The “Eve” wound is resurfacing – is it affecting you?

abuse, article, empath, energy, intuition, mind-body, narcissism, relationships, stress

Eve is the prototypical empath/intuitive in the Judeo-Christian religious texts and we can learn much from her experience. The Temptation of Eve, as told in Genesis, sets the tone for all intuitives and is embedded into the subconsciousness (or, collective unconscious – take your pick) of many. While some consider it fact, others allegory, and still others the product of imagination, I believe, like all religious texts or mythological stories, we can learn from it much about how to navigate the current state of affairs and why we feel, think, or act the way that we do. This is one interpretation, but know there are many. 

The story begins with God outlining firm commandments for man and woman in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve obey what God has told them, including which trees to eat from — all but one in the middle of the garden. Then a serpent comes to Eve in Genesis 3:4-5 and encourages her to eat from the forbidden tree: “You will not surely die. For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” The serpent encourages Eve to think for herself and plants seeds of doubt in her mind: Why wouldn’t God allow you to eat from the tree of good and evil? Why wouldn’t God allow you to see the truth? Why would a loving god keep you blind?

Eve begins to question this herself. Why wouldn’t an all-knowing and all-loving god allow his creation to see things clearly for what they really are? Why isn’t Eve allowed to fully access her own decision making skills? Why can’t Eve be powerful? In Genesis 3:6 we see Eve’s thought process: “So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate.” Eve took a hint, questioned the higher authority and made a decision for herself because she wanted to see the truth. She wanted to learn cause and effect, she wanted to see things from a different perspective. She wanted to be free to fully embrace the experience — without rules. 

Eve also gave fruit from the tree to her husband, Adam, and then he blames her for their error. It’s interesting that only Eve is required to engage in critical thinking skills, not Adam. (Remember my last blog where I spoke about the “Mother” archetypes putting up with bad behavior from the “Youth” archetypes because we’re scared to force them to grow up?). Eve knows she broke a law but if the law is unjust should one follow it? And should she be punished for allowing others to question the unjust laws? Adam surely could have said, “No, I don’t wish to break this commandment with you.” Rather, Adam blindly follows and is made out to be a bit of a dunce while Eve is painted as a premeditated temptress who should have known better. The man blames the woman’s personal decision making power (aka: intuition) and the woman blames the serpent for her desire to experience her intuition. It was truly a case of “I don’t know why I trusted my gut. I feel so ashamed for not obeying. My intuition made me do it”. 

As a result of Eve’s choice to discover, explore, and learn, she is punished — quite severely with no chance of forgiveness. Genesis 3:13-19 goes on to say,

“And the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”
The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
So the Lord God said to the serpent:
“Because you have done this,
You are cursed more than all cattle,
And more than every beast of the field;
On your belly you shall go,
And you shall eat dust
All the days of your life.
And I will put enmity
Between you and the woman,
And between your seed and her Seed;
He shall bruise your head,
And you shall bruise His heel.”
To the woman He said:
“I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception;
In pain you shall bring forth children;
Your desire shall be for your husband,
And he shall rule over you.”

“Then to Adam He said, “Because you have heeded the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree of which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat of it’:
“Cursed is the ground for your sake;
In toil you shall eat of it
All the days of your life.
Both thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you,
And you shall eat the herb of the field.
In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread
Till you return to the ground,
For out of it you were taken;
For dust you are,
And to dust you shall return.”

The serpent is the representation of intuition. What God says to the serpent as he curses it is especially significant. God says that because the serpent offered Eve a choice that he should be distanced from woman. It is this distance that points to the loss of matrilineal intuition. It is no longer inherited or passed down; we must learn it ourselves despite great pain and consequential punishment. 

Intuition is learned through observation, choice, and the resulting cause and effect. (If you were born empathic, there’s a good chance you’re naturally intuitive, though you can greatly refine this skill by learning your life lessons.) If we understand that we have a right to have experiences in life and learn from them, we learn the principle of cause and effect. “If I do this, that happens”, “when this happens, I feel this way”. If we don’t know we even have a choice in the matter, we don’t have experiences — or don’t have the right experiences — and therefore we don’t learn how to become intuitive. It is that simple.

