inherited or passed down; we must learn it ourselves despite great pain and consequential punishment. 

Intuition is learned through observation, choice, and the resulting cause and effect. (If you were born empathic, there’s a good chance you’re naturally intuitive, though you can greatly refine this skill by learning your life lessons.) If we understand that we have a right to have experiences in life and learn from them, we learn the principle of cause and effect. “If I do this, that happens”, “when this happens, I feel this way”. If we don’t know we even have a choice in the matter, we don’t have experiences — or don’t have the right experiences — and therefore we don’t learn how to become intuitive. It is that simple.

Women (and men’s) natural ability to engage in this kind of learning cycle is severely thwarted by the left-brained patriarchal system. There are unspoken rules we must follow in order to be successful in life: look good, act nice, talk sweet, don’t rock the boat, don’t usurp anyone’s power, don’t get messy. For many, their lives are planned out well before they have a decision in the matter and life starts a trajectory course to become the closest thing to whatever our family, friends, peers, or colleagues deem worthy. We can choose these in order to be successful, or we can choose ourselves against the odds. 

We tend to become very ashamed when we explore, experiment, live freely, or trust ourselves and it goes wrong. We can be blamed, scapegoated, mocked and shamed. “I told you that would never work out”, “I knew that was a pipe dream” we will be told. Then, if we have an experience that ends up being traumatic and we choose to speak out, we are often dissected and analyzed as though we cannot be trusted — as though we are guilty for having the experience. What we are seeing with the #MeToo movement is a reflection of this original Eve wound. If you think for yourself, you risk punishment. If your experience goes terribly wrong, it’s all your fault. If you choose to speak up against injustice, you will be punished. 

In the story of the Temptation of Eve, God is saying that Eve does not have permission to live an experiential life. He did not approve of her unintentional power play. As a result, Eve is punished with pain — literal physical pain in the form of childbirth — but also spiritual pain in that she will seek good energy from her spouse but not be able to see it reciprocated, and she will not be able to access the greater knowledge even though she is now aware it exists. Her punishment for questioning and experiencing is servitude, pain, and disconnect. It will be a life of pretending despite the knowing.

Yes it sounds archaic, but how many women would describe their marital relationships like this to this day? Many of the women I know and have worked with secretly feel this way even if they pretend things are fine or fair. Women seek the affirmation and desire of their spouses within the patriarchal system even if they are feminists. It is because we have been told, “if you do this and don’t do that, you will be happy.” “If you work to please me and ignore the real stirrings of your soul, you will be happy.” It is only when we question why we are in this system to begin with that we can see the system will never bring us peace or joy. 

The woman withdrawals because her spouse cannot intuit her needs, perhaps even though she can intuit his — or vice versa. She gets jealous when she sees him looking at other women and it is as though he is seeking someone or something that she will never be. Why does he see through me, she wonders. She quiets her intuitive abilities altogether because she seeks to get her husband’s love through the loops of patriarchy. She becomes more soft, more or less opinionated, more “done up”, and takes an interest in things she doesn’t really enjoy — or on the other extreme, she becomes withdrawn and resentful to try to get her needs met. Either way she works within this system, she cannot seem to quantify what she wants, why she misses it, or why she cannot get it no matter how “acceptable” she becomes.

She may seek the counsel of older women in her life only to have the same tired talking points reflected back to her: “what were you wearing?”, “why did you make him mad?”, “you shouldn’t have been there to begin with”, “but you’re not perfect so how can you be a victim?” Or perhaps you turn to a loved one to reveal abuse. They may choose the easy road and ignore your cries for help in lieu of upholding the family structure they don’t want to see fall apart. “They would never do such a thing; you are lying” you may be told.

I will say it again: just because someone is older or more accomplished does not mean they have undergone the life lessons which gives them character and a strong intuitive sense for right and wrong. It is why we are seeing friends and family turn against each other as problems arise in life and in the global political sphere. All that matters is how much soul work you have done and the masks are being lifted so everyone can get a glimpse. 

