Empath sabotage type 8: karma shifting

abuse, empath, energy, holistic, intuition, karma, mind-body, narcissism, past lives, relationships, stress

This is a heavy topic. I’ve not only been through it myself but I have witnessed it happening to my clients. It’s miserable and it sucks, in all honesty. I’ve written seven (possibly eight) other blog posts on the topic of empath sabotage and this is one of the biggies. If you are highly sensitive or empathic, this has likely been happening to you your entire life, whether you have realized it thus far or not. 

Let me explain this phenomenon to you. 

We live in a world or duality. Up and down, day and night, sleeping and awake. We also live in a world of many different types of people. I am not speaking about external identifiers in this case (sex, religion, ethnicity, etc). I am speaking about matters of the soul: empathy versus narcissism. In this world exist three types of people: empaths, narcissists, and those somewhere in the middle. Also note that empaths can exhibit many traits of narcissists if they have been surrounded by them or otherwise influenced by them. Narcissists can play the empath part. It gets confusing. Only by feeling a person’s energy and intention can you differentiate. 

We all also have our own individual and collective karma. That is, the problems we need to work through in the here and now in order to spiritually ascend. Without resolving these things, you will come back lifetime after lifetime, or you will experience in this lifetime, the same problems, hassles, triggers, and pains. 

Empaths by and large carry a greater burden of karma because 1). you have been here so many times and hold the burdens of those lifetimes within your subconscious mind and body, and 2). others have shifted their own karmic consequences onto you to purposefully avoid the consequences of their actions, or to not be found out as egoic and you have accepted it. It’s the classic “shoot the messenger” archetype — it is easier for others to blameshift rather than accept the karma. It’s also like being thrown to the wolves while the proverbial mob cheers at the bloodshed because no one else wanted to be the sacrificial lamb. Empaths have always been the sacrificial lamb. 

Point blank, here’s how to stop that shit:

Undoing your own karma and that others have forced on you is the best course of action because then you will be free and find peace. You will no longer be sick, stressed, and indebted. It’s not fair and it is abusive when others do this to you, but you can make it better yourself — I have seen it and done it. 

If all else fails, remember this — judgment day will come. It may not be now. It may not be soon. They may keep getting away with the transplaced pain. But everyone will have to answer for what they have done. They will only get away with this for so long. And unfortunately for them, the groupthink will mean nothing when it comes to the scales of justice. 

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Understanding karmic storylines


Karma isn’t just a sequence of unfortunate events or punishment for bad behavior. It is a long trail backwards of cause and effect, and it happens for a variety of reasons, not necessarily because you “deserve” it despite what you may have heard. Instead, it’s a reflection of Newton’s third law: everything affects everything else and will have an impact down the road, whether we anticipate it or not. And it will happen to you no matter your religious or spiritual beliefs because it is basic physics. 

I was sitting in a salon yesterday for a haircut and while I waited, I listened to a hairdresser (rather loudly) tell another client her lengthy family history and drama without abandon: her mother grew up as the mother figure when she was only a child; this woman’s mother acted more like a teenager rather than caregiver, and when they all tried to move in together this week (despite the painful past), the grandmother (who happened to be dying of cancer) realized after one day and one too many fights it wasn’t going to work out so she secretly packed up her bags and headed back home from Texas to Michigan. And no one wanted to talk about it. Whew. 

As I always say, we all have problems. Every person and every family or circle of friends/community has deep-rooted underlying issues, despite many working hard to pretend there are no issues. I enjoy the people who are brave enough to admit to the problems — and respect those who actually want to work through them. 

In a situation like the above you may think, well, those are some family issues that are unfortunate and may never be resolved. But when I hear these kinds of things I think back to what led these people to this place in life and what would be required to make it better (and therefore change the karma).

There are really simple ways to understand karma and I want to challenge you to begin using these tools so you can see how karmic storylines are playing out in your life and therefore, how to improve them — which is everyone’s responsibility while alive here.