Women (and men’s) natural ability to engage in this kind of learning cycle is severely thwarted by the left-brained patriarchal system. There are unspoken rules we must follow in order to be successful in life: look good, act nice, talk sweet, don’t rock the boat, don’t usurp anyone’s power, don’t get messy. For many, their lives are planned out well before they have a decision in the matter and life starts a trajectory course to become the closest thing to whatever our family, friends, peers, or colleagues deem worthy. We can choose these in order to be successful, or we can choose ourselves against the odds. 

We tend to become very ashamed when we explore, experiment, live freely, or trust ourselves and it goes wrong. We can be blamed, scapegoated, mocked and shamed. “I told you that would never work out”, “I knew that was a pipe dream” we will be told. Then, if we have an experience that ends up being traumatic and we choose to speak out, we are often dissected and analyzed as though we cannot be trusted — as though we are guilty for having the experience. What we are seeing with the #MeToo movement is a reflection of this original Eve wound. If you think for yourself, you risk punishment. If your experience goes terribly wrong, it’s all your fault. If you choose to speak up against injustice, you will be punished. 

In the story of the Temptation of Eve, God is saying that Eve does not have permission to live an experiential life. He did not approve of her unintentional power play. As a result, Eve is punished with pain — literal physical pain in the form of childbirth — but also spiritual pain in that she will seek good energy from her spouse but not be able to see it reciprocated, and she will not be able to access the greater knowledge even though she is now aware it exists. Her punishment for questioning and experiencing is servitude, pain, and disconnect. It will be a life of pretending despite the knowing.

Yes it sounds archaic, but how many women would describe their marital relationships like this to this day? Many of the women I know and have worked with secretly feel this way even if they pretend things are fine or fair. Women seek the affirmation and desire of their spouses within the patriarchal system even if they are feminists. It is because we have been told, “if you do this and don’t do that, you will be happy.” “If you work to please me and ignore the real stirrings of your soul, you will be happy.” It is only when we question why we are in this system to begin with that we can see the system will never bring us peace or joy. 

The woman withdrawals because her spouse cannot intuit her needs, perhaps even though she can intuit his — or vice versa. She gets jealous when she sees him looking at other women and it is as though he is seeking someone or something that she will never be. Why does he see through me, she wonders. She quiets her intuitive abilities altogether because she seeks to get her husband’s love through the loops of patriarchy. She becomes more soft, more or less opinionated, more “done up”, and takes an interest in things she doesn’t really enjoy — or on the other extreme, she becomes withdrawn and resentful to try to get her needs met. Either way she works within this system, she cannot seem to quantify what she wants, why she misses it, or why she cannot get it no matter how “acceptable” she becomes.

She may seek the counsel of older women in her life only to have the same tired talking points reflected back to her: “what were you wearing?”, “why did you make him mad?”, “you shouldn’t have been there to begin with”, “but you’re not perfect so how can you be a victim?” Or perhaps you turn to a loved one to reveal abuse. They may choose the easy road and ignore your cries for help in lieu of upholding the family structure they don’t want to see fall apart. “They would never do such a thing; you are lying” you may be told.

I will say it again: just because someone is older or more accomplished does not mean they have undergone the life lessons which gives them character and a strong intuitive sense for right and wrong. It is why we are seeing friends and family turn against each other as problems arise in life and in the global political sphere. All that matters is how much soul work you have done and the masks are being lifted so everyone can get a glimpse. 

The most important thing to remember is we cannot win within the toxic masculine system. There is no real way to get emotional needs met, have truly liberating experiences, learn what we want to, become who we want to, or make things fair while the system is still present. It only perpetuates victim blaming and shaming and a loss of feminine intuitive abilities. If you naturally feel guilty or have a shame complex, please know it is not you — it is the system. This is a deep wound many carry that originates long ago but is still societally acted out to this day. The only way to beat it is to not participate in the system. You are not Eve and you don’t deserve to be punished. 

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Empath sabotage type 3: amnesia

abuse, candida, chronic illness, empath, energy, fascia, holistic, mind-body, narcissism, relationships, stress

I created this blog post series because the brand of spirituality many of us grew up with or currently ascribe to is one of total selflessness at the expense of ourselves and our health. I lived that kind of spirituality for 32 years and all it got me was stressed beyond belief, taken advantage of, energetically drained, and sick. As an empath, I want you to live your highest potential, just as I encourage my clients to do. In order to do that, you have to accept and come to terms with some hard truths. These are the kind of truths you can only acquire through experience or storytelling, and many holy books or spiritual leaders prevent awareness of these things because their teachings make you powerless — personal power always being usurped for someone else and their interests, for the church, the tithe, or the prayer. 