The most important thing to remember is we cannot win within the toxic masculine system. There is no real way to get emotional needs met, have truly liberating experiences, learn what we want to, become who we want to, or make things fair while the system is still present. It only perpetuates victim blaming and shaming and a loss of feminine intuitive abilities. If you naturally feel guilty or have a shame complex, please know it is not you — it is the system. This is a deep wound many carry that originates long ago but is still societally acted out to this day. The only way to beat it is to not participate in the system. You are not Eve and you don’t deserve to be punished. 

Ready to reclaim your health and self? Click here to learn more about Nutrition Consultations, Energy Readings, and Body Readings. 

Empath sabotage type 3: amnesia

abuse, candida, chronic illness, empath, energy, fascia, holistic, mind-body, narcissism, relationships, stress

I created this blog post series because the brand of spirituality many of us grew up with or currently ascribe to is one of total selflessness at the expense of ourselves and our health. I lived that kind of spirituality for 32 years and all it got me was stressed beyond belief, taken advantage of, energetically drained, and sick. As an empath, I want you to live your highest potential, just as I encourage my clients to do. In order to do that, you have to accept and come to terms with some hard truths. These are the kind of truths you can only acquire through experience or storytelling, and many holy books or spiritual leaders prevent awareness of these things because their teachings make you powerless — personal power always being usurped for someone else and their interests, for the church, the tithe, or the prayer. 

Only when you have been in the trenches of narcissism and examined and analyzed the tactics much like a reconnaissance mission, can you come out the other side equipped to handle our current reality. Let me tell you this: I have been in the trenches, so deep in the muck and mire that I though I would drown and since there was no one coming to my rescue, I had to save myself. I see my clients living the same. Eternal drowning is not what a legitimate god, savior, universe, or ascended master would want for you. No matter your religious or spiritual beliefs, please know this: there is something so much better for you on the other side of the trauma. You do not have to live the pain and hardship forever. But first, you must recognize and remember that you are in it in the first place. 

Planet earth is a funny place because it can be thrilling, beautiful, tragic, sorrowful, and amazing all at once — on the same day or within the same hour. Events transpire or moods change and what was once positive now seems negative, or vice versa. The problem is that we keep trying to convince ourselves of how wonderful this place is, in order to have the hope to keep going, even when the reality is not always so great. Crime, death, immorality, war, rape, hunger, pollution, lack of ethics or justice pervade as a daily truth. So we begin to live on the excitement of hope instead of raw reality, which is why so many people have a hard time being present: “that party will keep me happy”, “getting married will bring me ultimate happiness”, “a new wardrobe will bring me everything I ever wanted”, “that sports game/team will entertain me”, “that movie will be so great”, “if I have these things, I can look past the problems here.”

In fact, much of what we interpret as “happiness” is contrived — smiles on faces of people who are being paid to be happy in order to create a good experience for the consumer: advertisements, television shows, wait staff, etc. If you have worked a day in your life, you know a number one job requirement is a good attitude, no matter your skill set. While many people are genuinely happy in their lives and jobs — or are trying to be to set a positive tone in their home or work life (which is a very good thing) — here I am asking you to see beyond the facade of “hoping” or “trying” and into the reality. 

The facade of “everything is so great here, right?” creates an amnesic state that confuses empaths and creates a high degree of cognitive dissonance. This is very similar to Empath sabotage type 2: confusion, but the difference is that the amnesia is a by-product of the confusion. By reminding you of how “wonderful” everything is, how grateful you should be, how negative you are for seeing the problems, others are reinforcing the cognitive dissonance between your conscious and subconscious mind. It is a way to make you forget the reality and live in a sleep state. The chasm will keep growing until you do something to stop it. 

