When trusting your intuition doesn’t result in a happy ending

abuse, core wounds, empath, energy, intuition, karma, past lives, stress

The divine is mysterious. It’s tricky. It doesn’t care what you want or desire. It wants what it wants and come hell or high water, it will get it because it is what you — and the world — need. It will lead you down roads you never knew to travel, or wanted to. It will ask of you and if you accept, you will be lead towards your fate and destiny and natural genius. If you don’t, you will be led back into pain and suffering, problems, hassles, and karma.

Often it comes as the gut feeling that something is really good for you, or really bad for you. It’s the pang in your stomach, the shot of adrenaline, the anxiety or nervousness — or the love or elation. These are all signs you are being asked to follow a path you didn’t think you ever would. You are being asked to sacrifice external gain in order to get to the root of your karmic debt.

But sometimes you do listen, trust, and follow and it still doesn’t turn out “right”. There is a common misconception that trusting your higher power/higher self/intuition/holy spirit will result in some kind of magical happy ending. I’m here to tell you it doesn’t, at least not in the sense we expect. Instead, what comes about is lesson upon lesson, growth, change, redirection, shedding of the ego, and resolution of past karmic cycles that were still hurting you in the here and now.

I’ve received intuitive precognitions about situations in my life and ignored them before too: working a good job that made me good money and I was perfectly happy at, but getting the gut feeling I needed to quit within two weeks. I ignored it and was laid off ten days later for no reason with no job lined up. I later saw it was because I had a unique message I needed to get out and working for someone else wouldn’t allow me to do that. I’ve been asked to leave relationships but tried to make things copacetic before leaving and was tormented with physical and emotional abuse until I had no choice but to pack my bags at 2 am and flee. Now I follow the lead of spirit because I know no matter the outcome, it is for my greatest good. When the contract is done, it is done. Don’t try to fight it.

Learning and growth are no easy road and so, few choose it. Face problems head on based on trusting your higher power and those around you are likely to blame the consequences on you. Troublemaker, shit starter, drama queen. You didn’t get what you wanted? It’s your fault. It didn’t go according to plan? You were naive to begin with.

Let me tell you, this isn’t true. It is a brave soul who trusts the callings of their spirit rather than ego, even if the end result is nowhere near where they thought it would lead them. When life hands you a box of darkness despite you having done the right thing, think of all of the beauty in what you have done and learned and become. All is not lost. It is also a brave soul who can say thank you to the people who treated you like shit; thank you to the people who disappointed you; thank you to the people who couldn’t love. Their lack of love showed you what real love should be. The sleepless nights showed you how to take care of yourself. Their transplaced pain taught you to never accept someone else’s pain. Their ego denial caused you to go deeper into yours. Their lack of support showed you how to support yourself. Everything falling in at once showed you how capable you are in impossible situations.

Look at what a beautiful gift all of that pain was. You may have done the right thing and will never be rewarded in the 3D world but you have learned the meaning of life and you have been given a chance to get back on your life path which you had veered off of so far. What a beautiful gift for a beautiful soul. So shed some bittersweet tears of gratitude then say “Thank you, thank you, thank you. This too is a gift”

The “toxic masculine” doesn’t want you to resolve your karma

abuse, chronic illness, empath, energy, holistic, karma, mind-body, narcissism, relationships, stress, thyroid

toxic masculine and karma

Each one of us has unique life lessons that dictate what we are here to do, to learn, and to become. Some choose to recognize these and resolve them, and others ignore them to continue a more “blissfully unaware” life. Truthfully, you can only go so many years before the weight of karma finally catches up with you. Unresolved karma will make you stressed and sick, no ifs, ands or buts about it. Your unresolved karma will also 100% be passed down to the people around you, including your friends, family, and especially children. If you love yourself and others, you will interrupt the karmic cycle and break it once and for all. Don’t make others bear the burden of the dysfunctional generational cycle — in essence, it’s passing down a life sentence of pain and illness. And the toxic masculine system is behind it all.

“Toxic masculine” is the designation for the unhealthy ways the masculine is expressed. A healthy masculine seeks to support the feminine, engage, understand, compromise, lead with integrity, and move forward when it works (not when it is forced). The healthy masculine is the person who has gone into battle, recognized his own weaknesses and sought to correct them, and come out the other side able to understand the needs of the people around him and how to move things forward. The toxic masculine is the little boy who has never earned his stripes, only dresses up as king, and makes decisions that serve himself rather than the whole. And when this little boy gets caught making bad decisions, he blames and shames rather than admitting to the truth and changing his behavior.

The toxic masculine does not like to admit to problems because the “there are no problems” or “the feminine is the problem” deflection has worked for so long. It has helped the proverbial little boys remain in power while they otherwise should be guilty as charged. The toxic masculine says, lets’s rush this along, let’s ignore the real issues, let’s gloss over and cover-up the truth, let’s blame the victim, let’s remain amnesic, let’s overlook how this all connects, let’s enforce rules and regulations that work in our favor, let’s engage in extreme group think for our benefit.