Only when you have been in the trenches of narcissism and examined and analyzed the tactics much like a reconnaissance mission, can you come out the other side equipped to handle our current reality. Let me tell you this: I have been in the trenches, so deep in the muck and mire that I though I would drown and since there was no one coming to my rescue, I had to save myself. I see my clients living the same. Eternal drowning is not what a legitimate god, savior, universe, or ascended master would want for you. No matter your religious or spiritual beliefs, please know this: there is something so much better for you on the other side of the trauma. You do not have to live the pain and hardship forever. But first, you must recognize and remember that you are in it in the first place. 

Planet earth is a funny place because it can be thrilling, beautiful, tragic, sorrowful, and amazing all at once — on the same day or within the same hour. Events transpire or moods change and what was once positive now seems negative, or vice versa. The problem is that we keep trying to convince ourselves of how wonderful this place is, in order to have the hope to keep going, even when the reality is not always so great. Crime, death, immorality, war, rape, hunger, pollution, lack of ethics or justice pervade as a daily truth. So we begin to live on the excitement of hope instead of raw reality, which is why so many people have a hard time being present: “that party will keep me happy”, “getting married will bring me ultimate happiness”, “a new wardrobe will bring me everything I ever wanted”, “that sports game/team will entertain me”, “that movie will be so great”, “if I have these things, I can look past the problems here.”

In fact, much of what we interpret as “happiness” is contrived — smiles on faces of people who are being paid to be happy in order to create a good experience for the consumer: advertisements, television shows, wait staff, etc. If you have worked a day in your life, you know a number one job requirement is a good attitude, no matter your skill set. While many people are genuinely happy in their lives and jobs — or are trying to be to set a positive tone in their home or work life (which is a very good thing) — here I am asking you to see beyond the facade of “hoping” or “trying” and into the reality. 

The facade of “everything is so great here, right?” creates an amnesic state that confuses empaths and creates a high degree of cognitive dissonance. This is very similar to Empath sabotage type 2: confusion, but the difference is that the amnesia is a by-product of the confusion. By reminding you of how “wonderful” everything is, how grateful you should be, how negative you are for seeing the problems, others are reinforcing the cognitive dissonance between your conscious and subconscious mind. It is a way to make you forget the reality and live in a sleep state. The chasm will keep growing until you do something to stop it. 

As an empath, you easily see the problems. You easily see through the bullshit. People are saying one thing publicly but feeling or doing another behind closed doors yet no one is addressing it. I witnessed this over and over again in the natural health world, working for some big names. In places you would think were all about de-stressing, health and wellness, employees were sick and taxed, dropping like flies (one girl was so stressed she faceplanted and nearly broke her nose). But to the boss and audience they enthusiastically remarked how happy and grateful they were.

People need money, people need to keep their jobs — I get it and I have been there. But my point is that the amnesic state was so great in these places that no one knew up from down, left from right, right from wrong. Everything was backwards and twisted and no one trusted themselves. They sacrificed who they really are for who others wanted them to be and it was hurting them. Every experience was filtered through the amnesic state and these people were not able to reconcile the true feelings of their subconscious mind (which is what we are here to do) with their current reality. They were even lying to themselves because they didn’t know they had another option. 

What happens to people who identify the real issues at hand despite constant bombardment with false information telling them otherwise? What happens spiritually and energetically to people who see the sadness on someone’s face through the contrived smile? If you choose to recognize the truth in these situations, you wake up out of the amnesia.

And let me tell you, it is an utterly painful process because you will go at it alone and you will face all of the facades you have built your life on, but on the other side of it is the remembrance of who you actually are and your true purpose and destiny here. You have a big one — we all do. By remaining unaware, you are allowing others to control your fate, your health, and what you will become. You will be doomed to a permanent sleepwalking state. 

You see, narcissistic personalities are benefiting from you remaining in the amnesia. It is where you are your most vulnerable, most trusting, most forgiving, most mold-able, and most use-able. It is where your energy is readily available for draining. You deserve to help yourself first and foremost. “Put on your own oxygen mask before you can help others” kind of thing. Empaths have had this backwards for quite some time. 