First, dig really deep to identify the core wound associated in the situation. In this example, the core wounds would be abandonment (getting triggered in the mother, based on her childhood) and lack of help, and a grandmother who is always avoidant, shuts off, and runs when things gets hard or leaves others to pick up the pieces. Realistically, the daughter wants her mother to be the adult, do the responsible thing, admit to what she lacked as a parent, and show unconditional love despite her daughter’s resentment. You see, the roles were reversed and it caused everyone great pain. The daughter wants a mother (instead of having to be her own mother) and the grandmother likely had a childhood in which she was expected to be responsible far too young and she rebelled which could overwhelm her, or perhaps because she was now sick she also needed care and unconditional love. Do you see how the cycle keeps repeating?

Once you understand the core wound, you can see why this situation is transpiring to begin with. It’s not for no reason — it’s because the people involved are triggering each other’s core wounds; if so, they will just repeat in situation after situation, lifetime after lifetime no matter which sex or role you are born into. When you address the situation head on and find compassion, empathy, and compromise, you can resolve your core wounds so this kind of thing doesn’t happen again. So you can grow instead of retreat and repeat.

In the above example, changing the karma would require a hard conversation. It would require all parties see beyond the circumstantial triggers (arguments about silly things that never get to the root of the issues/core wounds) and talk about the depth of their wound in order for the other to truly understand. It would also require genuine listening and the desire from others to resolve the issue no matter what, ie: weakening their own ego for the sake of someone else.

Secondly, look back to all famous works of literature, or even popular shows and books. What is embedded into the collective unconscious is no mistake. The stories we keep telling and sharing with the world at large are as old as time itself. Yes the characters and intricacies of the plot change, but the overarching themes are the same. In nearly every story you read or watch, a common denominator is that the characters are presented with a choice: do I repeat the past or do I venture into the brave unknown? Do I forgo what everyone else wants or expects of me or do I choose my own path? Are we all going to keep doing what is easy or will anyone choose the difficult thing? Who will prevent the truth or good from rising and who will fight to expose it? Who will come up with solutions and who will allow the problems to persist? If I choose my own path, what is the punishment I will face? Does the fear of that outweigh the truth of what is in my soul?

Karmic storyline character roles:

  • The twin flames: fight constantly, passive aggressive if only for comedic effect or can also be overtly aggressive, very high masculine and high feminine, or one is integrated and one not; abusive relationship. One may actively try to make things better (grow), but not always.
  • Distractor: comes in to “swipe” the scene clean and create a transition to a new topic, or so everyone forgets what just happened – sometimes for comic relief, to control the conversation or groupthink, sex appeal, etc.
  • Narcissist: the fearless, egoful leader who gets everyone into trouble and out of trouble, manipulates the entire situation to get his way or make sure no one lets onto what he is doing, earns the favor of others especially those in authority, abuses others then justifies or blames it on victim. He may try to do the right thing every now and then to save face but will always go back to control or abuse.
  • The lackeys: carrying out sinister deeds on behalf of the narcissist leader(s) so they stay in the good graces and receive benefits from the leader. They assume they will be protected, but the leader may eventually turn against them too. 
  • Empath: the sweet, sensitive, king or queen type energy who tries to bring everyone to their senses and do the right thing but is not heard or purposefully quieted. The narcissistic leader/abuser generally targets them to “astroturf” their reality. The narc may eventually fess up and say they will never do it again and there may be a forgive and forget mentality, or the victim may remain hurt.
  • Soul mates: any two people on the same wavelength and always work together when problems arise. 
  • The wise one/mentor: warns the characters about the dangers, but the characters often do not listen then feel bad afterwards and realize he/she were right; helps others learn the lesson.
  • The groupthink background actors/the “mob”: mindlessly supporting the narcissists in order to not be targeted themselves or in order to fit in. May remain silent or may perpetuate groupthink gossip. Refuse to think for themselves.

Use this information to your advantage to identify the storylines you are in, your role and the role of others, and how to escape them or turn them on their heads.