If we started admitting to the problems, the toxic masculine would have no more power. The secrets are what uphold the toxic system and keep us stressed, sick, and un-actualized. If we started telling the secrets, the system would dissolve. The secrets are the karma. The toxic masculine would rather view problems as isolated instances rather than interconnected messages that contain a call to action. The sacred feminine says, if there is a problem we must fix it because it is affecting people. The toxic masculine says, there are no problems and you are a fool for ever thinking so.

As I have said before, please do not be fooled into thinking this is a man versus woman issue. It’s not. We each have masculine and feminine aspects to our bodies and personalities. I have seen done-up soccer moms and female holistic health professionals exhibit toxic masculine traits just as much as flower child “peace loving” male hippies. No one is safe from the toxic masculine system because we live in the system and have been indoctrinated into it from birth. Though, within the last year have we seen significant forward momentum towards balancing the scales in honor of the sacred feminine, we first have to be aware of the toxic masculine system and its functions in order to break it down and finally resolve the karma.

Remember, karma is not about you being “bad” and it is not something you necessarily have to possess religious beliefs to understand. It is a reminder of Newton’s third law and it allows us to see that everything is interconnected and will come back around to haunt if not resolved. Even the Bible talks about the “sins of the father”. Your core wounds are the soul vulnerabilities or problems that you inherited from the ego of your caregivers (or beyond) because they never addressed the core wounds that were passed down to them and on and on back in time. Your life lessons are the patterns in your life that are dysfunctional, and are tasks you can do in order to overcome the core wounds. The karma is the overarching cause and effect of how you and everyone around you engages the life lessons — do you resolve them or will they come back around another time? Also, your lessons are not isolated — they are connected to everyone around you and vice versa. When one person overcomes the karma, it makes it easier for others to do the same.

Let me give you an example:

You have been married for 20 years but are now in the middle of a divorce. For nearly two decades, you listened to your mother-in-law complain about her divorce from your spouse’s father. You heard about the terrible backstabbing, lying, court ordeals, drug use, and abuse. He engaged in a total character assassination of her and took her kids away through the court system because his family had enough money to do so and enjoyed this privilege.

You watched your mother-in-law cry and recount the same stories each time you saw her for holidays and gatherings. You felt her pain. But each time you visited with her, she cried the same tears and told the same stories from nearly 40 years prior and never took advice or tried to change. You see that she has never gotten over the pain, understandably, but she has also never done anything to overcome the trauma.

Now that you are going through your own divorce, you think back to the stories she told you and see how the pattern this family engaged in for generations is coming back to haunt you and your ex. The court drama, the money struggles, the tug of war over children, the projection of guilt or innocence — the same exact tactics being used. What his dad did to his mom is what your ex is doing to you. From here, you can crack it up to coincidence or “that’s just what happens in divorce” or you can go back to what you learned from this family and use it to your advantage to break the cycle.

You see, in such an example, although they are now divorced, the divorce itself was never the “end goal” — the way they handled it is. The mother still carries the extreme trauma of the past, and the father did not act in justice or righteousness in this situation. Therefore, neither were able to truly resolve the karma. The father still has energetic strings he holds over the mothers head, and she feels the sadness and weight of this.

Ironically, your mother-in-law supports her son (of course) despite him doing the same thing to you that his father did to her. Because she is unaware of the family cycle, she cannot see how the abuse she endured is the abuse she is now supporting.

To complicate things further, you have your own karma from your family as well. Perhaps, like many with thyroid disease, you inherited a family pattern of running and hiding or getting quiet when things got hard. You can throw your hands up and give up or give in, or you can say to yourself, I don’t want to run from this — I will be seen, be heard, process and resolve it, and then be done.

What no one else has done in the past is what you must do in order to stop the karma.

Again, breaking your karma is not easy but please don’t get discouraged — this doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t try — you absolutely should and it is the true way to peace, health, and self-actualization. However, if you choose to recognize the cycles and stop them, you will come up against systems and people who want to prevent the unraveling of the problems, who want to keep the secrets, who want to poison and subdue the subconscious mind so that you question yourself and reality, and who will harm anything that seeks to expose the truth. You’re not just exposing one person or one situation, you are exposing entire lineages that have never done the right thing. The present is a reflection of past cycles that were never broken, until someone becomes aware of them.

As I said before, the toxic masculine system is at the root of the karma cover-up. It prefers to pretend everything is fine so it can maintain control. If you choose to tell the secrets, admit to the problems, and do what no one before you has done, you resolve your karma. Then you will be free from the energetic strings that are pulling you down and keeping you stressed and sick. Resolving your karma means you don’t have to live in a traumatized state forever. It is a path to happiness. Undergoing this journey is up to you and do not be surprised if you face spiritual warfare while doing so. In the end, it is still worth it.

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How to stop projecting

abuse, empath, energy, holistic, intuition, karma, mind-body, narcissism, relationships

The work I do as an Intuitive is to get people to open up, admit to the problems, and then I connect the dots and offer them solutions to finally get to the root of it. The first half of what I do is listening (intently — to your every word, omission or hesitation, pause, and intonation because they all mean something and are subconscious projections of your higher truth), and the second half is speaking — showing you what has been overlooked, which steps you need to take next, which decisions you need to make, and validating what you have been through.