If you are an empath or highly sensitive person, you likely are extremely loving and forgiving. You simply know no other way. It does not feel good for you to hold things against people and even when you have been severely abused, hurt, or traumatized. Your true nature is to forgive and forget — both for their benefit and for yours — even if it takes a while for you to get there. (And empaths usually hold it against themselves when they cannot easily let go of the pain caused by others). This is a positive quality and you shouldn’t give this up; holding onto bad energy causes physical and emotional illness. Forgive and move on, yes, but I want to urge you — don’t let them do it again. Once you wake up, it becomes easier to recognize when someone is hurting you and stand up to them or get out in order to become your true self and stop the energy drains.

To further get out of the amnesia, use these tools:

  • meditation (to bring up subconscious memories and release them)
  • energetic release (identify where the dense heavy energy/pain is on your body, visualize its frequency, then consciously release it)
  • do not be talked out of what you know is true
  • accept punishment from no one
  • remember what your purpose here is (despite everyone having an opinion on who you are/how you should live your life – what do you feel in your soul you want to do/become?)
  • do not be coerced for any reason
  • fix your physical health with nutrition
  • if it resonates with you, and you live in a state/country where legal, use cannabis or psychoactive plant remedies to enhance your spiritual path and intuition (I know this is controversial, but this is your decision to make in a safe, appropriate, and legal way to enhance rather than “escape”, become dependent upon, or harm. As with any substance, speak with your healthcare provider first.)
  • create boundaries in which you easily say “no” when you want to
  • get rid of narcissistic energy vampires in your life who are parasitic and draining your energy
  • activate your chakras for ultimate personal power and good health
  • fix your fascia (get rid of fascial adhesions which keep you infected, immobile, in constant states of pain remembrance and triggering, and create a density which blocks chakra activity)
  • identify abuse in your life
  • stand up to lies, even if you are the only one
  • stop catering to/being afraid of the egos of everyone around you (bowing down to their egos force you to live in the sleepwalking state)
  • question EVERYTHING you have been taught and are told (then tune into your body/soul to see what is true for you)
  • always ask yourself “why?”
  • give yourself permission to be the ultimate authority on your life

 

Read Empath sabotage type 4: left-brained logic

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Empath sabotage type 2: confusion

abuse, chronic illness, empath, energy, holistic, mind-body, narcissism, relationships, stress, Uncategorized

In my last blog post, I wrote about Empath sabotage type 1: energetic starvation. You see, empaths need and thrive on emotionally reciprocated love as their primary fuel. It’s what gives them the energy to keep going both mentally and physically. Starving them of this leads to utter psychological and physiological chaos. Because empaths operate on the assumption good energy for good energy, starving them of good energy causes existential crisis. Trust me, there are solutions to this problem (see the link above). Unfortunately though this is but one tactic used against empaths to keep us stressed and sick.

Today I’m adding onto the ideas discussed in that last post because there are many ways empathic people are hurt, used, and targeted so others can get ahead — or so that we can’t. The next big one is confusion. Mind games, misleading information, alternative storylines, red herrings, subconscious suggestion, groupthink, “abusive fallacy”, “tone policing”, “traitorous critic fallacy”, appeal to fear, Bulverism, straw man, etc. etc. etc. In other words, these tactics and many others are used by narcissists in order to confuse empaths and the people around them in order to deflect from whatever the real issue at hand is, or in order to throw a wrench in the life of an empath so they cannot be successful.

In all honesty, I wish I didn’t have to tell you these things and I wish they were not really happening. The truth, if you want it, is that is it real and it does happen very often. It will happen every time you try to “up level” and improve yourself or something big in your environment. Every time you try to shine, speak your truth, get away from the drama and trauma, heal yourself, improve the world around you, and remember your magnificence. It is truly the “crab in the bucket” syndrome. If you up level, you are going to have others try to bring you down first — or make you so traumatized it feels impossible to succeed. I know because I have lived this and because my clients live it too. It causes a great deal of confusion which can make us sick and immobilized. 