As an empath, you easily see the problems. You easily see through the bullshit. People are saying one thing publicly but feeling or doing another behind closed doors yet no one is addressing it. I witnessed this over and over again in the natural health world, working for some big names. In places you would think were all about de-stressing, health and wellness, employees were sick and taxed, dropping like flies (one girl was so stressed she faceplanted and nearly broke her nose). But to the boss and audience they enthusiastically remarked how happy and grateful they were.

People need money, people need to keep their jobs — I get it and I have been there. But my point is that the amnesic state was so great in these places that no one knew up from down, left from right, right from wrong. Everything was backwards and twisted and no one trusted themselves. They sacrificed who they really are for who others wanted them to be and it was hurting them. Every experience was filtered through the amnesic state and these people were not able to reconcile the true feelings of their subconscious mind (which is what we are here to do) with their current reality. They were even lying to themselves because they didn’t know they had another option. 

What happens to people who identify the real issues at hand despite constant bombardment with false information telling them otherwise? What happens spiritually and energetically to people who see the sadness on someone’s face through the contrived smile? If you choose to recognize the truth in these situations, you wake up out of the amnesia.

And let me tell you, it is an utterly painful process because you will go at it alone and you will face all of the facades you have built your life on, but on the other side of it is the remembrance of who you actually are and your true purpose and destiny here. You have a big one — we all do. By remaining unaware, you are allowing others to control your fate, your health, and what you will become. You will be doomed to a permanent sleepwalking state. 

You see, narcissistic personalities are benefiting from you remaining in the amnesia. It is where you are your most vulnerable, most trusting, most forgiving, most mold-able, and most use-able. It is where your energy is readily available for draining. You deserve to help yourself first and foremost. “Put on your own oxygen mask before you can help others” kind of thing. Empaths have had this backwards for quite some time. 

If you are an empath or highly sensitive person, you likely are extremely loving and forgiving. You simply know no other way. It does not feel good for you to hold things against people and even when you have been severely abused, hurt, or traumatized. Your true nature is to forgive and forget — both for their benefit and for yours — even if it takes a while for you to get there. (And empaths usually hold it against themselves when they cannot easily let go of the pain caused by others). This is a positive quality and you shouldn’t give this up; holding onto bad energy causes physical and emotional illness. Forgive and move on, yes, but I want to urge you — don’t let them do it again. Once you wake up, it becomes easier to recognize when someone is hurting you and stand up to them or get out in order to become your true self and stop the energy drains.

To further get out of the amnesia, use these tools:

  • meditation (to bring up subconscious memories and release them)
  • energetic release (identify where the dense heavy energy/pain is on your body, visualize its frequency, then consciously release it)
  • do not be talked out of what you know is true
  • accept punishment from no one
  • remember what your purpose here is (despite everyone having an opinion on who you are/how you should live your life – what do you feel in your soul you want to do/become?)
  • do not be coerced for any reason
  • fix your physical health with nutrition
  • if it resonates with you, and you live in a state/country where legal, use cannabis or psychoactive plant remedies to enhance your spiritual path and intuition (I know this is controversial, but this is your decision to make in a safe, appropriate, and legal way to enhance rather than “escape”, become dependent upon, or harm. As with any substance, speak with your healthcare provider first.)
  • create boundaries in which you easily say “no” when you want to
  • get rid of narcissistic energy vampires in your life who are parasitic and draining your energy
  • activate your chakras for ultimate personal power and good health
  • fix your fascia (get rid of fascial adhesions which keep you infected, immobile, in constant states of pain remembrance and triggering, and create a density which blocks chakra activity)
  • identify abuse in your life
  • stand up to lies, even if you are the only one
  • stop catering to/being afraid of the egos of everyone around you (bowing down to their egos force you to live in the sleepwalking state)
  • question EVERYTHING you have been taught and are told (then tune into your body/soul to see what is true for you)
  • always ask yourself “why?”
  • give yourself permission to be the ultimate authority on your life


Read Empath sabotage type 4: left-brained logic

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