It is so important to open up and begin processing undigested emotional material because your feelings not only affect your physical health — they will affect how you understand reality. If you have lived painful experiences that left you fearful, angry, hurt, feeling “bad”, ashamed, powerless, inadequate or wrong, inevitably you will project these experiences into your daily interactions because it was so traumatic and because you see it keeps happening.

However, when you are trying to refine your empathic abilities, become intuitive, and work through your core wounds and life lessons, the secret feelings become a hindrance because you will be filtering truth through the lens of falsehood. Anything that clouds your lens is a deterrent to stopping the projections, and seeing the truth and pursuing it.

Imagine it is a cloudless, starry night and you are standing on the top of a tall building, peering through the lens of a high-powered telescope. You desperately want to see the stars and planets because you have heard how vast and beautiful they are, but you want to see up close and for yourself. As you look through the eyepiece, you realize the aperture is dirty and you are unable to see through to the stars. Maybe you only see a small piece of space but the rest is blocked by the smear. Or, perhaps the lens is not in focus and so you are working hard to adjust it in order to see clearly. If you take your eyes away from the telescope and simply look up at the sky, you can see space clearly though not in great detail. Some impatient people may give up altogether and just take a step back to look at the sky with their naked eye before walking off. Others will persist in order to clear any debris from the lens and properly adjust the settings to put it in focus. You get to choose which of these people you will be.

Think of the telescope as the sum of your soul’s experiences, and think of the stars and infinity of outer space as the true, authentic beauty of who you really are and what the world really is. When we take a step back and look with the naked eye, we can reflect on the vastness of life but may feel overwhelmed with how “big” it feels. Without wiping off the smudges and without learning to adjust our focus, we are unable to intimately become acquainted with who we really are and what is really happening around us so we feel we are never in control of ourselves/lives and lack understanding. Because we don’t understand, we may project past trauma onto the present situation. It’s simply a matter of not being aware yet.

I have learned to, and encourage others, to begin looking at life as if all of the experiences we have are meaningful and meant to teach us something. This means even the worst of circumstances that leave us depleted and hurt — things that we would normally view as setbacks — are actually hidden treasures that we can use to our advantage to overcome our karma. “Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.”

Identify the mindsets and emotions that are clouding your vision. When you walk into a new situation, how do you generally feel? Do you enter a room feeling confident and social? Or do you enter a room feeling doubtful of yourself and uneasy because you aren’t sure who will want to talk with you, like there is something wrong with you, or like people are judging your every move? While there is likely a legitimate aspect to how you feel (ie: you have in fact been treated poorly by others), you have to overcome such projections to get to the truth. We cannot allow our experiences and negative feelings to cloud our vision. Flip the script — walk into life with different assumptions (aka: energy) and see how things change.

What you have been told about who you are, what you can and cannot do, which lines to carefully tiptoe is not accurate. What you have been told about yourself — whether directly or based on the subconscious actions of others — is a result of their projections, and the projections imposed on them by those before them, and on and on. First, admit to your projections, then empathically understand the projections of others. Finally, see that there may be a bigger truth at play that needs to be pursued.

Once I was shown the symbol of the yin and yang to help me to understand my projections and the projections of others. I had been through so much trauma and yet my perpetrators were playing the “nice guy/girl” part, pretending like no abuse had happened. I knew what I had experienced but I had fallen into the empath trap of trying to make peace with my perpetrators actions. I wanted to see things from their perspective so I could have empathy for them and understand why this had happened. For years, I wrestled with not just the trauma from the abuse, but the lingering effects of the brainwashing and group think so many abusers employ: “everything is fine, what you think happened didn’t happen. Everyone else is fine, why aren’t you?” For victims, this is an ultimate insult.

The yin and yang image helped me make peace with the situation. The larger black and white half-spheres (sometimes called the “shady” side and “sunny” side) within the yin-yang symbol show us ultimate truth. The smaller dots inside of each half represent our projections and the projections of others. We cannot see truth without the projections — getting to the truth requires an initial duality in order to see both sides. After we have admitted to all sides of personal truth, we can begin to uncover a universal truth in which there is clear right and wrong.

In other words, generational cycles are at play in the case of projection. Everyone has their own projections they have inherited from others defining the truth for them. So although you may feel one thing is right and they may feel another thing is right, getting to the universal truth in the situation requires admitting that both people are entitled to feel how they feel because they are seeing life through the lens of their own projections and nothing can change your projections, except you. Then it is your responsibility and the responsibility of everyone involved to start picking apart their own projections (which is how you tame your ego). From there, we can have empathy and compassion for the situation and be able to compromise in order to find the greater, unchanging truth. The unchanging truth is the meaning of the lesson. The projections are the way we engage the lesson. If only one party chooses to examine their projections, ultimate truth will not be achieved. It requires both parties taming their ego in order to get to the truth.

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