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Tracing the roots of the toxic masculine as we witness its fall

abuse, brain, empath, energy, holistic, mind-body, relationships, stress, Uncategorized

What’s happening globally — politically, professionally and personally — is no accident. Secrets are being exposed, skeletons are tumbling out of closets, new information is being brought forth to be corroborated or denied, and on it goes. It suddenly seems no one is safe — whether layperson or famous figure. It’s an undoing of karma — a righting of wrongs — and we’ve all got a front row seat. 

The societal changes we’re undergoing are the resultant spark from the bombshell news last October involving Harvey Weinstein and allegations of sexual abuse brought against him (built on the backs, of course, of generations who actively fought for equality). Since that time, there has been a breaking of the dam moment and people are opening up, digging deep, sharing (with their thyroid chakra energy), and starting the healing process. It’s an opening to the sacred feminine and we’re getting to hear sides to stories we thought were cut and dry, we’re being asked to open our minds and start feeling to discern the truth. It may not seem like it now, but these are good things. 

The left-brained masculine system has been running the show for quite some time. It rushes, it detracts, it glosses over, it ignores, it covers up, it mocks, it takes what it wants, it deceives, it believes it is worthy. As I’ve written about before, empaths tend to have greater right brain abilities and therefore are able to tap into energy and their intuition much better. It’s also why we face more challenges than others: we feel deeply, we crave peace, we seek to meet the needs of others, and we often allow ourselves to settle for less than we are worth which allows us to be taken advantage of and fatigued easily. It’s likely the left-brained system has left you feeling drained for quite some time but perhaps you haven’t connected the dots to your frustrations.

We’ve lived the left-brained system. We understand how it works, what it expects of us, and how to play the game to get by. We’ve put off “too-lofty” hopes and fantasies for fear of unrealistic expectations or shattered dreams. We’ve tried to standardize our personalities and interests so we can fit in. We’ve said yes when we really wanted to say no. We’ve tried to go with the flow despite feeling a much different undercurrent. The things we’re seeing in the media — the stories, the drama, the undoing and unraveling — is the end of an era. It’s the turning of the tide. It’s the long walk to the gates at the other side of it — the “promised land”. 

The undoing that we’re seeing, the checks and balances, the desire for equality and discernment is bringing us into a time where more feminine, right-brained skills are prized and balanced with the masculine, rather than usurped or oppressed. It’s where one is not whole without the other and in order for the whole to work, the individual parts need to be at their best — in fact, encouraged to be at their best — because we see things work better when things are built in supportive partnership rather than separation. Not masculine versus feminine, and not feminine versus masculine — feminine and masculine.

The left-brained masculine social system can also be classified in other ways: patriarchy, rigidity, dis-connectivity, requires proof, requires external validation, “toxic masculinity” – gets what he wants no matter what. It’s the macho facade or cool exterior hiding the scared little boy inside. Yes, despite the hyper-“manly” displays of war, rape, and power plays, at the root of the left-brained, patriarchal, toxic masculine system is a scared little boy who just wants to be king.

The problem is, this proverbial little boy hasn’t earned the right to sit on the throne — and deep down, he knows this. He’s made cheap shortcuts, told lies, feasted while others have starved, and said one thing while promoting another. He’s pushed the boundaries, gotten away with as much as he can, and now he’s been caught with his hand in the cookie jar and is reaping the consequences.

The little boy here symbolizes the toxic, not-yet-actualized masculine. He didn’t want to do the hard work, go into battle, and come out the other side a seasoned decision maker. It was easier to pretend he had already done the soul work. As a result, the kings aren’t making good decisions. In fact, the decisions they have made for many years under our noses have left people used and abused.

Right now, we are all being asked “how much abuse is ‘okay”? How much abuse should one be able to — or required to — forget or ignore? How long can the real human experience be ignored? Which abuse is relevant? How much brain or soul trauma should be permissible? Is considering how someone felt in the moment childish or unreasonable? Can the feminine be believed? Ultimately, I believe we will come to find that no abuse is tolerable, even those considered tiny and minuscule. The toxic masculine system is the root cause of abuse and inhumane treatments towards other people. We are waking up to this reality.