First, I want to preface this by saying that we all play mind games with each other — whether we realize it or not. The difference is some people do it on purpose to get ahead and some people don’t know they’re doing it. It’s all about intention. Until one has identified their ego (that is, the desires for control and pain) and worked to tame it, you’ll be floating in and out of your ego all the time. In one moment, you’ll be deep in the ego without even realizing it, and in the next moment you’ll be striving to be your higher self — vacillating between the subconscious and conscious mind, base and holy, holy and base. Narcissists do this on purpose to hide their desire for power and control, while everyone else does it without realizing or because they are truly trying to grow and evolve (which is a hard process). 

As I said, there are, however, people who are aware of this phenomena and purposefully hide their ego in order to throw others off, or to appear as their higher self when it is self-serving for them. They may hide behind good words and deeds but use common fallacies to serve devious desires. The people around them don’t recognize this and continue trusting them (only seeing the higher-self version they have put on display for the world), while the empaths become very confused because they see through this facade. We recognize their cognitive dissonance or hypocrisy in their words and actions; it’s simply in the nature of an empath to see through bullshit. 

I’ll give you an example. You’re part of a spiritual community promoting love and peace. Therefore, naturally, you expect love and peace from them. Maybe you even pay them a tithe, or for classes or services, or some kind of extracurricular activity. You hope it will enrich your life and the life of your family. You work hard to build community within this group and get involved. And although there are many other people in the same boat as you, lovingly being of service to the group and motto, there are others who engage in more base activities like gossip, defamation, groupthink, coercion, and negativity. While people are saying they want love and peace, their actions tell you otherwise. You can’t make heads or tails of it. 

A common scenario that creates confusion is when a group member starts asking questions or observing the baseness going on on a deeper level within the community, they are punished with isolation, bullying, threats, intimidation, etc. “They’re not spiritual enough”, “they’re depressed”, “they aren’t like us”, “they’re just trying to cause trouble”, “stay away from them” you will be told. You are observing one thing but being told another through logical fallacies — you feel utterly confused. 

As Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés writes in her wonderful book ,”Women Who Run With The Wolves“, it is as if there is a door you have been subconsciously told you cannot peek behind. In her book, Pinkola Estés tells the story of Bluebeard — a charming king figure who woos women with lavish gifts, intellectual conversation, and supposed generosity. Although one young woman has been warned about his true violent nature, she ignores the warnings and takes a liking to him anyway: “he can’t be that bad — after all, he has been so kind and generous” she rationalizes to herself. He gives her a key ring with keys to open all doors of his castle — except, he tells her, don’t use that one key. Of course, she becomes so curious that she just has to open the door that goes with that key. To her shock and horror, she finds the bones of his ex-wives that have also opened the door, that he has killed and hidden. Then he comes for her too. 

Here is the metaphor: should you open “the door” they don’t want you to open, you face proverbial death. The door leads to the truth and it is an initiation into intuition, should you follow it and seek it out — but the truth, sometimes, is horrific, which is why narcissists use tactics to confuse you and deflect the truth. The “door” is ultimately the ego of others that has been hidden on purpose. This is why Bluebeard warns the woman not to enter — only “bad” girls open the door so if you opened it, it must be because you are a bad seed and deserve punishment.

Do you see the confusion? I cannot tell you how many clients have come to me with this same scenario. Situations like these will cause empaths a great deal of cognitive dissonance, which leads to stress and physical symptoms. First you will feel confusion and stress/pain because chances are no one — or very few people — will admit to what is truly transpiring because they don’t want to be singled out or punished, so you feel alone in the pain. Secondly, it’s because you had the expectation of good energy for good energy and that was not met — and in fact, it was likely completely annihilated and then you were shamed for ever having that expectation to begin with. 

If you want to avoid the confusion that causes empathic sabogate, learn the games and fallacies others use to get their way. Remember, it is not a straight line to the truth because there is a near constant game of deflection and projection happening in groups or relationships where narcissists are in control of the social setting. While you may observe one thing and watch the trail of deflection occurring, it is easy to talk yourself out of it when you are the only one seeing it or are the only one caring that it is transpiring in the first place. Trust yourself, trust your body’s reaction, trust your instinct and intuition. Not everyone wants to be awake to these things, and some already know it’s happening but either don’t want to be singled out, or are participants. 

Once you have seen the truth, you cannot unsee it. Trust yourself first and foremost in order to avoid confusion. 

Read Empath sabotage type 3: amnesia

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