The problem is that while some may have aged physically and use fancy props to display their supposed wisdom, they have not developed personally or done the soul work in order to develop character. Thus far, we have been taught to trust people based on their biological age, income, profession, gender, and race. We assume that they must be wiser because they are older, outwardly successful, or adept at socially acceptable charades. But that assumption just isn’t true and this is the undoing and unraveling we are witnessing. Just because someone is older, more advanced professionally, better off financially, more connected or intellectual, funny, worldly, spiritual, or nice, does not mean they posses character. It does not mean they are capable of telling the truth, admitting to the lies, finding solutions, or righting the wrongs. In order to possess these qualities, you must undergo the process of opening your chakras which involves confronting your core wounds and life lessons. It’s the waking up out of the amnesia I have written about before

But please know, this does not refer to nor characterize all men. We all have masculine and feminine aspects to our personalities and the goal isn’t to suppress one or the other, but to balance and accept them. Unfortunately, these polar opposite personality traits often get expressed in unhealthy ways. In fact, women are often perpetuators of the toxic masculine system either because they don’t realize it, are forced into it, or because they are told they will gain certain advantages from it. Ex: women tearing each other down to protect their “territories” (aka: mean girls), women feeling they have to be “done up” or cosmetically altered to be considered credible or liked, women ignoring their true interests for jobs and hobbies that will get them approval from others in order to succeed, saying yes when everything inside of you is screaming no because you don’t want to rock the boat or risk punishment.

There are three stages of personal development it is said we should all seek to embody. For women, these stages are commonly referred to as the Virgin/Maiden, Mother, and Crone archetypes. It suggests that we are all undergoing life lessons in order to ascend from one level to the next, learning as we go. Each symbolizes a different cycle in the life of a woman, should she choose to learn her soul lessons. The Virgin represents hopes and dreams, the promise of a future, joy and naivete. She is everything you wanted for yourself when you were younger but only dreamed of, never worked for. The Mother represents power, true love, protection, and availability. She is how you love and protect those in need, do for others, put in the effort even when it’s not fun, and make time. The Crone is the ancient wisdom you have acquired on your journey and the ability to sit, wait, go at it alone, and reflect.

Men also have cycles they must go through in order to develop their character: Youth, Warrior, and Sage. Much like the Virgin, Mother, and Crone archetypes, the Youth, Warrior, and Sage archetypes are a natural progression from undeveloped child, to a person who takes life head on and fights for truth and justice (a true ally, equal, and defender of women, rather than subjugator), and finally to a prophet who understands the meaning of it all and makes peace with it. While these are typically sequential cycles, you can float in and out of any of them at any time — and should — because your personality is not limited to one but is a combination of all three. It’s the un-tapped-into parts that we are most scared of or try to compensate for. 

The societal upheavals we are witnessing are tracing us back to the roots of the beast. Where did it all start? Why do we consider this socially acceptable? Is pain-free too much to ask for out of life? Do our actions that we deem inconsequential really affect other people for the rest of their lives? Is that fair? Is there a different way to live?

The feminine has grown up into the mother, despite the long stymied battle. We have tiptoed around the scared inner child in those around us. Now, she wants to become the crone. She no longer wants to bow down to the good old boys club just because “that’s the way it’s done”, offer up her power for the benefit of others, and shut her eyes or ears because she will be the only one who admits to knowing. “Mothers” posses a magical, omniscient understanding of their children and are patient despite bad behavior. We knew if we spoke, we would force the little boys to begin the arduous journey towards becoming real sages and because the process is so intense, not everyone makes it. We knew they wouldn’t like their real stature being known. We have subconscious guilt over being the “impetus”. But the origin of the toxic masculine runs so deep, it may require an earthquake to pluck it by the roots. 

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